


6 Hours

by Keith22



Category: Sanditon (TV 2019)
Genre: 7 Deadly Sins, Bipolar Disorder, Coke/Pepsi Quiz, F/M, Finding Love, Historic Preservation, Iowa, Jealousy/Anger, Minnesota, Starting Over, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:34:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 142,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26592985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keith22/pseuds/Keith22
Summary: Alternative Universe/Present DayFollow the story of Sidney and Charlotte after she's completed her study abroad and is heading back to the United States.  Is there such a thing as love at first sight?
Relationships: Charlotte Heywood & Sidney Parker
Comments: 137
Kudos: 128





	1. "Sidney this is Ms.Heywood..."

**Author's Note:**

> "Scripting". That's my writing style. I write like the story is already being adapted for screen. My style is conversational and more relaxed. I interject Point Of View commentary for humor and insight. Don't put too much thought into it. Just read and imagine the characters right in the room with you; you are following along, script in hand. You are the lucky audience of one. I hope you enjoy! ~ Keith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney swears that it was love at first sight for him when he met Charlotte. The others are not so convinced. It's the awkward first days of working together to the plea from Sidney to go back to the US with Charlotte. I believe she said, "No, no, HELLLLL no!'

“Sidney, this is Ms. Heywood. Ms. Heywood, this is my brother, Sidney. Sidney Parker.”

“Call me Charlotte. Good to meet you?” Charlotte sticks out her hand to handshake and Sidney hesitates. [Hmmm. Self-assured. That hand flew out with no hesitation...interesting.] He shakes hands and takes note that Charlotte’s is firm and confident. They stare eye-to-eye for a moment and smile at one another.

[What? Never shaken a woman’s hand, Sidney? What’s that about? Take note - strange, but cute! But isn’t that your history with men, Charlotte? You said you would never do that again. Stop RIGHT THERE! He has “player” written all over him!]

“Welcome to Sanditon, Ms. Heywood—Charlotte.” (This is the first American woman Sidney has ever met. He is intrigued by her looks and poise.) 

“Sidney, Charlotte is here on a study program for 6 weeks on an academic scholarship from her University, back in the United States. She will be working with us and learning how we are developing our resort here at Sanditon as well as studying our historic buildings. She is an Architecture grad student at the University of Minnesota.”

“Oh, really! You’re a long way from home.” [I’m going to love these next 6 weeks. Sidney, why must you do that? Make this time different. Stop staring for one thing.] 

“Yes.”

"I’ve never met anyone from the US before, Ms. Heywood—Charlotte. Sorry. This may take me a while to get used to. Forgive me if I make social etiquette errors.”

“That’s quite alright. We can help each other learn.”

“Yes.” (Sidney is almost rudely staring at her. Charlotte nods and looks away.)

“Sidney, I’m expecting you to show Charlotte around. Make her feel comfortable in our seaside village. Charlotte, we shall get started tomorrow after you’ve had a chance to relax and get a good night’s sleep. I know you’ve traveled a long way in the past 24 hours.” 

“Could I ask, Tom, for the tour tomorrow?”

“Certainly! No reason to do it today. Sidney can do his duty tomorrow, can’t you Sidney?”

“Yes. Yes, of course. I look forward to it.” [I can’t take my eyes off of her—and she notices! My God, she’s beautiful! I’m supposed to work with her? What the hell is going on here right now?] 

"Thank you. I appreciate your understanding, Tom. I am looking forward to sleeping.” (Charlotte smiles with a giggle.) 

“You will hopefully find our home warm, comfortable and inviting. Mary is looking forward to having another female in the house! From your bio you two already have much in common.”

[May Iiiii see that bio, please?]

“Wonderful!” (Charlotte turns to speak with Sidney and notices he’s still staring at her.). [He’s creeping me out a bit.`] She smiles politely and says “So, Sidney...let’s do that tour first thing in the morning, shall we?”

“Sounds good! Until tomorrow then.”

“Yes. So good to meet you.” 

“Thank you. All the same. I’ll see you in the morning.” (Sidney has his hand on his hip and is running his fingers through his hair. He’s feeling more and MORE flustered! He waves good bye to Charlotte.). [Wave? Whaaaat? Really, Sidney? Are you a school girl now? Ugh!]

Tom opens the door and Charlotte heads out. Tom and Sidney exchange a nod but he’s careful to not share any emotion. When he leaves he just stands there staring at the door like, forever! [What the hell happened just now?]

Sidney sits down and starts rubbing his stubble beard and continues to run fingers through his hair. He’s fidgety. Going from sitting to standing to pacing the floor. [Oh, my God. I want to marry that girl—I’m GOING to marry that girl! Am I losing my mind, right now? Where did THAT come from? I don’t even know her for Christ’s sake!]

Sidney shuffles things around on the desk and puts away blueprints. [What the hell is wrong with me?]

Sidney grabs his coat and shuts off the light. He catches his reflection in the window. [God. I look scared. I AMMM scared!!! What is this? I’m going to the Crown. Maybe the guys will be there—set me straight. (A quick text confirms they’re there.) This is the craziest thing that’s ever happened to me in my LIFE! WOW! Wow. Wow. Wow. God, do I need a drink!]

____________________

“Good morning, Sidney!”

“Good morning, Charlotte!”

“Did you have a good sleep?”

“Yes! Badly needed. I don’t think it took more than 5 minutes to fall asleep. I feel much better.”

“Good! Well, are you ready to start our tour?” [I’m staring again, aren’t I?]

“Yes. That would be lovely.” [Now, if he keeps up this staring business I’m going to have to say something and embarrass him. Is there a bougar on my nose? I feel like he’s looking at a puppy through the pet shop window. Woof! That’s it. Maybe I’ll bark at him!]

“I figured we’d hit the beach first. Sound good?”

“Yes! Perfect!” [I’m trying to look more closely at Sidney but I’m finding it hard to be appropriate. Maybe asking questions will allow some more communicating face to face.] "Sidney have you lived in Sanditon all your life?”

“I grew up on an acreage just outside of town but yes, Sanditon is my home town. My father’s too. In fact we are the 4th generation of Parkers.”

“My goodness! That’s impressive!” 

“Yes. Four generations in real estate. Land owners, developers, sales and brokerages and landlords.”

“Sounds like the perfect family to help me with my studies!”

“Yes, I suppose so.” (Sidney smiles.)

“So, do you live in town now?”

“Yes, I do. I live in one of the historic apartment houses.” 

“I would love to see it some day!”

“I think I could wrangle you an invitation,” Sidney says with a twinkle in his eyes. 

(They are heading into the tunnel that leads to the beach.)

“Here you are Charlotte, the sea and all her beauty.”

Charlotte gasps. “Oh, it IS beautiful. I would get so spoiled if I lived by the sea.”

“ I think many of us take it for granted.”

“I do too, back home. I live in a state of 10,000 lakes!” 

“TEN THOUSAND?!”

“Yes! There are actually MORE than 10,000! That’s just the state motto.” 

“I have a lake just 6 blocks from my home and a creek a ½ block from my home; the creek feeds into that lake and further down it creates a waterfall and then empties into the Mississippi river. Have you heard of the Mississippi? I never know how far to take that, forgive me if I’m insulting you. Iii know very little of England’s geography.”

“That’s fine. Yes, I took Geography in University.” 

“Well, there’s lots of water in the city of Minneapolis! You can look it up online. There are 4 main lakes in the city and I live very near one of them. I LOVE it! Water is my touchstone, I think. So calming. How about you, Sidney?”

“I try to get down here as often as I can. I love to swim in the sea in the warmer months. If you go over the rocks down there, there are multiple coves where you can swim privately. It’s really nice.” 

“Privately? Why privately?”

“Tradition here, Charlotte, is that men swim nude.” (He stops to turn and look at her expression.)

“Oh! (Hands to mouth.). That’s, ‘interesting’. (She starts to giggle). VEERRY interesting! What time of day do they do that?”

Sidney laughs out loud at that. (Charlotte giggles.)

”Warmer months, mind you.” 

“Oh, you did say that. Guess I got hung up on the nude part. (Charlotte giggles.) Maybe I should visit in July. Do you suppose Tom and Mary would have me? Would it be worth the trip, I wonder? I’d love to see ALL this in the summer. (Charlotte turns and looks at Sidney—sends him a wink. He looks at her—befuddled.) 

[Are we really talking nudity right now?]

Charlotte stands there looking at Sidney with an expressionless face. [Say whaaaa? I’m teasing of course. Oh, my. He’s cuter than I thought. Great smile. Beautiful voice. Yuh-ouch!]. Charlotte boldly asks, “Is it worth it?”

Sidney smiles. [I wonder if she’s serious? That maybe could work out nicely—maybe I could get something going here…? I certainly like what I see so far!] 

“Uhhh-huh. I guess that would be up to you to decide, Ms. Heywood. That would be rather subjective, I would imagine. Are we talking about the same thing?” 

“Oh, never mind. Hit rewind and maybe you’ll catch up.” (Charlotte flashes a big smile.) 

Sidney glances down to see Charlotte’s face. Quickly. She doesn’t notice. [What the _____?]

“Now, I’ll direct your attention to the cliffs. [I think it’s best if I don’t acknowledge that too much. Geeesh! She’s a live one! This could become a war of the wits and I’m very much looking forward to it!] There are paths all over up there if you like to take walks. The view of the beach and town is beautiful from up there.

“I’m going to bring you in to town the back way and we’ll look at some of the historic buildings. As you know, the resort is all new build and we can go over that in the office.”

“So tell me about yourself. How many children in your family?”

“There are 4 of us. I’m number two. I have a younger sister and brother.” 

“And do they live around here as well?”

“No. My sister and brother live in High Wycombe.” 

“And what do they do?”

“My brother manages a bar. My sister is an administrative assistant. They are 5 and 9 years younger than me. Tom and I are 10 years apart.”

“Oh, like he’s an only.”

“Yes, I suppose so.”

“I have brothers 8 and 9 years older than me so I’m considered an only. They were basically out of the house as I was a tween.”

“A ‘tween’?”

“Yes, 10, 11, 12 years old. Not quite a teenager. Between childhood and adolescence.”

“I’ve never heard of that term before but what a good definition. My first American cultural term! Ahhh, here we are in the historic commercial area. Some of these buildings are 200 years old or older. My apartment is 152 years old and is around the corner.”

”1868. Stennett.”

[Quick math. What do we have here?] “I’m sorry, you were saying ‘1868’?”

”Did I just talk out loud?” 

”Aren’t most people audible when they speak?” [Is this a set up?] 

”I’m sorry. Ignore me. That’s how my brain processes things sometimes. I subconsciously speak what I’m thinking. I don’t know why!? I just do. Tune me out.” 

”Well what is 1868. Stennett?” 

”Oh, my parents have investment property. They have a limestone house also built in 1868 in a township named ‘Stennett’. I’m just comparing the two structures...in my head...that’s why I spoke out loud...so I can track my thought process...ummmm. Moving on?” 

[Talks out loud? Yet another “interesting” thing about Ms. Heywood. Beautiful with nice legs, too. Shit! Focus, Sidney!] Oooookay. Well, here you have our historic downtown.”

”Oh, this is FABULOUS! I want to take more time researching this and then talk with you, if I may?”

“Certainly. I’d love to. Now, Sanditon has 3 bars and one church.”

“Oh! Charlotte giggles. I get it! Not unlike small towns in Iowa. Like my hometown. But we have 3 bars and 14 churches.”

“Wow! Why so many?”

“Because we’re all sinners!” (Charlotte starts laughing.) [No response from Sidney. Nevermind.] We have so many Protestant denominations yet half of the town is Catholic! Go figure. It’s a Christian community you could say.’ 

[I think I know what that is…? Being with her is going to be a whole new education on life— American life! I hope I can keep up. She’s smart. You can just tell.] “ We have 4 restaurants with various price ranges. Here’s one.” (Charlotte and Sidney view the menu in the window.)

“Lots of seafood. Surprise, surprise.”

“You don’t like seafood, Charlotte?”

“No.”

“Not any?”

“None. (She wrinkles her nose up.). I never have. I used to be a waitress in a seafood and steak place, a surf and turf place, and it confirmed it for me. She giggles. But hey, to each his own. I’m okay with being the foreigner.”

“Yes. You will definitely be in the minority here.” (Sidney smiles.) 

“So, we have several small shops. Gifts and some clothing, footware. We’re an hour outside of London so for any specialty items people go there. Grocery, Pharmacy, Liquor Store. All of the necessities!” (Sidney smiles.)

[That smile is never going to get old. Yow-za!]

“Can you walk me by your apartment building?”

“Yes, of course. It’s just around the corner.”

“It’s intruiging, isn’t it? What a difference those 48 years make—in style and construction materials.

[Quick math again. I’m impressed.] 

” I am going to love Sanditon, I can tell!”

“Well, I hope you do.” [Wouldn’t that be an amazing coincidence—and convenient? Beautiful. Nice. Smart. Talks to herself...? This will be very interesting.] “Should we head back to the office now?”

“Oh, of course.”

“And, turn here, we’re back at our office. We are fortunate enough to have a sea view.”

“It’s lovely, truly. I feel so lucky to be here.”

[Funny...I feel lucky, too.]

“If you’d like I’d love to take you out for a drink after work? Answer any questions you may have?”

“Oh...thank you, Sidney. That’s very kind of you. I’m going to have to take a rain check this time.”

“Another time perhaps?”

“Perhaps.” (Charlotte timidly smiles at Sidney.) “Now, what are we working on today?”

[Damn. I’d like to get closer to those legs. Beautiful. I mean, c’mon. Sidney, what the HELL is WRONG with you?!] Just then Charlotte pushes a chair over to the bookshelf to reach something she admires on the top shelf. [Oh, God. What’s going to happen to me over 6 weeks? I’ve gotta get some air.]

“I forgot something at home. I’ll be right back.”

“Sounds good! See you soon then.”

[It’s the FIRST day, Sidney. Only the FIRST DAY!]

___________________________________

“Why would I want to subject myself to…? No! It just wouldn’t work. If you want to visit the US do it on your own or go with a friend.”

“And what are YOU, Charlotte? Are you not a friend?”

“Well, yes...but I mean someone like Babs or Crowe. Speaking of, here they are.”  
(Charlotte waves across the nightclub.)

C -“Hi, guys! Hello, Esther.”

E- “What’s the topic of tonight’s discussion? I see fury from afar”.

S - “Funny you should ask. I’m just discussing the merits of me going back to the US with Charlotte.”

B - Babs asks, “And what did she say, Sidney?”

C - “I said no, no HELLLLL no, THAT’S what I said! And I MEAN it!” (As she glares at Sidney.) [Bull-headed Brit anyway. Or are they just plain ol’ DUMB—D.U.M.?]. Besides, the Midwest is not exciting, Sidney! It’s farmland, animals a few small towns scattered along the interstate. It’s boring! Save your trip and do real sight-seeing in a great US city. Not with me."

CR - “Well, Sidney, I think you have your answer.”

C - “He’s thick-headed that one. I mean, you ARE serious, right? Or is this one of your jokes?”

S - “Yes, I’m serious. I would love to go and I want to go with you. I’m being painfully obvious and honest, frankly. Do I just tease so much you can’t tell?” [I really have to watch myself on that.]

C - “I appreciate your sincerity Sidney, I really do but in all honesty, it’s not my thing to bring people along with me places. I do things alone. I really hope we’re done discussing this. I’m asking you to just please understand where I’m coming from. I don’t mean to be a first class grade-A, ‘B’ but I just think it would be a disaster!

“Now, I need to go hit the restroom. Would anyone like a drink while I’m up?”

“No. I’m good.”  
“Me, too.”  
“Yeah, I’m fine.”  
“Vodka martini. Make it a double—neat.”

B - “Sidney, as far as I see it you have less than a week to interject yourself into Charlotte’s life or you can kiss this traveling opportunity and subsequent relationship good bye—pardon the pun old man. That’s as blunt and honest as I can say things. I guess I’m not sure where you’re coming from. I mean, you aren’t keeping something from us are you? Have you been on a date? Or even exchanged a hug or a kiss?”

S - “Well, no...you know how this is. When you work with someone you end up doing things together as part of the job, sharing more and more about yourself, laughing, flirting and eventually an opportunity presents itself to express your interest to them. That hasn’t happened. The closest I ever got was interrupted by Tom.”. 

CR - “Well, how far down have you gotten on that list? Do you feel like things are progressing?”

S - “To be honest...no. She really keeps me at arm’s length. She’s got a great sense of humor. She can dish out a lot and can take it all back, too. She’s not a wimp when it comes to that. We have a great time together. But it’s like she’s built a barrier up around herself in order to not be known very well. She’s very protective of her privacy and her true feelings. Probably that’s so she won’t get hurt. That behavior indicates to me, she’s been hurt badly in the past—at least once. I’m psycho analyzing of course but I don’t know what else it could be…?”

E- “So, let’s just strategize here for a minute. One week left. What are you going to do? How are you going to get her to at least let you through her armor? Well, at least make her care enough to let you travel with her in which case she’ll fall in love with you for SURE!! Right?? (She shoots a glance of raised eyebrows to the table and they all roll their eyes and chuckle.) Is that what you’re really thinking, Sidney? Is that even realistic?”

B - “I’ve seen you seduce, charm and/or hook up with women in one night before but Charlotte is a different story, Sidney. She’s American, for one. It’s going to take more than your British accent and good looks to woo her. She’s older than all the other women I’ve seen you with so she has seen a guy with your routine a time or two. Just think, Sidney, you could maybe end up with someone your OWN age?! Iiiii’d appreciate seeing THAT! With her American culture she’s going to have completely different expectations of you. It’s not going to be easy to impress her. How old do you think she is? She’s on a graduate degree.”

S - “Her SECOND graduate degree after earning a doctorate in Linguistics I’ve found out. She’s from Iowa. She attended Iowa State University for undergrad and the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis for all the other. I did finally peek at her file so I could know SOMETHING about her! She speaks 5 languages.”

CR - “Oh, good God, man. Give it up! She’s too smart for you!” (They all laugh.)

B “So that means she’s closer to your age. 30- something. And frankly, Sidney, you are at a disadvantage because I believe she already has a hold over YOU!”

S - “Give me a break. I can’t be that obvious, can I?”

(The table...All together now!) “Yes!”

B - “You can and you ARE! You get that gleam in your eye when she’s around and you smile a lot. I’m just waiting for you to say or do something stupid so you have hit everything on my checklist.”

CR - “Shhh. Shhh. Here she comes.”

C - “Well, okay then. Vodka martini for you, Sidney. That will be it for you tonight. What is the topic of discussion? Please tell me it isn’t about my traveling companion.”

B - “No, it isn’t. I think Sidney understands that’s not realistic. Don’t you, Sidney?”

S - “Well, I think it IS realistic (Crowe has kicked him under the table) but I’ve decided I’m not going to push it. I figure it’s your loss, Ms. Heywood, if you don’t want me along.”

C - “Well, thank you, gentlemen AND Esther, for talking some sense into him. You know it’s nothing personal, right? I just don’t like you,” Charlotte says with a giggle. “Now, who’s going to dance with me? Not you. I don’t LIKE you, remember?” as she points a finger at Sidney.

The other two guys and Esther get a laugh out of that.

B - “Well, I’m stepping up to the plate, Charlotte. Care to trip the light fantastic with me?” asks Babington.

C - “I would love to!” Charlotte and Babs head out to the dance floor.

E - “Well, I see she put you in your place. Is that what you’re talking about?” 

S - “That’s EXACTLY what I’m talking about. Passive aggressive all tied up in a beautiful package. It’s exasperating! Is it obvious I’m taken with her?”

CR - “Very. As obvious as any other time I’ve seen you over the years. How many times has this been, Sidney? Pushing 30-40-50 women these last what? Three years or so, is it? At least that many, right? (Esther and Crowe share a glance.) 

E - “You have quite a legacy. How many is it, Sidney?” [He doesn't even flinch when we mention numbers like that. Is it even more?]

S - “Seriously, this is different this time. I can’t say why that is. I just see more in her than she’s allowing me to see. I see real potential there, Esther.”

E. - [Conveniently blew right past my question huh, Parker?] So I have to ask. Is it the thrill of the chase here, Sidney? Be honest with yourself. And potential for WHAT?”

S - “I think it’s a gut feel that I can’t shake. THAT’S my motivation. Potential? I don’t know what, per se. This is just...different. Besides, she’s obviously gorgeous, smart, has a great sense of humor and very nice legs, I may add aaand...I better shut up now. I’m beginning to sound stupid, like Babs referred to.(Crowe and Esther throw ANOTHER look at each other and nod.) But I swear her smile and laugh keep me up at night. It’s haunting, ya’ know? 

The two of them throw a look at Sidney,

S - Oh, I just crossed that line, didn’t I?”

CR - “That you most DEFINITELY did, man! You better stop at this martini and head home.”

________________________

B - “Okay everyone, night cap at Crowe’s place!”

C - “Oh, no. I’ll take a rain check on that. I should get some sleep.”

E - “Oh, c’mon, Charlotte. It’s a Friday night. You don’t have to get up tomorrow.’’ 

S -“Don’t wait on her cashing in that rain check. It won’t happen,” says Sidney, pretty buzzed.

B - “Never mind him. He’s got hurt feelings. That’s not your problem.”

Charlotte walks along with the group and doesn’t realize Crowe and Sidney live in the same apartment building!

C - “Ohhhh! Okay, I’d like to see this! How long have you lived here, Marcus? 

CR - “Two years. Sidney recruited me.” Crowe opens the door to the place and Charlotte gasps.

[This is supposed to be MY reaction.]

“OH, it’s lovely. Sooo interesting. Do you just love it, Marcus?”

CR -" Yes! It’s a great bachelor’s pad. Right, Sidney?”

S - “Yeah. BACHELOR pad.” And he glares at Charlotte and Esther standing together.

C - “Now WHAT was that about? I swear to you, he’s acting more and more strange as my time has gone on here. I think he has a crush. Though I might be mistaken. He is pretty buzzed. He teases all the time. I can hardly recognize the truth sometimes.”

E - “I think you may be right, Charlotte. Alcohol is truth serum you know. See what he says.”

C - “Well, I’ve never given him any indication of interest. He better stay out of my ‘bubble’ if you know what I mean.”

Sidney motions to Charlotte to come across the room. “I didn’t mean to sound bitter. I’m just joking. I think I need some coffee. A couple of cokes, maybe?”

“Sidney, look...I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”

“Can I show you my apartment, Charlotte?”

“No.”

“You said you wanted to see it.”

“Well, Sidney. These buildings are symmetrical. I’m seeing what I need to see here.”

“I have better furnishings.”

(Charlotte giggles.) “I have no doubt. That doesn’t matter to me. I’m interested in the structure. You know that. I’m sure your place is lovely.”

“Would you let me have you over for dinner then?”

“No, Sidney. I don’t do that. Do you know how to cook anything other than 'Hangover Hash'? (Charlotte giggles.) I don’t put myself in awkward one-on-one situations with guys I don’t know.”

“You know ME, Charlotte! For Christ’s sake! We’ve worked together 5 days a week for 5 weeks!”

“Sidney...what is this about? Is this a school boy crush or something?” (Charlotte looks him straight in the eye.)

(Sidney looks away.). “No. I just want to be like a friend and do something fun and nice for you before you leave.”

“That’s very sweet. (Charlotte places a hand on his shoulder and Sidney shudders. That’s the first touch between them.) I consider you a friend already, Sidney, without being forced to eat your cooking. (She smiles as they make eye contact.) Is this still you bucking to come to the U.S.?”

“NOPE! I’m droppin’ it, though I think we’d have a blast!”

“I still have to say no and I will see you on Monday. (Charlotte squeezes Sidney’s shoulder—literally the shivers run down his spine.) You have a good weekend, okay?”

Babs yells out, “Everyone! Next week is Charlotte’s last week here in Sanditon. I propose a dinner celebration at our house next Friday evening—a week from today. Can our guest of honor make it?”

“Yes. Thank you, very much.”

“Then, everyone, I expect you there. 6:00 o’clock.”

Sidney is the first one to leave. (That never happens.) “Well, I’m heading out everyone. I should get to bed. I will see you all around.”

(Everyone yells a “good bye.”)

Sidney walks by Charlotte and whispers, “I’ll see you Monday...if not... before.”


	2. "The Sanditon Kiss"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte is not giving anything up as far as personal information. (She does however, share her best skillset with Sidney.) It's Friday night, post dinner party and Charlotte is leaving Monday. Sidney is getting desperate to connect with her before she leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Scripting. I call my style of writing "scripting". It should read as if you're seeing the conversation acted out on television. Like you're reading the actual script and following along with the broadcast. Informal. Like listening in on two(+) people talking. In addition there is Point Of View included throughout. This offers a nice insight into the personalities of Sidney and Charlotte and how they truly feel about each other. Hope you enjoy.

“Thank you for walking me back to Trafalgar house, Sidney. You certainly didn’t have to do that. C’mon. Get under this umbrella. It’s big enough for two!” 

“Okay. Yeah, it’s pretty much a deluge. You never know what the sea is going to stir up. Watch that puddle! Ohhhh, you hit it, didn’t you?”

“Yes! Well, that’s okay. These aren’t my best shoes.”

Just then the wind whipped the umbrella inside out leaving Charlotte and Sidney in the pouring rain.

“Ahhhh! (They both started heartily laughing). Well, I’m glad I didn’t take the time to do my hair today.”

“Yes, me either.”

“Oh, SHUT. UP. ! I hate that you guys don’t ever have to worry about such things. Especially a guy with curly hair! You’re lucky! I’m sure I’m looking pretty sad about now.” (She laughs.)

“Should we run for it?”

“Actually, I don’t mind walking in the rain but if you want to run we can.”

“I’m glad you said it first. I’m all for a leisurely walk in the rain. (Laughter) We’re pretty much soaked anyway.”

“This reminds me of my childhood. Running home from the movie theater in a thunderstorm. I mean a thun-der-storm. One of those real live storms; streaks of lightning across the sky, thunderstorms. Thunder that made the ground shake. They were spectacular. I’d sit on our porch and watch them roll in up over the railroad tracks.”

“You lived near railroad tracks?”

“Yes, the whole town lived by that train schedule. I did live 4 blocks away so the train whistle and the sound of the train on the tracks were a big part of my childhood. My parents would say about me, as a child, ‘If she isn’t asleep by 8:30 she will be by the time the 9:00 o’clock train goes by.’ That sound is so relaxing for me.”

“Tell me more. Tell me about your parents. What did they do?” 

“They were school teachers. Secondary. High school. My mom went on to teach college level art. She has passed though.”

“What did they teach?”

“My dad taught English mostly. He taught media. He was in charge of the speech and drama contests. Both my parents directed the plays and musicals when I was young. Being the youngest I had to go along to play practice so I have many dear memories of playing around the school and in the costumes.”

(Sidney notices Charlotte smile and that she lights up.)

“My mom taught in a different school district. She taught French, Humanities and Literature.”

“Ahhhh, so that’s where the foreign language comes in?”

“Yes, I guess so. I just loved being able to speak about people and they didn’t know what I was saying!?” (Charlotte giggles)

“So. You went on to study linguistics?”

“Yes, now how would you know THAT Mr. Parker??”

“I looked at your file. You weren’t sharing much so I availed myself. You’re a very interesting woman, Ms. Heywood.”

“Okay, ENOUGH! UNFAIR ADVANTAGE! Unless you share of yourself this conversation is over.”

“I’d like to know more about you, Charlotte.”

“Very funny!”

“Charlotte, hey, I mean it! I’m not joking.”

“You do? Whyyyy?” (He stops and turns Charlotte to face him and meanwhile it’s continuing to rain directly down hard in their faces.)

“Why won’t you let me in?”

“What do you mean? Seems like you’re pretty resourceful.”

“Charlotte, I’ve worked along side you for 6 weeks now and for as much fun as I’ve had with you I feel like I barely KNOW you. You’re keeping me at arm’s length. Why is that?”

“Oh, Sidney. Please don’t go and get all serious on me or something now. I’ll be leaving on Monday.”

(She turns to walk away from him.)

“Why not, Charlotte? (While walking behind her. He then stops and turns her around to face him again.) Why can’t I tell you that I care for you and want to get to know you better?”

“Because you don’t know what you’re getting into. Trust me. You don’t want to go there.”

They run to the tunnel that connects to the beach in order to step out of the rain for a while. They’re laughing at how wet they are (drenched) but also how fun this little adventure is.

Sidney moves closer to Charlotte and stares at her in the dim light from the street lamp. “May I kiss you, Charlotte?”

“I…I...Iiiii don’t think that’s a good idea.” [Oh, shit. Here he comes.]

Sidney is not really waiting for an answer. He moves closer and puts his hand on the side of her face and lifts her chin. While he keeps his hand caressing her face he brings the other arm around her waist and pulls her in.

At first things are light and sweet but when they break away, switch positions and kiss again there is more passion shared. Charlotte puts her arms around his neck and pulls him in close. Sidney wraps her in a tight and gives a passionate hug with both arms around her waist and back. [Okay. Not half bad.]

Things start to get a little more heated and Charlotte takes her arms off from around his neck to hold his face and back off... she bows her head for a moment, considering her options, then raises her face and looks for his eyes in the dim light. [Mesmerizing. Well. Here goes. I may really regret this.] She smiles shyly and holds his face and initiates a long and passionate kiss. She continues to gently hold his face and she stops and rests her forehead on his chin and lips as if she’s contemplating her next move. Sidney can tell they both are breathing at a quickened pace. She moves one hand behind Sidney’s neck to play with the hair at the nape of his neck; the other hand remains holding the side of his face. She reaches up and places some light kisses on his neck and moves over to kiss his lips one more time—sweetly. A few sweet kisses. She brings her forehead down onto Sidney’s chest. She gives a loving rub to his chest that extends under his opened jacket before she looks up at him and says, “We better be going.”

Sidney’s head is still spinning from that kiss. [Going? Is this one of your jokes, Charlotte? I give up! You win this round! Very funny. Wait...are you freakin’ kidding me right now?!? You’re seriously leaving?] He really doesn’t want to leave but Charlotte is walking away. She turns to him and shyly whispers, “Thank you.”

Sidney whispers back, “My pleasure,” and smiles.


	3. "I Know You Want To Leave Me..."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...But I Refuse To Let You Go"
> 
> Sidney is determined to come with Charlotte to the US. He knows she loves music and good humor. He's there to offer both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Ain't too proud to beg...please don't leave me girl"

Charlotte has her head down and is fiddling with her phone. A familiar (gorgeous) UK voice says, “Is this seat taken?” Within a millisecond Charlotte recognizes the voice but doesn’t dare look up. [Surely that can’t be…that BETTER not be…]

“Sidney Parker! Oh, dear God!! What on earth are you doing here?”

“Traveling with you to the Midwest of the United States.”  
`  
“NO! You’re not! I told you I didn’t want you to come with me.”

“I didn’t understand you,” he says with a grin.

“Sidney, you most certainly DID! Why are you here?”

“I’m sorry, can you translate? I don’t seem to be communicating well with you. Aren’t you an expert in translation and languages?”

“Argh! Seriously, this is rather rude of you, Sidney.”

“Charlotte, you can tell me you don’t want me here all you want but I don’t happen to believe you!”

“Oh, Lord...now you’re going to embarrass me. Sit DOWN so not every seat around us can hear. (whispering) Why are you here?”

(Whispering back.) “Because I want to be with you. I want to know you better. I feel like we were barely getting started and you were—ARE taking off and running away from me. I think that’s your MO. You’re running from something, Charlotte, and I want to be the person you run TO!”

“How philosophical of you Mr. Parker. I wouldn’t think you had it in you.”

“On the contrary Ms. Heywood. I studied Philosophy while at Nottingham University.”

“Ohhh, a philosophical Project Manager—that’s rich. No wonder we aren’t ‘communicating’. But you’re mistaken Sidney. I’m not running I’m going home having completed my study. It’s TIME for me to go home.”

“You said you were leaving tomorrow.”

“I changed my mind.”

“Charlotte, when I kissed you the other night you kissed me BACK. That was no one-sided kiss. And then you kissed ME! What was the meaning behind that? Huh?”

“I had too much to drink.”

“Charlotte, one glass of wine over two hours is not a lot to drink. You are making excuses. And you’re FULL of excuses! I’m sorry I even listened to you at all! Excuses about why we couldn’t go out just the two of us. Excuses about why we always had to be in a group? I still walked you home that night, alone, didn’t I?”

“Yes. And that was a stupid mistake. OBVIOUSLY!”

“Iiii just don’t get it. And I don’t believe you and I’m hoping by the time we get off this plane you will share with me what you’re so scared of.”

“I’m not scared of YOU or anything else. I’m just not interested and you’re getting on my nerves.”

“I don’t believe that. You don’t kiss someone like that because you DON’T like them!”

“Oh, please. Stop holding that over my head. It obviously meant more to you than to me.”

With that Sidney just shuts up and swallows hard. He gave her a hurt look but what more could he say? She hit him where it hurt. He just stared at her and she stared right back. Neither one flinched.

Charlotte turned her body and stared out the window and Sidney put his bag under the seat and looked around drumming his fingers on his legs. He let out a big sigh. [This is going to be a long trip. Maybe I should not have done this.]

Minutes of silence pass between them.

Charlotte was the first one to speak.  
“I’m sorry. That was very unkind of me to say that. Please forgive me.”

“No. You’re right. It meant more to me.”

‘No, YOU are right. It meant enough to actually scare me. I absoLUTEly hate to admit that—especially to YOU!”

“Scaaare you? Really? I thought nothing scared you, you said. Are you frightened because your kiss outscored mine 10 - 1?"

(They both laugh.)

“It DID, didn’t it!?” (They both laugh harder.)` 

It’s just that I don’t normally do anything NEAR that dumb and it was wrong. I know better. I’m not some stupid 20-something. I don’t want to give in to stuff like that. I’m basically mad at myself—that I fell into that much of an emotional cesspool. That kind of thing NEVER turns out well for me...and I’m scared of getting hurt. There you go. Happy? We haven’t even taken off and you already have your answer. 

Look Sidney, I’ve tapped out on the number of times I’m going to allow myself to be hurt. It’s just NOT worth it. I’d rather be alone. I’m divorced for a reason.

“You’re divorced, Charlotte?”

“Yes. Not like that’s any of your business.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?’

“Why would I, Sidney? That’s not appropriate office talk.”

[Well, it would have been helpful to know, Charlotte! That all makes sense to me now. No wonder you wouldn’t let me in! Divorce? That’s the ULTIMATE “hurt”, isn’t it? I wish I would have known that! Damn! That would have completely changed my strategy!]

“Charlotte look, I’m sure my showing up here seems very selfish and bold of me.”

[Ya’ think?!]

“But I’m asking you to ALLOW me to be selfish for now. I just want to be with you—to spend time with you. I want to be your friend. And I will do my very best to never, ever hurt you. I’d like it if we could go back to the way things were initially. No strings attached. Just friends. We had a lot of fun...don’t you think?”

A smile comes to Charlotte’s face but she looks down to get into her bag and hide it. Sidney bends over to look up at her face and sees her genuine smile.

“Yeah, see! I’m the same way! I think about our time together and smile. That’s got to count for something, doesn’t it?”

Charlotte sits up and smiles when she reflects on how much teasing and joking went on between them. She loved going to work and seeing Sidney each day. They truly are equally matched in terms of wit and sarcasm. It was so fun! A real perk to a study she wasn’t sure if she’d enjoy. She hadn’t smiled and laughed like that in years!

“Here’s the deal Sidney, you said, I’ll ‘do my very best to never, ever hurt you’ and that’s total BULLSHIT! And I KNOW that! By you showing up here you’ve already slipped into the sphere of the unknown and that scares the crap out of me! Don’t you even see that? Just by being here it conjures up expectations and dreams and then I’m already ‘hurt’ whether you choose to stay or run. I mean, get real, Sidney. By you overstepping the boundary it’s a whole new relationship.

I TRIED to set healthy boundaries but by you imposing YOUR agenda upon me, this relationship has already taken a different turn. Do you not see that?” 

“Look, Charlotte, this is a round-trip ticket for me in case this doesn’t work. I’m asking you to give me a chance.”

“Sidney, why didn’t you just listen to me in the first place?” 

“Because I don’t believe this facade you maintain. I just don’t. And I don’t mind being the first to make an effort. I don’t mind admitting I care about you and want to be with you—to spend time with you outside of an office setting. Outside Sanditon and in YOUR world, not mine. That’s why.”

“Ugh! Well, it’s too late now anyway, isn’t it? They’ve shut the door and my stomach just turned over in major apprehension. Just be quiet! I’m going to put my earplugs in and sleep.” 

After a few moments Charlotte pulls her earplugs out…”Sidney, please don’t care about me. I can’t even begin to promise Iiiii won’t hurt YOU. For now I guess you will be with me—for the next 9 hours or so. Beyond that, I don’t know. She just then looks him straight in the eye.

“God, I’m so PISSED to see you here—you bullheaded Brit!? You’re a nuisance! An annoying buzzing housefly in the window.” (She scowls.)

“I know what I felt when I kissed you. And I’m STILL trying to figure out YOUR kiss! Shew!” (And he laughs.)

“PLEASE don’t try to embarrass me! I guarantee you, you will get BACK all that you dish out, Sidney Parker, and more! Put it that way. I don’t take stuff like that lying down. Challenge my character or integrity? You WILL LOSE, I guarantee you. I NEVER lose that battle.”

“Oooo, is that a threat?”

“Consider it a PROMISE! I believe I have more on you than you will EVER have on me. Crowe and Babs filled me in on some things. You know, those friends who knew you when you were young can offer a lot of filth. For instance, what is the average age of your conquests? They seem to think it’s 20- 22’ish. I’m older and a hell of a lot more mature than a 20 year old, Sidney! I hope you aren’t even comparing! And what do you have to say for yourself, Mr. 34, almost 35, I guess??! That’s a bigger age difference than you and Tom! And don’t you think that’s kinda...creepy? Predatory, even?”

“Who said I was 34? I’m 40 and Tom is 50.”

Charlotte looks at him and questions whether she got the correct information from the boys. “SHUT. UP. !!! I’m so SICK of your BS. If you’re 40 then that might as well be considered a statutory offense! 20 years? I’m sorry...that’s just gross. As a bonafide prude I canNOT go there...ICK!” Charlotte mumbles under her breath, “Pedophile, more like it.” [No. Not acceptable at ALL!] 

“What’s that?”

“They have terms to describe that behavior and it’s called ‘SICK’! Ahhh, but are we surprised by that, I ask you?” (Charlotte glares at Sidney.)

They both do a little laugh but they both are thinking of their past relationships.

[Top that, Parker. Truth hurts. So bring it...but, PS...I never lose this argument.]

[She may have a point there.]

“I told you. I’m putting in my earphones and resting. SEEEE this is what I meant about I’m not so sure we would be compatible in the way we travel. It’s a fine dance and you’re not taking my lead.” (She scowls.) 

“First, Charlotte, I have something for you to hear. I think you’ll recognize it.”

[Charlotte blows open the office door and often belts out the first stanza and chorus of this song. Or if she’s trying to focus on a project. I’ve heard her dozens of times. I came across the song! I felt like it was an omen or something! I wonder if she’s bothered to listen to the whole song? Okay, good. She’s smiling. She socks me in the arm. That’s a good sign, right? Good! She DOES know the words! Maybe this will make things easier--maybe she won’t be so pissed at me.]

Sidney, why did you do that to me? (Charlotte is smiling.)

Because I “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg” in order to come with you. I was going to serenade you if it would have helped.

Oh, God! NOOOOO!

If I had to, I would! I wanted to get the message to you how much I want to be with you, withOUT you cutting me off. I believe the song says it all:

Ain’t Too Proud To Beg  
Written By: Norman Whitfield and Eddie Holland  
Performed by: The Temptations

I know you want to leave me  
But I refuse to let you go  
If I have to cry, plead for your sympathy  
I don’t mind cause you mean that much to me

Chorus:  
Ain’t too proud to beg, sweet darlin’  
Please don’t leave me girl, don’t you gol  
Ain’t too proud to plead baby, baby  
Please don’t leave me girl, don’t you go

Now I heard a cryin’ man is half a man  
with no sense of pride  
But if I have to cry to keep you  
I don’t mind weepin’  
If it’ll keep you, keep you by my side

(Chorus)

If I have to sleep on your doorstep all night and day  
Just to keep you from walkin’ away  
Let your friends laugh even this I can stand  
‘Cause I wanna keep you any way I can

(Chorus)

Now I’ve gotta love so deep in the pit of my heart  
And each day it grows more and more  
I’m not ashamed to come and plead to you baby  
If pleading keeps you from walking out that door

(Chorus)

Charlotte just stares at Sidney and he stares back...then smiles a little sh*t grin.

"Oh. My. God.! I may really regret this!? Behave yourself, Parker." Charlotte puts her own ear buds in and rests.

[That may have worked. She smiled, anyway!]

Sidney takes out a book and starts to read. It isn’t long until Charlotte turns and is sleeping on his shoulder. [This trip just got a whole lot better.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics for POV are not transferring in to format. Hope that doesn't get too confusing. I've not had a problem before and I'm not figuring out how to correct the problem so far. If you have ideas to address this, let me know--I have LOTS of POV to come and it's nice to set it apart from the other content.


	4. "Welcome"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte and Sidney have arrived in Minneapolis. Charlotte is already encouraging him to go back in less than a week. Sidney knows he did the right thing by chasing her to the states and wants to stay longer--through the Christmas holiday. Weasley, the "Notteh Kitteh” and Charlotte proceed to welcome Sidney to their charming South Minneapolis home.

It’s a chilly December evening when they arrive in Minneapolis. Charlotte steps away from the luggage return to make a call. “I need to make a call, Sidney. I’ll be back. Grab my bag if it comes, will you?”

“Yes. Of course.”

Charlotte is animated and laughing with whomever is on the line. 

[That’s one thing I love about her. She exudes happiness and friendship to whomever is on the other line. I love her laugh. I’m going to assume she’s solid and pragmatic when it comes to comforting and helping a friend or family member.]

“Okay. I read about Midwest weather and they said it would be in the 20’s-35 degrees but I take it that doesn’t apply to night time. What is the temperature right now?”

“35’. That’s not bad for Minnesota at night in December. Are you ready to leave now?” (Charlotte is teasing but Sidney got a little flustered.)

“No way. You’re not going to get rid of me that easy.”

“Well, my house is very close, it won’t be long now and we can crawl in bed. SEPARATELY! I feel that didn’t come...out...right.” (She laughs.)

“Oh, darn. My bet was on you’re a snorer.”

“Sidney…”

_________________

“Hello, Weasel-be!! Oh, I missed you!” Charlotte is holding her ginger kitty and snuggling. Weasley is ready to jump down with Sidney standing close by. He twists and wrangles until he can get down and runs under the dining room table.

“That’s my cat. He’s 13 pounds of long fluffy orange hair. He acts kinda weird until he gets used to strangers. Soon he’ll be begging you to play with him.”

“Charlotte, this is a really beautiful home.”

“Thank you. I love it. I love the 1920’s Tudor. Coved mouldings. Natural woodwork. Hardwood floors and arches. It’s comfortable. It’s 4 bedroom, three baths. I’ve lived here 10 years.”

“Well, it is really nice. Very homey. How did you take care of it all this while that you were gone?” 

“I had house sitters. They’re actually friends of mine so that works out well. Pardon my lack of a couch. It’s getting reupholstered. I should be able to get it within the next few days. Meanwhile we can fight over the one arm chair or have a picnic here on the rug.” 

“That works, sounds like fun! You never seem to bore me Charlotte.”

“Oh, interesting. I can’t say the same of YOU!” (She gets a good laugh about that.)

“I walked right into that! I need to get my spidey senses working.” (They both smile.)

“Here, let me show you where you’ll be staying so you can get settled in. (They walk downstairs to the basement.). This is my apartment that I rent out. I don’t have a tenant when I’m gone so this should work perfectly for you. Your bedroom is through those French doors. This obviously is your living room. The fireplace works. You have a full kitchen and laundry and ¾ bath.” 

“Were you the one to finish this space? Put in the hardwood floors? Yes. Finished it up about 5 years ago—it’s all new. There’s craft beer in the fridge. I’ll see what I have for vodka—it won’t be top shelf, I’m sure.” (Charlotte winks.)

“Why don’t you get settled. I need to catch up on a few things. I’m sure there are business items in that pile of mail. And let’s figure out what to eat. Are you hungry?”

“Yes. I could use something.”

“How hungry are you?”

“Actually, kinda hungry.”

“Okay. Does Boeuf Bolognese sound good to you?”

“Uhhh, sure. You can interpret that for me, right? Is it French?”

“Ahhh, very good! You’re learning! It’s basically red sauce, carrots, celery, garlic and red wine with meat (beef). The secret ingredient is milk. So it's a fancy way of saying red tomato sauce with meat. Does that sound good to you? I’ll see what kind of pasta I have. May only be spaghetti. 

“Sounds great! Thanks!”

“Okay, I’ll go get that started. Can I get you anything right off?”

“No. Not that I can think of.”

“There are toiletries for you in the bathroom. Let me know if you need anything else. This is going to take me at least an hour if you want to rest.”

Sidney quickly washes his face, brushes his teeth and drags a comb through his hair in order to get right up to Charlotte and talk with her while she’s cooking.

Charlotte has poured a glass of red wine and is busy chopping onion, celery, carrots, garlic and browning hamburger. Meanwhile she has Pandora plugged into her stereo (on a James Taylor channel) and she’s dancing around and singing.

Sidney notes that she seems to know lyrics to every song! Charlotte just sings along and is enjoying being home. 

“So, tell me. Are you a cook or have just a few specialties?”

“Ohhh, that’s a subjective question. I think I should say I’ve got a standby list of 20’ish dinners. 5 or so breakfasts. 5 appetizers, maybe. Probably10 or so side dishes of fruits and vegetables. I can usually make sense of a recipe. You wouldn’t starve but my bench isn’t as deep as I need it to be.”

“How about you?”

“I have one dish I learned in college. Sausage, pasta and other stuff. I can do some egg things. I’m pretty pathetic.”

“Oh, I love this one!” (And once again she knows every word.). “Unchained Melody” by the Righteous Brothers. “I sang this in high school choir. That’s how I know this one. Isn’t it lovely. The words are amazing! The BREATH CONTROL is double amazing! I know a lot of older stuff because I have older brothers and my parents played genre and musical soundtrack albums at home. My mom always had Simon & Garfunkel on in the car so I grew up with many of these songs. My dad loved the Eagles. I never thought about it but I guess I DO know quite a few songs! I definitely was one of those kids who walked around with a radio to my ear and slept with the radio on. I just love music. Calms me.”

“Ohhh, ‘The Wedding Song’. I’ve certainly sung that one a few times for weddings. Old fashioned but sweet.”

“You’re a wedding singer? Really? What else can you do?”

“I USED TO be. I haven’t done much lately. I don’t have a lot of talents if that’s what you’re referring to. I’m pretty boring. Art. Crafts. Writing, etc.”

“Well, you have a talent for lyrics. And a really nice voice, I may add.”

“Why, thank you!”

Just then “Dance With Me” by Orleans comes on. “I absolutely love, Love, LOVE this song!? The harmonies are awesome and it just dares you to dance. Hold your thought, I want to play this again.” Charlotte hits replay and starts dancing around the kitchen. “Oh, I just love that! So sweet, isn’t it? So vintage! Mid ‘70’s maybe? What does it say?”

”1975.”

”Well, that’s about as ‘mid’ as you can make it,” Charlotte laughs.

“Okay, so here are your songs so far:”

“At Last” by Etta James  
“Have You Ever Seen The Rain” by Creedence Clearwater Revival  
“Sugar Plum Honey Bunch” by the Four Tops  
“Come Out Virginia” by Billy Joel  
“The Wedding Song” by Noel Paul Stookey [I’ve sung this one at several weddings, too.]  
“In My Life” by The Beatles [OKAY! This one I recognize! Couldn’t tell you the words to save my life!]

And you NAILED “American Pie” by Don McLean. Bravo!

“Really? That’s funny! I guess I do sing all the time. YOU may get sick of that Sidney but...my house, my rules. Let’s get that straight right up front.“ (She sends a wink and a grin his way.)

“Very well, I would love to be under your rule.”

“Oh, WOW...what’s your safe word?”

Sidney looks at her for a moment and then figures it out! “Oh, whoa! I can’t believe that just came out of YOUR mouth—Miss Self-Proclaimed Prude!?”

(Charlotte lets go of a booming laugh!). “I just wanted to see your reaction! Too, TOO funny! You should have seen your face, Sidney! That was GOOD! Chalk one up in MY column!” (She licks her index finger and makes a hash mark in the air.)

Sidney smiles and thinks about how RIGHT it is to have come.

_______________________________

“So, Sidney. We need to talk about when you’re going home.”

“Oh, come on! I just got here tonight. Why are you doing this to me?”

“Well, Sidney. I’m going home to Iowa next week to celebrate Christmas with my family and I think you should leave when I leave town.”

“I want to go with you to Iowa.”

“Oh, Sidney! NO! That would be a horrible, horrible idea! I don’t want you to meet my family—they’re NUTS!! Truly nuts and I’m not kidding you! I know everyone jokes about what their family is like but my family is TRULY nuts! I’d be embarrassed, frankly! My brother would be obnoxious, that’s a given. Full of embarrassing stories about me that aren’t even true. And YOU wouldn’t be off limits! He’d be invading your privacy within the first hour. 

“He’s an alcoholic so the more he drinks the more he lacks proper social boundaries. He can do that to me but I’d be MORTIFIED if he did anything to you. Don’t expect him to remember anything you discussed past 7pm at night. I’m not sure where we would stay. We could end up staying in separate places—that would be awkward. I just don’t think it’s a good idea and...I’m asking you to listen to me this time. I guarantee you you won’t be able to steal away in the back of my car.”

“Charlotte, please don’t take away opportunities to get to know you.”

“Sidney, please listen to me this time! You have 6 days here before you’d have to leave. That’s good, isn’t it?”

“No. I want to spend more time with you. My mission is to get to know you better. I was thinking maybe a month or something? 

A MONTH?? 

Like, through New Years ?”

“Sidney! HELLLLL NO! I would get so SICK of you by then!!”

“Charlotte, please. Let’s talk about this later. I want to spend this first night with you and not be in conflict. Can we do that?”

There’s a solid stare between them and Charlotte sighs fully.

“Does your cat ever make it across the room without flopping on his back?” 

“Actually, no. He has this submission issue where if he finds you threatening he’ll just lay down and play dead, essentially. He was one of 12 animals surrendered by a family to the animal humane society and I have a feeling he was #12. He was 8 months old when we got him. He’s been great. Super funny. He’s got some habits I need to familiarize you with but for now I need to be getting to bed.”

“Come here. I’ll show you the rest of the house. Are you finding everything you need downstairs? Are you comfortable? (Sidney nods yes.) [It's awesome space. Very comfortable. Could I maybe move UPstairs soon?]

“Here’s my office. Kinda boring. It’s an office.” Sidney beelines for the bulletin board she made. She took words out of magazines and did a collage. Charlotte clears her throat. 

“You will have plenty of time to check that out. This is my guest bedroom. Basic bedroom. Extra closet for me. What you see through this window is a 3-season porch.”

“And this….they walk up the stairs, is my master bedroom en suite. Sidney is all wide-eyed. The room is finished in knotty pine and is the size of the foundation of the house. It’s huge. There’s a ¾ bath (shower) and a claw foot tub.”

“Ohhhh, that’s big enough for two!”

“Sidney Parker! Stop! (She swats at him.) Oh, good Lord. I’m too much of a prude to enter into conversation with you sometimes.”

Sidney shrugs his shoulders and lifts his eyebrows--and giggles. 

“So, that’s pretty much it. You can see the porch in the morning.”

“Now, if you’ll excuse me I need to clean up that kitchen and get to bed. I’m hitting the wall.”

“Why don’t you let me clean up. One cooks the other cleans up. Alright?”

“That would be GREAT! Thank you. Let me show you how to lock up and make sure Weasley is in.”

At the front door Charlotte gives a lesson about Weasley and his infamous mouse trick.

“Okay, so Weasley can go in and outside as he wants, generally, except not past like 9:00 pm. He’ll stay out anywhere from 10 minutes to hours. If he pulls the 10 minute deal he doesn’t get to go out again. 

“What I want to explain to you is why he’s earned the title, ‘Notteh Kitteh’.”

Sidney smiles at that.

“He likes to bring mice into the house and they are NOT dead. He hides them in his mouth and is very tricky about it. (There’s a vintage glass paned storm door.) Make him look up at you before he gets to come in. Have him look up and meow at you. If he won’t do that, he likely has a mouse.”

“If he DOES get in with a mouse, he’ll drop it and the mouse will play dead for a few seconds and then ‘wakes up’ and goes running around the house and rarely does Weasley catch it again. It’s a game. I CAN’T HANDLE MICE, Sidney! They FREAK ME OUT!

"They’re my 'thing', okay?? For some it’s snakes, bugs, clowns...for me it’s MICE! Do NOT let him bring in a mouse!”

Sidney stands there with a devilish smile on his face.

“Sidney! Wipe that smile off your face! I’m serious!”

“Okay, okay. Don’t worry.”

[I AM worried! Argh!]

Now it’s time for the awkward “good night”...peck on the cheek? Hug? Kiss? [Oh, God! I HATE this! This is what I meant when I was explaining why I didn’t want him to come. I don’t want to have to think about shit like this! I’m trying to simplify my life not complicate it unnecessarily.]

Sidney is at the sink washing a pan so Charlotte goes beside him and gives him a semi-hug. “Thanks for doing that. I’ll see you in the morning.” No response from Sidney. [That isn’t enough, is it? Ugh! I hate dating games! What do I do?] Charlotte gives him a kiss on the cheek. 

Sidney, without hesitating or looking up says, “That’s better. Good night.”


	5. "Yes."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> December 15th - It's the first day together in Minneapolis. How is this going to work? Charlotte is still asking Sidney to leave in 5 days. Sidney is taking it one kiss at a time,

MORNING, DECEMBER 15TH

DAY #1

“Good morning!” Charlotte yells from her office. (She hears the Keurig starting up.) “I’ll be right there!” She’s trying to get something to print. [Ohhh, screw it!] (She really just wants to go see Sidney.)

She rounds the corner into the kitchen and is taken aback. (She literally sucks in some air.) “Oh, hey...now THAT isn’t fair?! You’re showered, shaved and looking handsome already this morning? How is that possible?”

“Here! This is Charlotte with no makeup, hair not done and in NEED of a shower! I think we need to go over the rules about morning protocol.”

“Handsome? A compliment? Are you sure you want to go there?”

“I guess...you look nice this morning. I’m gonna like looking at you the next 5 mornings.”

Sidney is making his coffee and sets it down on the countertop, looks out the window and waits. “I’m really hoping for more than 6 days.” He’s trying to find something to say that is meaningful and persuasive, [Well, if all else fails, speak from the heart.]

He turns and reaches his hands out to Charlotte. “Charlotte, may I hold your hands?”

She looks at him cautiously. She stares at his eyes questioning motive. Reluctantly she gives him her hands.

He looks down at her hands then stares her in the eye. “I want you to take the lead on all of this. I’ll just follow. Whatever you want or don’t want is okay with me. Let me know what you need from me, Charlotte. Please don’t hold back.” 

Charlotte studies his face and his eyes and begins to admit to herself that for YEARS (and that means y-e-a-r-s) all she’s wanted was to be held. Lovingly. In a way that makes her feel SAFE! [Can I even ask for that or is it too forward. "Please don’t hold back." Does he really mean that?] “Okay. I would like nothing more than to be held.”

“Okay.”

[Take a deep breath, Charlotte. You have to at least try to heal if you want to move forward.] “So...can you just hold me, Sidney? No ulterior motive. No agenda. Nothing sexual. Hold me like a friend?”

“Of course! Absolutely!”

She takes his hands and wraps them around her waist and she leans in to him and wraps her arms around his torso. She lays her head on his chest and closes her eyes. Sidney wraps her up and gives her a hug. [This feels amazing. Am I shaking right now?] “Thank you.”

“Myyyyyy pleasure!”

AFTERNOON DECEMBER 15TH

“I think this is the most comfortable couch I’ve ever laid on!”

“I know. Right?”

“That’s the second time I’ve had it recovered. I just can’t part with it. That is one big down pillow cushion. I have laid there many a time for comfort.” 

“It envelopes you. I’m not going to forget this.”

“Wanna share Weasley?” (Sidney pats his chest)

“Oh, no. He won’t get on you. You’ve got to earn that privilege. He’ll jump into the space without touching you and he’ll stretch out, literally BESIDE you, between your legs and the couch. Belly up. Paws stretched out, like a flying kitty.”

“No way!” 

“Yes, that’s how he ‘shares’ a space with you. He takes over. I told you. He’s the strangest cat I’ve ever owned but by faaar the funniest. You don’t have to call him. He’ll get up in a minute. Just ignore him. He’ll come up.”

Five minutes go by and he takes his leap. He doesn’t want to touch the person. He tries to leap right into the open space which startled Sidney.

“God, that scared me. I wasn’t paying attention! Oh, here he goes. Wow! He’s doing it! Oh, that’s so funny!” 

Charlotte smiles and gets up from the armchair. She stands and watches them together and she gets a concerned look on her face.

“What? What is it?”

“You’re growing on me and it’s only the first day. That scares the living shit out of me, Sidney. If you’ll excuse me.” Charlotte turns heel and takes off.

Sidney jumps off the couch and follows her to her office. “Nooo. Wait.” And he grabs her arm to turn her around.

In a bit of a panic. Charlotte says, “Listen, I can’t do this right now, Sidney. That is why I told you not to come. I’m very sorry but you’re pursuing the wrong girl. I’m not READY for a relationship and I don’t WANT a relationship right now”.

Charlotte is staring him down. Sidney is staring back. Searching her eyes for a clue. 

[I’m not sure if I’m seeing fear? Hurt? I don’t think it’s anger. What is this right now?]

After 20 seconds of looking eye to eye, Charlotte looks away.

“Sidney?”

“Yes?”

“May I have my office, please? I need to clear my head.”

“Yes. Of course.”

[How am I going to explain? I’m way too vulnerable right now. I’m needy and I don’t want to be. Having him near me confuses me. Being held by him makes me crazy, it feels so good and is long overdue. Yeah, where do I start with all of that?]

After 30 minutes of mental volleyball, Charlotte takes a big breath and goes off to find Sidney. He’s around the corner still hanging out in the kitchen so she’s a little startled. 

“Oh! Sidney, can you hold me again?”

“Yeah. For sure! Would love to!” He grabs a towel and wipes off his hands and throws it next to him on the counter. Then he opens his arms up for her. She walks into his arms. Takes position with her head on his chest and starts to cry. 

He wraps her up in his arms and whispers in her ear, “Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

“I’m an idiot.”

“Hmmmm, that’s leaving it wide open for me,” he laughs.

“How many guys hold their arms open for you?”

“Uh, zero. That would make me uncomfortable.” (Charlotte giggles.)

Charlotte laughs and pulls back and Sidney slowly dries her tears and looks in her face…”What is it???”

“Sidney, I’m just going to lay it out there….I’m a mess with you here… I’m so vulnerable and needy...I hate it! This isn’t me. I’m usually more put together than this. And the way you hold me is like...insane and amazing. I’m sinking here, Sidney, in a big way and that SCARES ME! I’m not good at all this 'relationship' stuff. And tell me, why are you so intent on staying with me?”

“Because I want to know you better. Because I want to continue to build a friendship with you.” 

“Why?”

“No. Not going there.”

“What?”

“If I answer that question you’ll run away to the other room or something. I don’t think that does either of us any good. At some point, Charlotte, you need to stay and not run away. I understand you aren’t there yet but you can’t keep running away.”

[Why? Because I want to marry you, Charlotte Heywood. Can’t you see how much I love you? I can see our future when I look in your eyes. I wish you weren’t so blinded by fear. Like the song says, 'When you see your unborn children in her eyes, you know you really love a woman.' That was me, Charlotte, when I looked in your eyes when we met and you shook my hand. Believe me. I didn’t want to let go!]

Charlotte just looks at him and considers what Sidney is saying.

“Sidney, at the risk of making things even more crazy...may I please kiss you?” [This is what I don’t understand about what’s happening to me right now? I just want to be with him yet kissing is as close as I can allow myself. I can’t commit to anything else physical right now. It’s called “survival”. I can’t be hurt again like that, never again.]

“Please do! No need to ask,” and he smiles.

Charlotte reaches up behind Sidney’s neck and pulls him in for a kiss. Another amazing kiss. Sidney is speechless.

Charlotte places her forehead on his lips. “I’m so sorry, Sidney. I never should have done that. As if things aren’t complicated enough. I’m sorry.” [All I want to do is be kissing you and be held by you and not worry about anything else. Just see where this goes.]

“Hey, it’s alright with ME. I mean...c’mon. Where did you learn to KISS like THAT?”

Charlotte giggles, “Who’s to say Iiiii don’t teach others?”

Sidney laughs, “I suppose, knowing what I know of you, that is a very real possibility.” They both laugh.

“I’m sorry to be so selfish like that and make this all about me. But, I don’t know what to say. This isn’t me. That kiss was very self-serving and I apologize. I’m not usually this mixed up. Needy. Iiiii...just don’t want to be...scared all the time, Sidney, can you understand that?”

“Scared of…?”

“YOU! My feelings for you! All I’m doing is setting myself up to be hurt. I shouldn’t have kissed you just now. Now I’m about to hyperventilate. (She giggles a little bit.) I am SUCH an idiot! You know, you could break my heart with very little effort, Sidney—or Iiii can do it to you if I continue to act so juvenile. Look, we talked about this on the plane, remember?”

“Charlotte, I will not hurt you. Except, hyperventilate? Really? (Sidney crosses his arms and legs and leans against the counter.). THIS I want to see!”

“OH, SHUT UP! Shortness of breath. Okay? Listen, you may not intentionally hurt me but...YOU can’t guarantee that you won’t. That fear is paralyzing me, Sidney. I don’t want to move forward with you. I don’t want to go through all of that loss again. That’s why I need you to leave on the 20th. Please.” 

“Charlotte, I want to know you better. Let’s take it one day at a time...one KISS at a time. He laughs.”

Charlotte slaps him on the bicep.

“Okay? Is that okay? Don’t write me off yet.”

[I am soooo going under. I can’t even dare look at him. I need to catch my breath.] She turns to face him again and just leans into his chest and lets him hold her. [I have wanted this for so long.] Sidney completely wraps her in his arms, envelopes her, kisses her on the side of her head and they stand there a long while.

“I need you to do a couple things for me, Charlotte.” 

“What?”

“You need to be honest with me. No white lies. Be truthful so we can build trust between us. Total truth, even if it hurts.”

“Yes. We need to do that or I can’t move forward.” 

[I thought so. Issue #1 for her I would think is trust--which means safety!]

“And I need you to be vulnerable with me. You need to let me in, Charlotte. If you hide things I won’t know what to do. You’re not going to scare me away. I’m never running from this, Charlotte. I am going nowhere. You need to let me see the real you. Okay?”

“Ohhhh, that one will be harder. I don’t know, Sidney. That’s just going to have to take time. That won’t come easily for me. That trust thing will have to be in place first. I’ll try. How’s that?

“That’s where we need to start. I need you to do that for me--both those things. And we both need to have patience as we learn things about each other.”

As Charlotte continues to hold tightly to Sidney’s torso she muffles into Sidney’s chest, “Is this guy for real? I mean, seriously...I’m a romantic mess right now.” She doesn’t realize she does subconscious talking aloud.

Sidney holds her closer and softly laughs.

“Okay, then…,” Charlotte quickly rubs Sidney’s chest [amaaaazing!] and clears her throat. “To change course...I’ve got a long list of Christmas things to do!” 

Sidney claps his hands, “Well, let’s get on it!” and starts to walk out of the kitchen.

Charlotte grabs his arm and says, “Thank you.”

He looks directly at her eyes and whispers, ”my pleasure” with a gorgeous smile and a wink.

___________________

“One of the first things I do is put Christmas lights on the roof rack of my car.”

“You what?”

“Like Snoopy and his dog house.”

“Are you talking Charlie Brown right now?”

“Yes. Those old-fashioned bulbs and everything.”

“Oooookay. Lead the way.” It takes a bit of doing but after many zip ties in a short while a 9’ string of Christmas lights are mounted to the luggage rack on Charlotte’s car.

“EEEEEEE! (She’s squeeling and clapping her hands.like a child.) I LOVE this part! It’s like lighting the tree on Rockefeller Plaza! 

“When It’s dark we’ll flip the switch and go for a drive.

“Next thing is get my ‘Christmas in a bag’ as I call it. Lighted garland on the arches and fireplace mantle plus front door decor. You get that much up it’s starting to feel very Christmas-y.”

“Then we can decide what we want to do. I’d like to have the tree up in the next day or so but, we’ll get it done when we get it done.”

“Basically, our night is flexible. Let me know what you’d like to do.”

“Wellllllll…how flexible ARE you, Charlotte?”

“Oh, God! SID-NEY! That’s a ‘9’ on my Prudo-meter!” Charlotte gives Sidney a shove. “The visual of that! Shit! Stop stuff like that! Gaaaa!” (She waves her hands on each side of her head like, “crazy”.)

Sidney just laauughs!

“Oh, and we also need to figure out something for dinner. God, we sound like an old married couple!” (Charlotte and Sidney exchange a look and then look away.)

Sidney looks back at her and laaaauuughs!

“Stop, now! This is getting embarrassing!”

“Okay, I think we should figure out cocktails first! What are you having?”

“Gin & tonic, please.” 

“G&T it is!” And Sidney heads off to the kitchen to make the drinks.

“Oh, and one more thing. We have a local radio station that plays Christmas music 24/7 starting in November through Christmas. With that and my 21 cd’s of holiday music you will be hearing nothing else. Just thought I’d warn you.”

Sidney raises his head and looks out the window. “So...I’m not going home on the 20th?”

Charlotte walks over to the sink where he’s working and hugs him from behind.

“I take it that’s a ‘yes’? I get to stay?”

Still hugging him she reaches up to his ear and whispers, “Yes. I want you to stay.”

No words. He turns around and pulls her into him, wraps his arms completely around her, kisses her cheek and then lays their cheeks side by side.

“Thank you.”

“Myyyyy pleasure!”

They both laugh quietly and Sidney pulls Charlotte in closer and tighter. With love and intention.


	6. "T 4 2"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> December 16th - It's Sidney's birthday! The two lovebirds are still trying to navigate the waters. They've never spent this much time alone together and that angst is beginning to show. I think he really, really "likes" her. Don't you?

“Good morning. Thank you.” (Sidney has brought Charlotte coffee in her office.)

“Did you have sweet dreams, Mr. Parker?”

“Hmmm, could have been sweeter.” He throws a glance to Charlotte who is working on her laptop and is purposely ignoring him.

“Ohhh, well I’ll send Weasley down with you tonight.” She smiles to the computer screen.

“Yeah, there you go...a cat that snores. (Charlotte giggles.) Guarantee of sweeter dreams!”

“And what is it you’re doing over there, Sidney? Checking out my bulletin board?” (It’s 4’ x 3’)

“You know I am. Actually, this is rather fascinating! What and why?”

“Well, it was something I did for myself over time. I found words in magazines that were just ‘me’ at the time and I decoupaged them on there. It took about 2 years.” 

“Are these school pictures?”

“Yes. Rather humbling. I was a child once, who knew?”

“Humph...I’m going to come look when you aren’t watching over my shoulder. What is this? Contestant #9? You did a beauty pageant? Whaaaat?” 

“Two! Life lessons learned.”

“My God, Charlotte. You are definitely a beauty! Evening gown. No words for that one. Bathing suit competition? I’m speechless! Wowch!” (Charlotte giggles) [Never heard that term before. I’m stealing that!] 

“And who are these children? Oh, boy! HEEE looks like a devil!”

“Which one?” (Sidney points.)

“Ahhh, that’s Mason! He was a blast! Sooo smart. 5 years old. Those are some of the kids I nannied. Talk about ‘life lessons learned!’ You work with kids day in and day out and they will change you. They are my best teachers.”

“What’s with the Hugo Boss man? He actually gets pinned on this board?”

“Yup! I’m going to marry him. He just doesn’t know it.” (Charlotte giggles toward the computer screen—ignoring Sidney’s reaction.)

“Hunh. Someday you’ll explain that to me?” 

“Maybe. That’s the fragrance guy. They don’t do as much promotion of the clothing any more--they don’t need to advertise his clothes, really. They’re gorgeous. Classic. He sells clothes more easily now.”’

“The Hugo Boss guy has been on my bulletin board since college. What? 14 years or so? They feature the most GORGEOUS men.” 

Sidney is raising his eye brows and observes Charlotte staring off in la la LUST land. [Okaaaay. Where is this heading?] 

”They have a new one each year. Just an amazing ad campaign—so sexual. I usually put the new one up each year but he’s been there two years. What do you think Sidney? So yummy! Isn’t he? [“Yummy”. That’ll get ‘em.] 

“You want to know what Iiiii think? I think the guy looks like ME!” 

Charlotte is gearing up to razz him a big one and swivels her chair around. She stops and takes a look at the guy and then Sidney. Sidney and the guy. [What does my face say right now? He looks EXACTLY like him! Sidney just doesn’t have the beard. OhmyGod! Is my face giving this away?] 

“Ub duhhh...Yeah, a little, I guess. Distant cousins, maybe?” Charlotte giggles and buries herself in thought again. [“I can’t even LOOK at him over there! How can that possibly BE?]. I hate to break it to you but your cousin beats you by a LONG shot. Now BEAT it! I have work to do!” 

“Oh, I like this one, ‘I’m a hot mess...and a masterpiece.’ I need to take time to read through these.”

Charlotte sighs. “Okaaay, time for you to go do something else. I have work to do. Hey, why don’t you get the Christmas tree out of the attic?!”

“Yes! I will do that! But first, have you had breakfast? Some food? Of any kind?”

“Uhhh, no. I sometimes skip breakfast.”

“Not anymore. What would you like?” (He crouches down next to her chair and lovingly looks up to her.)

“Really? You’re taking care of me now, are you?”

He stares her straight in the eye and says, “Yes.” A loving smile comes over Sidney’s face.

_________________________

“Sidney. I have something for you. I picked it up while I was out.” Charlotte has a bag behind her back.

Sidney sets his book aside, gets up out of the arm chair and comes to hold her around the waist. “I missed you.”

“You did, huh? (Quick, sweet kiss) I was only gone 2 hours.”

“It felt longer than that. And I had a hard time keeping myself busy so I hope you don’t mind that I went snooping.”

“Whaaaat? Are you serious right now? Sidney!”

“Just a little. Looking for photos. Your negligee drawer. Stuff like that.” 

“Sidney Parker! You better be teasing me right now!”

“Well, I love the black number. Will you wear that for me sometime?”

“Oh. My. God! WHAT are you doing snooping through my things?”

(Sidney breaks out laughing) “Oh. My. God! You actually have a black negligee!? I LOVE it!”

“Sidney, I’m ready to kill you about now. Maybe I should just keep my gift?”

“I didn’t know! I was just guessing! Really, I didn’t look! But hey! That’s...wonderful to imagine, really.” Sidney pulls Charlotte in closer.

“Yup. This definitely is mine now.” She goes to walk past Sidney.

(He grabs her arm as she passes.) “Charlotte. You know I was only teasing.”

(Charlotte is biting her tongue and facing away from him, trying not to laugh.)

He comes to the front of her. (Charlotte is dead pan.) “I’m sorry. I may have taken that too far. [Ya’ think? Nooo. It’s very funny, actually.] I would never get into your things. Except to maybe lay out that negligee for you.” 

Sidney bends over laughing.

[Dang! I thought I had one up on him!]

“Keep it up. You will never get to see this!” [I’m milking this. I’m so “mad”.]

Sidney sits back in the chair and is having a huge belly laugh about this. Charlotte is trying to keep from laughing….doesn’t work. She gets to the kitchen and starts laughing. Sidney can hear her.

[I swear to God, that’s a ‘10’ on the meter.]

“Sidney peeks in around the corner. Does the fact that you’re laughing mean I may enter this room with you?”

Charlotte looks down to hide her face. “I suppose.”

“Please don’t be mad. I’m sorry. I took that too far. I’m sorry.”

“No. You got me fair and square. Just remember, paybacks are hell! (She throws a benign smile his way.) So, come here. You have to kiss me before you’ll get your gift.”

“Yes, please.” Sidney proceeds to kiss her with a sweet, loving kiss.

“Let me show you how to do this.” [How far should I take this? This is their first (jointly initiated) kiss since that night in Sanditon. Ohhh, yeah! Paybacks are hell, that’s right.]

Charlotte proceeds to compleeetely seduce Sidney with her kissing. [As good or better as Sanditon, I’d say.] Passionate. Lengthy. Lovely. And then pulls away abruptly. Then she smiles a little s**t grin at Sidney.

“Oh, you’ve GOT to be kidding me, right now? Don’t do this!”

(Charlotte starts giggling.) “Oh, yes. I’m doing it! Paybacks are hell, Parker!” She laughs out loud, takes Sidney’s hands off of her and crosses her arms. She stares him down for a long, long time. Sidney is looking at her with exasperation. [This can’t possibly be happening. Isn’t this 2-way? Really, Charlotte?] After a while longer, Charlotte cracks a smile.

“OOOOO-kay, Heywood!“ (Sidney starts laughing and pulls Charlotte in.) “You know, I really like you. (He winks.) I should maybe even say I really, really like you! Tell me, how did you ever find your way to me? This is crazy! YOU are crazy!”

Charlotte says, “I really ‘like’ you, too, Sidney. Gee, did I take that too far?”

Charlotte throws her arms around Sidney’s neck and he pulls her in tighter around her waist. When they pull back from their kiss they just stare at each other. Contented smiles. Companionable silence. No words needed.

“Well, then. Would you like to see your gift?”

“Yes, of course.”

“In our family we say, ‘hold out your hands and close your eyes and you will get a big surprise!’“

Sidney dutifully holds out both hands and Charlotte places the bag in his hands.

“Okay, open them.”

Sidney looks quizatively at Charlotte and opens the bag. “Oh, Charlotte. Did you really do this for me? Wow! Thank you! This is amazing!” Sidney reaches to her, puts his hand behind her neck and gives her a grateful kiss.

“Thank you so much!” Charlotte has gone to “Grandma’s Tea Party” and purchased some English teas for Sidney.

“I figure you deserve some decent tea while you’re here. I know you like to take tea in the afternoon.”

“Thank you for this. What a thoughtful gift.”

“You’re welcome. Sidney, I’m sorry it took me a while to come around. I’m really glad you’re here with me.” (Charlotte smiles a sweet, sincere grin.)

Sidney places the tea on the counter, opens his arms and nods to Charlotte. They go into “snuggle” position.

“I love this,” Sidney says as he tightens his hug. 

“I do too. Mmmmm,” Charlotte moans with pleasure.

_______________

“So, explain to me the unrolled toilet paper. That isn’t YOU is it? I swear I’ve rerolled it 4 times today.”

“Oh. Guess who that is!?”

“Weasley does this?”

“Yes. When he wants his litter box changed!”

(Sidney starts laughing). “No, way! That cat unrolls the toilet paper?? I’ve found it on all three levels of the house?! All three bathrooms.”

“Yeah, he wants to be sure you don’t miss the message.”

“He’s waaaaay too smart! Scary smart, that one! I love this cat!”

—————————————-

[I must say….I like this. No, I LOVE this and how insane this is, 48 hours later?! Here we are. Sharing the couch. Feet on the coffee table. Weasley in between us and we’re watching “It’s A Wonderful LIfe”. My absolute FAVORITE movie! My Uncle George Meier is EXACTLY LIKE “George Bailey”—in banking and everything. I love it! Makes me think of him. I really miss him this time of year.

I also love looking over and having someone sitting with me. Not just “someone”. It’s Sidney, who pursued me all the way here. That’s so flattering, you know it?! I’ve never been shown that kind of interest, ever! He’s amazing! Face it, Charlotte. Not only is he amazing, he’s a beautiful man. Inside and out, from what I’m seeing. So far. You can’t fake that!]

I’m going to throw in a load of laundry. Want anything from the fridge?

No. Thanks. I’m good.

This is going to surprise him! Charlotte pulls out a Dairy Queen ice cream cupcake she’s been hiding in the freezer. A candle and lighter await. She walks out of the kitchenette to see an incredibly surprised Sidney. [How did she know?]

“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Sidney. Happy birthday to you.”

“Awww, seriously? Charlotte! I can’t believe this! How nice of you to do this for me!”

“Happy birthday, Sidney!” (They lean together to share a peck of a kiss.)

“This is so thoughtful of you. Wow! “ (Sidney turns to look at her and ends up just staring at Charlotte.). [I know what MY wish is going to be.]

“Make a wish!”

Sidney closes his eyes and wishes for the many birthdays ahead that he wants to share yet with Charlotte.

Charlotte looks at Sidney and notices he’s staring. “Everything is good? Do you like ice cream cake?”

“Come to me.” Sidney reaches over and gives her some major-serious kisses and lays back with her on the couch. 

Charlotte is LOVING it! [Meh, maybe half as good as me. Maybe.] She’s giggling.

“Sidney. Do you want to eat your cupcake now or should I put it back in the freezer?”

“Back in the freezer might be a good idea.”

“Okay.”

When she comes back to the couch he holds his hand out for her and maneuvers her to come back and lay right next to him. “How did you know?”

“I snooped through your billfold.”

“That’s against boyfriend/girlfriend code of conduct!” (Jokingly.)

“It is? Sorry! Is that what you are? My ‘boyfriend’?” (Charlotte giggles and makes eye contact. Sidney raises his eyebrows to her.) “Hmm, interesting. I actually saw your license on the dresser when I brought in more towels for you. Would you have told me?”

“No. It’s not that big of deal.”

“Ohhhhh, but Sidney, you need to learn...In THIS house birthdays are a BIG DEAL! That’s a joke, but it isn’t. I want everyone to feel special on their day. It’s really hard when your birthday doesn’t get acknowledged. My friends and family make fun of me when I say it’s a ‘big deal’ but it IS! Go without recognition one year and you’ll think otherwise. Like being away from home. It was lucky I found out!”

“So, you’re 35?” 

“Correct. And how old were you on the 22nd of November?”

“Whuuu? How did you know and why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because, your license wasn’t just laid out on the dresser, that’s why.”

“What? Sidney, what are you saying? Did you go looking through my things, for REAL?”

“No. I found out innocently, I swear. You had the date circled on your planner, with stars. I was curious.”

“Aaaaand?”

“I decided to look at your bio file that Tom had. I kind of pieced it together and how old you were, too. You’re 32?”

“Yes. You just could have asked me.”

“I think I liked the snooping around better! Suspenseful!”

“If you would have asked me I maybe would have cashed in that raincheck…?”

“For real? You would have?”

“Hmmm. Probably not. (Charlotte giggles) I always thought you were waaay too cute so I always said ‘no’. I didn’t need any temptation. Matter of fact, every time you asked me to do something I had some rejection rehearsed and ready to use. I thought you would get discouraged and give up but you never did! You even asked me for dinner at your place my last week there. Remember?”

“Yes. Yet another time you told me no. Claimed you didn’t know me well enough. That was cruel, Charlotte Heywood.”

“I was really flattered. Truly. But doing something with you alone? At your apartment? No. I couldn’t ever do that. That would not have been a wise choice. Look at our walk home!? Per-fect example! (Sidney chuckles) I weakened, in a big way. Sidney, can I ask you...were you very hurt when I didn’t accept your invite? Is that why you acted like such a juvenile, if I can say that?”

“Are you serious right now?”

“Yes. Of course!”

“Charlotte I was upset because I knew my time was running out and you were continuing to turn me down. If I would have known you were divorced I would have used a whole different strategy. You must have thought I was a player.”

“Yes, and the last thing I needed was a short-term quickie romance with...a player! I’m not the ‘love ‘em and leave ‘em’ type as you can now so clearly see.” 

“I’m sure you must have thought me aggressive.”

“YES!! And I’m not going to tolerate aggressive behavior any more. So when you showed up on the plane THAT was rather aggressive behavior, right? Would you agree?”

“I’m sorry, Charlotte. I didn’t think that through. I just knew I had to make that plane and hoped you would be on it. I didn’t know of your divorce. (Sidney sighs and then looks down to make eye contact with her.) I just wasn’t ready to let you go yet. ”

Charlotte stops her thought and just stares back. [Is that true? I can’t believe someone would care for me like that. No one has ever loved me like that.] Charlotte stammers in response. “I didn’t know that, Sidney. I just had to see what you were really like before I allowed you to stay. That’s why I didn’t want you to come! Well that, and the fact I’m an f’d up mess and I need to feel safe with someone before I would ever open up my TRUNK full of issues. I was pissed when you got on the plane! And that’s why I didn’t want to say you could stay here. There was/is just too much potential for getting hurt.” 

A smile slowly comes to Sidney and Charlotte. [You are blowing my mind right now! I can tell you mean that. I could cry!] 

Charlotte eventually says, “The song helped. (Charlotte smiles a big grin.) The fact that you figured out what the song was and went on to find it! Well, that was entirely endearing. You were such a gentleman on the trip, I had to concede. You were perfect! I figured I wouldn’t get to know you if I didn’t allow you to stay. Also, Christmas is so lonely for me. I don’t do ‘alone’ very well. Besides, I always thought you were incredibly handsome! (Charlotte giggles) A pret-ty darn beautiful package left by the elves on my doorstep!” 

[She brings a twist to everything! Never a dull moment.] 

“Anyway, this day isn’t about me! It’s about you! Sit up. I have one more thing.”

“First, will you promise me, Charlotte, I can make that up to you somehow?”

Charlotte reaches over and puts her hand behind Sidney’s neck and says, ‘“You already ARE! This is so fun, Sidney! Thank you!” She then pulls Sidney in for a “medium” kiss. 

“Happy Birthday, Sidney!”

“Thank you.”

“Sooo, just a little fact…”

“You share the same birthday with Jane Austin.”

“I do!? How do you know that?”

“Some stuff sticks with me. I can’t really say why? It’s close to my dad’s birthday? I don’t know. His is the 13th. Quick, name one of Jane Austin’s books.”

(No hesitation.) “Emma.” Charlotte stops and stares while a wide grin comes to her face.

“Very good, Parker.” (Charlotte tips her head to the side and looks him right in his eyes. She smiles, shaking her head in disbelief. He smiles back.)

[What the HELL?? Where has this guy been all my life? Seriously? He speaks well, he’s funny, he’s smart and I think he is, no he IS the best looking boyfriend I’ve ever had. Is there any fault in him? Watch your heart, Charlotte!]

“Tell me more about your birthday. Anything special? November. It must be cold here.”

“Not at home. I grew up 420 miles south of here. It’s markedly different. MUCH easier winters.”

“I was born on Thanksgiving. A holiday I know you Brits don’t relate to. (Charlotte giggles) Very special here. I always thought that was kind of fitting for my mom and dad. There were two miscarriages between Jason and me.”

“It is also the date President John F. Kennedy was killed in Dallas. 1963. Some stuff just sticks with me.” 

[Could YOU “stick” to me Ms. Heywood? Oh, God I would absolutely love that about now. Sidney. Sidney? She’s talking to you..]

“Anyway, I have a gift for you!”

“You do? You already gave me tea today.”

“Yeah. But that’s only part one. Here.” Charlotte places a small package in his hand.

“Sidney looks at her as Charlotte has a huge smile on her face.”

“Oh, wow. This is such a great gift. I’ve always wanted this XOX brand. Have you seen how this works?”

“Yes. Pretty ingenious design actually.”

“Charlotte, thank you. Such thoughtful gifts”. (He leans over to give Charlotte a kiss.)

“You’re very welcome.” (The gift is a spoon diffuser for the tea. Engineered to perfection.)

Charlotte and Sidney kiss and when they pull back they just stare at each other.

[What is he thinking? There’s a very dear look in his eyes. Is that meant for me?]

[I wonder what my face is saying. She’s looking very sweet right now. Can she tell how crazy I am for her? Charlotte, I love you. Would you let me in if I told you how crazy I am about you? Or would that scare you away?]

Charlotte’s the first to come out of the fog…”Would you like to make some tea now? Tea for two?”  
Charlotte starts singing the song, ‘Tea for two and two for tea...’ That’s a musical by the same title. For real. I’m not making that up!”

“Yes, please.” [Does she have a song for everything?]


	7. "Notteh Kitteh"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> December 17 - Weasley gets into mischief while Sidney is babysitting. And more... =^^=

“Hey...Good Morning!”

“Ugh! You’re way too chipper. Way too gorgeous for this time of day. What the hell? Did you get up two hours ago to look like that? Oh, silly me. You got up a half hour ago and have been drinking coffee for 20 minutes, right?

“You suck, Parker! (Charlotte sends a smile.) Didn’t we say no ‘getting ready’ for breakfast/coffee?”

(Laughing.) “Good morning to you too, Ms. Heywood.”

(Charlotte bats her hand toward Sidney.) “Phhh! You’re pissing me off, Parker. I don’t want to have to get ready to greet you in the morning. Go away. Bye-bye.” (Charlotte is smiling.)

“You’re all good. Don’t worry about it. Did you have a late night?”

“I did, yes. I needed to wrap gifts to take home and then got off on all sorts of weird tangents. It’s crazy how my mind wanders in the middle of the night. Sometimes I sit and write...write about people who are in happy places in their lives. Living vicariously through them. Ya’ know? I will say, my writing took a new direction last night. (Charlotte sweetly smiles and Sidney returns the gesture.)

“Okay, now that I’m nearly one cup down...Sidney, this is going to be a GREAT day! We’re going to decorate that tree!” 

“Let me guess, you have 250 ornaments?”

“More like 300! (She laughs). I used to work in a Christmas ornaments shop for my second job at holiday time. Spent a lot of my paycheck.”

“Are you serious?” 

“I am! Those two tubs up in that same attic space are the ornaments. There’s a third tub but we don’t have to put those on.”

(Laughing). “Really? I was joking!”

“Really? I’m not. And Sidney, it’s sooo fun! You put on the music. Make some hot chocolate. Pop some popcorn. And pull each one out...there’s a story behind each and every one. What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You are so real and honestly excited about this stuff. I love it! You make it sound fun even if it’s not!?” 

“Sidney!” 

“No, what I mean is—you’re contagious! I’ve NEVER decorated a tree but I’m looking forward to this.”

“I’ve got things to get done before we leave so I’m on a mission. Feel free to always say no whenever you want. Day after tomorrow is baking day. I know you’ll love that!”

“She bakes, too??”

“She is an EXCELLENT baker!”

“We do need to hit the grocery today. I’m pretty much out of everything. Want to come along?”

“As opposed to snooping around the house while you’re gone? Well, I’ve seen my fair share of grocery stores.”

“Oh, I didn’t think of that. You will be GOING!”

“Shit, why did I open my mouth?” he says with a grin.

“Well, make a list of what you want and we’ll go. We need to do some menu planning. I can’t keep winging it! Or, heyyyy….this can be your time to make a meal! Maybe?”

[Never bring Sidney Parker to a grocery store—without a leash! It’s very hard to keep him on task for one thing. He juggles the oranges and apples and fondles the grapefruit all in an attempt to embarrass me—which he does! People were catching on by my reaction. I could not get him out of the produce section fast enough! Beyond that, he wanted to try everything!]

“Sidney, we’re going to have to pace ourselves. Maybe 1 or two items.” [Sidney made it three items. He threw pop tarts in when I wasn’t looking.] 

[I couldn’t help but notice that this is what other couples do! (Sans fondling.) They come and pick out food together. They talk. They laugh. They enjoy each other’s company. When I was with Steve he refused to go with me. He was downright rude about it.

There are so many things like that—things he would refuse to do with me as a couple. It took 3-4 years to figure out what he actually was saying was, “I don’t have to be a couple/partner with you, therefore, I won’t.” Whereas my opinion was, “You do it because you have to! You do it because that person asked you to do it and you love that person. Non-negotiable. And it’s certainly not THAT big of deal!” (I did that for him!) That’s what being a couple is all about! And who’s to say grocery shopping might not turn into a new fun routine or tradition?? He was sabotaging our relationship and our marriage and my response was to hold on tighter and try harder. Why? Why did I do that? A waste. A total waste of my time when I could’ve been meeting someone else. Never question it, Charlotte. God has his plans.]

I was a FOOL in every sense of the word! Again, so wanting to be in love with my husband that I ignored all the signs. 

God works in mysterious ways, indeed. How did it happen that Sidney Parker and I should cross paths? Foreign countries, no less?! NOW look! He’s bagging my groceries! This is one of those times where I have to pinch myself. How did that gorgeous, sweet man end up sacking my groceries? This is insane! If you look at how long we’ve been together and the ease of our relationship, it blows me away! It’s very easy to be with Sidney. He makes me laugh. He cooperates on everything so that he feels heard and I feel heard. It’s about respect. Plain and simple. I will forever be grateful for the fact that he listens to me. I don’t have to have my way. I just want to be listened to. I’ve found that with Sidney Parker? Really?

Yes! He’s...prayers answered, frankly, and now the prayer is to not lose him.]

__________________________

“What are you doing? Why is there a towel at the bottom of my door? SIDNEY?!”

“Explain.”

“He’s in there.”

“Who is in there?`”

“Weasley and umm, it’s a WHAT is in there.”

“Sidney, what did you do? I have work to do and I need my office!?”

“Well, I didn’t see it. He totally fooled me”.

“Oh, noooo. Did you let Weasley bring in a mouse?”

(Sidney laughs)

“Not funny!! I hate mice! And you know that! Now it’s in my office. If he hasn’t caught it within a half hour or so, then forget it. It’s gone. Found its way into the walls and into my house. Oh, God...or it can be in my closet! Or behind my file cabinet! Sidney, YOU are doing the mouse search for me. Dammit.”

“Whaaat? Okay. Don’t worry. It’s just a mouse, Charlotte.”

“DON’T do that, Sidney! Everyone has something. It’s mice for me. If that mouse comes screamin’ out that door I’m screaming up onto the countertop.”

“Sorry.” (Snicker-snicker)

“Now, don’t! I warned you and you still did it!”

“No. HE did it!”

“You’re splitting hairs there Sidney. Make it right. And I am EXTREMELY PISSED right now!”

“Well, if this is you mad….” Sidney goes to her and tries to kiss her.

“Really? Let’s think about what you’re going to do next. From what you know of me SO FAR would I reciprocate that kiss?”

Sidney is just inches away from her lips. Charlotte is dead pan—not answering the question with her expression.

Sidney takes the hint and backs off. “Uh, no. I don’t think you’d kiss me back I guess. Actually this is the maddest I’ve ever seen you so I don’t know WHAT you’re like when you’re mad.”

“This. THIS is what I’m like when I’m mad! God! I HATE mice! I warned you and you let it happen anyway!”

“I’m sorry! I just didn’t see it. He’s very sneaky.”

“And didn’t I TELL you that, Sidney!?”

“Yes.” [Shit, she is really pissed! Over a mouse!]

“Okay. You want to hear my horror stories about mice? Well, here’s just a couple for you...”

“I don’t know. Do I?”

“So, yeah. You’ve heard about my two brothers that picked on me all the time, right? Let me give you an example. When I was young people were diligent about kids wearing their boots in the snow. We’re getting ready to leave one day for school; well, me too preschool, them to school. Anyway, I go to put my boot on and there’s something in there? Rather than stick my hand down to fish it out I dumped the boot upside down into my hand and out falls a dead mouse and my brothers totally lose their s**t and go into hysterics laughing. I was probably 3.5 - 4 years old. Okay, freak out number one.

“Number two. My beloved cat would sleep with me every night and for some reason one night she leaves and crawls back into bed with me on the pillow beside me, like normal. I hear a crrruuunch, crunch, crunch, crunch next to me so I sit up, turn on the light and she’s eating a mouse on the pillow next to me. Blood, guts, the whole bit. I was about to vomit. I ran hysterically to my dad. I don’t even remember how I got the nerve to get back into that bed.

“Theeennn...my mom had these birds in cages………

“Oh, God. There are SO MANY reasons I can’t handle this! I’m so PISSED at you Sidney!” (Sidney starts snickering and Charlotte walks over and slugs his arm HARD, like she would a brother.)

“Oouu! Now that HURT. What did you just do? Hit me like one of your brothers?”

“When I was finally big enough to hit like that it was a game changer with those two. So? I hope it hurt!”

Sidney continues to rub his arm.

“I’m very sorry. He throws an arm over Charlotte’s shoulders. I screwed up. And I’ll do what I can to get the mouse out of your house.”

“They always end up near me, Sidney! 2000 square feet but they’re in the room where I’m resting, chomping and scratching in the corner. Chomping and scratching—the most disgusting noise! I could fall asleep on the living room couch while I’m reading and there they are! Scampering in the walls! I can fall asleep watching tv downstairs. THERE is one scampering across the floor! They wake me up at night in my bedroom, ‘scratch, chomp, scratch’ and I can’t get back to sleep!”

[Okay, okay, Charlotte. I get it. Geesh! If I start laughing now I’m in HUUUGE trouble.] 

You just know if there’s one there’s actually two. If there’s two they have literally LITTERS in 21 days! My skin is crawling just talking about it! Don’t look at me like that. Some things just stick with me.” (Charlotte is getting worked up a bit.)

[Wow. This is a bigger deal than I thought. Are you perhaps over-reacting, Charlotte? Just a bit too much?]

“I know it appears as I’m over-reacting but everybody has their thing. What’s yours?”

“Bad-ass women that can throw a punch like a man. Those women scare me to death! I’d go up on a counter if one ever came around me.”

The two look at each other momentarily and Charlotte laughs. Her face has softened. She’s not fretting like she was earlier. [God dammit! You’re too damn cute. You’ve probably gotten away with things all your life because of your looks, haven’t you? I want to be mad at you but I can’t be. That notteh kitteh has fooled me twice over the years!]

“In all honesty, he’s done that to me too. Twice! Over 9 years.”

“Twice!? And you’re all over me like this?”

“In NINE years, Sidney. NOT 3 days! I just hate it though, Sidney! One he caught and killed. The other is in here somewhere and with this one now there are TWO! I think I heard one in the closet last night. So, I can be mad, can’t I? That doesn’t mean I can’t be a bad ass now and again, right? (Sidney does a hard nod “yes” in agreement.) You owe me a snuggle for that, Parker.”

Charlotte leaves Sidney’s arm around her shoulder and stands in front of Sidney waiting for him to open his arms so she can wrap around his torso.

“Please believe me. I’m sorry and I didn’t mean to do it.”

“I believe you. Thank you for your apology. Sidney, you have now witnessed me being mad. If you want to learn about me, that’s it. I blow for a while. I think whatever it is through and I quickly move to resolution. I don’t like being mad at anyone. I’ve already spent too much of my life in anger.”

“I can handle that.” [I love you so much I don’t know that there’s anything you would do that would chase me away. You call that incident ‘mad’?] 

“Can I kiss you, Charlotte?”

“Yes. Please. Show me what you’ve learned so far.”

With that Sidney rubs the side of her cheek and looks her squarely in the eye. [My God. How did we ever find each other? I’m so in love with you, Charlotte Heywood. One day I’ll tell you that.] He proceeds to deliver the best kiss yet.

“How’s that?”

“You’re on your way to 1st grade, Sidney Michael Parker. You’ve passed kindergarten.” 

“Oh, well...I’ll take it! How did you know that? My middle name?”

“I saw your license, remember? It’s a beautiful name. Thank you for that wonderful kiss. (They exchange a sweet smile.) And thank you for not yelling at me. That would have been an ugly exchange with Steve.”

[I want to scoop her up and hold her until the hurt goes away when I see that look on her face. Ugh! I don’t know what it’s ever going to take to soothe that pain.]

“Let’s start this rule, Charlotte. I’m not Steve and I never will be like him. You’re safe with me, alright? Don’t flashback. Don’t compare. Please...take me for me.”

Charlotte stares at Sidney for a moment of contemplation and then agrees. ”I needed to hear that, Sidney. Thank you. Somewhere along this process I need to learn how to not be scared. How to trust someone new. Can you please be patient with me? Teach me some things?” (She’s glazing over--again!)

“Come here.” (Sidney wraps her in their snuggle position.) After a minute he says, “I’ll be patient. You take as much time as you need. Remember, I 'like' you, Charlotte.”

They both laugh. They both relax into each other’s body. This closeness to one another is a very healing thing.

_____________________________

“Here is our Minneapolis Institute of Art! I love it here! I don’t think I’ve gotten through all the rooms yet. I get all caught up in some rooms. I can’t wait to show you!

“First, here is the sun made out of glass. Isn’t it fabulous! (It’s yellow twisted pieces of glass about 8’ in diameter--like a sun.) They have a brochure about it over there. They have some Tiffany stained glass, Monet, Serat, Van Gogh, Georgia O’Keefe plus things like textile art, Japanese and Chinese art and much more. You’re going to love it! 

“Where do you want to start? They say they have over 90,000 artworks here. Right now they’re having a photography exhibit that I really want to see. But we can do whatever you want. It usually takes me 2.5-3 hours to see most things. Are you up for that?” 

“Sure. Probably. Why don’t we find that photography exhibit?”

“Sounds good! If there’s something along the way that you like we’ll stop. Okay?”

“Yes! Let’s do it!” Sidney reaches down to hold her hand. Charlotte is grateful for the attention and smiles at Sidney. [He’s holding my hand. He probably doesn’t think twice. It comes naturally to him.

Oh, my God. I absolutely LOVE this! I’ve never had anyone interested in museums and art before! Truly, I’m blown away by this guy. I find myself waiting for Dr. Jekyl to show up cause no one is this perfect. Perfect for ME, anyway. God, thank you for this!]

“What did you think?”

“Well, I had no idea those water lilies (Monet) were huge panels! 10’ x 12’ or something, right? That’s impressive. I’ve always been fascinated by Van Gogh. What a life he led.”

“You know, they believe Van Gogh and Emily Dickenson were both bipolar. They were so creative but yet also went through very well-known bouts of depression. It’s interesting isn’t it? 

Tortured lives led to incomparable talent. 

There are many famous people who have bipolar disorder...”


	8. "Anger & Jealousy"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> December 18th - It's the first time of tension between our two lovebirds. She's right! He's wrong! That's just how it is! Hahaha! But it's never as easy as that, is it? Charlotte is starting to figure out just how much Sidney cares for her. She is reluctantly admitting the "L" (not "like") word. These two need to get beyond the "LIKE" stage.

“Good morning! May I ask for a kiss and a hug right off?”

“Ab-so-LUTE-ly. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Some days I need it more than others. This would be one of those days.”

Sidney walks over to her. “Why today?”

“I don’t know. Things are just piling on top of me. Feeling overwhelmed. I haven’t been sleeping well lately. Wondering if I’m doing the right thing in regard to you. God, I just SUCK at this relationship stuff! I don’t want to screw this up, you know?”

“First off, you didn’t screw up the first time. There were things in that relationship that were out of your control. Secondly, if you care so much, you’re well on your way to NOT ’screwing things up.’ Make sense?”

“Will you always be my friend, Sidney? No matter what?”

“Of COURSE! That would kill me, to not be your choice but, yes. I would still want to be your friend. I’m not going away that easy.” Sidney puts his hands on both sides of her face and gives a light, sweet kiss. Charlotte wraps around his torso. He wraps around her.

Silence. They stand in silence. Is there any greater expression of admiration? Charlotte speaks first...

“We fit together. Know what I mean?”

“Yes, I know exactly what you mean.”

_________________________

Sidney joins Charlotte in the laundry room and has a big smile on his face. “Charlotte, Weasley just pulled his water bowl five feet across the floor and then proceeded to dip his paw in the water and drink the water off his paw. Am I seeing this??? Does he DO that?”

(Charlotte giggles.). “Yes, he sometimes does that if you’ve given him fresh water. He likes to pull the water bowl around and watch the water slosh out of the full bowl. Then, he uses his paw like we do our hand.”

“Really!?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, my God! I love this cat!”

“He loves YOU, too! You two are quite the pair!”

Sidney turns and leaves. Charlotte turns to the laundry and smiles. She repeats her mantra, “This is amazing! I am so blessed. Please don’t take this away.”

____________________

“Okay, Mister! Let’s go get you a Minnesota coat! I’ve got a couple picked out for you to try. We are going to the Mall Of America. 300 shops under one roof. I used to think it was a rather large testimony to the gluttony of America until I figured out I can get everything in one location and be done with it. A testimony to the frenetic pace of the American culture. It’s really convenient. Just 12 minutes from my house.”

“What do you think?”

“It’s a real winter coat.”

“Does it feel good on?”

“Yes.”

“Well, this is the most expensive one, of course, but it has a few different features and this is why I went this direction."

1\. Zip out down lining so you take it out when you don’t need it at home and zip it back in when you come here

2\. There’s a fleece coat zipped in as well so you basically have 3 coats in one. You can zip all liners in or just the down or just the fleece. Or no lining--that’s a 4th coat. I think the fleece would work well for England

3\. Waterproof

Okay, tell the truth. What do you think? You won’t hurt my feelings.”

“It’s good. I like all the options. Enough pockets. It feels good. It works!”

“Okay, may I ask...can we not go see the other one then if this works for you? I know I’ll end up recommending the most expensive one anyway. I tend to do that. (She shares a smile with Sidney.) If you can afford a $100 more, I’d do this one.

“Sorry, Sidney. That’s just me. There’s a reason why things cost more—they have more features or it’s better quality materials. ‘Buy the best you can afford and that way you won’t be disappointed’ my mom would say. I think this will work for both climates.”

“You read my mind.”

“Good. We’re done. What color? There’s black, khaki, navy and olive green. I’m a black kinda girl for myself or khaki.”

“It’s between those two colors for me.”

“You have nice coloring. You could wear either. Try them on. (Dressing). Well, you are very handsome in that Mr. Parker. (Dressing). Well, you are very handsome in that as well, Mr. Parker! (Charlotte lets out a laugh.) Lucky me! My boyfriend is very, very handsome!" _[Handsome ain’t the half of it!]_

“Are you going to help me?”

“I’ve already helped you find it! Oh, that hood zips off and the parka trim zips off, too. You’ll want both in Minnesota.”

“Charlotte. I love it! What color?”

“Seriously, you look amazing in either color. Think how you’ll be wearing it. Do you have any other coats black or khaki? Do you like one more than the other?”

“It’s a dark khaki color. I like it. Done!”

“You can wear it out of here! Welcome to Minnesota!“ (They hug and share a quick kiss.)

“Thank you. I’m grateful to be here.” (Sidney stares an extra few seconds longer at Charlotte.) _[I’m here in Minnesota. She’s in my arms. I can’t believe it. Of course she continues to chatter. And all I can do is smile. I love this girl...so much.]_

“Are you open to eating at our neighborhood Mexican place?”

“Absolutely!”

“Margaritas it is! Oh, yum! Don’t get me drunk on those, Parker.”

(Getting on the escalator, she’s laughing.)

“Really? Is that a weakness?”

“Uhhhh…(she laughs out loud again) Yea-uh! Don’t take advantage of that now."

“Charlotte? Is that you?” (Charlotte turns around to see an old friend from Red Oak coming from the other direction on the other escalator.)

“Oh, my gosh! Pete! Stay there I’ll be up. (Charlotte and Sidney take the escalator back up again.) PETE, how ARE you?” Charlotte throws her arms around him.

“I heard the laugh and I thought that was you! I’m pretty good. How are you doing? You’re looking great, as always.”

“You are too kind, my friend.”

“Oh, let me introduce you to my friend. This is Sidney Parker. Sidney this is my good friend from home and fellow lifeguard, Pete Dimitt. “ _[I kinda love this part. When people hear his accent for the first time. Makes me proud. I don’t know….guessed I never would attract someone from a foreign country. And a British accent? C’mon, is there any more sexy?]_

“Good to meet you, Pete!”

“Yeah, you too.” Pete looks at Sidney again and then looks at Charlotte.

“So, what’s been going on?”

“In other words, who is this guy and where’s Steve?”

Pete laughs, “Yeah, something like that.”

“We divorced nearly 5 years ago. Sidney and I worked together this last semester in England. He decided to join me for the holidays.”

_[Well, not “joined” but how would a grown man ever explain that to another grown man? Just smile, Sidney.]_

“Are you still going to school?”

“It’s another degree, actually. I am done now.”

“Okay, how many is that now”?

“It’s 4. BA (Journalism with Education minor) MEd (Masters of Education Minors in French, Spanish and German) PhD in Linguistics (French, Spanish, German and Italian) my 2nd masters is in Architecture. So, I could be your Designer and General Contractor when you construct your office building in Western Europe!!? A weird combo, I know.”

(They all laugh.) “You always did take on a lot and got it all done somehow. You amazed me. What are you doing now?”

“I’m hoping to get on at the U of M.”

“I can see you doing that! Totally!”

“How’s Amy? Ellen? Anne? Your mom?”

_[I’m trying to be polite here but she would ask about the DOG if you let her!]_

“How about your family? Mom passed away from Alzheimer’s in ‘17 and Uncle George passed that same year. Scott and Mary are still in RO, 3 kids. Jason is still in France and they have a new baby. Dad, of course, is in RO. _[With his girlfriend.Ugh.]_ He is doing pretty well. _[Don’t get me started.]_ That’s pretty much the news.”

“How long are you here for, Sidney? And have you had fun here in the Twin Cities?”

“Yes. It’s been very nice, thank you. Charlotte makes a big deal out of Christmas, if you can imagine that. I’m heading home on the 3rd.”

“And where is home?”

“Sanditon, England. It’s a little resort town on the southern coast.”

“Oh, sounds nice. You loved it, I’m sure, Charlotte. Being near the water?”

“Pete and I were lifeguards at the public pool in Red Oak. He understands my penchant for water.” (Charlotte giggles.)

“Yes.” (They exchange a look meant just for two.)

 _[Okaaay. I think I’ve seen enough. Gracefully exit here.]_ Sidney reaches over and pinches Charlotte’s elbow--hopefully not too conspicuously.

“Well, Pete. It’s so good to see you again. I hope it’s not as long next time.”

“Me too.”

“Tell all those women in your family, your HERUM, that I said 'hello'."

“Will do.”

Exchanged hugs. Sidney smiles. _[I need a margarita and I don’t even like tequila.]_

______________________

“What is good here?”

“Margaritas.” (Charlotte giggles)

“Ohhh, really?”

“BEST thing on the menu! But go for what you want. Cerveza? But you aren’t a beer person, are you? No, not really.”

"They have a full bar. You can get whatever you’d like.”

“Well, I’m going to start off with a margarita, chips con queso. That’s chips and cheese. You knew that, right? I don’t mean to be a language snob. Let me know if you want me to cool it.”

“No. You’re fine. Can’t say I get much Mexican food in Sanditon.” (Laughs)

“Let’s start with that and spend some time looking."

“Great.”

“So, Sidney. Let’s do some planning for what you want to do while you’re here. January 3rd you’re leaving?”

“Well, yes. That’s almost 3 weeks. If I took off 3 weeks spontaneously from any other employer than my brother I’d be fired by now. (Sidney laughs.) I figured you’d be pretty sick of me by then. Isn’t that what you said initially? Like, didn’t you tell me you didn’t want me here past the 20th?”

“Well, I quickly changed my mind. Didn’t I? (Charlotte coyly smiles.) What if I don’t want you to leave on the 3rd?” (Charlotte raises her eyebrows and looks at Sidney. There is no teasing look on her face.)

“Are you trying to tell me something, Ms. Heywood?”

“No. I’m just...inquiring. (Small smile.) It’s not my place to tell you to do anything. Or assume anything.”

“Well, then. I feel I need to get back to work and plan ahead for my next visit. I had no idea where this trip was going to take me.”

“Yes. Me either. Its been a ride so far, hasn’t it? Exciting! Right?”

“Yes. MORE than exciting. This trip is changing my life, Charlotte. (He looks her in the eye and smiles.) I’m grateful just to be here.” (He smiles sincerely at Charlotte. No innuendo.)

“Me, too. Its been fun. (They exchanged flirtatious looks.) Sooooo, what is it you really want to get done while you’re here? Let me tell you what I’m wanting to do with you...I want to spend some time driving by some notable homes in St. Paul. I need to show you our Minnehaha Falls for sure. Am I burning you out on houses? Be honest.”

“Not at all. I’m surprised how many significant homes and historic developments there are to see here. I need to learn more of the history of this city in order to say exactly what I want to see. Maybe we could get online and see what the tourism site recommends…?”

“VERY good idea! I have my own set of must sees but I need to break out of that. And you still want to go to the Guthrie, correct?”

“Yes. I would love that if we could fit that in.”

“Charlotte?”

Charlotte looks up to see a Beta Theta Pi brother from Iowa State.

_[You’ve GOT to be kidding me right now! Another one? And aIl I want to do is hold her and make her mine. Another boyfriend? Iiii want to be the CURRENT boyfriend! Here we are, TWO in one night?]_

Charlotte stands up and throws her arms around this fellow. Just as she’s done with the other.

_[Seriously? This is NUTS! This is rather ridiculous--two in one NIGHT!? C’mon!]_

_[I was a little sister in the Beta house so I know most all of the guys I hope this 2 in one day doesn’t start something with Sidney.]_

“Dave! My God, you are a blast from the past! What the-uh?! What are you DOING here? This is such a nice surprise! I don’t think I’ve seen you since a Homecoming back when--in 2012’ish, maybe?”

“You are correct!”

“Another lifetime ago.”

“That’s for sure.” (Dave is eyeing Sidney.)

“Oh, Dave. Let me introduce you to my friend, Sidney Parker.”

“Sidney, this is Dave Saunders. As you’ve heard us, he is a Beta from Iowa State. Always one of the nicest Betas.”

_[I bet he was. I see the body language, Charlotte.]_

“Good to meet you Sidney.” (Dave holds out to shake hands and Sidney is a little late on the pick up.)

“Oh, yes! You as well, Dave. I’m sorry. I was lost in thought there for a minute.” (Sidney throws a look to Charlotte.)

“British! Where are you from in England? South?”

Sidney chuckles. “Yes. I’m from Sanditon. It’s a small town on the southern coast.”

“Dave and I were in Spanish courses together at Iowa State. You pick up on dialect when you study languages.”

“Yours is distinctive Sidney. It’s like having a southern US accent. Although yours is much, much nicer. Classic.”

“We were in the same Spanish classes until Charlotte started kicking my butt and moved beyond me. One smart lady, you know.” (Dave points to Charlotte.)

“Yes. I’m aware. She kicks my butt as well.” (Sidney smiles at Dave.)

“Okay...so Charlotte. You know me; where’s Steve? I can’t keep my mouth shut, as you know.”

Charlotte laughs. “Yes, I do remember!”

“Well, Steve and I divorced about 5 years ago. I met Sidney this semester when I studied in England. Sidney decided to join me for the holidays.”

_[Man to man...it’s not “join”. Just fake it and smile, Sidney.]_

“Okay...being blunt and honest here once more. I hated that he was with you. I was really surprised when you guys got married. He was sooooo beneath you, Charlotte. Sorry, but I never did understand that. He was such a hot head at the Beta house. I really didn’t want to interact with him. When I did, I wasn’t impressed.”

“I wish people would have told me these things at the time.”

“I tried to one night—don’t you remember?” (He makes eye contact with Charlotte and Charlotte tentatively smiles back.)

“Uhhh. Not really but I don’t doubt you did. Some things blur. Well, you were right. It turns out we weren’t a good match.”

(Dave reaches out and places his hand on Charlotte’s.) “I’m sorry about that. That’s a tough thing to go through.”

“Yesl It sure is. Thank you, Dave. That means a lot. You’ve always been a sweetheart.” The two lock eyes for a moment and share a caring smile. Sidney shifts nervously in his seat. [Oh! Great!]

.

“Tell me what you’re doing here?”

“I’m visiting my sister. She says this is the best Mexican. Do you come here often?”

“Yes, I live 6 blocks from here.”

“Oh, whoa! Good for you! Beautiful neighborhood! The Parkway. The lake. Really nice. Do you live in one of those picturesque tudors?”

“Yes, I do. I love it. I’ve been here 10 years.”

“That’s great. You did well.”

“Here you are!”

(The waitress delivers the order.)

“Thank you, so much.”

“Well, I should let you guys get back to it. Oh, but before I go, what are you doing? You said semester?”

“Oh, I completed another degree.”

“Good for you”.

“Her third graduate degree.”

(Charlotte laughs.) “Yes, Dave. You’ll appreciate this. I have a PhD in linguistics.”

“Really? You’re kidding!? Wow! What languages? Spanish…”

“French, German and italian. I’m a go for Western Europe.” (She giggles.)

“5 Languages? That’s impressive, Charlotte. Good for you.”

“Thank you.”

“And two other Masters. I’ve been a perma student since the divorce.”

“You always impressed me. I saw you take on a lot with campus committees on top of school but you somehow got it all done.”

“It’s called ‘no sleep!’” (Charlotte giggles.)

“I am MORE than impressed, Ms.? Heywood, is it?!”

“Yes. Feels good to be ‘back’. So in answer to your question, I’m on the job search now but I hope to get hired at the U of M.”

“I can totally see you doing that, Charlotte. You’d be amazing!”

“Thank you. You still with Proctor & Gamble? Yes! How did you know that?”

“Lonely single gal. Bored at night. Start surfing Facebook. (She giggles.) Certain people. I’m curious what they’re doing. You know what I mean?”

“Well, I’m honored.”

“You should be! It’s not just everyone, you know!”

(They both laugh.) “God, it’s so good to see you, Charlotte. You look great! Steve loses big!”

“You look good, too, Dave. Still great hair!” (They laugh and share a kiss on the cheek.)

“Sidney, sorry to keep her from you.”

“It’s quite alright. You’re the second one tonight.” (He flashes a disbelieving look to Charlotte and shakes his head “no”.)

“Oh, really?”

“That’s a whole different story.”

“I don’t need to tell you, she’s magnetic. Flies to honey. Guys are attracted to her. She’s literally like the girl next door.”

“Yes. I’m aware”. (Sidney gives his wince smile to Charlotte.)

“Okay! Enough! You two are embarrassing me!”

“Dave. You made my day! Thank you so much for coming over.”

“Bye, Charlotte.”

(Another hug.)

“Bye.”

“Okaaaaaay...2 guys in one night? Seriously, Charlotte!? How many are there?”

“Sidney, just ignore it. I don’t know why I’d see two of my friends in one night.”

“‘Friends’? You KNOW they’re more than friends. Iiiiii know that! C’mon. All you have to do is watch you with them. There’s a connection still.”

“Connection? Well yes, of COURSE there is, Sidney! Once friends, always friends. I will always have a connection with YOU! You know how that is. If there wasn’t a 'connection' they wouldn’t bother to say hello. Right? Forget about it. It makes no difference in our relationship.”

“Except...how many?”

“Sidney! What difference does that make, for Christ’s sake? They’re all just friends. I didn’t SLEEP with them, if that’s what you’re thinking. I will share this about Dave because you will get a kick out of it.”

The waitress approaches the table for the order. “I’m going to order for the two of us. Okay? So I want 2...Thank you so much.”

“Welllll, Steve quit school for a semester and I think this must have been during that time. I basically said ‘I don’t date losers. Get in school or leave me alone.’ Dave came up to me one night and said something like, ‘I’ve always wanted to kiss you.’ I mean comPLETEly out of the blue. So, I’m like ‘Yeah, right. Have you been drinking?’”

“‘I don’t drink, Charlotte. You know that.’ I kinda had forgotten that so then I looked at him and did the ‘you can’t be serious?’ thing.”

“Oh, God. Don’t tell me.”

“Well, this was before I had perfected anything--just good. Not great. (Charlotte throws her head back in laughter.) I’ve always been a person who believed in the power of a good kiss. But I don’t think he knew that about me. How could he? Steve wouldn't say anything, I’m sure? I have been over this many times in my mind...he must just have really wanted to kiss me!? Unreal, right? I must have been a disappointment.”

“You guys made out for hours. An excursion?”

“No. Here’s the deal. There’s this tradition at Iowa State when you go kiss your honey under the campanile at midnight--that’s the clock tower on campus. And believe me, 12 chimes is a long time! Anyway, we decided to go over and campanile and we kissed through the chimes and then it went on. And on. And...on. He said that’s what he really wanted to do and campaniling was just the start--the way to get me there. It was really sweet. So flattering! So, here I was, laying on the stone floor of the campanile!”

“You were hardly a disappointment then, if it went on for a while.”

“It was NOT making out! He didn’t lay a hand on me. He stroked my hair and touched my face but no sexual anything. [That was so amazing! I literally knew and remember thinking this at the time, that something so innocent and tender would never happen again for me. Precious memory, truly.] He’d hold me at my waist but never disrespected me in any way. And I had kind of said, “I’ll kiss you but I’m doing nothing else.” And he basically said, “I don’t want anything else. Just you. Just to kiss you.” We just enjoyed the most intimate kissing! Do I want to say intimate? Passionate?”

“I get the idea, Charlotte. Thanks.” (Sidney says in a grumbling voice.)

“Sid-ney! C’mon. SEERiously? Years ago and I’m with you, sooo, let me talk about something meaningful to me. Steve had basically left me. I was really flattered.

"Yeah."

"This whole thing just blew my mind! I will say, he was A-MA-ZING! How can one keep it up like that for an hour?”

“An HOUR! Just kissing? WHAT?? I can’t--DON’T believe that, Charlotte.”

“Believe it. I’ve actually often thought about that over the years. It was one of those 'feel good about myself' moments. Like, someone was actually attracted to me? Really? He was such a gentleman--proving it can be done. Other guys would not have done that for me. (Charlotte nods matter of factly.) I really admired him for that. He earned a lot of my respect that night. And he never made a big deal about it in front of others. No strange looks or teasing or anything. We’d just smile at each other now and again. Our little secret.”

“Now HE had a long-term, long-distance relationship at the time. He ended up marrying her. Maybe that was part of his restraint now that I think about it. Really pretty girl. I always thought she was really nice. He deserves that. He’s a decent, kind man and a good looking guy! Kind of a Ken doll, am I right? “

_[Am I supposed to know who that is?]_

“I’m sure they have beautiful children. I should have asked!”

“An hour?”

“Yeah, probably something like that--at least. Maybe more? Yeah! No wait! For sure over an hour cause the campanile chimed. When the other person is awesome…? Hey, take it away! I’ll follow! Take your time! It went from sweet kissing under the campanile to incredible…

(Sidney is looking out the window then back at Charlotte.) _[Does she not realize this is killin’ me? Iiiii want to take her away, kiss her...ugh. I must admit. I don’t want to wait one day longer. This is killing me. Join the conversation, Sidney…]_

Yeah...I didn’t have my hands on face technique yet! HE did! Dang! (Charlotte looks up to the ceiling, then smiles.) I think I could blow him out of the water now—or at least be a match for him. But he definitely outdid me that night. (Charlotte starts to remember specifics.). Uhhh, yeah. He did.” 

Charlotte looks over at Sidney and cannot help breaking out in a good, throw your head back, laugh!? (His expression shows he’s not amused.)

“It was very flattering. (Charlotte is squelching a laugh.) No one had ever looked at me like that, Sidney. Actually appreciated me, without knowing me yet. Unconditional in regard to just wanting to be with me.”

“Yes. I can relate.” _[Why can’t she see that in me, too?]_

“That’s incredibly humbling—and sweet. And gracious. I really needed lifted up at that time.” (Charlotte pats her heart.) “It’s not happened since.”

_[Not true, it’s happened twice, Charlotte. I’m sitting right here.]_

“Can you imagine the nerve that took--to ask me? Compleeetely sober. Iiiiii couldn’t have done that! And I was kinda overly confident back then! Yes, quite lovely, really.”

“I suppose. If you say so.”

“Ohhh, c’mon. Stop pouting.”

(Charlotte gets the eye of the waitress and lifts her glass for another drink.)

“Why would you be jealous of either one of these guys? I’m with YOU now. And we’re enjoying each other. This just happens to be a strange coincidence. These guys are from 12+ years ago, Sidney. I’m so different now. That was like my 'childhood' back then!”

“You know. That’s just it, Charlotte. I know they’re from the past. I know they are no threat to me but I can’t shake the idea of them touching you. Being close to you. You know how you say you can picture something and that’s what makes you act out in your infamous prude attacks?” (Sidney smiles.)

“Yes. But…”

(Sidney raises his finger to silence her.) “No, wait, please. I don’t even want to think of you kissing him. That’s how special those kisses are to me. I dunno. I can’t really explain it. I just guaranTEE you I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, if that makes a difference. And they talk about personal things between you…?! It makes me crazy!”

“I find that very sweet, Sidney. Thank you. Know that there is no comparison in kissing. I’m much better and my kisses are done with only you in mind. Okay? I mean that. (Charlotte reaches across the table for Sidney’s hand as she smiles sweetly.) Now, you will find out I have lots of male friends. I was friends with the boys way before I ever had relationships with the girls so that comfort level with guys goes way back. I AM the girl nextdoor. And I love that! That’s just me and I love being that girl.

“Don’t take it the wrong way, Sidney, but I feel like I need to say this up front in OUR relationship. I don’t want to have to justify myself for having male friends. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Sidney is sitting back in the booth. “Listen, I want to always be known as the girl next door. Please understand, Sidney. Look at me...no, LOOK at me, please. Thank you. (Charlotte sweetly smiles at Sidney. He doesn’t really respond.) That was my first identity, Sidney. I was part of a neighborhood gang growing up. I identify with that young Charlotte still today. Please….don’t try and take that away from me, Sidney. Or make me compromise in some way. It’s important to me and this will only be as big a deal between us as you want to make it.” Charlotte and Sidney sit in silence looking across the table to one another.

It didn’t take long and Charlotte spoke up (she’s getting wound up)....”NOPE! You know what, Sidney? I’m going to cut to the chase here. I WON’T be making significant changes like that for you or for anyone. I don’t know why I even put it in the dialogue because those days, for Charlotte to make all the compromises, are long gone.

“Listen, I am more than open to discussing your concerns. That would be great and I would really appreciate the opportunity to try our communication skills. But it’s a NO! That time in my life shaped me into who I am. I can’t get rid of that. I’m sorry but that’s the way it is. You fell in ll..ll..lliike with that part of me, Sidney. And the more you get to know me you’ll recognize that THIS is ME! THIS is a valuable part of me. This doesn’t feel fair, the way you’re acting. I’ve done nothing to warrant this behavior other than maintain a couple friendships. I don’t tolerate unjust behavior. You’ll soon learn that about me.

“I’m with YOU now, Sidney. That’s all that matters. Do you understand?”

Charlotte squeezes Sidney’s hand and makes eye contact. Sidney just looks blank.

“They tell me how special you are and how smart you are, and they might as well say you’re beautiful with a rockin’ gorgeous body that they’ve already touched. I can see how they look you over." (Charlotte sits back surprised.)

_[He really is upset. Am I missing something here? Is he really saying he’s jealous of my friends? That’s sweet, but…?]_

"

Thank you. Very much." (The waitress has delivered the second drink.)

“I know they mean well and are complimenting you but I don’t need convincing, Charlotte! I already want you! And none of that is new to me. I know how special you are. I’m discovering you for myself, bit by bit. I was thinking about this the other day...how I need to communicate my feelings better to you. You’re a great communicator. I’m not, ok?

“I don’t know, Charlotte. I’m so happy being with you. I don’t know how to tell you that? And, this may not sound like me but its been sheer happiness, discovering you. I can’t wait to see what's next!”

_[Uhhhhh. Wow. Good thing I ordered this drink.]_

“Sidney, I can’t even begin to tell you how flattered I am by what you’re saying. I’ve wanted someone like you in my life, who feels that way about me. You’re here! And I’m so grateful—more than you’ll ever know.

“Look..I want to share a thought with you. Charlotte squeezes his hand. Can you put that anger and jealousy behind you for now? (Sidney takes a big breath.) Sidney, I don’t know how many girls touched YOUR rockin’ gorgeous body. I mean talk about the ULTIMATE in touching!? C’mon. Am I right? You slept with multiple women, Sidney. I didn’t sleep with my friends. YOU did--and they were strangers! Just ONE of those women have touched your body more COMPLETELY than these men have ever touched mine, combined! Am I RIGHT, Sidney??”

Sidney looks down and doesn’t make eye contact. “Okay. I understand your example.”

“Please look at me.” Sidney looks up and sighs. Charlotte squeezes his hand and smiles.

“It drives ME CRAZY to know that there are so many women out there that have touched your (air quotes) ‘rockin’ gorgeous body’ before me. And I’m thoroughly pissed that you probably can’t remember any of their names because of your selfish behavior. (Charlotte tips her head and sends “that” message through her eyes to his.) You’re going to have to look at me, Sidney. (Sidney makes eye contact again.) You need to acknowledge this behavior. You are sizing them up because you have an opportunity to--they’ve approached us tonight. But they’re nice guys, Sidney! By sheer NUMBER of partners alone, I have more reason to be upset about YOUR past. I don’t need to see those women in order to size them up. I have a pret-ty darn good idea what those women are like.” (Charlotte takes a moment and sighs, heavily.) [Oh, God. The thought of that makes me incredibly sad. Why would you do that to yourself?]

Charlotte puts both hands down on the table and pushes back from the table. “WOOO!! Okaaaay! Yeah! I’m getting upset here and that’s not my place. I need to be done.”

(Charlotte and Sidney just sit and stare at each other for a minute.)

_[Seriously, I have to admit I think I love this man. If he knew that would he be so jealous? Is it even appropriate for me to say something? “We” haven’t been together long! I don’t know what to do. My efforts are failing.]_

Sidney looks at Charlotte again but then looks out the window. _[I’m a selfish jerk. She’s trying to kindly tell me that. Yeah, I’ve been a real ass in the past. I don’t deserve her. I know that, too.]_

“My point is, just because your conquests aren’t approaching our table does not mean I’m any less concerned. I AM! Believe me! The prude in me is ab-so-lute-ly HORRIFIED! It all goes against my morals, ya’ know? But I choose to handle that differently. Because all that matters now is you. Us! I can’t change your past but I can choose to deal with it and focus on our future.”

“I want you to still feel sheer happiness as you discover me bit by bit. That’s the sweetest thing I think anyone has ever said about me, Sidney. Thank you. (Sidney now is making eye contact.) I don’t want you to feel scolded. I just want to communicate, clearly, how I feel. Do you? Do you feel scolded? Or belittled? Shamed? Any number of those emotions that undermine couples and their hope-filled friendships? I need you to tell me if you do.”

“Excuse me. I’m sorry. I just wanted to apologize that the food is taking so long. I will get it out to you as soon as it comes up. Is there anything I can get you while you’re waiting?”

“I will take another margarita when the food comes." _[I shouldn’t but I’m going to. I deserve it! Yeesh!]_ Sidney?” (He nods no.)

“Alright. My apologies.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it! It’s not your fault. The kitchen got behind due to some mistake of their own making but it makes you look bad.”

The waitress looks at Charlotte and smiles. “Yes, something like that!”

“I get it! No explanation needed. I waited tables for 10 years. It’s all good.”

“Thank you for understanding.”

“For sure!” (Charlotte gives her a “no biggy” wave.)

Sidney does a soft, short laugh and rubs his hands up and down his thighs while looking outside. “No. I don’t feel any of those things. I feel like damn, she is so good at communicating AND kissing. I wish I could do that!” (He gives a wince smile to Charlotte.)

“Both can be learned.” Charlotte smiles and reaches for his hand once again. Sidney is now smiling.

“I’m going to try this again...Charlotte, I have never felt this way about anyone before in my LIFE! I can’t explain my behavior except it IS childish jealousy. I apologize for that and I will try to do better in the future. Instead, I should be proud you’ve maintained friendships and that you mean so much to others. And I’m happy to be with someone like that. I have no right to ask you to change or give up something, Charlotte. I won’t be doing that. I know you’re not going to put up with that anyway. (Sidney makes direct eye contact and the two smile at one another.) You have every right to be mad at me for that behavior, too.

“I have to be honest. I feel like we, us together, are too good to be true and I’m afraid of losing you. There’s a fear you’ll leave again. You just...LEAVE! There’s no trace of you! That’s a very helpless feeling for me. Or you’ll say you just want to be my friend and nothing else. That KILLED me this morning when you mentioned that, Charlotte! I have to be honest. Maybe that has fed into my insecurity tonight.”

“I suppose describing things with Dave wasn’t helpful, either. I’m sorry, I didn’t think it would upset you until I saw your reaction just now--too late. I guess I didn’t know you LIIIIIIKE me so much?! (Charlotte smiles a sweet smile to Sidney and crosses over to his side of the booth. “You’re not going to lose me Sidney. I LIIIKE you too much.” Charlotte giggles and kisses his cheek. Sidney has her head in the elbow crook of his arm that’s over Charlotte’s shoulders. He pulls her in and kisses her forehead. Charlotte lays her head on his neck and shoulder.

“I LIIIKE you so much, Charlotte, it’s overwhelming me.”

“I know exactly what you mean.”

_____________________

“Ohhhhhh. I shouldn’t have had that last margarita! I’m going to pay for this tomorrow. (Charlotte is definitely buzzed.) Stop looking at me like that, Sidney. I know I drank too much.”

Sidney is smirking. He’s loving seeing Charlotte a bit buzzed. _[A bit vulnerable, maybe? In a good way. Every bit as beautiful as always. I mean...Christ. I just want to be with her. That’s becoming truly overwhelming. Our whole relationship is emotion overload as far as I’m concerned!]_

“Will you hold me, Sidney?”

“Sure. Of course. Join me.” Charlotte sits down next to Sidney on the couch and snuggles in. She swings both legs between Sidney’s so she can wrap an arm around his waist and lay her head on his chest. She reaches over and laces fingers with Sidney’s hand. There’s silence between them.

 _[I’m not going to wreck this moment by blabbing but I would love to hear his voice about now.]_ Within a matter of seconds he has moved Charlotte and laid her out on the couch and he lays on top of her.

“Are you taking advantage of me, Sidney Parker?” (She’s totally teasing and giggling.) _[That would be amazing but I could never go there. I will majorly tease him about it, however!]_

“Oh, could you just not have said that?”(Sidney sits right up and runs his fingers through his hair.)

_[Too damn funny! He IS a sweet guy. I shouldn’t tease, but...c’mon!]_

(Sidney is ringing his hands.) “I don’t mean to, Charlotte. I just want to be with you. I thought maybe you wanted it too? And when girls are buzzed they’re usually...uh...horny! Soooo?” (Now Sidney starts to laugh, loudly.)

“Oh, my God! ‘Horny’? That term is straight out of high school. Stop! That conjures up many a scenario from those days...stupid, STUPID days! HorMONal days! Does everything have to be sexual with guys? I don’t get it. Sidney, there’s NO WAY I’m having sex with you after just 3 days in my life--in terms of dating life! 3 days on my ‘potential’ radar. That just is NOT going to happen! Wrong girl!”

“That ‘discovery’ process about me that you spoke of, which has got to be one of the dearest things anyone has ever said to me, by the way; that’s not going to happen physically within 3 days. You need to know that a whole lot of groundwork needs laid before anything is going to happen between us. That’s just me. I understand you have experience to the contrary [no kidding?] but… those are my rules. And I am certainly NOT like those other women. And I am certainly NOT going to compromise my morals.”

_[Well, that’s pretty clear. She’s a strong woman and she is NOT like any other woman I’ve known. She gets what she wants and gets rid of what she DOESN’T want!]_

__

“Boy, you aren’t buzzed enough to be out of it at all, are you, Ms. Heywood?”

__

_[Still firing on all cylinders. DAMN!_ (Sidney laughs again.) _I will do whatever it takes to be with her.]_

“I’m buzzed enough to want a beautiful man to lay with me so I can be close to him. So I can let him know I care for him. Very much. Would that satisfy him enough? I would love to share a kiss or 30, as well….? Or should we just drop it for now?”

“Oh, man. I don’t know. And I mean that sincerely. It would be very hard to not go farther with you. I’m not Dave. I’m not a gentleman. I don’t even pretend to be. More power to those guys, really.”

“How could it be hard to not go further if you’re not ALLOWED to go further? I’m just sayin’... (Charlotte smiles sweetly to Sidney.) Sidney, why don’t you come lay down here and I’ll run the show. You just enjoy. You go up my shirt or down my pants and this is over. (Charlotte is laughing heartily now.) There will be a time when intimacy happens but not in 3 days’ time. This prude just can’t do that. Sorry. Sooo not sorry.”

“Yes or no? I need to get to bed otherwise. What is your answer?”

“I’m going to have to say…”

Just then Charlotte sits up and turns his face toward her and lays a fabulous, sexy kiss on him. Sidney is surprised and is somewhat taken aback. He visibly shivers.

“Aaaand? Your decision is…?”


	9. "Minnehaha"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> December 19th - The friendship between Charlotte and Sidney continues to grow. Hard to believe they've only been together 5 days! They are getting very comfortable with one another now. They enjoy teasing each other most of all. Charlotte is being the tour guide as the couple explores Minneapolis and St. Paul. We're still waiting for the "love" not "liiiike" word. If only gazes could speak... They're off, driving "6 Hours" to Iowa tomorrow.

Today is baking day! Sidney is walking in and out of the kitchen, sampling. He’s in the office trying to get some emails done when he decides to sneak in a FaceTime with Babs.

“Hey, how ya’ doin?”

“I’m good. All good.”

“How’s it going over there in the ol’ US of A?”

“It’s better than I thought it would be!”

“Are you talking Charlotte or the US?”

Sidney laughs, “Both!”

“Well, what’s going on with you two? Any news?”

“No, other than I’ll be staying here for Christmas, maybe even New Year.”

“Now how did you manage THAT? I thought she was sending you home tomorrow or within the next few days.”

“I was able to convince her otherwise.”

“Well then, what does this mean? Are you guys a couple then?”

“No. Just friends.”

“Sidney, come on...that has NE-VER happened with you before. And honestly, I don’t believe you.”

“She has her boundaries, Babs and frankly, I’m good with it! I’ll do whatever it takes to be with her.”

“So, let me get this straight, are you really planning on marrying, Charlotte?”

“There’s a loooong way to go before that!”

“What I mean is, you told me you were wanting to marry her—the very first day you met her. You’re making that happen. Aren’t you?! “

“In 2 weeks or less. Yes.”

“Well, let’s hear how this is going to happen…”

“Well, I’m heading home with her to Iowa tomorrow.. I’m going to meet her friends. Her family. Hopefully they’ll like me. I get 12 hours, round trip, in the car with Charlotte. THAT should be good. She can’t run away from me anyway!”

“Has she been doing that still?”

“No. She’s staying put. She’ll take walks or goes to another room in the house now and then but she’s been good. I do feel I gotta keep an eye on her though, as things are heating up, if you want to call it that. She’s getting kinda skiddish. She’s been hurt so badly in the past. I feel sorry about that. She’s such a genuinely NICE person.”

“Well, remember the night we were together in the night club and I said SHE had a hold over YOU…? I see it in your face. Now more so than ever. Do you realize you’re like, glowing, Sidney?”

“What? I am? Really?”

“Oh, good God, man! Seriously. Look in the mirror! Have you told her you loved her yet?” 

“Uh, no. I think she would compleeetely freak out.”

“Or maybe it’s what she needs to hear at this point. I don’t know. Just a suggestion. Sidney, I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks. Yeah. This is so different from other relationships.”

“Uhhh, Sidney. If you will pardon me saying, those other hook ups were NOT “relationships”. You’ve had a fear of commitment, too and probably because none of those women held your interest. I never thought ANY of the others were an equal to you. Charlotte is. You’ve made a good choice.”

“Yeah, thanks, man. That means a lot.”

“So, keep me posted.”

“I will. We’ll call for Christmas. Is Marcus with you guys that day? I want to touch base with him.”

“Yes. We’re having over a girl from Esther’s work, too. You never know?!”

“Ahhh! I look forward to the update.”

“Talk soon, then.”

“Send love to Esther.”

“Will do. Take care!”

“Hey, you too!”

  
  
  


“Okay, I think these peanut butter ones with the chocolate stars in the middle are my favorite. The bars with coconut are delicious, too. And these ginger cookies? Amazing!”

“Those are for my dad. He loves my ginger cookies.”

“I’m debating on making candy. My mom always made the candy and I did the baking. Is it going to make me feel better or worse?"

“What did Babs have to say? I guess you were telling the truth about love at first sight.” (Charlotte turns to look at Sidney and smiles.)

“WHAAAAAT?? Come here! (Sidney pulls her into him.). Were you eaves dropping, Ms. Heywood?” Charlotte looks out of the top of her eyes at Sidney and he starts to tickle her.

“Oh! No! No! Stop! I’m sorry! I heard talking. That’s not doing emails! Right? 

Sidney, stop tickling me! I didn’t do it on purpose!”

“Oh, right. You just happened to be in the hallway? (He continues to tickle her.) And you didn’t step away when you realized it wasn’t your business? How much did you hear of my PRIVATE conversation, huh?”

“STOP! I can’t breathe! (Sidney lets up long enough for Charlotte to catch her breath and speak.) I didn’t hear much other than the love at first sight stuff. Except, look at me. Look me straight on….yes, you’re definitely GLOWING!” (Charlotte bursts out laughing.)

“Oh, that’s it! No mercy!”

_________________________

  
  


“Oh, look at you two!? My two favorite males are bonding. I need a picture of this!”

Sidney is stretched out on the living room sofa and Weasley has come up and stretched out on his torso, like a sphinx. (Leaning slightly to the side so he can lay his head down.)

Charlotte comes to pet Weasley and he starts purring loudly. “He purrs almost as loud as he snores!”

Charlotte kneels down and runs her fingers through Sidney’s hair.  _ [I love this. I think I have a fetish for curly brown hair or something.]  _ (She smiles and kisses his forehead and then his lips and rubs his cheek.) “Heyyy.”

“Heyyy.” 

“You’re melting my heart right now, you know. If he likes you, I like you. You’ve passed the Weasley test.” (Charlotte giggles.)

“Have I passed Charlotte’s test?”

“Ohhhh, that’s a loaded question? Do I think you’re in first place? Yes. I’d say you’re in first place but there are still laps to go.” (She smiles sweetly to Sidney and strokes his face.)

“Oh, really? (Sidney moved enough that Weasley jumps off.) Sidney then props his head up and turns sideways to face Charlotte.

“Uh-hum. I’d say so. Congratulations! (Charlotte giggles). Welcome to the f’d up life of Charlotte Heywood. Your seat cushion doubles as a life preserver.” (She makes eye contact with Sidney and they both laugh.) 

“Half human! I swear that cat has a human spirit in there somewhere! You wouldn't miss him would you, Charlotte?”

“Did you know I’m a really good shot?!” 

“Whaaaat??!!” 

“I’m TEASING! But I AM a good shot if you ever need it. <wink> You’re safe. I still LIIIIKE you. My cat is off limits!” 

“Just watch your back!”

____________________________________ 

“Okay, what is that you’re eating?”

“It’s cottage cheese, canned mushrooms and dill pickles. Wanna try some.”

“Uhhh, NO! That stuff stinks. Go stand over there. Gaaahh, Charlotte! How many more things like that do you eat?”

“Well, I have a few more but I’ll wait until you’re not expecting it.”

“You’re on your own for lunch, Parker. You’re becoming a member of the household. There won’t be many more favors. Ahh! Ahh! DON’T say it!” (Charlotte holds her finger up to Sidney with a smile.)

“I’m slowing down...you got to that waaay ahead of me!”  _ [I think I got hung up on “member of the household.” What does that mean? I like the way that sounds.] _

_________________________________

  
  


“This is the historic Minnnehaha Falls.”

“How far are we from your house?”

“Just over two miles.”

“Now THIS...is very cool.”

“The statue is from the poem, “The Song of Hiawatha” by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. That’s Minnehaha and Hiawatha. The Minnehaha falls was a big tourist attraction at the turn of the century. I have some old tourist postcards from that era—some have writing on them. It’s fascinating! Over 130 years ago! That’s crazy to think about it that way.

Now if the weather gets much colder the falls will start to freeze and that is gorgeous! Some winters it freezes solid. We’ll look at some pics on the phone. If you come with me we can walk some trails and I’ll show you the wading inlet. It’s a favorite spot. If you follow the creek it empties into the Mississippi River. I’ll take you there next, to the lock and dam.”

“Charlotte this is beautiful. I can see where I need to spend a LOT of time in order to get to know Minneapolis.”

“A LOT of time?” 

“Well, yes. More than I have time left of this visit. There’s a LOT to do here! I can’t believe it. There’s also a whole other city we haven’t even been to.” 

“I am taking you there today, though. Quick drive on historic Summit Avenue. Maybe do cocktails over there.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“You know, in the summer there’s a whole lot more, too! It’s fabulous here in the summer. You must come back. This time of year there are all the winter activities to do. Hockey, skiing, cross country skilling, sledding, snowmobiling, ice fishing...they do that over on my lake. Every year I shake my head. I just don’t GET that one. Sit outside and freeze your ass off to catch a fish. Alas, I’m from Iowa. I don’t NEED to ‘get it’.” (The two exchange a grin.)

“Okay, anyway...off to the lock and dam on the Mississippi then the River Road and then historic Summit Avenue.”

“Okay, here we are...this Avenue is miles long but is best known for these blocks AND our Cathedral! So I wanted to start on this end and progress westward. My mom and I bought a book and did a walking tour one time. It’s FASCINATING! Such wealth! The gilded age, for sure. Oh, I should have thought to bring the book! Oh well, we can look at home.

‘

She and I only got through one side of the street. If you’re interested...when you come back maybe we can do the OTHER side?” (Charlotte raises her eyebrows, questioning Sidney.) 

“Hmmm...are you inviting me back?”

“Yes! I have the apartment for you to stay in.” (Charlotte looks absolutely serious at Sidney.)

“Excuse me?”

“Yes, the apartment is always available. It’s yours when you come.”

_ [Listen, Charlotte Heywood. I’m not expecting to spend this entire visit relegated to the apartment. Is she serious right now? God, she’s so GOOD at this I can hardly tell sometimes.] _

“I’ll send down Weasley. In case you get lonely--need something to talk to.”

_ [Look at that face. She’s not flinching an inch.] _

“Now, here is the James J. Hill house. He was a railroad tycoon. The railroad helped shape this city. Pretty much like my hometown. Having the train brought a lot of opportunity to the city as well as exotic items and materials from the coast. The Hill house is open for tours. Maybe we can check it out. Now over there you can see the capital. St. Paul is the capital of Minnesota.

“Are you getting hungry? I thought maybe we could walk through this historic neighborhood called Cathedral Hill and grab a drink and appetizers at one of my favorite restaurants. Does that sound good?  _ [Do I see him glancing at me to see if I was serious back then. YES! He is! This is too damn funny! I’m going to milk this a while longer.] _

“So, some of these homes were the next tier of wealth, just off of Summit and you pull further back it’s where the servants and their families lived. I particularly like the fact that there are apartments around here. Aren’t they cool!? Turrets and everything. These buildings are 150’ish years old. That’s so cool to me! Now, the top of that turret there…? That’s F. Scott Fitzgerald’s writing garrett. Do you know who that is?

<“Great Gatsby”.

”Sidney! You surprise me! Very good. He lived just a short walk from here. I'll point that out to you when we go by." (Charlotte turns to find Sidney’s face for a reaction and he lame-duck smiles at her.) 

_ [I’ve got to see if I can hold it together until we’re eating. Ahhh! This is one of my best ones yet!] _

Sidney? Is there something wrong?

Uhhh, no. No. Sorry. Just drifting off a bit.

_ [Ahhhhhh! So male, isn’t he? Thank you my bruddahs for an insight to this behavior! Just a little while longer…] _

So here, a fave place to hang out for drinks. The patio in the summer is amazing! Sidney? What’s up? You’re acting so strange?

No. No, nothing. So, what’s good here? Sidney picks up the menu and starts checking it out.

I can only speak as to what else is good. Hot sex in the apartment. The bed is only a full size. Cozy and lovely.

Sidney is preoccupied with the menu. He pulls it down and looks over the top and says, “I’m sorry. What’d you say?

I think Weasley would definitely have to be excused. His delicate eyes and all.  _ [Oh,my God! “Get it” already, Sidney! I’m about to lose it!] _

Charlotte! Whaaaaat?

_ [This is great! I love it! He’s not mad or anything. Even a little embarrassed for his assumptions, maybe?] _

Yes? (She gets a shit grin on her face and just stares back.)

Did you say “hot sex “?

Yes, I believe I did.

With whom? (Perfect comedic timing.)

Uhhhh…

Here comes that Sidney Parker “little shit” grin. I swear to God, does anyone do that better than he does? So flippin’ ornery! Ugh! I lost this battle, I think.

Well? With whom? Who am I having sex with? Are you fixing me up then?

Good one, Sidney.

Not YOU! I guarantee you I’m too hot for you to handle. (shit grin)

Ohhh! Oh, really?

Yes. Most definitely. (Sidney hides behind his menu again.)

_ [Oooooo, so good! Where can I go with this?] _

_ [Oooooo, volley back to her. She’s getting SOOO much better on this sex stuff. She used to get embarrassed and back down.] _

“Hi, guys! Can I start you off with some drinks tonight?”

“Uhhh, yes! I think I’ll have a “sloe screw between the sheets’ and you Sidney? Would you like a screwdriver?”

Sidney just BURSTS out laughing and slams the menu down. “Oh, God! Seriously? Shiiiit, Charlotte!!!” (He’s shaking his head “no” in disbelief.) “Charlotte! Gaaaaa! Soooo good! So, so good! You win that one.” (Sidney just keeps laughing and looking at Charlotte who has a “so there” look on her face.)

“I”m so sorry. May we have just a moment before we order?”

“Oh, no problem.”

“Sorry. Thank you.”

Sidney just sits there with his elbow on the table, his hand under his chin and his fingers at his lips and just stares at her. “You’re unbelievable.” (Charlotte has a smug grin on her face and a gleam in her eye.) Sidney gets up and crosses over to her and kisses from standing position above her. He raises her chin and he has this "God I love this girl" moment when he looks in her face and sees her eyes and then bends down to kiss her. They part and Charlotte just smiiiiiles. 

“Thank you for that.”

“Thank YOU. He sits back down, still is shaking his head ‘no’ with a huge smile. He reaches for her hand across the table and squeezes it. Quite a bit of love on BOTH of their faces but not ready or willing to say it. Just staring...

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to all your kind comments, kudos and bookmarks...you ave no idea how much that means to me. I'm so grateful people are enjoying my writing! (I just LOVE these two, don't you??)
> 
> Yes! There is such a drink named “sloe screw between the sheets”. It is made with sloe gin.


	10. "The First 2 Hours"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte has always felt different from others. In college, more energy than everyone and able to complete many tasks at one time. Mind flies around soaking up anything and everything. Hard for people to keep up with her in conversation. Seven years ago she found out why...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bipolar Disorder Type II; Charlotte is crippled with guilt at times. Self esteem issues are a big problem for her. She has felt "less than" and "unloveable" over the past 7 years since her diagnosis. She’s lost her friends but was able to finally leave an abusive, loveless marriage from a man who didn’t want to acknowledge or deal with her illness. Now she's found someone who wants to love her and understands her as a person who is different but not defective. She has found someone who is not scared or worried about the disorder. Basically, completely accepting of Charlotte, where she is in her journey and understands her disorder. How can Sidney be so incredibly perfect? She's "in like" with him very, very much and falling in love head first! (And she didn't want him to come...?)

“So how far is this place?”

“It’s about 6 HOURS!! A little more if we want to take a potty break.”

“A what?” (Sidney snickers.) 

“What do you call it?”

“A stop.” Sidney starts laughing.

“Oh, SHUT UP!” Charlotte slaps his arm. Charlotte is laughing now, too.

Pretty soon they’re both laughing so much Charlotte has tears running down her cheeks.

“Well, this is a lively start to a long trip! I failed to ask you if you want to drive."

“I can. Do you want me to?”

“No, you can later if you want. Maybe I’ll get you out on the highway to orient you to the difference in sides.”

“Oh, really. You think I can’t handle it?”

“Oh, I’m sure you can handle it, I just don’t want you driving my car until you’re SURE you can handle it.”

“Okay. Noted.”

“Okay, I want to stop for a cup of coffee before we leave town. It will be the last good cup of coffee you get until we get back. I’m warning you”.

A quick drive through Starbucks and they’re on their way to Iowa. 

“So, in about two hours we’ll cross over the border into Iowa and the windy, windy flat lands. Four hours later you will be in ‘God’s Country’." 

“Oh, really what is that designation about?”

“Well, the real beauty comes in Southwest Iowa. It’s lush farmland, rolling hills and friendly, snoopy people!” (And she chuckles)

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, well you’re heading to rural small town Iowa, my man. You will NOT get away with a walk around town without someone noticing you as a stranger and wanting to know your entire life’s history.”

“Whaaaat? Really?”

“Ohhhh, YES! I grew up here but I’ve been gone for nearly 15 years. I still get scrutinized. And try not to say anything in public. They’ll hear your voice and word will be out there’s a Brit in town.”

“We’ll just have to hit the grocery store during quiet hours. The grocery is gossip central.”

“Whaaat? Wait. Are you for real right now? How many people in this town?”

“About 5500.”

“Oh. Whooooaaa. That’s smaller than I thought.”

“Don’t get me wrong. There are some really outstanding people who live there. My dad, my brother and Mary, his wife. Plus their kids. My Aunt Pam (Dad’s sister) and my two beautiful cousins, Kaye and Kari. People say Kari and I look like sisters. I also have several classmates who live there.

“Put it this way. It will be a fun visit. It won’t be BORING by any means. It’s definitely going to be an insight into me and I hope we all don’t scare you off. Sidney, please say you’ll ask me first about anything my family brings up about me. They can be quite wicked when they’re teasing and my brother? Seriously. Start ignoring him after 7 pm. He’s an alcoholic.”

“You know, the more you fret about this the more I wonder what it is you have to hide?”

“Well, I was kinda a strange kid. I loved music, drama and the outdoors. I was a fairly good student but had to work my ass off because of Attention Deficit Disorder. I could have been the poster child for ADHD but small town Iowa didn’t know what they were dealing with. I hate math. Love languages and literature. Journalism was my undergrad; I've alwaysI loved to write. I am intrigued by broadcast journalism which was the emphasis of my major. 

“You MUST see some of those things in me by now…? Right? I flit around from thing to thing." 

"I was JUST going to say that! You are like a butterfly fliting from thing to thing. I was going to make the relative similarity between you and my brother Arthur who also has ADHD." 

“Ohhh, I want to hear more about that! Sometimes I lose track of my reality and become totally immersed and hyper focused on something. That's typical ADHD. I tend to lose things. My brother calls me 'The Nutty Professor' in reference to an old Disney movie.”

“Is that why you have tiles* on everything?” 

“Yes.”

“How many do you have?”  
Four. My phone, my tablet, car keys and my planner. I’m considering one for my computer. They tell you where you last left something, too. It’s not just for finding things in my house. Imagine that? Me leaving something behind?”

(Sidney laughs.). 

“I know. That’s overkill.”

“No, I’m laughing because you need them ALL!”

“Sidney, I need to talk to you about something.”

“Oooo. Sounds serious.”

“Well, on this trip we are trapped for 12 hours so I figure we can use that time to get to know one another.”

“Okaaay, what are you going to tell me you were a call girl in college?”

“Nooo! Oh, God. I’m such a prude! That embarrasses me to even think about it. I had a sorority sister who WAS! A roommate and she talked in her sleep. I swear, I’m NOT making that up!”

(Sidney shoots a look over at her and sure enough, she’s blushing.) “Ooooo, what else can I embarrass you with?”

“Ohhhh, just wait ‘til we get to Red Oak. You know I’m really dreading this. I wish you would have headed home or decided to just stay in Minneapolis.

“C’mon, that would be no fun. Anything I’d want to do there I’d want to do with you. Right? And I wouldn’t want to hang out at your house except to snoop through your things.” 

“Oh, and you would do that, too! Wouldn’t you? For all I know you actually really did that when I’ve gone to the U to meet my professors or something. Have you?”

“Oh….don’t make me lie to you.”

“Sidney!”

“I just got into your negligee drawer, for REAL, is all--now that I know you have one! I like the red one you have!”

“OMG! Are you serious right now? You better not have!"

“Oooo! I didn’t know you had a red one, too! I am guessing so well, aren’t I? Wow! Well, now that I know a black AND a red one exist there needs to be a fashion show.”

“Sidney. There is NO WAY. Stop!”

“What other colors do you have?”

“Never mind.”

“Ohhhhh, that means there’s more! (Sidney chuckles) Do tell, Ms. Heywood. How many negligees do you have?”

"STOP, Parker!! Paybacks are hell! You know that!”

“Well, there are more, right? You basically just said so.”

“Oh, my God! If you don’t stop….!” (Charlotte is completely flushed. Sidney is loving this.) 

[Okay. I better let up. I am COMPLETELY surprised that the prude has a negligee let alone more than one! Makes me wonder…? Hmmm. Why? Well,I know why but, that’s intriguing…? That certainly says something, doesn’t it? And I WOULD like a fashion show! Very much! Very, VERY much!] (Sidney chuckles to himself.)

After several minutes…

“Okay, so Sidney, with 12 hours in the car together be prepared to discuss EVERYTHING--except my negligee drawer! Got it?”

(Sidney nods.) “Yes. I guess.” (And he winks at Charlotte.) I am reluctant to say EVERYTHING is fair game but let’s just see where this goes.”

“So, Sidney...tell me about your folks. You mentioned that your mom works for the NHS but you never said what she does. And your dad is a business consultant? What kind of business. What does he do?” 

“My parents were and ARE amazing parents. They raised the 4 of us there in Sanditon—my dad’s hometown. Actually, I lived on an acreage outside of town. The original Parker estate.”

“Well, we have that in common. Red Oak is my dad’s hometown.”’

“He consults about business takeovers. He’s well-respected and successful in his field. It’s complicated. He’s a numbers guy. I would imagine he’ll retire at some point here soon”

“I met your mom once. I loved her personality. Very positive and upbeat. BeaUtiful! No wonder all you kids are good looking. I’m assuming your dad is handsome, like you boys.

“Mum was impressed by you, Charlotte. More than once she mentioned I should ask you out. I felt like saying, ‘Can you ask her out FOR me and I’ll be at the location?!'”

“I want to laugh and say it wasn’t ‘that bad’ but it was—guarding my heart. You know that now, Sidney.”

“I didn’t at the time! I just thought that you plain old were not interested. I wasn’t your type or something.”

“Are you fishing here, Mr. Parker?”

“Uhhh. Yes. A little.”

“I thought you were incredibly funny and easy to be with. Not too ugly, actually. I knew I couldn’t trust myself to be alone with you. It would have been way too easy to fall off the cliff and I wasn’t ready for that. I was there for 6 weeks to do my studies. That was it. I didn’t need a boyfriend for just 6 weeks. Just a distraction. I just couldn’t ‘go there’. So much easier to just avoid you.”

“Well, you made me a teasing target with my family, thankyouverymuch.”

“Sorry, Sidney, I would have loved to be a mouse in the corner of that room! Okay, your mom…what does she do?”

“My mum on the other hand loves her work. They’ll have to carry her out of there, toes up. She works for the mental health division of the NHS. (National Health Services) She’s an advocate for people who have mental illness. She kind of has made it her mission since my uncle, her brother, was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, well over a decade ago now.”

“What’s that look on your face, Charlotte?” She takes a deep breath. Wondering how much she wants to share and how she wants to tell it.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. (She tries to smile as normal.)

“That’s really interesting. Tell me about your uncle then.”

“Well, he was exhibiting common bipolar behavior we just didn’t know what the symptoms were. He’d have grandiose ideas, he was spending too much money, not sleeping or sleeping very little for days. So happy and funny and then the next thing you’d know he would be depressed. Isolating himself. Wouldn’t attend family functions. It was just such a disparity in behavior.

“My mum had just started working in that division so she did research, talked with doctors and convinced my uncle to come in and be evaluated. Turned out he was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 which is a more subtle form of bipolar. It can appear as though the person is kind of eccentric or like it’s just their personality so many times it can go undiagnosed.

“He’s a great guy. I love my uncle. He is so damn funny! He has done well with treatment. The secret to it all is medication. When he got that right his moods stabilized. The illness is somewhat hereditary. We think he inherited it from my Grandfather. He was a very successful developer. There’s a lot of successful people who have bipolar disorder. Actors. Musicians. Entrepreneurs. They can be quite tenacious and fearless.”

“Charlotte. Can you tell me about your divorce? If you feel comfortable to share.”

Charlotte takes a deep breath. “I don’t know where to start. What would you like to know?”

“Well, how did you meet? How long were you married? What happened if you want to tell me?”

.”Uuuugh. I never know how to discuss this, Sidney. Please bear with me.”

“Sure. Sure. Just whatever you want to share. We can always come back to this if you don’t want to.”

“No. It’s okay. I knew it would have to be discussed at some point...

“Well, Steve was my college sweetheart. We met through some hometown friends who belonged to the same frat house.”

“What’s a frat house?” 

“Not a fraternity like you know it to be in England. This is a place where a bunch of guys, like 50, all live together in a big house. It’s basically a madhouse all the time. Lots of parties, women and stupid drunkenness. God, that’s a lifetime ago. (She giggles.)

“We met the first week of school my freshman year. Caused me to break up with my hometown high school boyfriend of 2.5 years. That was another trauma unto itself. 

“Our relationship was “spirited”. We could get into some conflict sometimes. It usually centered around him standing me up or promising he’ll do something and he never did—didn’t follow through. Really, looking back at it I was an idiot to put up with the way he treated me. RED FLAG! RED FLAG! He would always come in at the last minute and win me back. Bring me flowers. Take me out to eat at a very nice restaurant. He knew what my limits were and took advantage of that.

“I was stupid and in love. I would let him get away with that stuff. When I look back there were several red flags. Namely, his violence and aggression. I used to think he was being chivalrous when he would shove guys on the wall at the bar when they hassled me. Then I saw him do that to a friend of ours who expressed he was concerned we go back together. It was shocking. I had to pull him off of him! He was an ass and I didn’t see it! The first year we were married he put his fist through a mirror and through the wall behind it. He got angry when we were arguing in the car once and broke the horn when he slammed his fist into the steering wheel. The thing just kept blaring! He broke the cabinet shelf in our apartment. He bent the refrigerator door hinges and stuff like that. He was breaking things and then we’d have costly repairs and no money. We were scraping by as it was. I was stupid. I should have done something then.

“Things just escalated from there. He put me up on the wall by the neck one night at our house one time when we were arguing. We were in the hallway. Now, bear in mind I have two older brothers, right? I know how to fight so I broke his grip and got HIM up on the opposite wall but it certainly was unnerving. He was shocked and mad that I did that but it felt good to be the one in HIS face and choosing when to let go. There’s no reason anyone should put up with that crap. I’m an idiot. And truth be told, I just wanted to be married. I wanted to start my life and family.

“But if I was honest with myself, that’s when I knew I didn’t want him to be the father of my children. But I kept with it. ‘Better or worse’ and all that. And I just had that much desire to be married and follow my dreams of having children and being a Mom. Not that I was convinced it was Steve, really. I just didn’t want to start over, after having dated him for 5 years and by now we’re married 2 years. So, after 7 years I just thought it would get better, I just needed try  
'harder' or try something 'different.' And truthfully, I thought no one else would want me or I wouldn’t meet someone until it was too late to have kids. 

“I didn’t like being put in that place, Sidney. We went to counseling several times and one of the last times he was literally yelling at me in the counselor’s office. Blaming me for things. The lobby was on the other side of those thin drywall walls and was FULL of people. had to walk out of that office through those people waiting there. It was absolutely humiliating.

“We were married 5 years and there was no love left. 

I just couldn’t process forgiveness anymore.

The very last counseling session we had the counselor gave us an assignment to make a list of what we wanted from the other person. He brought FOUR pages! I didn’t have anything written! I just brought one request. I didn’t have to write it down. I wanted him to be authentic with himself and with me. Dig deep. Put some effort in. Be truthful about what work he needed to do and follow through with it.

“He kept pulling out pages and pages...I just got up and left. I knew I was done. If there are four pages of how I disappointed him, then I need to understand that I’m never going to please him and he certainly wasn’t pleasing ME! There was one more act of aggression and violence and I screamed and yelled 'get out!' until he finally left the house and I changed the locks on the door within the hour. I was soooo done with his bullshit at that point.”

Charlotte starts to tear up and Sidney reaches over to touch her leg.  
“I’m so sorry.”

(A stray tear falls down her cheek and very quickly, she wipes it away.) “Thanks.”

[What kind of guy reaches out and says he’s sorry for your heartbreak? Sweet Jesus, I am falling hard. This is cuh-raaaa-ZY! I can’t wait to tell Sue. She was not keen on this idea—I don’t blame her. But look what’s happening!? Where is this going? Is it too fast? I have so much “stuff” I would need to work through and share with him. Who knows if he would even find me worth all that effort…?]

“Sidney I need to tell you something…”

She hesitates. She doesn’t even know where to start. She’s fearful this will push him away from her, for sure.

[How much more fucked up can you get, Charlotte? You cry all the time. You push him away when he’s been nothing short of a gentleman. You’re a nervous wreck—you aren’t even acting like yourself!]

There’s another tear that falls down her cheek and Sidney sees it.

“What is it, Charlotte?”

“I need to pull over. I’ll take this next rest stop.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I just need to think a minute. And if I don’t stop crying this could get dangerous. She giggles. Maybe you can drive…? (Charlotte decided to use the restroom and take advantage of the time apart from Sidney. There were so many emotions running through her head.) 

[This could push him away. Who wants a long-term relationship with someone who is bipolar? He’s completely got his shit together and I’m a mess—maybe THAT’S being bipolar?? Well, it’s not helping. That’s for sure. I don’t know. How am I going to tell him?]

“Are you ready? Do you want to drive?” (She approaches the car with a smile.)  
[Just fake it ‘til you make it through this, Charlotte.]

“Yeah. Sure. I’d be glad to.”

“Charlotte, before we take off I want you to tell me what’s bothering you. I don’t want to be driving and unable to help. Is it really all that bad? I can handle it! You’ve picked on me for so long I’m pretty tough.” (Sidney laughs.)

Charlotte giggles at that and looks up into his eyes. [My, God. His eyes are beautiful. Why haven’t I noticed that? Maybe I’ve never seen them in the bright sunlight or something? They’re a rich, dark chocolate brown. Beautiful.] Charlotte takes a big breath and sighs.

“Sidney, like your uncle I have bipolar disorder as well.” She stops and stares at him for a reaction. And there’s NO reaction.

“And….”

“And I’ve been diagnosed for 7 years now.”

“Do you feel your medication is working?”

“Yes. Does this bother you? I would totally understand if you don’t want to be with me. Obviously it’s a volatile illness so very, very hard to navigate.”

“Why are you qualifying our relationship like that? I know what bipolar disorder is. You’re not scaring me away, if that’s what you’re questioning.

“Well, seriously, Sidney, it is only by God’s grace that I found my way to you and your family that knows and understands this disorder. I still have a lot of self-esteem issues about it. I hope I don’t burden you with those but it’s prevalent. It affects my relationships. It affects my day-to-day functioning. I’ve got to be honest about that. Is it okay with us? Can you accept that I have this disorder?”

“Well, I’m so glad I didn’t take off driving because, come here…(Sidney places a hand on her face and gives her a sweet, loving kiss.) It’s okay. (He puts his forehead on hers.) It changes nothing, okay? Don’t even worry about that. Okay?” (Sidney looks seriously at her to tell if she believes him.)

“Okay.” Charlotte sits back and they smile at each other. [Good God, where did this guy come from? And I didn’t want him to come!? I’m falling in love with him and I never thought I’d consider that again. This scares the ever-lovin’ SHIT out of me!]

“So, Sidney. I can now carry on with my divorce story…


	11. "2 + 2 + ___ = 6!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its been 4 hours!
> 
> Nothing like being trapped in a car for 6 HOURS to completely drive you batty! Our two lovebirds are wisely passing time with goofy questions from a book that Charlotte brought. Many questions and many laughs happen in getting to know one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd travel with Sidney ANYtime! "God's Country" is getting closer and Charlotte is getting a little anxious!

"Are you sure you want to hear all this divorce stuff, Sidney?"

"Absolutely! Unless you don't care to share."

“Steve made things MUCH worse than it needed to be. He was mad at me about the bipolar disorder. There’s no way he wasn’t even though he’d say he was ‘okay with it’. I could tell I disappointed him. Rather than loving each other ‘through sickness and in health’ he checked out. Intimacy was non-existant. He became addicted to porn. Talk about a blow to one’s self esteem! So, those negligees you like to tease me about...? Well, I’m sure you were curious...I TRIED! [Why am I telling him all of this? Honesty? Yes. Total honesty. Complete vulnerability. Mutually trusting. That is the foundation. I’m not going to settle if trust isn’t there. I want a relationship like that this time. God, Charlotte, I hope this is the right thing to do!?]

[What? NOTHING? Just when she needed that intimate bond the most? Porn? Is he crazy!? Look what was sitting right NEXT to him!? He wants to watch some plastic thing on a screen? That's someone’s daughter, sister or maybe even a mother !? I do NOT “get” that!? I’m completely blown away by this guy! What an f’d up dude! No wonder a new relationship is so scary for her? Wait, I’m not listening, am I?]

“He was always used to me being in charge and handling everything and with this diagnosis it took about two years to get all the medications right and to feel more like myself.”

“I’m sorry, Charlotte. I missed that last part. Can you repeat it for me, please? And I’m sorry to tease you about the negligees. I didn’t know. I never would have done that. That’s not okay.”

“I know you didn’t. It’s no big deal. (Sidney looks over at her to see her face and read her expression.) Really! It isn’t! I’m really not upset. Don’t even worry about it. I’m actually glad that’s turning into a big, fat JOKE! Because it WAS one! (She hesitates.) I think all you missed was I felt abandoned and lonely and I didn't feel like I could share that with my friends. I was embarrassed, ashamed and some of their husbands were friends with Steve. I would never divulge any of this to my family. That would be Scott. NO WAY! He can't keep a secret at all."

“I just want to be able to share this stuff with YOU, Sidney. I need to take that risk or I won’t get better. I know I’m having a hard time with all of this relational stuff. I’m gun shy, as they say. It was an awful time in my life. I thought marriage would be better than it turned out to be. That’s why I’m protective of myself and my feelings…I don’t think I could make it through that a second time. So if there’s a next time, it has to be right in every way. For sure, I will never go to bed worrying about my safety again.

“ When you talk about your safety what does that mean?

It means once someone lays their hands on you in aggression or perhaps a violent manner you go on the defensive. It’s never quite the same again. You sleep with one eye open. I was naive enough to think I could change that. 

What did he do?

Some other time maybe. I’m too angry still. I think. Truthfully, I haven’t reconciled things in my head or heart yet. ‘Yet’ and it’s 5 years later!

I’m mad at myself. Mainly because I was dumb enough to let it happen. I have brothers! I know better!

I had no idea. I’m sorry if I’m too pushy or anything.”

“Right amount of pushy. (Charlotte smiles at Sidney.) WAY too much fear on my part. I’m sorry for that. I’m working at that.

“An-y-way, I didn’t feel like I could take on the household stuff--that in itself was so stressful. Finances were a nightmare. I stopped working to go to school full time. I needed to get done quickly. I just was incredibly depressed—subconsciously about my marriage, I’m sure. He had a low grade depression. He had a lot of anger about the diagnosis and this was a guy who ALREADY had anger issues! He grew up with an alcoholic father. I’m not diminishing that but at some point you have to take responsibility for your own mental health and well being. You gotta grow up and be the adult. Work on your own issues which means addressing feelings involving your family paradigm.

“Steve’s maturation kind of stopped around age 15. His EQ (Emotional Quotient) was 80 and that’s how he dealt with life. Like he had no responsibilities and no obligations or rules. I picked up that slack. I handled everything. Bills, house, bookkeeping, cars, holidays, and all of that stuff. He went to work and earned the money so I felt obligated to do all the rest for the family. There certainly was not a partnership. I was getting used but I didn’t realize it.

“I think he felt trapped into a relationship with a defective person when I couldn’t take that on.  
I really do. I think that’s where a lot of his anger came from. The anger was already there and the immaturity was already there, it just escalated from that point. There was no way we were going to make it. I divorced and went back to school for my Masters and then my PhD at the U.

“Hey, we’re going to pass by Iowa State in Ames where I got my undergrad degree.  
Maybe on the way back we could allow time and I can show you around. It’s a beautiful little town. My brother and sister-in-law both work for Iowa State.”

“Charlotte, before we completely switch the subject I want to thank you for sharing all of that. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for you. You like to keep things private. I understand now. This is pretty heavy stuff to deal with--for anybody! I just want to say, by disclosing those things I now understand better your reluctance to start a new relationship and your trepidation about being vulnerable with someone new. I will prove worthy of your trust. I want you to know that.” Sidney reaches out for Charlotte and she takes his hand and squeezes it.

“Thank you. I appreciate that. You’re something else, Sidney Parker. I don’t know what to make of you. You know that? Such an anomaly.” (Sidney smiles and squeezes her hand back.)

“Well...Charlotte...moving on...I can’t believe how much education you have.”

“And education DEBT! I’m crossing the line into perma student status. I need to stop and re-evaluate. School has been a nice distraction and a great ego boost but I need to get a “real” job. I DO love it! I love the challenge in learning new things. Keeping your mind working. I do need to pick a focus now though and move on. I think I’ve got a pretty fair amount of opportunities, actually.”

“What do you want to do?”

“I’d love to teach at the college level. ‘Professor Heywood,'“ she says with a smile.

“I can TOTALLY see you doing that, Charlotte.”

“How about you, Sidney? Do you like working with Tom?”

“You know, yes. Tom can get a little ahead of himself but he is every bit an entrepreneur. He takes risks and he’s very passionate and creative. He’s courageous, you know? I have to keep a watch on him and his spending. I hate being the wet blanket all the time but it’s better than having our dad get involved.”

“Do you see yourself doing project management long term?”

“Uhhhh, I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it that much. Why?”

“Just wondering.”

“Can I be so bold as to say you’re asking about my willingness to come to the US?”

“Oh. Whoa! No! I never even thought of that! [Yes, I did and that’s exactly what I wanted to know.] Don’t get me wrong but I think we’d have to be a LOT more serious before I would ever broach that topic.”

“Oh, sorry. Excuse me. I thought that was what you were getting at.”

Charlotte hems and haws…”What do you think of the US?” (Sidney smiles a sly grin.)

[Ahha! Two can play at this game, Ms. Heywood!] ”I think it’s HUUGE! Minneapolis is beautiful with all the trees and lakes. It’s damn COLD! (Charlotte nods and snickers.) The culture is interesting. Women take a lead more often than at home. I kind of like that, actually. I really can’t say. I haven’t been here all that long.”

“Do you like it so far?”

“I think I could get used to it.” (Sidney throws a glance to Charlotte with a grin.)

[Shut up Charlotte, not another word. He’s on to you.]

“Okay, so I have this goofy book called Coke or Pepsi. It’s a bunch of questions you answer and sometimes there’s a Coke or a Pepsi question in there.”

“I don’t even know what Pepsi is. Is it another cola product?”

“Yes.”

“Pssshhh, it’s Coke all the way.”

“Okay. So I want to ask you some of these questions. Are you okay with that?”

“Go!”

“What’s worth waking up early for?”

(No hesitation.) “Sex.”

Charlotte’s GASPS and she immediately hides her face behind the book. She has turned bright red and her jaw has hit the floor. “Oooookay then! THAT shocked me but...why should it?"

(Sidney’s laughing. He loves her reaction.) “Is there any other answer? Really? C’mon! No! THAT’S the answer!” (Charlotte is lowering her head behind the book to avoid eye contact.) [Sweet Jesus! First answer out of the gate!]

“Oooo-kay!”

“I can answer this next one...Wordy or short texts?”

“Short. Definitely.”

“Try kryptic.”

“Well, I’m not the journalist who needs proper sentence structure, punctuation and spelling.” (Charlotte has to giggle. That most definitely is HER!)

“Want children? How many?”

“Is that in there?”

“Yes!’

“For real?”

“Yes, Sidney”. [Of COURSE it isn’t! Answer the question.]

“Uhh,YES! Most definitely! How many? Two or more. I want them to have a friend.”

“How about you, Charlotte?”

“I’m the one asking questions!”

“Yes, but...please answer that for me.”

“Well, I am FANTASTIC with children and I’ve always wanted to be a Mom. So,YES! And three, like in my family. Of course, see if I survive number one!?”

“Hunh?,” Sidney says as he’s driving.

“What’s ‘hunh’?”

“I’m grateful. Having children or not can break up couples. I’m glad we’re in agreement is all.”

Charlotte turns and looks up at him and says, “I don’t dare admit this but I really, REALLY liiiiike you.” (And she starts to giggle.)

Sidney smiles and says, “I bet I "like" you a whole lot more.” And he sends a wink her way.

They drive a while not needing to say anything. (Companionable silence, again!)

“So, when are we switching? I want to ask YOU questions!?”

“Uhhh, not for another 70 miles—an hour.”

“Sooo, let me see what else I have here.”

“Have you ever performed in front of an audience.”

“Yes. Play some guitar and sing some.”

“Oh, wow. That’s cool.”

“Yes. I did musicals and stuff. Competed in contests.”

“Pet peeve?”

“People who are so self-absorbed—all into themselves.”

“How about you, Charlotte?”

“Mean, judgemental people, bad drivers and ill-fitting underwear. In that order.”

(Sidney looks at her and cracks up!) “Okay then!!”

“If your BFF were a food what would they be?”

Sidney takes a look over at Charlotte and says, “Something sumptuous and chocolate.”

Without looking up…”You think Babs or Crowe would be chocolate? Really?  
Milk or dark?”

“Awww, c’mon! You are such a TEASE Ms. Heywood!” And he laughs fully!

“I love the sound of _______________?”

“Snoring cats.”

“Isn’t that hilarious! He can snore in any position. It’s not just if he’s curled up.”

“I shall miss him, Charlotte.”

“Yeah. He’s a pretty special but an extremely notteh kitteh.”

“I suppose I can answer these questions with you. You already know this—a train on the tracks blowing its whistle.”

“Who do you text the most?”

“Tom.”

“Sue. For sure.”

“Can you tie a knot with a cherry stem with your tongue?”

“Whaaat? I’ve never heard of such a thing!? I have no idea.”

“I’m going to guess no. We’ll have to try it together!”

“Sounds like a romantic night out," and he laughs.

“Hottest place you’ve ever been?”

“Antigua.”

“Southwest Iowa in August. Hell on earth. Especially if you live in temperate Minnesota. Summers are INCREDIBLE in Minnesota, Sidney! Beautiful. Lakes and beaches. Parks and biking/walking paths. It’s amazing--almost makes up for winter. Almost. That’s what people like to say up here but….that winter pretty much sucks. I’m not going to lie.”

“Coldest place you’ve ever been?”

“Minnesota!”

“Up NORTH Minnesota!”

“Have you ever had food poisoning?”

“Yes. Twice. Airline food and my cousin’s wedding.”

“Once. Escargot. Ix-nay on the seafood.”

“Funniest person you know?”

“That’s gotta be you.”

“Why, THANK you! That’s nice. I think you’re a tie with my brother. Depends on how drunk he is. When he’s sober he has me in tears. Sue is real good, too!”

“Something dumb you did as a little kid?”

“I let Tom convince me that Mum and Dad said it was okay to play in this one cove that they already said was off limits. Well, come to find out there’s a riptide there. He had to save me. I was like 9 or 10.”

“Mine is equally as stupid. I grew up down by the creek, “crick” they call it in Red Oak, so every summer day in my childhood I was down there. I spent HOURS every day down there. Well, we used to crawl the storm drains and would go clear up near my house. FOUR blocks and some of those drains, they’re cement tubes, were only as big as Iii was! I had to crawl through on my stomach! And what is Iowa known for? Monsoons! Thunderstorms out of nowhere! Soooo stupid! What a safety risk, being in those tunnels!

“You played at a creek?”

“Yes. Now that’s pronounced “crick” in Southwest Iowa. A colloquialism."

“Were you a tomboy then?”

“You KNOW the answer to that, Sidney!”

“Of COURSE! There was a group of 9 of us. I was the only girl in the whole neighborhood and with 2 older brothers? Heck, yeah! I still can be quite a tomboy, given the opportunity.”

“Interesting.”

“Favorite Olympic Sport?”

“Swimming.”

“Figure Skating.”

“Nickname?”

“‘Bubs’. My siblings started that and it stuck.”

“‘Char.” My nephew started that ‘cause he couldn’t get ‘Charlotte’.”

“Biggest fear?”

“Oh. I don’t know. I gotta think about that. How about you?”

“This sounds trite but honestly I’ve said this for a while. I would say this even before I met you. My biggest fear is that I’ll continue to be alone. There will be no one to grow old with. Like, it will be okay because that’s what I do now but, it’s NOT okay NOW...so, it won’t be okay then, either. Know what I mean? I won’t have much time left and I don’t want to be alone. I want someone there in the end.”

Sidney reaches over and holds her hand. After a few seconds he kisses her hand. He gives it a squeeze and he does not let go.

[This guy is amazing.Kissing my hand! Whaaat? I’m telling ya’! Holy shit, Charlotte! Tread carefully!]

She turns and looks out the window. They drive on in silence.

“Okay. Here! This is the Iowa/Minnesota border and there’s a big ol’ casino there! I don’t know what that’s about. Obviously Iowa has legalized gambling since I left. There’s a great rest stop here if you want to go.”

“Yeah. Let’s check in. I need a break.”

“When they get out Sidney comes around to her side of the car and wraps his arms around her waist and says, “Hey. Are you okay?”

“Yes. I’m fine. I’m sorry about all that. It just makes it more real when I talk about it is all. It makes me really sad, ya’ know?”

“Can you please throw your arms around me and kiss me to warm me up since I’m freezing my ass off right now. She gives him a quick kiss.”

“This isn’t even cold, ya’ weenie! Follow me in here (pulling him toward the rest stop building) and I’ll attack you!”

“Yes. Please.”

_______________________________

“Okay. I don’t mean to get obscene but where the fuck are we right now and how much farther is it?”

“Well, now you’re heading west, finally. We just got around Des Moines. Des Moines is the capital of Iowa. We are now taking I-80 west which is like a crowded Audubon. People drive like idiots and at crazy speeds. This is why I’m driving."

“As far as distance. It’s two more hours to get to my friend’s house where we’ll be staying.”

“Oh, God. This seems so much farther than 6 hours!”


	12. "The Last Two Hours"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney and Charlotte have finally made it to "God's Country"! (Well, 30 minutes until home--Red Oak.) Time to meet friends and later meet family. Looking ahead: Doesn't everyone have the same type of relatives, you can just interchange the names?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sidney is earning points (except for his whining) as a candidate for Charlotte's boyfriend. This will all make sense later! :-)

“6 HOURS! 6 hours? Whyyy does this seem so much more than 6 hours??

"Cause you're crying like a kindergartner. Buck up!" (Charlotte says, only half joking.)

"Imagine me driving this drive for 15 years. Well, if you count the Ames college drives. Ugh! Anyway, notice how it’s getting more hilly? You’re heading to west Iowa.”

“Okay, so tell me about Sue...and Craig, is it?”

“Well, Sue is my junior high friend. We were cheerleaders together. Lifeguards.”

“You were a cheerleader?”

“Yes. Does that surprise you?”

“Got pictures of that?”

“Yes, I probably do as a matter of fact.”

“No such thing in Britain. I’m just curious. Short skirts and the whole bit?”

“Yes, now wipe that look off your face. It’s getting indecent!”

“Oh. Sorry.” (Sidney laughs)

“Sue has been a 1st grade teacher forever. She’s amazing. I sat in on class one time. Those kids adore her.”

“Craig works for a vending company. He fixes the machines and gathers the money. Stocks the machine.” 

“My brother is best friends with that guy at his bar.”

“Your brother has a bar?”

“Manages a bar. In High Wycombe.”

“I’d say that’s a definite stop sometime.” (Charlotte smiles at Sidney.)

[Does that mean she intends to come back? To visit? To stay?]

“I’ve been wondering about how to describe Craig and Sue. They’re solid.  
They’ve been through a lot and they’ve made it. Put it this way, they’re the polar OPPOSITE of me and Steve!! We got married one year ahead of them and they obviously had a much better starting point, EQ wise.

“Well, they have 3 children so it’s a busy household. You’ll be immersed in family life in the the Midwest. I’m sure Sue runs a tight ship.

“We’ll be just in and out of there due to our commitments in RO. I know you’ll like them. Craig will interrogate you like you’re dating his daughter. Matter of fact, I can’t wait to see how THAT goes! Just be ready.”

“For what?”

“Well, he’s a no nonsense kind of guy. Come to find out Craig REALLY did not like Steve but kept it to himself. ‘Never trusted the guy. All uppity.’ Wish I would have known that at the time. I sincerely would have pondered that. Less than 2 years later we were having MAJOR issues.

“Anyway, he’s fun! Great sense of humor. Great Dad. And he loves baseball! Unfortunately, he’s a New York Yankees fan and I am a Minnesota Twins fan, of course. (Charlotte giggles) Even their dog's name is Yankee! I try not to hold that against him. I really like baseball! I try to attend a couple of times a year. That’s my pro sport of choice.”

“Well, as you know, the closest we get is Cricket.”

“Which is fun too, but not as exciting as Major League Baseball—no offense. I’ll take you sometime. You’ll see what I mean.”

[So does she mean when I come to visit? If I live here? At some point we’ve got to stop talking AROUND this topic. I’m pretty sure she’d take off on me if I pressed the issue. Not like literally ‘take off’. She seems to be doing better now. But I’m pretty sure she’d shut down. She’s not there yet. Will I KNOW if she’s ‘there’? This part of our relationship drives me a little nuts. I could just keep moving forward. No second thoughts. She moves forward and then stops. Moves again then slows down. And on it goes. All I can say is there’s a lot of hurt there.] 

“Now, Sue...she’ll be non-partisan. Just more intent on getting to know you. She wasn’t real happy that I was traveling with you and having you in my home when not having dated really. She would joke,’This sounds like a plot from Law & Order SVU, Charlotte! I want you to seriously consider this.’ ”

“What am I to do? The guy sat next to me on my plane. He got off with me. Where’s he going to go?”

“To a HOTEL!”

“Ahhhh, that’s the phone call you had to make when we landed.”’

“Yeah...she was really not happy with me. She backed off (and laughed) when I said, ‘I have the apartment that I can lock, separate from the house and I have Sergeant Olivia Benson in my Contacts!’ “ 

“I’m not familiar with this show.”

“Oh, you will be. I have the channel programmed into my remote for Law & Order, 24/7!”

“SVU. Do you know what that stands for?”

“No.”

“Special Victim’s Unit...those who’ve been raped.”

“God! You girls! What the _____?”

“They’re just protective of me and I really, really appreciate it. What is it they say? ‘Friends are the family you choose for yourself.’”

“Okay, now we’ll be a half hour away from Red Oak in order to stay together this is what I did. We could have stayed at my brother’s house buuut, we would have been sharing a bed and I don’t want to get into a discussion about that with my brother.”

“Not that I wouldn’t want to...well, that didn’t come out right...what I mean is...I don’t know if that is prudent at this juncture seeing as how we’ve only been dating each other 5 days...and I sure wouldn’t want to start that at my brother’s house. He’d probably set up night vision video equipment—just to embarrass the living shit out of me. Or set up recording equipment. You never know. My brother is NOT beyond invading my privacy and he has that equipment for work.” 

“Surely not…?“ 

“Surely YES! You have no idea how my brothers tortured me. They were relentless!”

“Talk about Audubon, Ms. Heywood.” 

“Well, you gotta get around the trucks. They roll down, pass you descending the hill and they can’t make it up the next hill. Best to pass them. Then, you run into the fledglings that have never driven 80 before. Get away from them, too! If you watch, you’ll know the I-80 veterans.”

“I love it! You crack me up! I should have pegged you as an aggressive driver. One of your pet peeves is poor drivers. How fast does this Toyota go? V-6 with dual overhead cams with intermittent fuel valve. Fast enough.” (Charlotte winks at Sidney.) 

“Leave it to YOU to KNOW!” 

“My first car, a 1971 convertible Mustang, had a V-8 Boss engine in it. God, I loved that car.”

“I am a self-professed motor head. My dad taught me some things. I enjoy motorcycles, too. I owned one as a kid. A Kawasaki KE 100. Well, it was a hand me down but I loved it! See...there! Tomboy!” 

“Where have you been all my life?” 

“1000’s of miles away from you! I could ask the same!” (Charlotte giggles.) 

“Well, are you ready for more questions, Ms. Heywood?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Be kind or I will turn them all back on you. I get veto power. How’s that?” 

“Middle name?”

“Louise. My maternal grandmother.”

“Michael. My paternal grandfather.”

“Coolest old person you know?”

“Great Grandma Gertie!! She’s 93. Oh my God, she’s going to LOVE you! Talk about embarrassment! Iiiiiii will be embarrassed! Be prepared! She says what she’s thinking. Oh, geesh, I’m going to have to talk with her ahead of time—as if that’s going to help.”

“Grandpa Michael. I love him. He’s an old gent. He’s taught me a lot about being a man—being a British man. All class. Learned. You don’t want to disappoint him!”

“Is your family ‘huggy’?”

“My dad’s side definitely is—that’s who we’re going to see. My mom’s side would rather have bamboo chutes jammed under their fingernails. We won’t be seeing them. They live in Missouri.”

“My mom’s side, most definitely. My dad’s side, side hugs and a slap on the back. Too British to do otherwise. With Tom, Mary and the kids, most definitely.”

“Most important thing about you?”

“My faith. It decides/defines everything about me.”

“Whoa. I don’t have anything profound like that...my heart maybe? I try to follow my heart and be a good person with the heartfelt decisions I make?”

Charlotte looks to the side at him and smiles.

“What?” I’d say that’s pretty profound, Mr. Parker. Good answer. High five!” (The two slap in the air.) 

“Have you ever done it in an unusual place?”

“Ahhhhhh! NOOOO! That’s a big fat red VETO stamp on that question! (Charlotte starts laughing.) And I’m SURE that’s not in the book! That book is actually meant for teenagers!” 

“Neither is the ‘Do you want to have children?’ question.” (They smile at each other.)

“I CAN-NOT answer this one! Too private. Waaaay too much a prude. And my answer….can-not even come close in comparison to what your answer is going to be! No thank you. As a matter of fact, I’m not sure I want to HEAR your answer. I’m blushing right now, aren’t I?”

“Yes. You are. (Sidney laughs.) The beach. At Sanditon.”

“The BEACH! That’s pretty tame.”

“Not really. Sand everywhere. Not a good idea if you know what I mean.”

“C’mon. Do tell…”

“Nope! Sorry.”

“I’ll get it out of you. You might as well tell me.”

(Charlotte takes her imaginary stamp and stamps down on his thigh.) “NO! Move on!”

“Old song you really like?”

“Oh, man. How do you pick just one??? Well, I love ‘Dance With Me’ by Orleans and I LOVE ‘Unchained Melody’ by the Righteous Brothers—Freddie Mercury has an amazing version, too. How about you?"

“ ‘Help’ by the Beatles.”

“Really? That’s one of the first songs I memorized. I was 3 years old.”

“Yes. As a matter of fact, “HELP” I wanna be out of this car!? Shit, Charlotte. This is a lot further than I thought it was."

“That’s why we started so early. It does kinda suck (a lot).”

“Yeah. I know. It’s about now that I usually start losing my mind. We’ve got another hour and a half to go!?”

“Is there somewhere we can stop to get something to eat? Drink? I just need to get out.”

“Sure! See the friendly yellow water tower up there? That’s Adel. There will be something there.”

“How odd. Wind turbines and yellow smiley water towers is not how I pictured Iowa.” 

“This is Central Iowa. The Southwest is ‘God’s Country.’”

_____________________________

"Heeeey! (Hugs all around.). You’re on time—early even! I can’t believe you got on the road so early. This is good. Another half day to spend with people.”

“Yeah, I’m anxious to see how this goes…”

“Sue, Craig, this is my friend, Sidney. Sidney this is Sue and Craig.”

“Can I get you something to eat? Drink?”

“Water would be great.”

“Me too.”

"Well come on in guys. We don’t need to talk in the kitchen. So, Sidney, I know many people will ask this but how do you like America? Minnesota?"

"It’s good. It’s real good. Everything is much bigger than I expected, like driving down here. It seemed longer than 6 hours. Minneapolis is nice with the lakes and the trees. Really pretty. I like it!"

(Charlotte raises an eyebrow to Sue.)

“And what is it you do in England? Like how did you two end up working together?”

“Charlotte came for a 6-week study with my brother. We are designing and developing a resort in a coastal town named Sanditon. I’m a Project Manager for the venture. Charlotte did about everything but she was there to study the developing side of things. The historic buildings in town and she also did some Journalism things once we heard she had a degree.”

“She has several degrees! You know that, don’t you?”

“Yes. I am aware. A very learned woman you are Ms. Heywood.”

“Yes, thank you.”

“Rather inhibiting if I do say so myself.”

“That’s the idea! Scare off the riff-raff. (Charlotte starts laughing and Sidney shoots her a devil grin.) Ohhhh, don’t go there, I’m warning you!”

“Charlotte said you two had a great time together...working together.” 

“Yes. Lots of teasing, laughing and minimal work.”

“Heeey! I worked!”

“Yes, I guess you did. My apology.”

“I gotta scoot and take a potty break. I’ll be back quick. (Charlotte walks past Sidney and gives him a slap on the shoulder. Yes, a potty break.”

“So, Sidney. I think you know I wasn’t happy with Charlotte taking you in. It’s not every day a guy boards a plane and follows a girl home—across the ocean! Kinda creepy, don’t you think?”

(Sidney laughs.) “Yes! Yes, I can see your concern.”

“Well, it was her final choice. She took the risk. (She leans in.). Between you and me, she’s very happy with her choice.”

“What are you two gossiping about?”

“YOU!”

“I’ve been telling him how late you are usually.”

“Well, definitely in High School. I’m better now.”

(Sue makes a questioning expression.)

“I AM! Look at today! Is that impressive or what??”

“It must be Sidney’s influence.”

“No, she really was the task master about getting on the road.”

“See?”

“Okay. This one time. I need to see a trend.” (Sue teasingly laughs.)

“Let me show you where you guys will be staying. You’ve got the cave and the office. You choose who stays where. The cave has no windows. It truly is black in there.”

___________________________

“I’m going to bet they end up in the same bed by morning.”

“Uhhhh, no Craig. You don’t know Charlotte. Besides, it’s like they’ve been dating for only 5 whole days or something.”

“Long enough for me! I’m tellin’ ya’...same bed.”  
_____________________________

“I usually sleep in the cave but it’s totally up to you.”

“I think I’ll take the cave.”

“Alright, it’s really fun! You can’t see your hand in front of your face.”

(Whispering). “I’d love to have a 5 minute kissing session with you in there.”

“Sidney looks down and then looks around and then makes eye contact with Charlotte. I can’t abide by that. Sorry. I have to say no.”

“What? Are you teasing me right now?”

“No, this is not a joke. I wish it was. So, yeah, that’s a real ‘no’. We have separate beds for a reason, right? You arranged that for us. Believe me. It’s killing me.”

“But it’s just quick! Kissing only, 5 minutes! I’m not sleeping in your bed.”

“Charlotte. I know myself and I don’t want to be disrespectful of you.”

“Whoa, you’re confusing but amazing me right now. Wow! Wow…? Next time then?”

“Absolutely. When the rules of the game have changed.” 

“Sidney and Charlotte stand and look at each other for a minute and exchange shy awkward glances. Sidney reaches over, touches her shoulder and slides his hand down her arm to grasp her hand and intertwine fingers. He tries to make eye contact and says, “‘I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. (Sidney struggles to make eye contact.). Look at me, Sidney.” (He does look up with damn near perfect puppy dog eyes.)

“It’s okay. I get it. I understand and I appreciate you taking care of me. That’s what I admire most about you—you take care of me.”

“Charlotte smiles at Sidney and gives him a kiss on his cheek. She whispers in his ear, “Thank you, and I mean that.”

_______________________

Within the hour it’s Craig’s turn to check out Sidney.

\- What do you do?  
\- Tell me about your family  
\- What do your parents do?  
\- What are your interests?  
\- Have any athletic interests or hobbies?  
\- How’d you meet Charlotte?  
\- Clarify please….how long have you two been dating?  
\- What do you think of America?  
\- How many siblings do you have and what do they do?  
\- How is this two separate countries thing going to work?  
\- Do you like “Gunsmoke”?

“Gunsmoke?”

“Yeah, wait. I’ll pull it up here...here, it’s a television series from the ‘60's that has 639 episodes. It’s set in the old west. I’m kinda hooked on it. Wanna watch one?"

"Sure!"

"Can I get you a beer?" 

"No, but thank you.”

"Anything else? Pop?"

"No. I'm good, thanks."

“Sue and Charlotte lose track of time when they’re talking but there’s no talking coming from the family room anymore. While standing at the top of the steps Sue hears "Gunsmoke".”

"Oh, God. He’s got him watching ‘Gunsmoke.”

“‘Gunsmoke? The old west show?”

“Yes, Craig is obsessed. He wants to watch every one in order.”

“Poor Sidney. Craig has sucked him in. I’m sure he could care less about old western times. Tell him ‘sorry’ on behalf of me—and Craig!”

“He’ll be fine with it. No big deal.”

(Just then a roar of laughter came from downstairs.)

Charlotte said, “Well, that’s a good sign.”

(Sue nodded with a smile.)

“Sidney? We’re going to have to leave soon. We need to get to Red Oak. So wrap that up soon. Alright?”

“Yes. No problem.”

“No! We’re bonding down here. Leave us alone.” (Then there’s a hearty laugh coming up from the basement.)

“As Charlotte and Sue head to the living room Sue says, “So how is it going up in Minneapolis?" 

I can’t lie. Certain moments come up but we turn it into a joke or tease with the other one so it’s actually been kinda fun! I will say, there is increasing sexual tension, however. (They both go huhummmm at the same time and laugh.) I’m not sure what to think of that but he is such a gentleman! I’m like in AWE! I love that about him!! He’s courteous and so British that it blows me away. Gotta admit though, his voice is what seals the deal! It makes me weak in the knees. I could listen to him 24/7–have him start with reading the phone book, no, my Contacts, out loud!” (The two start laughing.)

“It’s been a long, long time, Sue.” 

“I know.”


	13. "The Whole Famn Damily"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte and Sidney have made it to Red Oak and immediately Sidney is meeting the "whole famn damily"! Let the chaos begin as the personalities come forth. I swear, everyone has a cousin, Jason. A brother, Scott, etc., etc. Hopefully you can relate to this chapter.

“Thank you for driving." [This is sooo hard! I hate this!]

"Sure. Anytime. You okay?"

"Yes. (Sidney reaches over for her hand.) Thank you for asking. Just a little tense is all. This is a pretty drive isn't it? Rolling hills with red barns dotting the horizon. I love it! Sidney, THIS is "God's Country." (Sidney and Charlotte share a sweet smile.)

"It is pretty. You were right. It must have been fun growing up here."

"It was. All the open fields, the 'crick' and all the school events. Stuff like that. This was back when in the summer I'd say goodbye to my parents at 8:00 am in the morning and they would say, "Be home by the time the streetlights come on--9:00 at night"

"Small town Iowa, baby! Someone would feed you lunch and you could stop by at someone else's house for dinner. Swim at the Public Pool all day. Scott was a lifeguard. It was fun to grow up here--the BEST! But I was ready to leave after Highschool . Kind of felt like I didn't fit in here. How my mom must have felt. She was a Navy brat raised on both coasts. The midwest never quite did it for her."

"Anyway, I figured I'd give you some background info on our visit. I thought we'd get this visit out of the way. [Do it first. Done.} My dad just turned 75. He’s a good ol’ boy. Red Oak is his hometown. 4 generations, just like your Dad. He was born and raised here and was in a notorious gang when he was younger. People figure out who I am and they say, “Oh, Oakie’s daughter!?” It’s crazy! We're talking 65 years ago, or more! He has a reputation as a hellian. Known for getting in trouble at the time. His Highschool football and track team are the only ones that went to State and won it. That was 1964. One exception, Scott's senior year track team. My dad will sometimes get reflective and say, "I'm the only one left of that team." That is sad. He's normally not sentimental at ALL! Uncle George was on that team, too. He and Dad were best friends growing up. He married Aunt Pam, the Homecoming Queen. She was always the "little sister" until he came back from the service. I find that so sweet.

"Anyway, Dad was a good athlete. He held the record for 440 high hurdles until 1996 when my boyfriend broke the record. Ironic, huh? He's a natural athlete. I didn't realize that fact until I was an adult. He went off and got his BS in Missouri, met my mom and got married, went into the Army as a firearms specialist and shooting instructor then came back to teach school in Red Oak. He taught for 38 years.

“As I’ve told you, he taught English, Media and was staff sponsor for speech contests and yearbook. Early on he did the school plays and so did my mom in a different competing school district. Red Oak Tigers and the Shenandoah Mustangs!

“He’s a gun dealer in the state of Iowa. He has traveled all over doing gun shows as his retirement job. He and I target shoot with handguns for fun. And I shoot some trap and skeet but not with him. I do that back in Minneapolis. See, I told you I was a good shot! Keep your hands off Weasley! (They look at each other and smile.)

“Now, he can hardly hear so don’t be surprised if he misses something you say.

“Oh, aaaand he cheated on my mom for several years and now the girlfriend lives HERE instead of SW Wisconsin. They met at a gun show. (Sidney looks at Charlotte and she hugely rolls her eyes.) Dad had her move here in April and my mom didn’t die until July. I was very pissed and hurt by that!? Of course I didn’t hear about all that until Dad brought her to Thanksgiving dinner that year. Good thing I wasn’t there! I would be in a fog, I'm sure. And of course Scott didn't tell me about her. 'Wasn't my place to tell.' How about a warning--ANY kind of HINT! Argh' I came down about a week after Thanksgiving that year. AWK-WARD!" (Charlotte raises her eyebrows, questioning.)

___________________

(Standing on the stoop.) “Are you ready for this?” (Charlotte has flowers for Janelle and holds them up to cover her talking and expression.)

“Are YOU? Is there anything I can do to help you with this situation?”

“I’m so glad you’re with me, Sidney! It just helps, ya’ know? Thank you so much.” (Charlotte gives a cheek kiss.) “Why do I feel like I can’t kiss my boyfriend around my dad?” 

“Because you’re still his little girl even at 32, right?” 

“I guess." Charlotte is standing on the steps so slightly taller than Sidney. She lifts his chin. “Oooo, now THIS is fun! This is a very special vantage point.” (She smiles sweetly and gives him a light and loving kiss—behind the flowers.) “Sorry, I can’t give a passionate kiss. I wouldn’t want to mess you up before we go in.” (She smiles her own version of a little shit, grin.) 

“Well hello, Charlotte!”

“Hi, Janelle. I hope Dad told you I was coming….?”

“Yes, he sure did. Come on in.”

“These are for you.” 

“Oh, thank you very much. “ 

“This is my friend, Sidney. Sidney this is Janelle.” [My dad's GIRLfriend.]

“How do you do?”

“I’m good, thank you.”

“Hey, Dad! How ya’ doin'?” 

“I’m good.” (Dad stands to greet Sidney.)

“Dad, this is my friend Sidney. Sidney, this is my dad, Lynn Heywood.”

“Well, you’re a tall kid.”

"It's good to meet you, sir." (Sidney smiles and initiates a handshake.)

"Thank you. Like wise." (Everyone sits down)

“Dad, Sidney is my friend from England.”

“You are? I wouldn't have guessed that. I thought Arkansas. (He laughs at his own joke. Sidney smiles.) What do you do over there, Sidney?”

“I do real estate development with my brother. We’re working on a resort on the coast. Southern coast.”

“Charlotte has her real estate license. Did she tell you that?”

“Interrresting. No, she didn’t.” (Sidney raises his eyebrows to Charlotte.)

(Charlotte whispers, “We’ll talk later.”)

“Dad, what have you been doing? Did you have a good birthday? Sorry I wasn’t back yet so I wasn’t able to attend the party."

“Yeah, it was nice. My sister made a cake. A red velvet cake.”

“Ooooo, you are so lucky! Man, I’d like a piece of that about now! What a delicious tradition. Yumm!”

“Well, I just wanted to stop by and introduce you to Sidney, Dad. We met when I did that study over in England these past few months. He just couldn’t live without me so he followed me back to America!" (She looks at Sidney, smiles and winks.)

"I’m joking!” (Charlotte throws a glance to Sidney and starts laughing.) But that would’ve been super romantic, huh?”

[Should I interject, every bit of that is true! I love your daughter! Ahh! I’ve got to stop hinting and walking AROUND all this! And yes! I AM a romantic, I’d say. Right? How many guys would do that? Me! She’s worth it and she deserves it. Oh, and did I mention I love her? VEERRRYmuch?] 

“Dumb. Why would he spend that much money to follow YOU?!” 

Lynn smiles a cheesy grin and pokes Charlotte in the ribs.

“Oh, very funny, Dad.”

“You got a job yet? Now that you’re so smart 4 times over?”

“No, Dad. But I’m hoping to get on at the U of M. I’ve got my feelers out.”

“What would you teach?"

“Most likely Linguistics. But I could do some interim on Architecture. I really just have to take a job where I can get it and move my way up. Like any other job. But I’m excited to be done for now. This is it, I think.”

“Well, yeah! You’ve done it all. Smartest one out of this bunch, that’s for sure. Keep that quiet around your brothers, now?”

“What are you doing while you’re back?”

“Seeing friends. Hanging out with family. Catching up on the gossip. You know how it is. You got any juicy gossip, Dad?” (Charlotte winks to Sidney.)

“Well, let’s see...oh, yeah! Do you know Mr. Pipping down at the Junior High? He’s a math teacher. 

“Yes. I do remember him.” 

“Well, apparently he’s seeing Ms. Reece, the English teacher.”

“And?”

“He’s still married, you know. His wife found out! She made a big scene confronting him in the cafe, I guess!”

“Yeah, well….that infidelity thing is a BIG DEAL to most people! (Charlotte raises eyebrows to Sidney). That’s the way it SHOULD be if you’re married, right? He deserves a public flogging.”

“Well, it was the talk of the town there for a while.”

“And then the Frenches, who bought one of your mother’s houses. You know which one I’m talking about? On Boundary? They just lost a son. He was in the Army.” 

“Oh! That’s so sad! I kind of know them. I know who you’re talking about. Oh, man. That’s soooo sad. Those were good kids as I recall! Smart. I trained the daughter for life guarding.”

“Yeah, very sad for the town. Your old boyfriend, the General, accompanied the body home.”

“Awww, Dad! Can one visit go by without you talking about the ‘boyfriend that got away?’ Geesh! Old wound for you, huh? Do you realize I was a sophomore in Highschool when I dated him for LESS than 6 months? Big clue...I moved on from him, even got married, in case you didn't notice! You’re such a goof ball about that! EWW! YUK! Seriously!? C’mon, Dad!! I wasn’t going to be a soldier’s wife!" 

"An OFFICER'S wife!"

"Uhhh...so WHAT? Soldier's wife? Officer's wife? Who CARES?? Are you KID-DING me? Gees-us! Can you see ME making small talk with the officers' wives during the bridge game? Do you really think I could keep my mouth shut at an Officers' dinner party?! 'Oh, I thought you said Democrat. Pardon me.' (pu-shaw) Stop that already! You’re embarrassing me in front of Sidney."

"Well..."

"STOP!”

(Janelle starts to giggle.)

Sidney is looking at each of their faces and following the volley and laughing. [Here she is! In fine form! I can hardly believe her dad opened up this one. Obviously, she won’t lose.]

“Well...you missed your chance.”

“Last I knew Iiii would have been married to him and not YOU--the other way around, you see! He was soooo damn BORING, Dad! Rule follower! This girl (she points to her self) not so much! We would NOT be compatible! No. THANK. You.! Now drop it. (Charlotte glares a hole through her Dad’s forehead.) You just do that to embarrass me in front of Sidney.” (Charlotte flashes a smile to Sidney with a wink.)

"He does this every time, I swear! Grrrr! NEXT topic, please!”

“What do you hear from the ‘Speed Queen’?”

“Robin?” 

“Yeah. What’s she up to these days?”

“Living in Arizona. Making tons ‘o money and cutting her life short because of the amount of stress she’s under. She’s actually home right now for the holidays. Without husband #3 so I don’t know WHAT that's about! I’ll have to find out. Ding dang dumb blond that she is anyway!”

“How’s Grandma doing, Dad?“ 

“Good! Drinks her Pepsi and eats popcorn and watches her stories all day.”

“OH!!! (Charlotte giggles.). I can’t wait to see her. She’s going to love Sidney now, isn’t she, Dad?”

“Yeah! Oh, YEAH...you might want to stay in the car, Sidney. These women get hootin’ and hollerin’ and every one is fair game.”

“That’s true, Sidney. We are a pretty vicious group of teasers, aged 32 - 93!! Beware!”

Lynn - “Sidney...Grandma GG is the matriarch and she has no filter. NONE! You’ll want to come prepared for ANYthing!”

“I’ll keep that in mind, thank you.”

“Janelle, are your girls coming here for the holidays?”

“No, they’re coming after the first of the year sometime. California to Iowa? Ugh! You may want to consider the other way around?” They’re still in California, correct?”

“Yes.”

“You still have your “coffee clutch” every day, Dad? I made ginger cookies for you all. I’ve got them in the car. I'll transfer them to your car when we leave.”

“Really? Yup. 4:30. Farmer’s Mercantile. And they would love that. They were in awe of those that you mailed a few years back.”

“I was wondering if you’d like to grab lunch tomorrow, Dad?”

“Sure!”

“Okay. Let’s figure out the time later. I need to see the rest of the family first.”

“Let’s do it!”

“Okay. Well I don’t want to bore Sidney any more and I want to get out of here before you start telling him stories about me--or start talking about the General again! Let’s do lunch and Janelle, I’ll see you at Grandma’s for the Christmas get together, for sure.”

“I don’t really have any stories that are surprising about you. I should tell him how persistent you are and you don’t give up. This one will shoot all but her last bullet in order to hit a target. You know what though, she'd have it picked off right away anyway. She doesn’t give up on anything. She's always been that way. Since she was a little girl. 'Why? But why? Watch me!' She was THIS high!" (Lynn bends over and shows height up to his thigh)

[I don't doubt that a bit! "Watch me!" At three years old! I love it!]

She's a tough cookie. Resilient. I think her bothers did that to her. 'Though she be but little, she is fierce.'''

Dad turns to Charlotte, "Where's that from?"

Sidney answers,“Shakespeare. 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'. That fits her, doesn't it?"

"Oh! Boul-yah, Dad! Way to go, Sidney! Give it!" (Charlotte walks over to him and holds up her hand for a high-5 and Sidney smacks it and smiles.) [That just flew out of my mouth. Where did that come from? Showing off?]

"Awww, Charlotte. You told him!" (Charlotte sits back down beside her dad.)

"Uhh, nope. We don't talk much Shakespeare, Dad. If you can believe THAT!" (Charlotte is giggling and is eyeing Sidney. She does a small thumbs up from her lap.)

"Well, where'd you find this one?"

(Charlotte is laughing .) I told you in England. Thousands of miles away from here, of course. Swimming in the sea and NOT wearing an Army uniform!" (Sidney and Charlotte look at each other and laugh out loud.)

"Okay, Charlotte. You got me. Good one."

"I hear you two have done lots of shooting together? Fill me in on that. She's threatening me if I try and take her cat home. How good is she anyway?”

“Well, she’s good! REAL good. (Charlotte nods a big nod to Sidney.)

"I told ya'!"

"I didn’t really have to teach her. She’s a natural. I think she maybe pictures her brothers standing there with the can on their heads. She would be accurate enough to pick the cans off and scare them to death.”

“HEYYY! Now that’s an idea, Dad!” Charlotte gets up to get her coat.

“Yeah, so Sidney, don’t make her mad or anything, right?! The cat isn't worth it. I warned ya’!” (Dad stands to say goodbye. He goes underarm and grabs Sidney’s bicep and does a fake fist hit to him a couple of times.)

“Whoa! Athlete, huh?”

“Uhhh, well. I run some and swim." [Haven't been in a gym for a loong while.]

“Well. Good for you!”

“He says he runs. I’ve never seen that! (Charlotte giggles) Nope. Not even once, have I? Now swimming, Sidney? Yeah, I'd like to see that. I can picture it..." (Charlotte passes a "pleased with herself" smile to Sidney. He tries to avoid eye contact for fear of laughing out loud.) 

“Must just naturally have burly muscles, right?”

(Sidney sends Charlotte a sheepish grin.)

“Yeah, that’s it! Natural brute. Alright, Dad...you and Janelle have my phone number. Let’s put that lunch together.”

“We’ll see you!”

“Good to meet you, Sidney!”

“Thank you! You too!”

_________________

“Sheewww! Got through that relatively unscathed. How did you think it went, Sidney?”

"Can I give a report back at the end of the day? I want to think about things. Swimming? Really? Aren't you cute? What's this, 'I can picture it?'"

"I can." 

"Oh? You're gonna go there are ya'?"

Charlotte is starting to laugh so hard she can hardly spit out her comeback. "Uhh, yeah-uhh!" (Charlotte loses it and is very pleased with herself.)

"Oh, shiiiit. (Huuuuge grin!) I walked into that in a big way. Good one, Charlotte. Verrry good. I think your dad just got you warmed up."

She's trying to contain her laugh but is "bubbling". “Yup! I'm in my training grounds. Better watch out!" She looks at Sidney and starts well up in laughter tears. She's going to lose it again. [Whaat? I'm just picturing him swimming is all...?] 

"I liiiike you Ms. Heywood. I maybe should even say, I really, REALLY liiiike you." Sidney rubs her cheek and stares her in the eyes for a minute before giving a sweet and loving kiss. 

"Thank you for that. I'll take it. I liiike you too, Sidney." (She returns with a sweet kiss and lets go of a belly laugh.) "Love it! I did good." 

_____________________

K -“Ohhhhhh! You look so good, cousin.” (Kaye comes to grab Charlotte around the shoulders and give a hug.)

C - “Thank you, cousin! You’re sweet to say that!” (Kaye is the epitome of a RO Homecoming queen. [So was Aunt Pam.] 4 years older than Charlotte.)

KR - “Ohhhh, I gotta love on you, too, my sistah! You DO look great!” (Kari looks like Charlotte! More so than her own sister. She's 2 yrs. older than Charlotte. She has a dry spacey blond sense of humor and a great laugh.)

C - “You guys are makin’ my day, thank you!”!

AP - “I gotta give you a hug but before I do, who is THIS? Boyfriend? Companion? What do they say these days?”

C - "This is my friend, Sidney Parker. Sidney this is my gorgeous Auntie, Pam Meier.”

S - “How do you do, Aunt Pam. I hope that’s okay I call you that. He sticks out his hand and she shakes it. Sidney puts his left hand over their grip and gently squeezes.”

Aunt Pam says, “We aren’t so formal here. Gotta give this tall drink of water a hug. Welcome, Sidney.” She takes her hands from his shoulders to his biceps and gives him a swat on both arms--like she's fitting a suit. “You’re a good lookin’ kid,” and she tosses a look to Charlotte who shrugs at Sidney. [Are you? Hmmm. Haven’t noticed.] Charlotte winks.

C - “I told you this is the huggy side of the family.”

Charlotte looks around the room and all three of the Meiers women have their mouths gaping open now that they’ve heard his accent. [What a delicious voice! I'm so proud of this moment.]

K - “You’re from England?”

S - “Yes. Yes I am. Sanditon. It’s on the southern coast.”

C - “That’s where I did my studies this fall. Beautiful and very British.”

KR - “How many degrees do you have now?”

C - “My undergrad of course. 2 masters and a PhD. Four.”

AP - “Wow! She’s one smart cookie, Sidney. Look out.”

S - “So she reminds me,” and everyone laughs.

K - Wow...they are all stupefied. (Pause in the conversation.) “What do you think of the US? “ 

S - “Minnesota is COLD! The US is BIG! Driving down here was utterly miserable. I thought we'd never get here.” 

AP - “How did Charlotte wrangle you into a trip down here?” 

S - “Actually, I wanted to come. What better way to get to know someone than meeting her family and friends. Right?

C - “More like what better way for the Heywoods to blackmail me. I just pray to God the Heywoods behave themselves.”

AP - “Did anyone tell you Jason and Fredrique and Floyd are in town?”

C - “Really? Oh, my gosh! I get to see the baby! You know, this family sucks when it comes to communication stuff. Why didn’t anyone let me know!?”

AP - “Well, it was last minute. They came to surprise your dad for his 75th.”

C - “Oh, okay. I wouldn’t have been home yet. How are they?”

AP - “Good, I think. They all looked good at the party. The baby is adorable, of course.”

KR - “Well, I’m just going to keep asking questions so you talk, Sidney,” Kari teases.The whole room erupts with laughter. 

KR - "How long are you here for?”

S - “January 3rd.”

KR - “Did you and Charlotte meet at school then?”

C - “I went to Sanditon to work with Sidney's brother on their resort. Studying architecture and design. I also studied their historic buildings and homes. Some are from the 1800's. I was on a study internship for 6 weeks.

S -"I run things in the office.”

KR - "Do you have brothers and sisters?”

S - “Yes. I have a brother, that I work with, who is 10 years older. I also have a sister and brother who are 5 and 9 years younger than me."

KR - “Do you want children??“ Kari just dies laughing and the rest follow. Charlotte is in hysterics. Tears running down her face. Sidney is sitting there embarrassed.

KR - “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to embarrass you. The Meiers do that stuff all the time. You’re in the ring now. Fair game.”

S - “Thank you for that.” Everyone laughs. “Actually, Charlotte asked me the same thing. On our road trip.” Everyone turns to Charlotte for her comment. Charlotte proceeds to kick him under the table.

C - Everyone waits for her response. "Actually, it was part of game we were playing. Have you heard of Coke or Pepsi?”

C - Sidney and Charlotte lean together and she whispers. “Now you’re embarrassing ME!” 

S - “That was the idea.” (Smug smile)

Kaye asks,”What do you do, Sidney?”

S - “I’m a project manager for the resort. I am the glue, I guess you could say. I manage the finances. Keeping everyone communicating and coordinating the outcome." 

KR - “You know, I can hardly wait till Grandma Gertie meets you. She’s going to LOVE you!”

'Uh, hunh,” the others say.

C - “So, are we doing pizza and Pepsi tomorrow night?"

"We're going to do it Thursday. Lunch. ”

K - “Got the Holiday Show out at the Wilson on Wednesday. Your brother is setting up lights and sound tomorrow night.”

C -“Brother? Do I have a brother? I thought that was a nightmare. A really bad dream. Huh! Ohhh, I just noticed the time. I gotta take off--haven't made it to Scott's yet and he'll be all over it. We all definitely need a Happy Hour, right!? I can make it tomorrow or Wednesday. Let's do it!”

S - “It’s really been a pleasure meeting all of you. I’m honored I’m fair game now," Sidney smiles politely.

AP - ”Yes. We’re teasers in this family. So is Charlotte--second only to Scott!”

“Yes, I know. I have had firsthand experience,” He smiles and winks.

As a proper English gentleman he motions he is ready to hold Charlotte's door open. Charlotte has to stop, step aside and hug everybody goodbye. All three have a comment to make in her ear. Charlotte is trying not to react cause Sidney is pretending not to watch but. [I know he is dying to overhear all of this.] Charlotte basically responds by whispering in their ear, “I wanna talk when he isn’t here.” They all pull back from their hug and say, “Yes. Okay!” and smile. Charlotte eventually walks out of the door in front of Sidney and waves good bye.

Sidney turns to the group, he nods and says, “Good evening, ladies.” He flashes one of his beautiful toothy grins and closes the door..

The Miers women stare at the door and are dead silent.


	14. "Can You Do This In 2 Days?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No such thing as hiding in a small town as Charlotte told Sidney. Can you perform in this show that is day after tomorrow? That's the kind of thing that happens. Sidney is experiencing Charlotte's oldest brother, Scott, for the first time.

“Aunt Charlotte…?” Brother Scott yells from a floor away. Charlotte is doing research on the computer putting together data for a presentation. “Aunt Charlotte….?” He’s made it to this floor but is still on the other side of the house. Sidney has run in to read and sit next to Charlotte in the chair that faces her at the desk. She’s kind of curious why he’s there but he puts his book up and whispers to her “guard me.” Charlotte gets a giggle and goes back to working on the computer.

“Aunt Charlotte….” He is at least only two rooms away now. 

“Yes? What? Can you please come find me not yell throughout the house? What is it?”

“Well, Amy Ahrenholtz says that Jeannette Carlson saw you were home.”

“PAUSE right there. See Sidney this is what I was telling you about. How did Jeannette know I was in town?”

“She saw Minnesota plates on a car parked in front of our house.”

“Of COURSE she did! How long have we been parked here? A half hour? Maybe!” (Charlotte throws a glance to Sidney.)

“She was wondering if you and Ron could reprise your song for the holiday show in two days--Wednesday?”

“Two days??! Tell her no. I could never get ready in time. That was two years ago. What is she thinking?” 

“She’s thinking it’s not that big a deal because you’re such a pro and you remember stuff like that”. (Charlotte glances over to Sidney and he raises his book up and grins.)

Charlotte turns and glares at her brother…

“Has anybody even contacted Ron?”

“See Sidney. This is EXACTLY what I’m talking about.”

“Who’s Ron?” 

“Oh, he’s a good friend from high school. We sang some weddings together.”

“An old BOYFRIEND you mean.” 

“Oh, stop that. It didn’t go on for very long. Well off and on. For a while. I guess.” 

“Over years! He’d come see you even when you were married. Seemed very taken with you.”

“Until he met his WIFE! Stop it!”

“We’re good friends. Shut up, please.” Charlotte gets eye contact with her brother and mouths, “STOP!”

“I’ll call him. Takes two!” She puts the call on speaker phone

“Hey, Ron! How are you? This is Charlotte.”

“I’m very aware. Familiar lovely voice!” (Sidney smiles.) [I think so,too!]

“Merry Christmas”!

“Yeah. Thank you. You too!”

“Have you heard from Amy Ahreholtz or Jeannette Carlson?” 

“No. Why?”

“Well, they were in touch with me and they want us to do our song for Wednesday’s holiday show. Now Iiiiiii don’t know. That was 2 years ago. I’d need at least an hour to pull it together. What do you think?” 

“I think I’d need TWO hours minimum!’ (He laughs.)

“This is a you and me, all for one kinda deal.”

“I like how that sounds! (Sidney smiles and is loving this.) Can we reach Larry to rehearse?”

“Well I’m sure he’s the accompanist for the show, don’t you think? Maybe we can find him already out there…?”

“Listen, I don’t have the proper clothes. We’re gonna have to figure that out.”

“Just be sure to wear that red lace bra again.”

“Oh, you remember that, huh?”

“Who would forget THAT? That was amazing!”

“Okay...let’s leave it at that.”

“Mmmm, but I would say…”

“Stop! You’re embarrassing me!” [Not to mention my new boyfriend is sitting right here hearing this!] “Is there any way you can get Tim’s jersey? Yours is too short for comfort. So the decision is we’ll do it if we have enough rehearsal time, correct?. I’ll call Larry and get back to you.”

”Yes. Sounds good. Hey, it’s going to be great to see you again.”

(Again, Sidney pulls his book down and eyebrows go up.)

“You, too! Thank you, my FRIEND. (Charlotte glares at Sidney.) I’ll be in touch, and hope to see you soon.”

“I can’t beLIEVE this! I don’t want to perform in front of you!! Shit. Any way I can get you to stay home. Puh-leeease…?. I’ll be very, very nervous with you there. I’ll be sure you see the video”.

“Let’s consider this….Uhhhhhhhh. NO! Lookin’ forward to it! He smiles a big smile and winks. Heeeyy, fill me in on the red lacy bra?”

“Well, Ron needs to help me undress in order to get changed in time and back out on cue. He pulls the top off for me so I can put the next top on. Well, I covered myself with a camisole last time, bra underneath, and he accidentally grabbed the camisole with the blouse. I was a bit shocked but...it’s also the sexiest bra I own. Full disclosure...Ron taught tennis right next to the pool where I worked so he’s seen me in swimsuits hundreds of times.” (She smiles.) Charlotte wonders what bra she has on today and opens her collar to check. She gets a sexy grin and shows Sidney her red bra strap and raises her eyebrows.

Sidney gives the thumbs up with a little sh** grin.

Looks like the two can get some rehearsal time in yet today. “Thank GOD for Larry! He’s the high school choir director and vocal director for some small groups and soloists. Also the organist and choir director at the Presbyerian church.”

Scott feels compelled to jump in at this point, “Larry knows Charlotte real well. Ask him anything. He can give a stunning commentary on her swimsuits and how they fit her. She worked for him at the Country Club pool.”

“Scott, if you don’t stop this I will seriously leave.”

“I’m just teasing you.”

“Yes, but we have a guest among us. AAAND, where’s Jason? I want him to take the focus off me and I want to see that little Boo! “

“At Donnie’s. Says he’ll be home for dinner.” 

“How is Frederique doing?”

“Good. I think. She looks real good.”

“My brother married a French woman. They just had their first baby. Freddie had some difficulties with childbirth. She ended up in surgery. Scared us all to death “.

“Your kids?”

“Went with Mary to Sam’s club in Omaha.. They’ll be home for dinner and we figured we’d get takeout from Casa del Sol.”

“Soooooounds awesome! Margaritas? Got what we need?”

“Of COURSE! Do you like Mexican food, Sidney?”

“He’s going to enjoy it more this time.” (Sidney and Charlotte share a knowing look.)


	15. "More Damn Family!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> December 21st - Sidney is getting initiated into the family...a morning visit with Grandma Gertie and lunch with the brothers is testing his humor. He is definitely outmatched by the Heywoods.

“Hi, Grandma! It’s Charlotte.”

“Awww, Charlotte Louise. Where have you been? Why haven’t you come to see me?”

“I live in Minneapolis now, Grandma. In Minnesota.”

“Ohhh, it’s cold there.”

“Yes it IS! Now you’re starting to remember!”

K - “How you been, Grandma?”

“Good as can be expected. Who is this hunky dude?”

“Grandma, this hunky dude is my friend, Sidney. Sidney this is my Grandma Gertie.”

“Charlotte, you better marry this one.” 

“Why Grandma? You’re so funny. I don’t know Sidney that well.” (Charlotte winks at Sidney)

“Well, he’s got ‘bedroom eyes’ you’ll know him soon enough.”

[Do I dare ask?]

K -“What are bedroom eyes, Grandma?”

“One look in those eyes and you’re in bed!”

All three of the girls start shrieking in laughter. Sidney is chuckling but blushing a bit.

C - “Grandma. Don’t start with that!! Sidney won’t get our humor!”

(The girls are STILL laughing.)

“Sidney, tell me about yourself.”

Sidney proceeds to tell her where he’s from. What he does and how he met Charlotte (All she hears is “England” and his voice.) Grandma then says,”Boom. You’re pregnant. If the eyes don’t get you there the voice will.”

Charlotte shrieks out, “Ohhhhhh! Nnnnoooooooooooo!!”

Now the girls are screaming and laughing hysterically and Charlotte has picked up a pillow off the couch and is hiding her face from Sidney. She is laughing so much she’s doing the silent laughing thing. Almost looks like she’s convulsing as she’s trying to hold back her huge laugh...then she takes a breath and squeals again and falls over on her cousin sitting next to her. They’re all laughing so hard they have tears coming down their cheeks. Who is funnier? What Grandma said? The look on Sidney’s face? The horror of Charlotte’s face…? It was all toooo, too much!

Sidney is now 10 shades of red and running his fingers through his hair. He looks at Charlotte who has calmed down a bit and she's laughing again (more calmly) and puts the pillow back in her lap.

Kari speaks for Charlotte because if she talks she’s going to break into unbridled laughter again. “Now, Grandma. You’re embarrassing Sidney. You need to stop teasing. He’s not used to our sense of humor. We tease constantly in this family. Sorry, Sidney.”

“Charlotte have you not trained him in by now?”

Sidney looks at Charlotte and she starts laughing again. Eye contact? No chance. Charlotte loses it again. Pillow...goes...uuuuuuUUUP! 

“Well, you have a beautiful voice, Sidney. Charlotte, you’re very lucky. But of course you would get it right this time. He is so much better looking than Steve. But isn’t our Charlotte beautiful, Sidney? I always told her, she could be on one of my stories.” (Soap operas). 

Sidney pauses and looks at her and softly says “Yes, you’re beautiful...to be continued.” The girls say “awww” but Charlotte knows that “continued” is a double-barrel comeback when they leave. He gives Charlotte a “wince” smile. Charlotte puts her cough fist on her mouth and bites her lips in order to not start laughing again. It doesn’t work. Charlotte catches a glimpse of Sidney’s face and starts laughing all over again. Over she goes onto her cousin again.

(Charlotte holds up her finger first then opens her hand in a stop gesture. “I’m sorry. I am. I’m sorry.”

[Are you kidding me right now? Leave me alone!]

Sidney shifts in his seat and sits a little taller. Charlotte reaches over and puts her hand on Sidney’s knee so he’ll lean over and listen to her. “Sorry for laughing….not really!!” He leans back and she has a devilish grin on her face. He gives a mini-glare. That’s enough to get Charlotte laughing hysterically again. The pillow … goes ...uuuuuuUUUUP!

Charlotte composes herself and says, ”Are you coming to the show tomorrow night, Grandma?”

“I would but its been so cold,” says Gertie.

“Well, that’s okay I’m sure someone will take video and I’ll be sure to show you.”

“What are you doing? Singing and dancing?”

“Yup, I’m singing and dancing. That’s right.”

“You are so good.”

“Thank you, Grandma.”

“Kaye and Kari, how is your boyfriend hunt going?”

K - “I’m still dating Otte, Grandma.”

“Oh, good. I liked him.”

KR -“Not going too good for me, Grandma. Got any prospects for me?”

“Not really, all my friends are too old for you girls. Go hang out at McDonald’s!”

KR - “Yeah, I might have to check that out and they all smile huge grins.”

“Well, Grandma...I hate to say it but I need to get to a rehearsal. Sidney gets to go spend time with the brothers, Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumb-er!!”

S - “I do? I want to go with you.” 

“I will be back Thursday to share the video, okay?”

“Yes, sounds good. Now Charlotte, don’t forget the secret password for that rendez-vous.

“What rendez vous?

“3You and Sidney! Make sure you tell him, ‘you can eat crackers in my bed anytime.’ “

Ohhhh, the squeels start all over again and the other girls go tripping out the door in laughter. “Can you remember that password, Sidney?”

“Yes! For sure! Thanks for that!” (Sidney and Charlotte share a flirtatious smile.)

Charlotte winks. “I love you, very MUCH, Grandma." And she gives her a kiss.

“Love you, too, darlin’.”

__________________________________  
__________________________________

“Sidney...Welcome to small town America?! Figured you might like to eat in our historic firehouse cafe. We wanted to take you out for lunch and get to know you better. 

“Jason, you’ve looked better, my man.”

“Baby kept us up most of the night. (He yawns) They don’t have espresso here, do they?” 

“Jason, would any place in Red Oak have espresso? Think about it”.

[Yup. Charlotte was right about getting a decent cup of coffee.]

“Aunt Charlotte came down and took care of Calvin when he was a baby. Only there a weekend but she turned everything around; and it was the first time he slept through the night. Let her help you.”

“I may do that. I’ll talk to Freddie. Something’s gotta change—for me anyway.”

[Ahhh! Proof that Charlotte is good with kids like she says.]

“So let’s figure out what we’re eating here. I have to do lights this afternoon and sound tonight. Jason, you going to the show? "Yeah, if Frederique is doing okay. I take it she’s singing and dancing?”

“Of course!” 

“Our little ‘star’.” (Rolled eyes)

The waitress comes for orders and Scott talks Sidney into the soup of the day and a BLT. [I don’t know?]

“So, Sidney….I’m sure this looks like we’re checking you over aaaaand...we are! (They all laugh.). 

"We just want to know more about you.”

“And what my intentions are, right?” (And they all three laugh again.)  


"THAT too. Tell us about yourself! All we know is you’re from England. First, I have one question to ask though. You mean you came all this way for OUR sister? Are you cuh-raazy?!”

Jason laughs and says, ”Well, don’t make it sound THAT pathetic? Just a concerning amount of insanity.”

“I’m surprised Little Miss Prude would travel with a gentleman—a gentleman SUITOR. As she got older she understood the male mind. Better than any other and she just wanted to keep herself “safe” and out of those misleading relationships. She was proper but firm about her boundaries. If you know what I mean.”

“She’s been married for Christ’s sake! No such thing as secondary virtue. What's your point, bro'? God, I have a headache.”

The bros turn to Sidney and he puts his hands in the air. “I lose either way I answer that question...I surrender!”

The bro's loudly laugh and people in neighboring booths look over.

“OOO-KAY, let’s move on…”

“Well, I’m 35. I’m from Sanditon, England which is on the southern coast. My family is the fourth generation there of land owners and developers. I’m the second oldest of my family. I have a younger sister and brother. My older brother and I work together. I attended the University of Nottingham. Graduated with a Philosophy degree.”

“Hear that, Jason?”

“I’m a project manager of a resort that my brother is developing. He’s the visionary, I am the numbers guy. Charlotte came in to learn the process, to study the architecture from the 1800’s that we still have and did some journalism-related projects.”

Sidney laughs and says, “So...we worked together this fall and she was a lot of fun. I wanted to learn more about her so...here I am! I’m getting a huge amount of insight by being here! As she did me. She lived with my brother and sister-in-law.”

The brothers let out a huge laugh.

“Yeah. Well. Red Oak is Red Oak. You kinda need to see it for yourself.”

“Yes, It’s a really pretty town and the people are interesting.”

Jason laughs out loud, “To say the least. Pretty soon they’ll know your shit schedule!”

“Oh, it’s not THAT bad.” 

“Yes, it is! I live in France for a reason.”

“Well, I’m beginning to learn more about why she is the WAY she is by being here, in her hometown environment. Let me ask you this... What is this with multiple guys and big hugs? Are they old boyfriends? We went to the grocery store and she was holding a big hug with the owner.”

“Kerry Curtis. They did plays and musicals together. They’re friends. Never were a couple.”

“Now, why do you know or care about THAT!?” (Raising eyebrows to brother Scott.)

“I didn’t move away. Big brothers hear things.”

“Big clue...watch her body language. You can tell”. [Yes! This I already know! ]

“She was talking with Kaye and Kari and they were rattling off names and she would say, “No. A friend.’ And every so often she would say ‘yes!’ and they would say, ‘really?’ and the giggling would start. Whispering. I love watching them together!”

“I can see this, can’t you? Those girls are nuts! Definitely Red Oak cloth, crazy!"

"Is she always like this? I'd say she's super happy."

"Pretty much always, as she can be. She's the baby of us cousins, if that makes sense. It's hard to put Charlotte in any kind of category."

Seriously, I need something with caffeine. A pop?”

[“'Pop' ? What?"] 

“You two are ridiculous. Trying to explain Charlotte? Talk about ”insanity”.

Scott and Sidney vary on her definition of boyfriend. “They weren’t a ‘boyfriend’ unless she kissed them. [And that applies to me! I guess. I made the cut!]

“Well, she must have kissed a lot of guys!” (All 3 guys laugh.)

“She just could never see that EVERY guy was in love with her.”

“Well, they still are—even at her age. If she lived here we’d see that all over again, I’m sure.”

“That’s true.”

“She would be kind to one of them and would do things with them like a movie or may actually would KISS them. They’d go out for a while and she would just casually move on maintaining a friendship. It was a friendship relationship to her all along. I don’t think she realized these guys wanted more of her. You will see. Every one of them is still a friend.”

“She’s always been able to cultivate friendships with guys. Our whole neighborhood was boys. She was the only girl and one of the gang. She listens to guys and she makes them feel special. She listens well. She “gets it”, ya’ know? She’s a natural friend but she doesn’t realize the guys want more than that since she’s so used to being one of them. She had to grow out of that tomboy phase—pretty quickly.” [Oh, God. There's that "girl next door" thing. I should not have reacted that way.]

“How many “boyfriends” are there around here?”

“20,”

“Noooo. ‘Confirmed by kiss’, I’d say 3 or 4.”

“I’m still saying at LEAST 19!”

Everyone gets a great laugh from that.

“Okay, let’s get down to why I’m really here. So, I’m turning the tables. What is it you guys want to tell me, or want from me?”

Scott says, “Well, she’s my baby sister. We’re 8 and nine years older than her. She HATES when I say baby sister but with that age gap, she always was ‘the baby’ to me—to us.”

“I’m 10 years younger than my brother.”

“So, you get it. Your brother looked out for you, right?” [Yes, but YOU 2 DIDN'T, according to Charlotte!]

“Okay...so...she really had a hard time divorcing. She’s never failed at anything in her LIFE!”

“Ever!” says Jason.

“We all didn’t know what was going on with them. The violence and everything. She played a good game. But when that all broke apart she was shattered. It really damaged her self-esteem and confidence. So, I guess I’m giving you some insight that she really is more fragile than she appears. I just want to be sure you’re careful about that. I worry about her frankly. You’re the only boyfriend I know of since the divorce. Right? (Scott looks at Jason who shrugs his shoulders.) In FIVE years. She’s a cute girl! Why no dates?”

“I dunno. I don’t keep track of that stuff. She’s beautiful and don’t ever tell her I said that.”

“See, there’s something not right about that. Know what I mean?”

“She doesn’t tell me that stuff. You would know better than I. She talks to Freddie about that. Not me.”

The food arrives and Sidney is in awe of the chicken noodle soup. “Yes, it’s pretty good but Charlotte’s is better.”

“Oh, really?”

“Charlotte can make the most amazing soups. Ask her to make you some.”

“They ARE good and I don’t like that stuff. You done?”

“Go ahead.”

“So MY input here is, let her follow her dreams. She had to move to Minnesota because of Steve and she HATES winter climates. She made him her life for 5 years and they dated for 2-3 years too, right? 

“God! Why do I know this?? Ugh! So anyway, basically she put her own life on hold for him for 7+ years or so. She’s worked really hard to move beyond that heartbreak and I’d like it if she could take care of herself for once. Make decisions of her own, for herself, considering her own dreams.

“That’s gross. I sound like I know everything. I don’t. She’s a live wire—don’t get her going. Just walk away while you still can. She won’t give up a fight and she’ll never lose it. She should have been a goddamned lawyer! Now, THAT behavior has our mom written all over it.”

“Can you shut up about that? This is about Charlotte.” 

“Frankly, I’m concerned. I live in France. I know what that ex-pat Visa stuff is like. I don’t know what you guys are thinking?”

“We aren’t. I just recently was ‘kissed’. I’m the latest member of the club.” [Like, yeah. Literally, a week ago I stood in Sanditon. And TA-DA! Here I am in Red Oak, Iowa. I’m obviously madly in love.]

(They all laugh.)

“We haven’t even gotten that far yet.”

“Yeahhhhh, but you’re HERE, right? In Red Oak. You know your feelings. I can see it in BOTH your eyes. ‘Fess up.”

“Well, I loved her from the moment I met her. Where that takes me, I don’t know. Red Oak, Iowa, I guess!”

“See! I told you.”

“No comment.”

“What do you see in her eyes then?”

“She’s happy and I’m grateful to you for that.”

“That’s a wonderful compliment. Thank you.”

“Just take care of her.”

“Yeah. Remember, I don’t live that far from you. One Chunnel trip away! (They all laugh.) I figure I can get to you in 6 hours. I don’t want to have to come over there.”

I

“So, can we switch topics…? Can you tell me more about your mom and dad? Charlotte gets pretty upset when your mom comes up.”

“Where to begin…? Jason?”

“Yeah...thanks for that, brother. (glares) Well, Charlotte was my mom’s girl that she always wanted. She had given up hope. She was 34 when she had her--ancient in those days. So to Mom she was ‘the gift’. ‘Waaaaaa’!” (Jason raises the tablets of the 10 commandments to the sky.)

“Jason, c’mon.”

“She was! Am I lying??”

“She got lots of attention. Didn’t help that she was an adorable baby and child.”

[I can totally see that. I bet she was delightful.]

“She was the perfect kid and teen who excelled at everything. Goody two shoes teenager. Now how many teens are actually good kids? SHE was! C’mon. Yeah, pretty much the ideal child. My mother doted on her. And Dad did too, but he did so in ‘Dad’ ways. Cars. Motorcycles. Target shooting.” 

“Oh! Ask her and Dad to do THAT with you sometime. She kicks our butts! Charlotte shoots trap and skeet, too!”

“THAT she does and Dad never trained her—he did us! She’s a natural. Seriously.”

[That’s the third time I’ve heard that now. I gotta make a mental note of that. Knows how to handle a gun. Great shot. Yikes!]

“Anyway...So, our mom started exhibiting Alzheimer’s symptoms about the time she was divorcing. TERRIBLE timing because she could have used her mom. Our Mom is the 4th out of 5 members in her family to die from Alzheimer’s.” 

“Oh. I didn’t realize all this. Wow!”

“Our mother was, should I say, INTENSE!” 

“Sure. Yeah. You can say that (air quotes) ”INTENSE”!”

“Charlotte says she was bipolar….?”

Sc - “Yeah, we’ve talked about that. Unfortunately she was never diagnosed so she didn't get the chance to take medication that would have changed things for her. She would never go to a psychiatrist! There really was no chance of that. Even if she went to the doctor she likely wouldn't take medicine. Without that she could't get the relief she needed."

“She didn’t talk with me about that? Why didn’t YOU tell me?”

“Whatever.”

“If I could interject here so it doesn’t get awkward. We can discuss this. Charlotte told me about her disorder.”.

“Oh? She did? Thumbs up, bro’!”

“Yeah, that’s a good sign, Sidney! She trusts you!”

“I have an uncle who is bipolar so I’m pretty familiar with its manifestations.”

“Whoa...that’s going to help a lot! Her self esteem is all wadded up in that damn illness, too. She just views herself as a mess, I guess you could say. Like, unlovable.” 

“The overachiever is fallible. Hard for her to take after riding high for so long.”

(Sidney has to take that in.) [“Unloveable?” What?]

“So, that would be another message from us. When something comes up, ask yourself if it’s her or the bipolar talking.”

“For our mom, she was manic the whole time we were growing up. She was really hard to tolerate. She put people off. She had the egocentric personality.”

“She put people off? Really?”

“Jason.”

“Well, there’s no small coincidence there was an ocean between us.”

“C’mon.”

“Well, you two had a different relationship with her...the first born and the baby of the family, her little girl. Be honest about it.”

“Okaaaay, let’s move on. We can psychoanalyze later. Charlotte has since discovered our dad had a long-term friend.” [There ya’ go, a “friend”!]

“I’m not impressed. All I can say is she’s the polar opposite of Mom. THAT bothers Charlotte a LOT! She had a really good relationship with Dad. This has not resolved a bit. Oh, and, a bit of info, she moved to Red Oak in April and our mom didn’t die until July. Charlotte was livid when she heard that. I'm disappointed in his behavior as well."

“Might as well add that to her worries. Her own dad stepped out on a 54-year marriage.” 

“She worries about that in her own life! She really doesn’t want to be alone, and certainly doesn’t want to be alone in her older age. She doesn’t trust a guy could keep his promise; if her own dad can’t, who will?”

“Wow! Now that we’ve made her out to be a basket case…”

“YOU did.”

“No YOU did all the talking!”

“Point is. There’s a lot wrapped up in that pretty little package and a lot of it is just below the surface. She’s really trying to keep it all together. She’s doing a pretty good job. But there are some things that she’s still trying to sort out. You’re going to have to be super patient...Loving.”

“Trustworthy.”

Scott looks at his watch and says, “I have 15 minutes before I have to be there. Where can I drop you? It’s 5 minutes to anywhere here.”

“I don’t know. Let me send a text here. You can always just take me to your house. This town is basically all walkable, right?”

“Good point! But it is cold!”

“Before we leave, can you tell me about your mom’s silver bangles.”

“Yeah, that’s sentimental to us.”

“Oh, puh-lease…'US'? "

“Jason!! Mom wore these silver bracelets her whole life. They jingled. So you could hear her make dinner. Load something in the car, etc.”

“Hide in the dark when you come home late after curfew and you’re high as a kite and drunk. God, ‘jingle, jingle’ and you knew you were bus-ted!” 

“She talks about hearing her in the audience? Its come up since she’s performing tomorrow.”

“Oh, yeah...I know this one, too.”

“I’m sure you do.”

“Charlotte used to get some stage fright so she would say, after the overture and the audience clapped she could hear Mom’s bracelets and it would set her at ease. She’s behind the curtain and ready to go after that.”

“Wow! Well, that sounds like the Charlotte I know.”

“We are happy to say you’ve passed Phase One of the certification. Right, Jason?”

“You are so into this….leave him alone. I gotta find some major caffeine somewhere!”

“Okay. The text says ‘come to Robin’s’. Makes sense to you?” 

“Oh, yes! Now, Robin is a GREAT resource for you! They’ve been friends since they were TWO years old! Shared a lot of stuff together over the years.”

“TWO years old!?!!”

“Robin lives across the alley from Grandma GG’s.”

“Hey, how’d that go this morning at Grandma’s? Did they do non-stop jokes, teasing and laughing?”

“Do you mean shrieking? Yes.”

“Oh, God! You get them going and they won’t stop! And they laaauuuggh; it’s like being in church and you just can’t stop. Charlotte is the biggest instigator, I think. That girl...well, you’ll see.”

“Am I right?” 

“Yes, PERFECT analogy. Tons o’ fun!”

“Was it?”

“Tons and TONS!”


	16. "Robin"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a "sister" for Sidney to meet--Robin, a friend of Charlotte's since they were 2 years old. Charlotte wants to get her feedback and confirmation. Of course, everyone loves Sidney! So what does that mean to YOU, Charlotte?

“Hey, Sidney…”

“C’mon in. I’m Robin...This is my mom, Sharon.”

“Hello, Sidney. Welcome to Red Oak.”

“Thank you, it’s really nice to be here." 

“How do you like the US?”

“It’s nice. It’s big! I felt like it took forever to get here from Minneapolis. The same 6 hours you could cross my whole country.”

“How have the Heywoods been treating you?”

“Good! Really good! It’s nice to have Jason and his family here. Good to meet them and the baby. We are practically neighbors! We figured it’s about 6 hours to get from his house to where I live. Scott is constantly teasing me. Playing the big brother."

“Well, he’s always had a humorous side. All those Heywoods do!”

“Have you met Aunt Pam and the girls?”

“Yes.”

“And Grandma GG?”

“Oh, yes. That group of ladies is quite the bunch!”

“Ohhhhh, I’m afraid Sidney got caught in the teasing today. We just got to howling, us girls.”

“Try SHRIEKING!”

(Charlotte smiles and winks at Sharon.) “Yes, okay. We were beside ourselves. I still have a stomach ache from laughing so hard and working my core. It was pretty nuts. Grandma can say the most sexual, embarrassing stuff! DAaaahhhh! (Charlotte shakes her hands on both sides of her head.) In front of Sidney! O.M. Freaking.G!” (The table laughs.)

R -“And I know you, Charlotte. That type of thing sends you under the table. You can’t handle it.”

S - What’s all this?

R - This is our favorite treat. Long-standing tradition. You want some? Powdered sugar donettes/mini donuts and... 

C - ...THIS is the best chocolate milk you’ll ever drink from A&E dairy. Found only in Iowa! And junior mints. Here. Have some!"

"Uhh, no thank you. I just came from lunch. Charlotte, is that milk on ice?"

"Yup, it sure is! The best! I love it this way! Before we leave Red Oak, well Iowa, you HAVE TO try this chocolate milk. Deeeelicious! Remind me."

"Oh. Okay. Yeah, I’ll do that." (Sidney throws a look to Sharon who just nods.)

“Back to it...Sidney, something would come up in school, it could be just a kissing joke, barely sexual, and she’d turn 10 shades of red. I’m not kidding you!”

“Okay, Okay, I don’t know why but stuff like that embarrasses me. It’s PRIVATE, ya’ know?! Meant to stay private between two people...or one. (The whole table starts to laugh. Charlotte looks around and realizes what she said and starts to blush.) Awww, c’mon! You know what I mean! Stop that, Robin! (Charlotte slaps her hand on the table.) Like, here it is...whatever the topic is, I picture the situation and the people involved and I feel like I’m spying or something. Like I shouldn’t be seeing that. It embarrasses me! I can’t shut off my vision."

“Charlotte slaps Sidney on the arm...See! I’ve been this way a loooong time.”

“You could really get her going! Forget about her attending an R-rated movie! She’d fly out to the bathroom or concession stand all the time!” (Robin starts really laughing.)

Charlotte just nods and giggles. "That's true!"

“Ahhh, but we loved you for it, Charlotte. So resolute in your beliefs.”

'Thank you. Thank you. I’ve tried to always be."

R - "Well, now that we’ve turned off Sidney, let’s speak of some not so prudish behavior."

"Why does everyone call me a prude? I’m just wondering."

"Because that’s what you ARE and that’s okay, Charlotte. (Sarcastically) We love you just the way you are."

"What is it exactly?"

"Siri: Define prude " 

Siri replies: "A person who is or claims to be easily shocked by matters relating to sex or nudity,"

"OH MY GOD! I didn’t know the definition got THAT specific! Ohhh, now Iiii’m embarrassed by the damn definition! That stuff is PRIVATE! I shouldn’t be a part of whatever IT is that’s going on.! Am I even making sense?"

The rest of the room is really laughing. Probably Sidney is laughing the hardest. He’s getting tears in his eyes.

"Youuuuu….STOP! That’s not nice"! (Charlotte jokingly sneers at him.)

S - "That’s HILARIOUS is what that is. You should have seen your face!"

"Oh, my God. I gotta take a bathroom break." (And she quickly leaves the room.)

R - "Seriously, Sidney. She’s just too sweet and innocent. She’s telling the truth on all that."

S - "Sidney is still laughing but says, “Yeah, I do believe that. She’s sincere in our conversations.”

Sh - "She is so dear. She really is."

S - "So, part of the reason I’m here in Red Oak is to learn more about Charlotte. Scott says you’re a good resource having known her the longest."

Sh- "Charlotte has always been an active girl and a very sweet girl. Happy. A good heart. She doesn’t hold still. These two would run around here. Lots of energy! Lots of giggles. And now they’re two beautiful women! Sidney, Charlotte is like another daughter to me. I couldn’t be more proud of her. She’s overcome things with grace and persistence. She’s dear to many people. She’s been through a lot with that divorce. With that marriage!"

R - "Ugh. For SURE!"

Sh - "But she’s still shining. Anyone would be lucky to have her but they need to know what a gift she is for the right person. She’s learned to be sure her heart only goes to the right one.

"She’s a loyal friend. These 2 have known each other since they were TWO years old! Losing that marriage was devastating to her. They’ve been there for each other. They fight like sisters but stand by each other regardless; they show up for the other without being summoned. When Charlotte makes a commitment, she keeps it.

Sh - "I hope we haven’t scared you off in any way. With her, what you see is what you get. No pretense." (Sharon pushes her chair back from the table and stands. Sidney stands as a sign of respect.)

S - "Not at all. These have been endearing comments and I appreciate the time spent with you, Sharon. Thank you for sharing with me."

Sh - "You’re welcome, Sidney. Such a good-lookin’ kid you are!" (She pats him on the shoulder.)

(Sidney laughs. “Thank you!” Robin rolls her eyes.)

Sh -"You two make a beautiful couple. Good to meet you." (She starts to walk away and then turns back around to face Sidney.) "You know, I’m going to jump to the point here. You need to take care of her. You need to mend her heart. Be really, REALLY patient. Be very loving. Talk through things with her. She is worth every effort you’ll make. She’s devoted, loving and will return that to you many times over. Well, that’s my input--not that you asked!" 

"I hope I didn’t overstep my bounds. She’s my second daughter, you see. Good to meet you, Sidney."

S - "Yes. You too." As Sharon is leaving Charlotte is returning to the table. She gives a hug to Charlotte and they have a quick conversation. (Sidney can overhear.)

"Is he good to you? Like, truly GOOD to you? Not like Steve?"

"Yes. He’s pretty much the polar opposite of Steve."

"Well, that’s a good thing! You deserve the best this time. Don’t forget that." (Sharon points a finger at Charlotte.)

"Yes. I’m kind of excited to see where this may go…? I don’t know."

[Did she really say that? Does she mean it?]

"Well, you deserve the best, Charlotte, darlin’. I love you."

"Love you too." (They hug again and Charlotte returns to the table.)

"Okay, Sidney are you donel? I don’t think I can look at you if you’re going to continue to laugh."

"Yes, I’m done." (But he still giggles.)

"SIDNEY!"

"Okay, I’m DONE!"

"Okay, so Robin, tell a tale or two about me...be NICE!"

"Well, what should I say? I’ve been trying to think of things that have defined you growing up." 

"Okay...I will say this, as I was thinking, I would say you’re the nearest thing to Jesus but frustrating."

C - "What does THAT mean?"

S - "Yeah, go on. Now I’m intrigued."

C - "Jesus, huh? " 

R - "You’re like Jesus but you’re FRUSTRATING! Ugh! Sidney she has this way of persisting and trying to convince you of her point. She doesn’t let up, either. She wants to be sure her voice is heard. Does that make sense?"

C - "I don’t see as how that resembles Jesus!? I just went downhill fast!"

S -"Seems someone else mentioned that you need to win the debate all the time." [It's your brother. I don't know how serious I should take him.]

C - "Who said that? My brothers? Jason I bet. Compared me to mom, didn’t he?"

S - (Staring blankly, Not wanting to give anything away). "I dunno? Somebody. I’m getting very interesting reviews of you Ms. Heywood. When you hear it more than once, it makes you wonder…?"

C - "You know what dad said to him? No one asked him, he offered up! ‘That one will shoot all but the last bullet in order to hit the target. She doesn’t give up. But, she’d have it picked off right away anyway. My point is, she’s persistent. She doesn’t give up.’ “

R - "THAT’S what I mean. You’re persistent until you think you’ve been heard. You’re persistent until you figure out the problem. You don’t walk away from any problem. I've really never seen anyone like you in that regard. Hell, I don't recall any problem that you haven't figured out for the better?! We ran out of gas just outside of town. It was a manual car. We pushed it until it was coasting down the hill--jumping in at the last minute. She popped the clutch at the bottom of the hill and we made it to the gas station on fumes. Of course, that was her spacey self who hadn't filled up since Minneapolis!"

S - "A fighter? A problem solver and completely clueless all in one? Is that what I’m hearing?" 

R - "Well, let's say, she solves every problem and fights for a cause. It’s not just for the sake of fighting. Aaaand, for as smart as she is she can be quite spacey. Just sayin'."

"She’s the one you want in your corner. She’s very strategic, too. Just don’t piss her off, Sidney! You’ll be fine!" (Robin laughs out loud.)

Back to Jesus:  
She fundamentally knows what’s right and wrong and she lives her life that way  
Always strives to do the right thing  
Not judgemental and doesn’t react like others would  
She lives her faith and teaches others in a subtle way  
She’s very kind to others  
She’s emotional. The well-being of others affects her deeply."

(Sidney smiles.)

"'I’ve been crying on his shoulder practically every day since he’s been here. A blubbering idiot and I’m not kidding you. Embarrassing. Right, Sidney?"

"It’s all good. It’s my job. Its been EVERYday, by the way." (Sidney sweetly smiles to Charlotte.)

"Truly, I don't know what my problem is. I'm usually not a train wreck."

"Well, it's because you've had no one to cry TO or WITH all these years!"

[That totally makes sense to me. I don't mind, really.]. (Sidney smiles and nods to Charlotte.). "Well, thank YOU, Robin!"

"Aww, you know I love ya’ Char. I mean all that in a good way. I don’t know anyone else who picks up a cause like you do. You’re just-minded! That’s a good thing!"

"You were a stalwart tomboy. I’d go down to the crick with her Sidney to walk the rocks...she could jump each and every one—no problem. I struggled and I would fall off and she would LAUGH!"

"Because it wasn’t as big a deal as you were making it. You got wet. So what? I was trying to lighten the mood. You’d get so upset."

'She was a real tomboy--climbed trees, caught salamanders and swam with the leeches. She had this gang of guys she hung out with."

(Sidney raises his eyes in question to Charlotte.) "Leeches? Really?"

C - "Yeah, to that extreme."

R - "You didn’t come down there very often, Robin. That was me and the boys, mostly."

C - "Yes. True."

[Okay. That’s the second time I’ve heard that one of the gang stories. I feel like a total jerk. She tried to tell me she had meaningful relationships with guys since childhood. And obviously, she was that "girl nextdoor" like she tried to explain. I knew I hurt her by not believing her and down-playing what she was trying to tell me. The jealousy/anger thing was taking over at that point. I could see the hurt on her face when I blew off what she was saying. I need to apologize and I need to do that soon.]

"She’s always loved to sing and is very good. A beautiful voice. My Grandma Tucker would always talk about the school concert where Charlotte was acting out Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer—with much 'glee'! We would have been kindergartners—5 years old.

"She’s loyal but selective about her friends. They better treat OTHERS right or they don’t make the cut.

"Oh, yes...she had boyfriends that adored her. Broke some hearts, big time."

S - "Really? How interesting, Ms. Heywood."

"Yeah, she already had a new one in place before she broke up with the last one."

Charlotte just sits there and darts eyes between Robin and Sidney—looking for a response in their eyes. 

S - "Is this true, Charlotte?"

R -"YES! It’s true!"

C -"WHAT?!! Robin! Really? You couldn’t think of anything else to share??"

R - "It’s TRUE!"

(Charlotte tips her head way back in the chair then nods forward.) "Yes. Okay. It’s true. I was not kind in that regard. They would have plenty of hints that it was coming, though. I always tried to be considerate. I always tried to remain friends. We are! We’re friends now! All of them."

"She broke hearts. BIG time. The boys always liked Charlotte. She just thought of them as friends."

[I've heard that before, too. I can see her that way.]

"Can I talk about your mom?" 

"Okaaaay…? What about her?"

"Well, SHE shaped you more than anything."

"Her mom was a very beautiful, very striking, woman. She was classy. She had very classic good looks. She was a presence. She most definitely was the matriarch of that family. She ran the roost!"

"Very well educated and smart! Worldly educated, too. How many times did she go to Europe?"

"9 times. Starting at 21 with her Aunt. Wow, I guess that is a lot. Considering she was 72 when she died. Last time I think she was 65, to see Jason." 

"See?"

"She spoke French, fluently. Right?"

"Yes. So did my Grandmother. Both AMAZING women. I’m very fortunate. I know that."

"Where was she from?"

"She grew up a Navy brat and traveled seasonally between Narragansett, Rhode Island and San Diego, California. After the war Popper went back to his hometown of Maryville, Missouri and created a multi-million dollar business. You met him once."

"Oh, yeah! Geesh, what a presence! He was big! Like a statue."

"Interesting guy. Civil Engineer. He trained boxers. Professional trumpet player. Wrote poetry. And probably wasbipolar. Egocentric type. And likely a genius if you ever tested him."

"Well, your mother saw things that people in Red Oak have never seen. She wanted to provide some of that culture here. She was able to do a lot of good in this community. Like we’ve said about Charlotte; she took up a cause and ran with it." 

"Ahhh, yes. But made enemies along the way."

"Well, she wasn’t going to take anybody’s _____. She had a GOAL, right? She was like, 'get outta my way'. She was always very nice to me."

""Yeah, she was, wasn’t she? Consistently nice. That wasn’t always the case with other friends. She knew you were my best friend, I bet."

"I’d like to see a picture of your mom."

"I have them at home. Just remind me. I have some really good ones from the wedding."

[I'm not really wanting to see those photos, Charlotte. She doesn’t even realize what she said. That marriage is still at the forefront of her subconscious. Why? Is this her sense of “failure”? “Unworthiness”? (Sidney leans back away from the table and sighs.) Why? I don’t know what to do here. 

I don’t see her like that at ALL but yet it comes up--a LOT! I don’t know. Iiii feel like a “failure” at all this “boyfriend" stuff, frankly. Look at her smile and laugh. THAT’S what I see. But, I also see the tears and hear about her insecurity. Ugh! I need to step up and help her gain her confidence. (Man!) Join the conversation, Sidney. Smile...]

"Any more incriminating things to tell about me, Robin?"

"Not incriminating. You have many long term friendships and in this day that speaks volumes. You’re a good and loyal and loving friend."

"I’m observing the same. I’m impressed by that." (He winks to Charlotte.)

"Awww, thank you ‘Bobbin’! That’s very sweet of you to say."

"Sidney, do you have anything specific you want to know about Charlotte?"

"What’s her greatest love or ambition?"

(Without hesitation) "It’s children. She’s great with kids! She wants to be a Mom someday. Oh, oh...is it okay if I say that?"

(Sidney and Charlotte exchange a knowing look.)

"Too late now! (Charlotte laughs heartily with Robin.) Why do you do stuff like that to me? OFTEN!" 

"I just answered the question, truthfully. I didn’t think it through. It’s, okay isn’t it?" 

"Yes. That’s fine." (Charlotte smiles a sweet smile at Sidney. His eyes respond.)

"Well, honey bunch. Unfortunately, we have to get going. These three days are packed! Thanks for being FAIRLY kind to me today. Next time is YOUR turn. Bring Curtis!"

"Where is he, by the way?'

"Arizona."

"Why?"

"I thought you had to leave...?"


	17. "The 'L' Word" (Finally!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time! It finally feels right to mention "love". Charlotte is not running! (Nervous but not running! That's progress, right?)

Charlotte is sitting in the big recliner chair in the tv room while Sidney is listening to the soft murmur of her voice in the bedroom next door. All he can do is dream of her laying beside him in the bed they’re supposed to be sharing. He’s aching for that.

Floyd lets out a cry and she quiets him down with her lyrical and soothing voice. Apparently part of the technique is talking and holding the baby a certain way, too. Plus some tongue ticking. And then there’s just the energy shared with the baby. Charlotte. She’s the biggest factor.

He’s been listening to this soft murmur going on next door for an hour or so. It is calming and peaceful. [Her voice is calling me, I swear.] Main thing, he just wants to be with her right now.

Sidney comes and leans against the door frame. He just stands there and watches. Charlotte sends him a sweet and loving smile. 

[I’m not sure what I’m seeing!? Maybe I’m dreaming but she is...a...vision! Like, I can’t believe how much I love this girl, right now! Sidney, what ‘s wrong with you? Tell her!]

When there’s a break in the action Sidney motions asking if he can come there. Charlotte nods and puts a shhhh finger on her lips. He goes to her, kneels down and just stares. [She is so beautiful.] He puts his hand on her cheek, pushes her hair back and says,

“Charlotte Heywood, I couldn’t be any more in love with you than I am right now.” He gives her a sweet kiss—he’s a little scared what her face is going to say when he pulls back. 

Charlotte is smiling sweetly and is searching in the darkness for his eyes. “Thank you for being the first one to say it. I love you too, Sidney Parker. Please come to me so I can kiss you. I can’t really move.” They kiss in an awkward position and laugh.

Floyd has fallen asleep and she lays him in his bassinet. She goes to lay down on the couch and Sidney grabs her arm. “Please tell me you’re going to sleep with me…?” 

“Two people just professed their love for each other and are supposedly doing nothing in bed? C’mon, Sidney. We can get lost in our kisses sometimes! Besides, this is my brother’s house. Too weird. I literally feel like ‘Big Brother’ could be watching or something.”

“I promise, I won’t do anything—just spoon with you.”

“You know what? Bottom line..I don’t trust myself! (She pats his chest) So, go. The baby is my priority.” 

“I love you,” and Charlotte waves.

____________________________

The next morning Charlotte is awakened by whispering, not the baby. He’s put in 5.5 hours worth of sleep so far—the most ever! She is huddled under a blanket on the couch. Listening and trying not to smile.

“Well, I guess we have the answer to that question. Still putting up boundaries. Still a prude.”

“But you know, I come back to this now and again. Now that I have a girl. Remember when we were teasing her that one Christmas, she was in college so her virginity was a big joke to us? We were at GG’s. Do you remember this?”

“I dunno? Kinda…?”

“Mom came up to us and basically said ’knock it off!’ Then she said, ‘You be grateful she IS a prude. Consider the alternative.’ “

“Oh, yeah...Jesus, how do you remember this stuff?”

“Because, upon further consideration...YES! I’d rather have a sister who’s a prude than worry about a slut.”

“I need coffee, bro’. Too soon...coffee first.”

___________________________________________

"Okay...I’m going to show you around my hometown, Mr. Parker. Are you game?"

"Sidney looks up from his iPad, smiles and nods. Well, put an extra layer on, we’ll be walking outside."

"You know, I love this but I’m hoping it doesn’t turn you off."

"Why would it do that?"

"Red Oak was a lot prettier when I was growing up. There weren’t empty lots where houses had been and we now torn down."

"Our town square had shops in the buildings, not offices. Women’s clothing stores, JC Penney’s, 2 drugstores, 2 jewelry stores, Hallmark, Appliance store, 2 cafes, 2 shoe stores, Hardware store, a 5 and dime store, 2 mens’ clothing stores, etc. It was a beautiful, bustling little place. Very idyllic. Small town Americana."

"Thursday nights the businesses stayed open later and it was a big gathering event."

"Anyway, this is Fountain Square park. It is dedicated to the soldiers who lost their lives in WWII. Our county had the highest number of casualties per capita. We are the county seat of Montgomery county thus our outstanding courthouse. I’ll be taking you to the war museum later."

"This is our movie theater. I went there every Saturday. You will soon find out I’m a movie freak and I’ll trade you time going to whatever your passion is. And up here is our Post Office. There is historical significance but that I don’t remember. Isn’t it beautiful? I used to dream about shoving my brothers down those steps!" (25 straight up white marble steps.)

"Sidney turns and looks at her and waits for her to realize what she’s said. Charlotte keeps driving and glances over at him. “What? My brothers deserve to be punished! Oh believe me, payback will be hell.” (And she smiles.)

"Okay, this is my church that I grew up in—the Presbyterian Church. I spent my whole life going there. Sunday school, Youth Group and 5 years of choir. My friend, Larry, has been the organist for years! You will meet him as he’s the pianist for tonight’s show. I love him! Lots of history with him. I’m sure he’ll bee line right for you tonight and I’m sure he’s already heard about you. (Charlotte winks) Yes, this is the small town “shit” that goes around Red Oak."

"No, Charlotte. You said “I’ll trade you time going to whatever your passion is. You come with me. I’ll go to yours. Does that mean there’s a future for us?"

"I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to assume."

"No. Are you seeing a future for us, Charlotte?"

"Please don’t do this to me. What if I say the wrong thing? What do you want to hear from me? (Charlotte is getting anxious.) Uhhm, this is the Rifle-Elwood house. It's been featured in a book titled "Painted Ladies". My Grandpa was a painter and painted that one at least 3 times as I grew up here. An absolutely beautiful Victorian home, one of many on the Heritage Hill tour."

[My God, that ‘s a beautiful home. Wait, I’m not tracking here. One thing at a time... ]

"Charlotte, I’m just pointing out that you mentioned our future, casually in conversation like it’s a given. Did you mean to do that? Or was it that subconscious talking that you do? What do you see for us?"

"Well, I just said it automatically. I know I shouldn’t presume anything. You’ve not made a commitment to me or anything. I guess it just kind of came out. I guess. Is that bad?"

"No. Come here. He pulls her over with his hand on her cheek and kisses her. I told you last night that I loved you...and that’s a commitment." 

"Charlotte looks at him. Questioning the reality of this moment. She looks into those beautiful [I could get used to this!] brown eyes and says, "I still can’t believe you followed me here." She leans into him to give a kiss and whispers, "I love you, too. And Sidney...that’s super, SUPER scary for me.”

“Yes, I know.” Sidney rubs the side of her face with his thumb and gently kisses her forehead. “I know.”

.


	18. "Passing The Test"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's no way Sidney is going to get out of town without passing the (are you good enough to be) family test! Heywoods and Meires are doing their last evaluation.

"Who’s having wine? Charlotte I know you’re red. Kari? “Red, please.” “I’ll do white,” says Kaye. And so will I . Okay girls, we’re going to toast to Girl Power, Girl Hour. Cheers!"

"Okay, let’s watch the clock cause Charlotte needs to be home in time to prep for tonight. But….we gotta hear about this new man."

KR - "Okay, I’ll start this. What the HELL?! He is HOT! (Everyone laughs.) I mean, seriously? He is soooo good looking. How can you STAND it?!"

C - "Okay, I have to be honest...I CAN’T!? (Everyone laughs) I look at him throughout the day and say, 'How did this ever happen to me?' The cute guys didn’t want to date me. I was their friend but never a girlfriend. And I catch myself looking at him throughout the day and I have to just say, 'Whoa.' I can’t believe he’s interested in me.

K - "Oh, I think he’s more than 'interested'. Do you not see the way he looks at you? Charlotte, he’s in love with you."

KR - "Oh, yeah. Wouldn’t you say, Mom? Did you notice that?"

AP - "He kept looking at you and he’d just watch you. Like your mannerisms. Your smile. I would agree. There’s more there than you’re noticing. But hey, I want to hear what led up to this. How did you get him to come home?"

C - "Oh...that’s a long story."

K - "Start with the basics...how old is he?"

C - "35."

K - "What does he do?" 

C - "He’s the Project Manager on a resort development that his brother is doing. It’s on the southern coast of England. The town is called Sanditon."

K - "And you worked there? What did you do?" 

C - "I was a student. On an internship. I was there to study architecture--the design process of developing their resort. There also were historic buildings from the 1800's that I studied.

KR - "So you worked together? Is that it? Oh, Lord...I’d never be late to work again!" (Everyone laughs.)

C - "Yes, we worked together, joked together, did a lot of teasing. I did love going to work each day."

AP - "So then what happened? You went out? Fell in love? He follows you here?"

C - "Not exactly...I really tried to steer clear of a relationship with him. I’m just not ready for sharing my life with someone. I readily admit I still have too much baggage to open up and deal with. Well, he wasn’t taking no for an answer. He kept pursuing me pretty much the whole time."

K - "Of course! You’re such an ideal person to be with?!"

C - "He walked me home one night, we kissed and I just left for home without telling him. I knew I had done the wrong thing. I had gone the whole 6 weeks without letting him in and I blew it that night."

"I tried to leave without saying good bye and he figured out my flight info and bought a ticket! He just showed up, standing over the top of my seat!?" 'Is this seat taken?'"

KR - "Oh, my God! That’s so romantic!?"

C - "It really is, isn’t it? Ahhh!? (She shows shivering in her hands.) What’s happening to me?? I was so pissed for him imposing himself on me but he’s been such a gentlemen this entire time. On the plane he knew to bring me a recording of one of my favorite songs to listen to. He said it was because he couldn't put the words and thought together. THAT was pretty amazing, I will say! God brought us together in the most bizarre way, didn't he? Right?"

C - "You know, I was able to put him off until that last week. He walked me home, we kissed and I was sunk. I didn’t know he was going to pursue me regardless. I freaked out and left a few days early and did not say goodbye to him. He came after me and basically TOLD me he’s coming to the US with me. So, here we are. He pretty much said he wants to get to know me so he wanted to come home so...here it is! Red Oak in all it’s glory! I’ll take a little more wine. Just a half." (Which is a full fill.)

KR - "I’m not just saying here at Mom’a house. He did the same thing at GG’s house. He got a huge smile when he saw how much fun YOU were having! That boy LOVES you, Charlotte." (Charlotte just shuts up!?)

C - "That’s because we kept laughing. We were scaring him."

K - "Not hardly. True love and admiration; that's what that was. So, tell me, he’s staying at your house?"

C - "Yes, I have that apartment in my basement. I set him up there. Aaaand, it’s been great! I just can’t get into something right now. I’m still psyched out from my divorce. You know, you deal with all that stuff when you divorce but when you try to move on to another relationship it just opens up all that crap again. That kind of thing makes me want to run and hide."

K -" I know. You have said that before. That’s okay. You do what works for you. I’m telling you, Charlotte. There’s no mistaking that look. Has he not said anything?"

C - "Welll, as a matter of fact. Last night he did tell me he loved me for the first time. EEEEEE!" (Charlotte school girl screams.)

All - "Oooooooo! That’s great! I love it! How exciting! Oh, how did that happen?"

C - "It was so very sweet. I was working with Floyd and his sleeping and he appeared in the doorway. He just stood there and watched me. Then he came over and said, get this (I swear, I’ll never forget it), 'Charlotte Heywood, I have never loved you more than I do right now.'”

All -"AWWWWWW! Oh my gosh! I’m getting goose bumps! Now THAT is romantic!"

C -" I KNOOOOWWWWW! How could I ever get this lucky? Stuff like this doesn’t happen to me. Know what mean? I’m just in a fog. Today he told me that his 'I love you' was him making a commitment. Of course, I was freaking out! I failed to ask what KIND of commitment!?" (She laughs!)

"I am so excited! And at the risk of jinxing everything, I told him I loved him, too. Ahhhhhh! I’m so scared and excited!"

K - "Well, Charlotte...there’s no one who deserves it more. That shit that you put up with with Steve was horrible. I don’t know how you did it as long as you did. This is your reward for being a good person. He recognizes that. That’s why he wants to be with you."

C - "Ohhh, thank you cousin."

AP - "We were talking about this when you left. How happy you seemed and how long it’s been since we’ve seen you this happy."

C - (Tearing up). "Yeah, I guess that’s right. Its been a long, long time. I’ve forgotten what it feels like."

KR -"Oh, God - and his VOICE! I don’t know how you keep your hands off of him! " (Everyone laughs)

K - "Yeah, he said 'Good night, Ladies' to us the other night and we just stood there, dumbfounded. You must pinch yourself mid conversation sometimes, right? I mean, come on!" 

C - "He did that? Oh, I love it when he does things like that. So British, it makes me swoon! I'm sorry but no American guy comes close. He truly is winning my heart." 

AP - "Yeah, he’s one pretty package!" (Everyone laughs.)

K - "Now, jumping ahead. Where would you guys live?"

C - "Ohhhh, that would be something we negotiate. There’s pluses and minuses for each place. I think it would come down to where the other one can get work. It’s a little dreary in England. But, Minnesota has long, harsh winters, so…..??? Is it dumb to say I’d just go wherever he is, no job needed--initially?"

All - "No, not at all. I think that’s good. See! You love him. He loves you, clearly. You two need to get married. We just figured it all out for you!" 

C - (Laughing) "Oh, you guys! I’ll do another half glass of wine. (She pours a full). I’m going to be buzzing through tonight’s performance! Sidney will be there. I’m dreading that. It’s making me particularly nervous!!"

"Didn’t he know you had a performing background.?"

"No. We never discussed anything like that."

"Well, we’ll be sitting with him. I’ll report back to you."

KR - "As you Heywoods always say...'Break a leg!' What does that mean, anyway?"

_______________________________________  
___________________________________________

“Hey, Sidney! I was hoping you’d come with me and see our latest venture. It’s a re-development of our jr. high building into apartments. You can see it over there—just a block away.”

“Oh, wow! That’s going to be exceptional when it’s done. Sure! I would love to go! Right now?” 

“Yes.”

“Just a minute.” Sidney shuts off his electronics, grabs his coat and phone and heads out the door.

The two are walking quickly as the wind has picked up. “Is this Phase 2 of the certification, then?”

“You will get extra credit points added to your final score! You’re a smart one, Sidney. What is your last name? I don’t even know.”

“It’s Parker. Sidney Parker.”

“Charlotte Parker?” Brother Scott shrugs his shoulders and winks. Scott opens the door and Sidney lights up. 

“This is massive! Such potential. My brother, Tom, would love this. May I take pictures and video?”

“Oh, sure. Whatever you want. I want to bring Charlotte over before you leave. You can do it then.”

“I appreciate you bringing me here. This is right up my alley. I really like reuse. We do new builds in Sanditon, for the resort, but I’ve always wanted to consider reuse.”

“Okay...what is it? We can stand and small talk later.”

“Well, Sidney when you said you were the ‘numbers man’ for your company I knew I had to disclose this. Charlotte would eventually but she would feel exceptionally guilty for keeping it from you and/or she could easily make it a reason to run and not tell you at all.”

“I’m curious,” Sidney stands straight and crosses his arms.

“Okay. Charlotte had to declare bankruptcy a year ago in order to save her house from foreclosure. She won the house in her divorce but can’t afford the payment as a student. She thought she’d be done with school last spring but obviously, wasn’t. Anyway, that one is so persistent and resourceful...She is renting her house and SHE lives in the basement. She did rent her basement for 4 years. She needed to switch places. I bet she told you the other way around, right?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah. There’ a big pride factor there. She’s also in love with the house. She restored it from top to bottom.”

“It’s definitely loved.”

“Well, she’s strapped with debt for a while. She has a payment to a trustee for the bankruptcy settlement plus the regular house payment. She’ll have student loans and that car is nearly 12 years old. She just isn’t in a good place financially. Yet another thing to stress her out and worry her.” 

“Of course, I don’t want to scare you away with all this but I felt you should know so you aren’t blindsided and so you can help. Her DAD should be having this talk with you, not me, buuuut….”

“Scott, what’s ‘all this’ that you mentioned? There’s more?”

“Am I changing your mind about her? Please be honest.”

“Not at all. The girl is a butterfly. She flits from room to room!! With effort we’ll get her stuff organized and under control. That’s my strength in all this. Of course, she’ll have to get a JOB!!” (And they both laugh.)

“The butterfly stuff...she has ‘Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Inattentive Type’. In the biggest way. Are you familiar with that?”

“ Yes, I am. My brother, Arthur, has ADHD. He needs bridled in sometimes." 

“It’s a lucky thing your family has insight to these disorders. My son has ADHD as well. We can compare notes! He makes Charlotte look like nothing—still a caterpillar!” (They laugh.)

“The next thing is very personal for her. You’re just going to have to let her tell you. She had been married a couple of years and she had an ectopic pregnancy. Are you familiar with that?” 

“Yes. I know what that is.”

“Well, they took one of her Fallopian tubes. But there’s two! My wife lost an ovary when pregnant with Calvin and we still had two more children. The doctor explained it to me this way, ‘God gave the woman two of everything so she could procreate—always a back up’. That really helped me at the time.”

“Since I know you two are talking children I wanted you to know that it may take longer to get pregnant but she can conceive.”

“Talking children?”

“Yeah, up at Miers’! Didn’t that come up? Oh, Sidney, don’t ever say something to a relative unless you don’t care if everyone finds out!? Apparently Kari asked you about it but so did Charlotte?”

“Oh, God! Yeah, I guess so. It was a JOKE!” 

“Well, according to them it wasn’t You talk babies and EVERYONE’S ears perk up in this family!! All premature, I’m aware. But I wanted you to know that in case she tries to ruń because of that?? She’s full of ‘it’s time to run away’ excuses as I’m sure you’ve experienced.”

“Okay, so here’s my phase 3. Off the cuff tell me what she means to you. Or a story about you guys or….whatever."

“Oh, wow! I wasn’t expecting this! Uhhh, okay….’’

“When I met her for the first time I knew she was the woman I wanted to marry. You hear that “love at first sight” stuff but I never thought it was true. I remember her walking out the door that first time and saying to myself, ‘did that just happen?’. Well, come to figure out with HER wanting and getting are two different things! She had everything I was looking for. Smart! Beautiful—authentically beautiful. She had a smile and a laugh I couldn’t get out of my mind. It kept me up at night. She had the best sense of humor. We laughed together all the time. We always had a lot of fun at work. I looked forward to seeing her everyday in the office. 

"I tried for WEEKS to get her one-on-one. She insisted on group dates, family dinners and walks on the beach with my nieces, nephew and sister-in-law joining in. She seemed to make sure that not much time would go by without having a third person in the office—she would make an excuse and leave if someone didn’t show up! I was getting really discouraged. She was a professional escape artist and I was running out of time! I had not really connected with her and she was leaving in three days! Somehow I got to walk her home that night and we kissed! That was Friday and she was to leave Monday. I joined the ‘boyfriend club’, that night, I guess. 

“But she took off on me! She left early and ran away that weekend! On that Sunday I found out she had gone. I didn’t know for sure what day, what airline, what time…??”

“That’s her MO. Goes back to that feeling of being unlovable and undeserving. Flight or fight? It’s allll flight with her.”

“Well, luckily I caught her on the plane and here we are. I love her, Scott. I know that! It’s becoming overwhelming how much. I saw her with the baby last night...how beautiful they were together. I told her I loved her for the first time. We’ve been dating for 8 days and I could marry her tomorrow. That’s how sure I am. I know she is the woman I’m meant to marry. I need to earn her trust and she needs to let me in. So far, she hasn’t tried to run away again.”

“You know, she is amazing with kids. She’s the 'baby whisperer' for infants.” 

“She told me that she was but I didn’t know she’s like, gifted! When I saw her last night I pictured her with our own children so obviously, I’m pretty taken with her aaaaand I’m getting waaay ahead of myself here, aren’t I? (Sidney smiles nervously.) I don’t know...I’ve never been in a relationship like this before and I don’t want this to end.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay, sniff-sniff and all that. (Scott teases.) Okay, you passed phase three and have earned your certification. APPROVED! By the BETTER brother! Congratulations! 

“I’m going to ask this of you...put the pieces of her heart back together. That girl who sailed so high is in there somewhere. She needs reminded. 

“I wish you could have seen her. She was magnetic! Full of laughter and so spirited and feisty but also very introspective, sweet and sanguine—you needed that in our household. Be really patient with her. Earn her trust. Every once in a while I’ll see her jump at loud noises or she’ll leave the room if people are arguing on tv. Just be gentle with her. She’s already paid the price.

“Okay, Parker, sniff-sniff and all that. Bring any Kleenex?”

Sidney says, “Wait a minute.” He takes off his coat and holds out his sleeve. It takes a second for Scott to catch on and then he starts laughing and pushes his arm down saying (in a whiny girl voice), ”Ewww, that’s GRODY!” They both start laughing and Sidney puts his coat back on. 

“Now, Sidney, at home I have a surprise for you!! Dad was the staff advisor for our Highschool yearbook for 35 years so he has one book for every year. I grabbed ‘94,’95 and 1996 for you! You’ll see what I”m talking about. She had a bright light within her. As her brother I was so glad to see her come out of our home life with optimism. Happy. She’s resilient, I’ll tell you that!! I’ll let Charlotte explain all that. It wasn’t easy for her.”

“And if she doesn’t? Can I come to you? As I said, she likes to avoid things." 

"Of course. Any time. I first want to give her a chance to open up to you. Here’s some insight for you...when things are difficult with another meaningful person or if it’s hard for her to understand or justify their behavior she just takes herself out of the picture. She leaves. Either physically or emotionally. Survival technique, I’m sure. She learned that coming from our home and probably in that dysfunctional marriage.”’

"If it’s any consolation, she must have liked you! You had a meaningful relationship with her of some kind or she wouldn’t have done that. She wouldn’t have fled so readily. The kiss probably confirmed it for her so she freaked out and ran. The girl’s a hot mess but worth it—and I mean that in the kindest way! Between you and me, she’s always been hard to tame. She’s like a freaking butterfly! You try and reach out and touch her and she’ll see your shadow, dodge and fly off. She can’t light upon one thing to save her life!"

[Like her multiple degrees in varying fields, perhaps?]

Sidney stands there and tries to understand what Scott is saying. [I was significant to her already? What? Waaaaait...what now? I’m not paying attention here. Back to the moment…]

“Thank you, Scott. That will be fun. Are there cheerleader pics in those yearbooks?” Sidney winks.

“Oh, yes. 3 years worth and multiple teams.

"I’m looking forward to this!”

“Oh, I remember there was one thing I wanted to tell you….midwesterners do a lot of hugging anyway. Greeting and leaving so don’t get too concerned about Charlotte. She’s a BIG hugger. She hugs everybody practically! You’ll know who the old boyfriends are. Watch the body language. 

“But remember, they’re all just friends to her. She always parted as a friends with guys. It’s like a foregone conclusion for her. Don’t waste your time and energy getting jealous. It just attests to her ability to bond with others. Got it?” (Sidney nods.)

[Yeah. I get it. Another example of how I need to humble myself and profusely apologize to Charlotte for my dumb ass behavior that night. Jealousy. Anger. Not my best combination.]

"Good man!" The two leave the building to walk the block and a half back home. Scott slaps Sidney on the back. “I knew I would like you, Parker.”


	19. "Baby It's Warm Outside"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte is performing in the community holiday show. Sidney gets to "see her in her element" and comes across Boyfriend #1, #2 and #3. The two of them are falling more in love now that they're sharing their feelings more freely.

Charlotte and Ron are the last set. The curtain opens to Charlotte in a lip lock with Ron. The music starts and it’s the familiar duet of “Baby It’s Cold Outside” but during the interlude it changes theme and is hilarious! “Baby It’s Warm Outside” and the man is trying to persuade the woman to leave. Sidney is mesmerized and has a smile plastered on his face. [ I had NO idea she was so GOOD!]

“Baby It’s Cold (Warm) Outside” (1)  
Performed by Jimmy Fallon and Cecily Strong  
“Saturday Night Live” 

I really can’t stay  
Baby it’s cold outside  
I got to go away  
Baby it’s cold outside  
This evening has been...  
Hopin’ that you have been  
...so very nice  
I’ll hold your hands  
They’re just like ice

My mother will start to worry  
Beautiful what’s your hurry  
My father will be pacing the floor  
Listen to the fireplace roar  
I really can’t stay  
Baby don’t hold out  
Oh but it’s cold outside

***

So should I call you a cab?  
Baby it’s cold outside  
You know it’s really not bad  
Baby it’s cold outside

You can still catch the bus  
I’d make breakfast for us  
It’s just a few blocks away  
Tomorrow we’ll hang out all day

I have an early thing tomorrow  
Do you have a toothbrush I can borrow?  
I have a meeting at my work  
The last guy wasn’t a jerk

You really can’t stay  
It’s starting to storm out  
But baby it’s warm outside

Are we still on for next weekend?  
I have no idea what you’re talking about  
You said you’d take me antiquin’  
I have no idea what you’re talking about

You said it when you…  
(Right.)  
...Bought me those drinks  
Baby I said a lot of things

Do you really think I could ask  
Can’t believe I said that  
You know this isn’t my coat  
Can you take the trash when you go

I should stay and play  
She’s not getting it  
Baby it’s cold (warm) outside

[phone rings]  
Hello?  
Hey man you want to hang out?  
Oh, of course, the important meeting  
What are you talking about?  
The meeting got pushed even earlier?  
Oh, are you with a girl?  
Yeah. That’s correct.  
Okay, I’ll leave you alone  
Okay boss, I’ll see you in the morning

Mind if I sleep in this (a football jersey)  
This is getting too serious  
You know I’m just as nervous as you  
But who knows what this could turn into

I don’t know what to do  
Here’s a clue (kiss)

Baby it’s cold outside

There’s a sweet kiss at the end. [Oddly enough I do get a strange feeling about that. Ugh! Sidney. Grow up already. Am I thinking of the 2 guys in one night in Minneapolis?] Charlotte and Ron intertwine fingers, hold hands and take a bow. Ron gives her a peck on the cheek and Sidney thinks, “Why does this bother me?"

Brother Scott starts yelling “Bravo! Bravo!" like Mom used to do. Totally embarrassing but people would know it was Mom in the audience and she was proud of her kids. You also could hear her silver bangles jingling. 

Sidney’s got the lip whistle down, like Aunt Pam and they have some fun.

Charlotte and Ron go out to be part of the receiving line of performers so Sidney is standing near the family group consisting of both brothers, both cousins and Aunt Pam. People are walking by noting the stranger, that’s for sure. Sidney is admiring Charlotte from afar--greeting people, smiling and laughing. All of the sudden she lets out a little squeal and wraps her arms around a guy. Sidney looks over at brother Scott who looks over to see who it is. Charlotte is animated and smiling and laughing. Scott says, “Oh, that’s Chris Hampton." Sidney asks, “Another boyfriend?’ Scott responds, “Yepper! Dad likes to call him 'The General'. He is one. Fast track for his age." Scott laughs and slaps Sidney on the back.

"I’d like to find Ron to give him back this jersey. Did you see him, bruddah?"

"No. Check down that hallway. Sometimes people gather there."

"Sidney do you want to ride home with me or Scott?"

"You. If I could."

"Okay, well, come with me. I want to check over here. Oh, my gosh! (Charlotte throws her arms around yet another guy.) I didn’t know you were here tonight! Why didn’t you come say hello?"

"You were busy."  
  
"But I still would love to see you. How is everyone? Charlotte? The kids? And your mom?

Charlotte continues on talking with David alone across the hall and some of it looks serious. [I hope it’s not too bad.] David whips out his phone and shows pictures of his kids and the new dog. [Of course, hasn’t changed a bit.] He and Charlotte end up talking about all the current gossip in Red Oak and projected incidences. 

[I can’t STAND this part of Red Oak!] Sidney has slipped off to the water fountain and is curiously observing—and trying to overhear. He holds up 3 fingers to Scott and Scott confirms with three fingers back. So now Sidney has to get the scoop.

"What the hell?"

Slight chuckle from Scott..."Well, these are the three confirmed with a kiss. There may be more but these are the big 3 that I know. This is the last one, David Baxter. He was her longtime high school boyfriend. Now, watch the body language, with him especially, she keeps a hand on him all the time. Protective of him. Once in a while she’ll find an excuse for the guy to keep a hand on HER or an arm around her waist."

"Oh, uh, uh, ohhhh….don’t look now but I think she wants you to come over."

"Too bad. I’m looking the other way and didn’t see her gesture."

"Sidney, Iiiii did. She knows you know!"

"F**K!"

Scott starts to chuckle and slaps Sidney on the back.

"Sidney, I want to introduce you to two of my favorite guys from high school. This is David Baxter and Ron Vincent; guys, this is my friend, Sidney Parker." Sidney holds out his hand and shakes with each one of them. [Iabsolutely LOVE this part!]

“Hello. Good to meet you. Hello, my pleasure.“ The guys kind of take aback when they hear his voice/accent. Charlotte is caught in one of those surreal moments.

"Well, Ron, I wanted to get this jersey to you so you can get it back to Tim. Tell him thank you." Ron sniffs the shirt. "Smells like you! He’ll love it"!

[No, Sidney! She’s had boyfriends in the past who will have personally smelled her perfume. Come back to the moment.]

"Ron, you did a great job up there. It was really fun to watch. Did you perform other things with Charlotte while in high school?"

"Welllll, did we Charlotte? I was two grades ahead of you." 

"Nope. You were a jock. Too cool for the musical." 

"Tennis season! C’mon now! We've certainly done weddings!"

"Yes. Many. I do believe Mr. Kazmerzak threw us up in front of the entire chorus class a time or two when we were dating. He made us do duets, remember? Such a jerk! Remember how he would make announcements about new and old couples, in front of everybody, asking the kids for verification…?"

"What a jerk!! He couldn’t get away with that now!"

"You would turn him in, too, wouldn’t you?!"

"HELL yeah!" (Everybody laughs.)

"So the answer is 'yes' we’ve performed together but not publicly, except for our wedding gigs. And this skit 2 years ago. Now, Charlotte, she sings all the time! Audience or no audience. This I will always remember... when we were dating there was this winter dance. She’d keep singing the songs and sing them in my ear even during slow dances. You have a good voice or that could have been awkward, Charlotte!"

Charlotte starts laughing. "Oh, Lord! I do remember that dance now that you mention it! Too funny!"

"I kept thinking you would stop because you 'd get tripped up and didn’t know a song. But, oh no! She knew EVERY song! Pretty amazing, considering."

[This is too funny! Even in high school!]

"How did we get to this? We’re digressing!"

'I asked about performing together. This all sounds very likely. She sings constantly now, too."

"I believe it! Crazy and FUNNY girl! And I’m going to stop there."

"Yes, Ron! Please stop! I don’t want interrogated on the way home! "

Charlotte has a coat and things in her one arm. She holds her other arm out to hug each one and says, “It’s been so good to see you guys. Ron, thanks for being such a trooper."

"David, give a hug to your Charlotte and say hello. Spoil those kids with hugs and kisses for Christmas now, okay?"

"Will do."

"Merry Christmas, gentlemen!"

(They wave and say “Merry Christmas” and promptly turn into each other to compare notes.) [Oh, what I wouldn’t give to be a mouse in a pocket right now. English accent is top on the list, I’m sure.] 

"Those two are actually brothers-in-law. They married sisters. David’s wife’s name is also Charlotte. What are the odds, huh? That’s how things roll in small town Iowa."

[This is the kinda creepy small town stuff she was referring to. Curious, it passes through her life even when she's home for just a few days.]

"Sidney, I’d like you to see the Chautauqua pavilion at night. It’s lit up for Christmas and it’s just beautiful. Is it okay if we stop by there on our way home?"

"Sure. I’d love it."

____________________ 

(Sidney is standing behind Charlotte with his arms wrapped around her waist.) 

"I just wanted to bring you up here so you could see the town lights at night. It’s pretty, isn’t it? "

"Yes." (They stand there content with no talking.)

"Charlotte, thank you for bringing me here. I am having a great time and I’m loving meeting your family and friends. I’ve learned things here that explain why you do what you do. It all helps! I don’t question as much any more. Things are getting explained, one by one."

Sidney squeezes her waist and whispers in her ear, “I am in love with you, Charlotte Heywood from Red Oak, Iowa.” (Charlotte leans back into Sidney and giggles.) 

“Thank you. I’ll take it." (They stand in companionable silence.)

"Sidney?" (Charlotte turns around and puts her arms around his neck.) 

“Yes.”

“I feel like I’m living someone else’s life. Stuff like this doesn’t happen to me. Does that make sense?"

“Yes.” (Sidney puts his forehead on hers.) 

“I’m really enjoying our time together. I can’t believe it’s all coming together so well. I especially can’t believe the Heywoods are actually kind of behaving themselves.” (Sidney laughs.) Kind of. What do you think of us, Sidney? You and me...not my goof ball family." 

(Sidney laughs, too.) [They are quite a tribe. I will say.] "I thiiiink I’m waiting for you to take the lead like I said originally. Whatever you want to do I’ll follow and whenever you want to do something is all right with me. You set the pace."

"I think I’d like to pick up the pace...a little."

Sidney raises his head to see her face. "What do you mean by that, Charlotte?"

"I’m not sure. I think I’m incredibly nervous.”

“Yes. I can feel that. Or are you getting cold?”

Charlotte grabs the collar of his coat and buries her head.

[Oh, God. I shouldn’t have said anything. If I say “forget about it” he won’t let it go. I’m screwed.] 

"I shouldn’t have said anything. Will you let me pick up this conversation later? Please?"

"Uhhhh, no. Sorry. ‘I want to pick up the pace' is something I’VE wanted to say. What do YOU mean by saying that?"

"I mean...I think this trip has been good for us. I feel more comfortable with you now. I’m finding we actually are very compatible. I never knew that about us. 

"I never would have imagined we’d have so much in common. (She hesitates.) I never thought you would be interested in what I have to say. Sidney, I want to move forward but I have no idea what that means or what that looks like.

"Truthfully, I never thought we’d get this far!? I thought at some point something would take the fun out of this--but it hasn’t. Am I making any sense? (Charlotte looks up to Sidney for a reaction but really can’t see his face in the shadows.) I think we should go. Are you cold?" (Charlotte reaches down and grabs his hand and starts to walk.)

"Come here." (Sidney brings her back and moves her into snuggle position.)

"Uhhh...I’m too scared. I’m sorry, Sidney. I shouldn’t have said anything. I just wanted to say that while I momentarily had the nerve. Sub conscious out loud: I'm such an idiot."

Sidney softly laughs. "Thank you. I hope you’ll tell me that again, Charlotte." (Charlotte gives an extra tight squeeze around his torso.)

"Let’s go warm up in the car. Aren’t you cold?"

"No. I have this great coat I got with my girlfriend. (Charlotte giggles.) Ahhhhhh, it makes things so much better!" 

"We need to get down to Scott’s house. Can we continue this later? We do have 6 hours in the car tomorrow."

"Yes. Of course. Just don’t forget where we left off."

"May I kiss you now, Sidney? I’m going to want to at my brother’s house before we go inside. My brother is so obnoxious though he’d be looking out the window when we pull up."

"You don’t ever have to ask me, Charlotte."

"Let’s go ahead and pull up near Scott’s. Do you know where you are? Do you know how to get around this big metropolis?"

(Sidney smiles) "Yes. I think so. He’s on 3rd Street, right? (Charlotte nods.) 

"How’s this?" (Sidney puts the car in park a block away.)

"So, Sidney Michael, since you say I don’t have to ask…."

1). “Baby It’s Cold Outside” - Written by Frank Loesser  
Parody written by “Saturday Night Live”


	20. "It's Time To Go Home"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> December 23rd - What is it they say about having company and fish? After 3 days they both stink! This is the last day (morning) in Red Oak. Charlotte is cramming in some of her more sentimental sights and walking down memory lane. Sidney doesn't know where she's taking him but he KNOWS Charlotte is hurting, being home and her mom is gone. [t's only a matter of the switch getting flipped. This could be a hard day.]

Frederique - “How, did it go?”

C -”Well, I think. You’ll have to ask them.”

F - ”How was it?”

J - “Good. I’d go so far as to say VERY good, of course I’m biased. I’m your brother.”

Sc - “Put it this way...mom would have been proud.”

C - “Yes, I think she would have. It’s a cute skit. We can talk later. Where’s my little Boo?”

F - “He’s been waking up every hour—hour and a half.”

C - “Well...let’s feed him to the brim and you guys, get some sleep. Let Auntie Charlotte work her magic. I’m shooting for 7 hours tonight and I think he can do it! When did he go down?”

F - “A half hour ago.”

C - “Perfect! A chance to eat and look at yearbooks. Thanks for that, brother. I’m so happy my boyfriend gets to see those awkward years! Sidney, is that what you are? Would you rather be introduced as a friend or boyfriend?”

Sc - “Or, fiancé?”

C - “Whaaat! Scott, stop that right NOW!! You are embarrassing me and Sidney. Come after me but don’t go after him. Do you understand?”

Sc - “I’m just sayin’...”

C - “And you’re obviously not LISTENIN’!!!!”

Sc - “Watch out, Sidney. She can be like a cat caught in a corner sometimes!”

“You’ll excuse me, I’d like to spend time with my boyfriend before I go on Auntie duty."

S - “You mean I get you all to myself?”

C - “Until the baby wakes up. I won’t be sleeping with you tonight either.”

“Why not??”

“Same reasons as last night. I don’t want to start sharing a bed at my brother’s house. And Sidney, I truly don’t trust myself.” (Sidney wraps his arm around her waist and pulls her backward onto the bed so she’s laying next to him.)

“Yeah, no. This is not a good idea.” (Charlotte sits up.)

“Charlotte, please. Just come lay with me a while. I just want to feel you next to me!”

“We’ll be home soon.”

“And what does that mean?”

“I’d feel more comfortable at home. Just the two of us.”

“To me, it doesn’t matter where.”

“Obviously.” (Charlotte softly giggles)

“I was thinking about this today. I need to communicate better with you about this. I sense your frustration. And I understand the feelings because I feel them too. If I were talking to my friends what would I say in regard to laying with you? I’d say, 'I can’t do this!!!? I want him too badly. He’s physically the most beautiful man I’ve ever been with. I fear I would overstep my boundaries and that would lead me to a place where I wouldn’t have control of myself or the situation. That scares me.' Sidney, hear me please, that would scare me."

“I’m only sharing that with you so you know I think about you, too. I’m really looking forward to that time. I’m asking you to be patient with me.

“I just thought of something. Would you want to spoon with me on the couch and get back in your bed before others wake up? Is that a good compromise?”

Sidney pulls Charlotte close to him and whispers in her ear,”Thank you. That means so much.”

There’s a knock on the door. “The baby is awake.”

Charlotte leans down to kiss Sidney. “I love you and I look forward to feeling you.” She gives him a sweet kiss. On the nose—and laughs!

Sidney listens to Charlotte take control:

"Has he been fed?  
How many ounces?  
Did he burp well?  
I’m assuming he’s been changed…?  
I’ll change him again in about a half hour  
Leave me some milk

I’m shooting for 7 hours tonight people so please do not come around until after 7:00 and when you do be very, VERY quiet! If he’ll go past 7 hrs. I’ll take it!

Okaaay! Move out people! Upstairs!” (It’s 10:30)

Charlotte puts Floyd in a cradle position and starts walking around. She’s buying time for one more diaper change, just in case. She’s swinging him gently, left to right and knocks on Sidney’s door.

“Hiiiiii, we’ve come for a quick visit to discuss our ‘tryst’...okay, no one can be in the room until he’s soundly asleep. It can take me 30-90 minutes sometimes. It’s a process that will become routine. It takes as long as it takes.

“I’ll knock on the door when it’s okay. YOU will have to leave by 6:00 am. Got it? Come here...will you open the door, please?”

“Sure, sure. Just come in. Can’t you do that for a minute?”

“Yes. I’m just getting paranoid.

“Okay, come stand with me. I don’t want to sit with him yet. Sidney, I need you to promise me you won’t try anything. I truly cannot handle that right now. Do you know the definition of ravenous?” (Charlotte smiles. Sidney nods and returns the gesture.)

“So, don’t tempt me. I swear to God!”

Sidney smiles.

“No. Don’t do that ornery little sh** grin or I’ll change my mind. I truly cannot handle that. Ms. Prude is very anxious about this whole thing. I don’t dare go there. Do you understand?”

“Yes. I’m flattered. I can relate.”

“So, come here. I’d like to kiss you. I love you. Very much. This is only the second day I’ve said that and it feels like months! I’m definitely getting used to this.”

Sidney was trying to stay awake for the knock on the door so he scoured over high school yearbooks. [From what I can tell there’s cheerleading all three years. Lead in musical all 3 years. Spanish Club, French Club, Minisingers all three years, Yearbook Editor all 3 years, Debate, Speech Contests, 3 years, Music Contests all 3 years, All-State Music, 2 years, Homecoming Court, just to name a few.

[Aaaaand, HOT! She definitely has the sparkle in her eye like Scott talked about. LOVE the one for Spanish Club, junior year. Wowch!]

There’s a light knock on the door and it’s Charlotte.

“Before we go out there I would love to kiss you if I may…?”

“Yes, please.”

Charlotte puts her arms up around Sidney’s neck and proceeds to draw him in. Seduction at its finest. “I want to do that every day. You’re an amazing kisser.” [Lucky me!]

“Thank you.”

Time to try out this scheme...Sidney’s back’s against the couch, Charlotte is in front in case she needs to get to the baby. There was an audible sigh from both of them when they laid down beside one another.

“Thank you!! This is amazing. I love you so much, Charlotte.”

“This is so incredibly perfect I may fall asleep, Sidney. Sorry. I’m pretty tired.”

“That’s okay. Just go to sleep.”

Pretty soon Charlotte was asleep. Sidney spends the time looking closely at her. [These times spent looking at a her just confirms what I've already known. I'm going to make you mine, Charlotte Heywood.]

Sidney drifts off to sleep.

Sidney hears rustling around upstairs. Even though it’s 5:30 it’s not worth the risk. Sidney leans over…”Charlotte, I need to get up now. Can you move forward and let me out?” Charlotte snaps into action and sits right up.

“Yes, of course.” It was a quick kiss and Sidney fled to the bedroom next door.

Both commented out loud, “That was totally worth it.”

“7.5 hours? That is amaaazing!”

[I love this part. Hearing Charlotte all excited about helping the baby. I just want to hear this, then I'll get up.]

“He’s got it in him. Let me train you both here in a bit. I swear, he and I had a conversation last night. He’s a little feisty like his Daddy. Calvin was a little trouble-maker like HIS Daddy. BOTH love their Auntie Charlotte very much and found their peaceful place with her. Didn’t you Floyd?

“You sure are a handsome baby! So, I have this theory...there are “cute” babies and “beautiful” babies. Occasionally there’s a “handsome” baby but that’s very rare. No such thing as an unattractive baby. Made in God’s image--perfection! Floyd, I’d go so far as to say you’re a 'handsome' boy!

“My adorable little Boo! October 31st is Halloween, Freddie, which I know you Europeans don’t celebrate.

[Oh, holidays. Charlotte's favorite thing. Let me guess. Halloween is second most favorite.]

"That holiday is special for ME! My second most favorite holiday!"

“Yeah, they’re all special to Aunt Charlotte. She dresses like a witch, puts a giant blow up spider in her yard and a bunch of other stuff.”

[Aha! Like I said. Spider? Witch's costume? I'm not having a hard time seeing this.]

“I’m a sucker for holidays—just like Grandma GG. What can I say?

“Speaking of...what time is the party today?”

“12:00 noon.”

“Well, I better go get up lazy bones. There’s a lot yet to do today. This should be fun! I’ve never done this before!”

[Iiiiii'm looking forward to this myself.]

Under her breath Mary says, ”All who believe that, raise their hands.” Scott and Jason raise their hands and nod yes. The women mumble and raise eyebrows to each other.

Charlotte goes in and lays beside Sidney in the bed. She gently kisses him and begins to run her fingers through his hair.

“Sidney, it’s time to start waking up” and she leans over and kisses his cheek.

Sidney catches the hand that’s in his hair, kisses the palm, brings their hands to his heart and opens his eyes.

“Is that really you, laying beside me?”

“Yes, for about 60 seconds more until I have to move away from you for my own good!”

Charlotte starts laughing and is getting ready to sit up.

Sidney, on the other hand just wants the 60 seconds.

“Pleeease stay with me a while.”

“You have 3 minutes or less until one of my brothers knocks on the door. I’ll give you 3 minutes.”

“Thank you for last night. That was amazing! Better than I ever thought it would be. Really, Charlotte just touching you makes a difference. Incidental touching is one thing. Lying next to you and feeling ALL of you is incredible. Please tell me tonight you will lay with me, when we get home.”

“Ooo, I like the ‘we’ and the ‘home’ part of that. I can't wait.”

“There’s a knock on the door—Scott. Are you guys gonna want to see the Jr. High this morning?”

(Told ya’!) “Yes! We would like that! When are you going?”

“Does 30 minutes work?”

“Yes. Thank you! I’m surprised he didn’t open the door, frankly. He can be so obnoxious. You go ahead and shower. I wouldn’t even get DONE in 30 minutes!”

“Let me hold you...please?”

“You have 28 minutes now.”

“I don’t need it.”

“Of COURSE you don’t!?” [I hate guys and their getting ready routine. Sooo not fair!]

“Take me down to 20 minutes.”

“Sidney. I need to leave you now. Know that I love you very much but I cannot do this right now.”

“Charlotte!”

“No. Sweet Jesus. I canNOT do this!”

“A kiss?!”

[Okay. That I can do.] Charlotte leans over him as he’s laying down and runs her fingers through his hair. “I love your hair a little longer, Sidney. It’s curlier as it grows. Very sexy,” she whispers.

“If that’s all it takes…?”

"And I love you, Sidney." She lightly kisses his neck and all four points of his face and lands on his lips. It’s a lengthy, passionate, sweet kiss that he for sure has never received before.

"There."

“Oh, God! Please come under the covers with me right now.” He’s got a hand on her arm.

“I love you so much, Sidney. You now have twenty minutes.” She giggles.

Charlotte is ready and talking with Scott in the kitchen.

“I’ve never known you to EVER be on time for anything. What gives? You showing off for Sidney?”

“Hey, I’ve been better about that. Like, over the past year.”

“SURE you have!? Remember who you’re talking to, lil’ sissy.”

Just then Sidney comes out of the bedroom door. Drying his hair with a hand towel and not shaven but looking gorgeous. He did make it in 20 minutes.

. [HE loves me? Really? WTF? (“F” to be emphatic!) Seriously…!?] Charlotte giggles to herself. The two exchange a smile and the thought runs through her mind that she’s been thinking for a while now. [I can see myself marrying that man, should he ever ask. I look in his eyes and I see our future. I see him with me throughout my life. Come back to present, Charlotte Louise who has ever talked marriage?]

“Okay, Sidney you said you wanted to take some video and pictures. Charlotte I think it’d be worth your while to do the same. This project may end up being helpful down the line in terms of sharing ideas of potential."

Scott unlocks the door and Charlotte gets animated. "This used to be study hall and now it’s a library? Huh? Where do the kids study?”

“Lunchroom. I would imagine this is storage lockers and laundry? This will be the elevator shaft for sure. It already has the framing. But what a bummer, it will take the stage.” [ I wonder if I still have a signature in the green room? I’m on the ceiling!]

“Typing. History. Science. Algebra. English. Woo it all comes flooding back, doesn't it, Scott? Stage on 3rd floor. And the steps?? Cement with divits on the treads. Straight up, 12 steps per set; three floors. Landings wide enough to hold 10 kids. Classic. Classic. Classic. I LOVE IT!”

“Well, I’m loving this! I wish there was a chance for reuse at Sanditon. Unfortunately they are more into tearing down the midcentury stuff and of course maintaining our historic buildings. Scott, I really appreciate you taking the time to let me see this.”

“Any time. Where are you two off to now?” 

“I need to show Sidney some more things around town. We’ll catch up with you at Grandma GG’s. Hey, do you have the key for the depot? Yeah, here on my ring”.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t lose it!!! Sidney, maybe you can keep it for her.”

“Are you saying I lose things? “

“Why, no. Do you lose things? Really? Have you told Sidney about your affliction—Ms. Nutty Professor?”

“Yes, I’m aware. She has 4 tiles going all the time.”

“Tiles?”

“Tracker alarms. Car keys, iPad, iphone and planner. I’m considering one for my laptop and one for my ear buds, too!”  
`  
“Oh, that’s GREAT! I didn’t know there was such a thing. That sounds PERFECT for you!”

“So put this on your key ring and DON’T lose it! And don’t be late for the party!”


	21. "Myyyyyy Pleasure!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte is spending their last morning in Red Oak visiting some sentimental places. This is Sidney's opportunity to learn what's on Charlotte's heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies if anyone is offended by the mention of Christianity. Charlotte has already stated on her way to RO that she is defined by her faith. She also happens to be from a small town of "religious" folks. She does not claim to be a fundamentalist but she does speak often about God/Jesus in order to raise someone's curiosity. She doesn't beat Christianity down a person's throat. She shares the excitement and meaningfulness of her beliefs. She hopes her energy and enthusiasm will cause others to check it out. "Do not take thy Lord's name in vain." Charlotte says Jesus Q. (Not Jesus Christ or Jesus) to emphasize her point--sorry for any offense.

"Okay, Sidney. I’m going to have to go through things really quickly that we didn’t get to yesterday. Start with Scott’s house, it was built in 1889, a Queen Anne Victorian.The house down there on the corner is supposed to be it’s twin." 

"THAT??" 

"Yup, that atrocious remuddle. The two houses are identical. Built by wealthy brothers who owned the flour mill back in the day. Can you believe that? Makes my stomach turn over. I don’t even know if you’d find it under that plywood and fake siding. I just wanted to show you. Scott had to point that out to me. You wouldn't even have known it." 

"Wow. Okay. What is this place?"

"This is the house I grew up in." 

"Really? Look at this yard! This is a really nice big lot for a town lot, isn’t it?"

"It’s a little deceiving because the house sits on the back corner of the lot."

"It was fun. Lots of room. My parents grew trees for privacy to help with the busy streets here at the corner. It was like playing in a playpen! It was kinda cool. Anyway, come on in and I’ll show you around."

"What? The house is unlocked?"

"Yes. People do that in small town Iowa."

"You’re kidding me."

"For real, Sidney. Most of the time. Come on in. This house is extremely messy—Dad has basically hoarded it. There are empty cans of dog food not thrown away. Piles of junk mail and newspapers. Clothes. Dirty dishes in the sink. Ugh! Hopefully you can see the bones of the structure. It was a great house to grow up in. Lots of square footage. We’re talking 3000’ish. 6 bedrooms. One full bath. One half bath. (Sidney raises his eyebrows. Charlotte giggles.) Yes, for a family of 5. It was pretty ugly some days. Dad and I, every school day morning pretty much, we went at it. God forbid he didn’t turn my hot rollers on, on time! (Charlotte lets out a bigger laugh.) Bathtub only—NO shower!!" (Now Sidney starts to giggle.)

"Iiiiii KNOW! Can you imagine? Nuts! Completely nuts! That's why I hog my bathroom time today." (Charlotte smiles) 

"Through here is the combined dining room and library. What the hell are we going to do with all those books? There are hundreds! Here’s the living room (22’ x 16’) Huge! Lots of army played here. We’d flip over the couches when Mom and Dad were gone. I would move the couches to the side and dance or do some tumbling. The stereo was here so I'd put on shows for me, myself and I!?" 

"I have no doubt. I can TOTALLY see a 9-year-old Charlotte belting out songs! You're adorable, by the way. I absolutely love the woodwork in here, Charlotte. It’s so nice and the staircase…? Come on. That’s fabulous."

"That’s one of my most favorite things about this house. I used to sit up there and spy on the adults. My parents had lots of parties. That 5’ landing on the steps was my stage! It was a happy house but one by one it got quieter and the dysfunction of my mom's disorder took flight. She never got the proper care. People just didn't understand bipolar disorder back then—they still don’t!

There’s a lot of misinformation out there causing a lot of misunderstanding. I hope I can somehow make a change in that. Knowing what I know now, it's heartbreaking. With medication her life could have been very different. Not so turbulent. Much less oppositional and overall happier. It was really very hard to live with her at times. When the boys left it was only me. Pretty quiet and lonely and two parents hyperfocused on the girl of the family."

"Little did they know, or believe, I was the ideal teenager! My dad let up a bit when I dated 'The General'!? Shouldn't have, he was the most touchy and insistent of my boyfriends! (She laughs out loud.) Oh, the men I dated... So different from each other. Different in every way, except for wanting to have sex with me."

[What is he thinking over there? Sizing me up? Picturing things in his mind? Guys are all the same--according to my brothers, too! Ugh.]

[Okay, now THAT thought needs to leave my mind. Holy shit, Sidney! (Look away.) Look at her. She's watching my reaction.]

"Wipe that look off your face, Mr. Parker. That expression IS, not just damn near, indecent!" (Charlotte laughs.) 

[I don't doubt that. Shiiiiit! Talk about Charlotte and her prudish visions! Oh man, Sidney! Move on!]

"Anyway, kitchen with great room, before there was such a thing with a greenhouse there on the south side. My dad put this room on. Oh, great. There’s still bird food and bird poop on the carpet! Ugh! So, Sidney here's some more mouse paranoia. We had a HUGE mouse issue. They’d run across the floor right in front of me. Right across my shoe to get to the freaking bird seed!! I would FLIP OUT but this was our only tv!? Sidney..." 

"I know, you HATE mice! I KNOW!" Sidney shares a grin with Charlotte. "I get it!" 

"Now, you're making fun of me!" 

"No. Let's just change the topic. I could bury myself here." 

"Mom loved dogs and birds. I loved cats. I had two siamese cats. Let’s just say those birds went 'bye-bye' sometimes." (Charlotte sticks out a pout lip to Sidney and draws an imaginary tear from her eye down her cheek. Sidney just bursts out laughing.)

"Okay, let's head upstairs. My parents put this red carpet on the steps. I hate it. It had creaks everywhere so you had to step strategically if you were sneaking around. When the carpet went in that sure made it convenient for the party boys. Sooo, Mom & Dad’s room, Scott’s room, this goes to the attic. Jason’s room became my bedroom." 

Charlotte opens the door to her room and peeks in. "I just want to make sure there isn’t something embarrassing in here." (She giggles. Of course there are hoarding items—boxes with paper and miscellaneous items, an old computer, drafting table, etc.) C’mon in Sidney…(she holds out her hands and opens them in display) Here’s Charlotte’s’ room, age 7 to occasionally 20. This was originally Jason’s. Mine was the pink one across the hallway there, birth to 7. The nursery. It was originally the maid’s room and here, this is the back staircase to the kitchen. I only came back one summer while in college. Pretty much graduated high school and waved goodbye to Red Oak, Iowa. See ya’!"

"But here it is! MY room. Lots of good memories. Lots of good memories when it didn’t look like this, that is. What do you think?"

"Sidney is busy checking out her bulletin board and looking at the books in her shelves."

"Charlotte, are these corsages?" (They are framing the 3’ x 4’ bulletin board.)

"Yes." (She smiles and looks down shyly.)

"Do girls do that?"

"This one did!?" 

"That's a lot of special parties!" 

"Yes. Special memories. I was blessed and fortunate to get invited to lovely, formal events,” Charlotte giggles.

Sidney starts reading titles of books on her shelves.

“Flowers For Algernon”  
“Farewell To Arms”  
“The Iliad And The Odyssey”  
“Dandelion Wine”  
“The Great Gatsby”  
“Ethan Frome”  
“Dorian Gray”  
‘Lord Of The Flies”  
“The Pearl”  
“For Whom The Bell Tolls”  
“Grapes Of Wrath”  
“Sense and Sensibility”  
“Pride and Prejudice”

(And more...)

“My God, Charlotte!”

“Advanced Literature class in college.”

“I’m impressed.”

"Oh, don’t be. I can only remember 3 or 4 of them and that’s because I saw them as movies! (Charlotte smiles). I'm not a fan of fiction. It’s fake and not educational. I can't handle all the emotions in fiction. Imagine that?"

"Ahhh, I see the cheerleading squad? Team? What do you call that?" 

"Squad."

"Okay, seriously. Best legs of the group! Come look!" 

"You’re obsessed, Sidney Parker!" 

"See! You’re standing together in a group. C’mon...my argument made right in front of you. (Sidney holds Charlotte’s hand.) I’m loving this. Thank you. He kisses her cheek. Thank you for bringing me here, to Red Oak. And to this room! I can totally envision you growing up here. I love having that connection to you."

(Charlotte looks at Sidney’s face.) [He is so sincere. That just AMAZES me. That he can be so honest and innocent, frankly. Can’t say I’ve ever met anyone like him.] (Charlotte smiles sweetly.) "Sidney, I never knew you had a fetish for legs?! Don’t you think that’s a little strange?"

"Perhaps a fetish for YOUR legs! (Sidney laughs.) Truthfully, I usually check that out on a woman. I like all OTHER parts of you, too! But YOUR legs, Charlotte, have always attracted me. The first thing I fell in love with."

"WHAT??? What the hell are you talking about now???"

"I’m going to be serious right now...the first day we worked together I had to excuse myself. I was so attracted to you anyway and then you started doing things in the office, so you were walking around, climbing on chairs! Remember that? You wouldn’t let me reach things for you. [Very indicative of her personality. I couldn’t have known that at the time.] Charlotte, your legs were, ARE, a-ma-zing. Slim but still muscular. They have an illusion of length. I dunno. I hadn’t even worked an hour before I had to leave. You had on what you’re wearing now. (Tights and a short skirt. Slight heel for shoes. A sweater with a knit scarf and you can”t see much beyond that scarf.) You don’t remember this?"

"I guess I’m not used to someone being crazy about my legs. But, thank you for that! As you can probably guess, MOST men are interested in my obvious endowment. Women don’t go around doing that stuff to men, you know. You all are a bizarre breed, you know that? I find this behavior rather weird and FOR SURE, sexist!"

(Sidney laughs) "I absolutely cannot comment. That is a no-win situation for me. That’s why the legs are 'safe'!! (They both laugh.) Hey, come here."

Charlotte walks over to Sidney and he puts his arms around her waist and pulls her in. ”Wanna make out in your bedroom while your parents are away?”

"And what would you do if I said ‘yes’?” [That would be so amazing! You have no idea!]

"I would be removing my coat--immediately." (They both laugh.)

"I can’t even begin to lay down on that bed, Sidney. I’m deathly allergic to dust mites. I’d end up asthmatic and I don’t have my inhaler with me."

"Can I have a fabulous kiss then?"

"Of course! I’m so glad you like kissing like I do. So sensual and loving, isn’t it? " 

"Who wouldn’t?"

Charlotte purses her lips and looks down.

Sidney lifts her chin and looks at Charlotte’s face. [Did I just read that correctly?] "Steve?" Charlotte nods. 

[If I dare speak I’m going to be a human waterfall! He can make me cry by a certain look he gives me.]

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. I’m serious. (Her voice is cracking.) I don’t know what went wrong. He didn’t want to kiss me like that."

"No kissing at all?" 

"After 3 years married, no. Even at a year and a half things were getting few and far between." 

"No kissing? At all? None?"

"Eventually, none."

"It just happened less and less frequently, to the point where I was less and less attracted to him. You have to at least care for the person and have an ounce of passion there or...it just doesn’t work."

"Charlotte, I’m so sorry. " (He hugs her. He knows what’s coming.)

Charlotte looks directly at Sidney, smiles slightly and says, “It’s okay". (Her eyes are filling up with tears. One blink and they will come falling.)

“No it isn’t.” (Charlotte looks at Sidney and blinks. Here come the tears.) Sidney just watches as the woman he loves cries again over a relationship that went sooo wrong and has such a hold on her still.

[That guy is so f’d up and he took her down with him.] Charlotte is really crying and is holding onto the collar of Sidney’s coat. She’s buried her head on his chest. She’s trembling.

"Shhhh. It will be alright, Charlotte. We’ll get through this, okay?"

No answer. She’s just crying way too hard.

"I love you, Charlotte Heywood."

She lifts her head. A completely wet face. "Thank you. For loving me, that is. I DO believe you love me."

"This is all too draining. My family home is trashed. My dad has a girlfriend. My mom with her BRILLIANT mind is...missing! That’s all I can think to call it. She’s missing! And she actually was “missing” 3.5 years before her death. That SUCKED, you know it?! That was incredibly painful to watch." (She cries a little harder.) 

"I rarely came down from Minneapolis because I just couldn’t handle it. You know, the last time I saw her I knew she didn’t recognize me. She just kept staring. ME! Her precious daughter! It killed me, Sidney. A part of me died that day. I knew she was gone for good. She died three weeks later. I got in the car and sobbed all the way to Sue’s. (30 minutes.) I had to pull over--multiple times!"

"She should be here to meet you, Sidney. She would love you—love your accent! Once she found out you were in development she’d drill you on your knowledge of architecture and construction and preservation. She would DEFINITELY want to know to what extent your family participated in the war." 

(Tears are falling down between her spoken words.). "Please continue to be patient with me, Sidney. This is all part of that piece of me I didn’t want you to see. Why I didn’t want you to come. Sidney, I’m overloading. Let’s get out of this room."

[In this room or otherwise she’s still gonna lose it and cry longer and harder, just wait!]. They move to the hallway and Sidney pulls her in. They go to snuggle me position and they just hold each other, Charlotte starts crying again.

[God, this is heartbreaking and I’m not sure how to handle it! Jason and Scott were right. Her emotions are right at the surface. It's divorce. It's Mom. It's bipolar. Who wouldn't be struggling?]

Charlotte is wiping her tears off with her hand. [I need to learn to bring Kleenex. Ya’ think, Charlotte? Duh!] "Okay, let’s keep moving. I have a lot I want to show you today. There are 6 bedrooms total. My brothers got the best teen pad you can imagine! Come here. (Charlotte motions to follow.). Up the attic steps there is one HUGE room. The size of the foundation of the whole house. Awesome, right? I was supposed to get this bedroom when the boys left--didn't happen. That would have been amazing!" 

"Well, the last thing to show you is my beloved pool. Not much when it’s not cleaned out but I swam every day during the summer as a kid. I have a great pic of me back here on my wedding day. Aaaand here’s our front yard. I got married in this yard."

[I don't even want to acknowledge that last statement. Does she even realize how often she revisits her marriage? Or is just because of being here?] 

"I'm sorry, Sidney. This is over powering me today. I don't have the fight in me. Are you ready to go?" 

"Yes." 

"Okay, we’re going up to Heritage Hill." 

"I’m going to have to do that very quickly because I want to show you something special." 

"This is my elementary school. Webster. This drive-by home tour was developed by my mom. Ahead of its time really. 1970’s. Here is the matching house to the courthouse. One of my best friends owned that house for a while. It is mag-ni-fi-cent inside! Just beautiful! The quality of materials used is outstanding. There’s an inglenook plus a huge, carved fireplace, 10’ wide staircase that sweeps the side walls. The upper landing holds a baby grand piano. There’s a hidden space behind a bookcase--probably for prohibition. Best of all, there’s a sealed tunnel that used to connect to the house directly across the street. They protected the escaping slaves. They were abolishonists. We are just 30 miles north of Missouri here.

One thing I forgot to mention...we have so many beautiful houses because of the railroad and having the depot. They were able to get nice and rare materials shipped in so in the case of this house they have different woodwork in each bedroom. Birch, maple, oak, etc. All the Victorian homes in town, and I’ve been through most of them, have beautiful woodwork, stained glass, beautiful light fixtures, etc. I’ve been in every house on this street. Can you imagine living on this hill and watching the town develop and grow and watch it move up the hill?

“Now this one is a Sears & Robuck kit house. Isn’t that fascinating? S & R was a catalog company that sold everything from clothes to tools to houses! All the materials you need would be delivered to your driveway, with instructions. 'Good luck with that!?' Aunt Pam has a S & R garage. Now this one and the one at the end of the street my mom purchased because her nemesis, a Realtor in town, was talking about turning them into multi-family housing, or raising that one on the end down there for the lot. My mom bought both of them out from under him by leveraging their own rental properties. She saved them! Red Oak has two more beautiful vintage homes that otherwise would have been lost. The market changed and she made a nice profit. LOVE it! "(Charlotte smiles.)

"She did that with 2 additional Victorian homes in the following years. She was adamant about preserving history in this town."

"This is what I wanted to show you. The Chautauqua pavilion--in the daylight. Now this pavilion was built for a traveling group of artists who would come and perform if the the town provided them a shelter. The troop came out of Chautauqua, New York and they were very popular from 1880’s to 1920’s. Kind of like the circus coming to town but it was dancers, actors, musicians, etc." 

"What I wanted to show you was the view in the daylight. This is the highest place in town. When I was younger I would ride my bike up here to see the most FABULOUS what I call, ‘God is speaking’ sunsets. The ones where the sun streaks to the ground through the clouds. I have some pictures to show you sometime. When the farmers get in their fields and start kicking up the dust the particles in the air create gorgeous light. Absolutely breathtaking! On fire! Oranges, reds, pinks, yellow and a burning orange red sun. Oh, my God. I’ve never seen anything like it anywhere else I’ve been."

Sidney is in awe of Charlotte at moments such as this. [She’s so passionate about teaching and confident. That’s so great to see that beautiful, confident side of her not the one that really is struggling with several issues. There's a big smile and that twinkle is back in her eye. Absolutely charming!] Charlotte continues, “I wish you could see one. (Charlotte smiles to Sidney and he returns with an ‘I’m so proud of you right now’ grin.) [I feel like I’m witnessing a rebirth. I can visualize her younger. I’ve got to figure out how to be a partner through this transition. Oh, and that’s right, Ms. Heywood. I wiiill marry you someday. You just don't know it yet.] Sidney giggles to himself.

Charlotte carries on: "Spring or fall is the best time of year for sunsets. November is amazing, too. Around my birthday there may be one or two but they’re purple and peach. A last hurrah before winter. Isn't it beautiful? You can see all the way out to the fields! And see this hill? This is the town sledding hill. Isn’t it fabulous!"?

[The littlest things light up her face.]

"Am I boring you half to death?" 

Sidney turns Charlotte to face him and puts his hands around her face. "Charlotte, you are so excited about this stuff. It’s fun for me! I see your face totally light up when you're talking about things such as old houses, cultural traditions, landmarks, etc. You may wish to pursue something where you can share your enthusiasm for history...? 

"You know, I love to see you happy, Charlotte. I can barely take it when you are so sad."

"I want this to end, Sidney. I’m a mess right now and the thing IS, I’ve been a mess for YEARS!! (She looks up at Sidney.) Are you sure you want to walk into this?

“I’m exhausted. My emotional baggage is taking my precious little energy and I’m burning out. I’m just so TIRED." [Her green eyes are red from crying but I do see the fatigue showing up instead of her usual shining eyes.] Charlotte lays her head on Sidney’s chest.

"I know you are. (Sidney pulls her close and kisses the top of her head and wraps her in his arms.) We can work on that, okay? When we get home it’s bedtime before 2:30 am in the morning and a nap mid afternoon. (They both laugh.) You got ME to help! Hand things off to me for help. Will you please?" 

"Thank you, Sidney." 

"For what?' 

"For following me back home. I'll be forever grateful."

"You're very welcome. Myyyyy pleasure."


	22. "The Depot"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte is taking Sidney around Red Oak, showing him her more significant and sentimental places in town. The last place has more meaning than all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If not already done so, please read notes from previous chapter.

“Here it is...Mom’s ‘baby’. The Red Oak Junction Depot. So, here’s where I know I’m Judy Hewood’s daughter! She had bipolar 2 and exhibited grandiose ideology, self-centered thinking/behavior as well as irritability. Don’t tell her 'no' or 'it can’t be done', that is, unless you want the wrath of Lucifer to come down upon you. Watch out! She’ll make things happen come hotter hell or higher water. All part of her grandiose ideas being bipolar. She has the vision therefore it CAN be done! And being self-centered, 'I will roll over anyone in my way because I’m the smartest in the room!' 

“And she did! The city had intended on raising this depot and my mom fought city hall--and won. They categorically said they would not put one penny into the project. She was forward-thinking (always) in that regard to bettering the community. Red Oak was originally named Red Oak Junction because it had the only depot in the area. There was no way she was going to let them take the depot! She raised every cent to finance the restoration. Researching and writing multiple grants over the years, seeking private donations, making presentations at meetings with potential donors. Phone calls. Mailing campaigns, fundraisers at the farmer’s market, etc. Eventually she ended up giving some of her own money to get things done.

“Once you get the grants then you have to become the general contractor, supervising workers, volunteers and making decisions about colors, materials, etc. She personallay searched for vintage light fixtures, faucets and more. Talk about exhausting! I could never keep her pace that she did at her age, I’m telling you! Sometimes bipolar individuals have more energy than some. She did! It’s different for everyone.

“That’s the way it was on any project she did like this for the purpose of creating community. My Dad used to say, ‘I can’t afford for your mother to direct the community play this year.' There was Touchstone—a community arts foundation where she brought artists into the community and schools. And they also sent underserved children to Omaha to go to plays, museums and the zoo. That was her idea as well. She always made ends meet for the projects utilizing her own funds and did that on a teacher’s salary. Pretty special lady. Hard working and PERSISTENT! And RESOURCEFUL! 

[I "get it". You don't have to convince me. You’re definitely much like the woman Robin spoke of, Charlotte. Passionate. Driven from within. I do wish I could have met her—that younger you.]

Takes a good teacher in order to learn that stuff. I’ve definitely passed the Jedi Knight training from the master, Obi-Wan-Kanobi. (Charlotte throws Sidney a big smile. He returns with a sweet smile of admiration and a wink.)

“Anyway, Mom wanted to make this a museum and have it registered on the National Registry of Historic Places so they wouldn’t tear it down. She accomplished both. It is a World War II museum because as I mentioned before, Montgomery County lost the most soldiers per capita than any other county in Iowa. Remember the fountain in the center of downtown?

"Her father (we called him Popper) was a “Sea Bee”. A civil engineer for the navy. He commanded troops that would fly in and lay emergency airplane landing strips on south Pacific islands. Isn’t that exciting? I lead such a boring life by comparison.  
‘The Greatest Generation'. No shit. They actually fought a battle manually. No computer shortcuts. All by very basic equipment and instinct and smarts. That blows my mind. Subconscious thought: "Oh, shut up Charlotte! You’ll get yourself crying again.”

[She doesn’t realize she’s talking out loud, I swear. Sometimes it’s hilarious! Sometimes it's that truth she isn't willing to admit and consciously speak out loud.]

“There’s a movie in that side of the building. On this side of the building is the original, restored cafe. That curved, custom made bar she found in a farmer's barn. Sooo cool! And aren’t these uniforms amazing? Just classic, right? This photo is my Great Uncle Floyd, known as ‘Jude’. That Capuchin monkey found him in northern Africa. He jumped down ON him from a tree! He could hear the jet bombers coming before humans could so he’d start chattering and the soldiers would take cover. He would also point which direction to run. He saved many lives. Bijou. French for 'jewel'."

“Oh, God, Sidney! I’m doing it again, aren’t I? I’m so sorry! This probably bores you silly!”

"Well, since we got obliterated, I do like hearing stories of the successful allies".

“I sound like my MOTHER giving tours and spewing out facts and anecdotes. It’s crazy! I’m finding all this stuff interesting now--especially as I get older. But when my mom was doing all this I only half listened, like a typical know-it-all brat. I’m ashamed of that behavior, actually.”

“I’m just adoring you from afar,” he says with a wide and happy grin. “I love you sooo much, Charlotte. I’m so glad I can now tell you that, face to face. And in truth, I love hearing it reciprocated. You’re happy for the moment. I’ll take that any way I get it. You smile so purely when you do this stuff. That’s great to see." 

Charlotte, out of sheer instinct, walks quickly across the room and throws her arms around him. She delivers a tight, big hug and Sidney giggles. "Ohhh, I love you sooo much Sidney! I am sooo blessed. I know that." She pulls back with glazed eyes and awkwardly smiles to Sidney. He returns with a hug and he just holds her. For several minutes. Shared times like this just doesn't happen often enough. Too busy "doing" instead of stopping to give a hug. 

[There's no way I'm ever letting go of you. Who said that?]

“May I kiss you, Ms. Heywood?”

“Of course! Show me your best!”

“Oh, shit. I always cringe when you say that! How can I compare to the best?”

“I’m teasing you. I like that someone will kiss ME. Someone that I say 'I love you' to. That makes me so happy. (She pauses.) Ahhhh! Jesus Q.! This is just NUTS! You know I say 'Jesus Q.' to be emphatic, don't you? Stands for “Jesus Quincy Christ” and sincerely, not to malign him or use his name in vain, A fundamental Christian would be all over that, I know. (Charlotte giggles.). Let me know if that bothers you. I don't want to impose my beliefs on you."

[When she says ‘Jesus Q.’ she might as well be saying “Holy shit, I’m actually allowing myself to feel something--fully”.] 

“Charlotte. I know. You don’t have to explain that part to me. Now some other parts….? (Sidney does his ornery grin and giggles.) Ms. Heywood, you bring me down to the most humble place of being. I know you’re teaching me things that I never realized I needed--like Robin said about you. How do you thank someone for changing your life in such a big way? I’ll start with ‘thank you.’”

Sidney proceeds to kiss Charlotte with “the best he has” and there IS that connection that Charlotte makes.

“There.”

Charlotte smiles. [That's the sweetest thing he's said to me.] She mouths “'You’re welcome. A-'." She lets out a hearty belly laugh!

“For the 10th time today, ‘I love you, Sidney' but I need to add on there ‘thank you for loving me’. I know it's not easy. I can’t even beGIN to tell you what a difference that makes. I appreciate your willingness to work on things; all your efforts to try and understand me. (Charlotte tears up.) No crying! No crying! Sorry!" (She fans her face with her hands. They share a sweet smile.

“Okay, let’s head to GG’s!? THIS should be interesting!”

“Awww. I’ve seen you in action. (Sidney grabs her hand and squeezes and smiles at Charlotte.) You're fine." 

_________________

As they head down the hill to GG’s:

“Okay. This building on the right is the Murphy Calendar company factory. Over 100 years of wall art calendars were printed here. Employed 300 at the turn of the century. (Charlotte looks at Sidney and smiles.) I promise. I’ll stop! Just a few more stories. The city wanted to raise this building as well. My mom and dad stepped in for another save by paying $14,000 in back taxes, out of their own pocket in order to save the building. They got as far as setting up buckets around the place to catch water from the leaky roof. They weren't discouraged by the condition of the building. They had already completed the depot project. Mom developed Alzheimer’s before she could secure funding for the restoration. I have a copper printing plate at home from 1924 to show you. It’s fascinating! My point is, another save by Mom (and Dad). She was intent on preserving the history of this town. Plus, it’s a very fascinating building and story! I look forward to telling you more. 

“I’m done. I’m done! More later! Sorry to take off on a tangent!"

“There’s an aBUNdance of history in this little town. I can see why you are who you are, Ms. Heywood. This has been the perfect trip for me in terms of understanding YOU. You’re amazing, you know. (Sidney sneaks a look at Charlotte and she smiles a bashful smile.) Stop underestimating yourself. I knew you were doing that but not to this extent. I have excellent taste. Let’s just say that. Back slap!"

Charlotte tears up but none falling on her cheeks. [Do NOT cry, Charlotte! For God’s sake--give him a break!] “Thank you, Sidney. That means so much. You have no idea how much.” She holds her hand out and Sidney takes it down to rest on his thigh.

“Can Iiii just say...I look over in this car and I can’t believe you’re here? Sidney Parker is driving my car around Red Oak, Iowa? I can’t be-LIEVE this! From the beach of Sanditon to the farmland of Red Oak. That blows my mind! WOW...Wow...wow!“ [And you’re such a gorgeous man. Beautiful inside and out. Someone tell me, how is this even possible?]


	23. "My Best Friend"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This trip to Red Oak has certainly drawn Sidney and Charlotte closer. It's 6 hours BACK to Minneapolis. Wonder what revelation that will bring?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies if I offend anyone with the political commentary. I’m simply writing truthfully in regard to my own experiences. Thank you. Also read notes from Chapter 21 if not already done so. Thanks.

Sidney and Charlotte park in Grandma GG’s driveway. Charlotte comes around to the driver’s side of the vehicle where Sidney is waiting for her.

He reaches his hand out for her, opens his coat for her and says, “I just want to check in with you…”

“I’m going to snuggle with you, okay?”

“Absolutely.” Charlotte wraps her arms around his torso.

Charlotte pulls back and he reaches up to push the hair out of her eyes and again says, “I want to see how you’re doing? We’re heading into a whole house full of family. Are you okay with that? Your dad and Janelle?”

“Am I okay with it? NO. Will I fake it ‘til I make it... believable? Yes.”

Sidney puts his hands on the side of her face and pulls her in for a quick kiss and then pulls her in and kisses her forehead. She has buried her head on his chest and he wraps her up in his arms. They just stand there and hold a while.

She leans back and he puts one hand on the side of her face and the other hand pushes her hair back from the wind. “I love you, Charlotte Heywood and I’m so grateful to you for bringing me here. I’m grateful for your patience with me and for trusting me. I’m most grateful that we’ve made it this far.”

“I’m determined to not cry on you all day today, Sidney. (She smiles sweetly.) I can say all the same back to you. This is pret-ty amazing.” Charlotte jumps into his arms and he lifts her off her feet and they are smiling and laughing. She keeps him close and wu6hispers, “I love you sooo much, Sidney. Don’t ever forget that. She leans back and says, If I were to guess there’s one or more family members watching out the window right now. Just give me a sweet kiss.”

Sidney lowers her to the ground, puts his hand on one side of her face, lifts her chin and gives a classy kiss. They part and he says, “How was that?”

“Perfect.” They hold hands, he takes hers and gives it a kiss and they start walking to the door. “ Where did you learn to kiss like that?”

“I’m getting some private lessons from this girl I know.”

“Hmmm, well….you’re improving.”

They exchange a smile.

Meanwhile…

“Kaye! Kaye! Come here!" Brother Scott points out the window to Charlotte and Sidney. "Aww, look at those lovebirds.”

K - “Ohhh, looks he’s just holding her. If THAT isn’t love.”

Sc - “What do you think of him? Oh! Now they’re kissing.”

K - “Lemme see. Ohhhhh, I just think they’re so good with one another. He LOVES her, you can definitely tell that. Don’t you think? He hardly takes his eyes off her! Look, look, look...he has her in his arms. Oh, my God! If that isn’t the most romantic thing…?”

KR - “What are you kids doing?”

Sc - “Spying on Charlotte and Sidney!” (They laugh conspicuously.)

K - “He touches her face like she’s glass.”

KR - “Oh, my….aren’t they just the most adorable bee-U-ti-ful couple? As Grandma may well say, ‘You’re going to make the most beautiful babies!’ Just wait, she’ll say it.”

Sc - “Oh, another kiss! If they don’t hurry up and get in here the party’s gonna be over.”

KR - “How sweet. Holding hands.”

K -”Wait! What??”

KR -” Did he just kiss her hand? Awww, now come on.”

K - “Yeah, she needs to marry that boy.”

KR - ” Now that’s dreamy.”

Sc - “HEEEY….well nice you two could finally join us!” (As everyone flees away from the window.)

“Gee, what are you doing near the window, bruddah!?”

“Oh, nothing. Spying on YOU, and Sidney.”

“I figured as much. And your observation is…?”

“I think he likes you.”

“Oh, really? How can you tell?”

“He adores you. He doesn’t keep his hands, uh I mean EYES, off of you!”

“Really? Haven’t noticed…?”(Charlotte and Sidney share a smile.)

“Really, it’s you that I love to watch. You are so happy now. I haven’t seen you this happy in years and it’s long, long overdue. But tell me, why did you have to go to Europe to find him?”

“Because I’m sick of American men. Besides which, he is beautiful, inside and out. Gorgeous but humble. Veerrry British which makes me weak in the knees. I need to pinch myself! Smart. Kind. Loving. Patient—I am so lucky! (Charlotte admires Sidney as he talks with Lynn/Dad across the room.) Excuse me. I feel like I need to be in on this conversation. Let’s talk later.”

“Hey, Dad...what lies are you telling my boyfriend about me?”

“Oh, nothing, Charlotte. According to your brothers he pretty much knows everything, well, most everything, there is to know about you.”

“Yeah, I wish I could have been a mouse in the corner for that lunch! It must have been somewhat okay. He still came back to me,” (Charlotte slips her arm around Sidney’s waist.)

“What are your plans for Christmas, Dad? Is the family getting together. I believe we’re going to Kaye’s house. She and her boyfriend are hosting.”

“So, Dad….anything you want to ask me and Sidney while we’re here? We’re gonna have to be taking off in a little over an hour.”

“Yeah, when are you getting married and having babies and how are you going to make that work when you’re in different countries?” 

“God, Dad! Seriously? Just keep perpetuating this baby thing.”

“Yeah. I want to know about this separate countries situation. You know what Jason had to go through to get his Visa? That can take a year and a half! Then you have to apply for a green card. It can drag on and on.”

“Well, there’s FaceTime and Zoom now so you can do live conversations. And as far as I know, when there’s an ocean between you there’s zero chance of getting pregnant! From what I understand immaculate conception ended over 2000 years ago.”

“You ARE getting married, aren’t you?”

“Dad, I swear to God in heaven, if you don’t stop this obnoxious behavior we’ll be leaving.” 

“No? Aren’t you getting married? That’s what Scott said.”

“Oh, really? Who’d he hear that from?”

“Well, Sidney.”

Charlotte turns to Sidney and says, “Are you going to explain yourself or is this another one of my brothers’ sick jokes? (Charlotte turns to glare at the two of them on the couch. They talk and elbow each other.)

“I think what he means is I passed all three stages of approval by Scott and Jason. I am certified to be able to date you.”

“Okay...well, Dad. That’s different than getting married and this family needs to get off this baby kick. It’s getting embarrassing. No babies unless married. No married unless dating. No dating unless I like him. Do I like you? “ Charlotte asks with a tease.

“I don’t know but I’m certified!” 

Charlotte and Dad laugh. Charlotte leans in to Sidney and whispers, “‘Good one!!’” Those overhearing (Scott and Jason) got a big kick out of that too.

“So, Charlotte...are you talking babies? You two would make such beautiful babies.”

Charlotte rolls her eyes to Sidney, “Thank you, Grandma.” 

Kaye and Keri just burst out laughing. “Didn’t I tell you! It’s okay, Sidney. She just loves babies so she says that. In this instance it’s true.” Keri slaps his bicep.

“So, Grandma...I brought you some video of our skit last night.”

“Oh, you did?” 

“Yes. I promised, remember?”

“Now who’s the boy? Ron Vincent. You probably know his dad, Elmer. Lived just a block from Scott’s. Toward Corning. Right on that corner. The white house.”

[People know where other people live here? Am I hearing this?]

“Yes. I know the parents, not him. He’s a twin isn’t he?”

“Yes. That’s right!”

[They know siblings, too? This is getting pretty weird. Small town syndrome?]

“So, let me turn this on for you. It’s that ‘baby it’s cold outside’ song.” (Charlotte sings a few lines for her.) 

“Yes, I know that one.”

“Okay…”

“Dad! You and Janelle get this next--if you want.”

Grandma GG watches the whole thing and says, “Hmmm, well that’s real cute. I love to watch you do that. Reminds me of your mother. You’re starting to look more and more like her, Miss. (Grandma puts a hand up on Charlotte’s cheek.) Beautiful. Did I ever tell you, you should be an actress in one of my stories?”

(Charlotte laughs. She hears that every time she comes to visit.) “Yes, I think I’ve heard that from you. That’s very sweet, Grandma. Thank you for that compliment.”

“So where is Sidney?” 

“He went into the kitchen. Probably getting pizza.”

“Okay, good! I just wanted a minute to tell you I think Sidney is perfect for you. You should marry him.”

“Well, he’s got to ask me first.” Charlotte chuckles, “Why do you say that?”

“I can tell he adores you, Charlotte. He watches you all the time. Do you not see that, honey?”

“No. I really don’t. If I ever observed that I’d probably cry, Grandma! When has anyone ever just watched me out of admiration? Nada-Zip-Zero-None!” 

“I do kinda really love-like him a lot Grandma! If he’d ever ask me to marry him I wouldn’t be able to say “yes!’ fast enough! Isn’t that weird? I dated Steve for years and had some trepidation in marrying him. Then there’s Sidney! I’ve known him about 2 months but, I’d marry him tomorrow!”

“Now don’t share that with Scott or Jason--they’d probably say something right in front of him. Those two get together and it’s right back into their shenanigans! Aka - Big Brother Buttheads”

“Is that crazy, Grandma? Like, how can it feel so right so quickly?”

“It just happens that way sometimes, darlin’. You two are best friends. We can see that. You started off as friends and that’s why it doesn’t matter how fast it goes. You’re friends first! Who doesn’t want to marry their best friend?!”

“Grandma, you have counseled me through many a relationship. Do you know that? Too many to count!”

“Uhh-hmmm.” (She smiles sweetly.)

“Thank you!” Charlotte leans over and gives a kiss. Charlotte yells out, “Dad do you guys want to see this?”

“Yes!”

“Okay. It’s all ready to go. Push the arrow.”

“You know how you can thank me?”

“Oh! How? I’d love to!”

“Make some beautiful babies?” And she starts to laugh.

“Grandma! You are so funny about that! Thing is...I know you mean it!!”

“Of course I do! I want more grandbabies!”

“I’ll see what I can do about that." (Charlotte winks.) "OhmyGod!" (Charlotte puts her open hand up to her mouth.) “I can’t believe I just said that!” 

The two start laughing. Loudly. Turning heads in the room. Grandma GG knows Charlotte’s prudish tendencies.

“Oh, dear Lord...moving along...Hi, Aunt Pam. Steal me away from this insanity!” Sidney walks up to join Charlotte and her conversation with her Aunt. “Sidney, you’re on your own for now.”

“Greeeaaaat!,” Sidney says in 100% sarcasm as he walks away.

“How are things going? Have you talked to Janelle yet?” 

“No. I figure I can buy myself time on that one. There’s nothing wrong with her other than she isn’t my mom. My mom should be standing next to my dad. What can I say? She’s a nice lady and she takes good care of Dad. I’m just trying to reconcile that she has been in the picture for 10+ years. THAT hurts, ya’ know! Dad needs to answer to that!”

“How are things going with Sidney?”

“So amazing I don’t want to jinx it! He’s everything I was hoping and praying to find. How this happened to me I do not know. It’s incredible! He’s so cute, I just want to hold on and not let go. When he holds me...it’s insane. Takes my breath away!”

“What are you guys talking about?”

“Charlotte was just saying how ideal Sidney seems for her.”

“You know, cousin...you two walk in the room and there’s like an aura around you guys. Like you’re blessed from heaven. I’m not kidding you!”

“Hm mmm, I would say the same. You both seem very happy. Very natural and relaxed with one another. And he’s FUNNY, isn’t he?”

“Yes, he has a great sense of humor. He makes me laugh. What a difference! Don’t get me started, I’ll cry”. (She starts to well up in tears.)

“Awww.”

“I love him and he did tell me the same so I’m hopeful. We’ll see. Oh my God, the thought of a relationship scares the s-h-i-t out of me!”

“But different man, different time. That’s apples and oranges.”

“You’re right, Mama. Just pick up the ball and keep running—AWAY from Steve!”

All three laugh.

“Charlotte!”

“Yes, Grandma.” 

“You have beautiful legs. Did anyone ever tell you that?”

[Iiii told her!]

Charlotte throws a glance at Sidney and they both smile.

“Well, thank you, Grandma. They’re YOUR legs!” (Charlotte goes over to stand by her.) “See! I need a picture of this. (Charlotte hands off her phone.). Love you, Grandma.”

“Yeah, none of us got them. Lucky girl!”

“Well, I want to go talk to Jason and Scott and see what this 'certification' is about. I’ll be back.”

(“I hope this all works out for them. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her this happy. Have you?”)

“Okay, so brothers…”

“Sidney, would you bring in my gifts from the car? Thank you.”

“What the hell are you two up to?! What’s this ‘certification’ process? Please tell me you didn’t do like 21 questions and all that crap." 

"No. It was three separate sections of quizzing and interviewing—way more than 21 questions!“ (Jason is pointing his finger at Scott from behind.)

“Iiiii didn’t! I basically checked out while he was being all weird.”

“Nooo, now I just wanted to get to know him better. All we knew was he was from England. That’s it! We couldn’t send you off to be with a man we didn’t know! From a foreign country!”

“Why not? You did with Steve, basically. He was from a different planet!“ 

“Good one!” Jason softly laughs.

“And that’s why someone else needs to look into things THIS time. I think we all learned our lesson on the last one.” 

“Oh, did ‘WEEEEE’? So, the general consensus is he’s a good fit for me?”

“Yes, we both agree you two seem really compatible and he was so easy going with us. We did tease him quite a bit and he played along. We feel like he’s a worthy candidate.”

“Do you like him, Jason?”

“You know, I really do but I worry about the expat stuff for you. That's really trying for a couple. It all can take over a year-year and a half and then you have to wait for the green card, That could be six months or more. No matter which country you end up in there’s still this Visa hassle before you can get married. It sucks, I’m just warning you.”

“I do kinda like him A LOT!! I feel very lucky to have found him.”

“I think he feels the same about you. I don’t know. Ask Scott. He asked him to tell him what you mean to him.”

“Oooooohh no!! Seriously?”

“Apparently it kinda blew Scott away. Maybe he can fill you in on some of it.”

“Okay, bruddah...what is this deal that you quizzed Sidney about how he felt about me?”

“Did Jason spill that? That was meant to be between me and Sidney.” 

“Well, now I know about it so spill it to me.”

“Well, he said he fell in love with you at first sight. He said you were impossible to get to know and that you gave him the run around for weeks. He said he walked you home, you guys kissed and you did your escape routine. He found you and followed you to the Midwest.”

“C’mon, anything ELSE?”

“He said he was in love with you and that your relationship felt different and he didn’t want it to end. He also said, ‘We’ve been dating only 8 days but I could marry her tomorrow. That’s how sure I am.’”

Charlotte leans back and looks intently at Scott. “Is that really what he said?”

“That’s really what he said. He said a couple times in that conversation how much he loves you and wants a future with you.”

“Whaaat? He DID?”

“YEEESSS! Are you telling me it hasn’t come up?”

“No, we’ve just spoken around it.”

“Well, not with me he hasn’t.” 

“He was very clear and ready to admit that.”

“Woowww!”

“Speaking of Mr. Wow. Here he comes with your bag of gifts.”

“Thank you,” and she gives him a quick kiss on the cheek. Sidney stays by her side as she hands out gifts to see how she handles things. [In case I can help in any way—act as a distraction?]

“Dad I want to give you your birthday gift.”

He opens the card, reads it and says, ”What is this?"

“That’s 75 one dollar bills so you can go pick out a birthday gift for yourself!”

“Well, that’s a neat idea! Am I really all those bills old?" 

"Yes, you are, Dad and that’s a good thing! Congrats to you, Dad. Who’s going to make it rain? “ 

(Scott picks up on that right away and puts the bills in his hand and flies them all over the room. That gets everyone laughing.)

“That was awe-some! I love it! Now THIS is your Christmas gift so it’s up to you if you want to open it now. I’ll tell you this...I had a hard time pushing ‘confirm purchase’ on this gift. Damn near killed me!”

“Well, I better open it, huh?" Dad opens a book about a supposed conspiracy to get Trump out of office. [Poor, poor Trump!] "Enjoy it in good health, Dad.”

“Is that what it says it is? God, Charlotte! What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking he’s kinda hard to buy for at this age so I’ll get him a book about his hero. I know, it makes me sick to my stomach too.”

“Mom is rolling over with all this republican stuff.” 

“Ooo, can you imagine how much she would hate Trump.” 

“That would have been humorous to see, actually. You can burn it later.”

“Janelle I have just a small thing for you...some holiday towels and an assortment of craft beer from local breweries in the Twin Cities. That seems odd giving beer but I knew you liked to try different ones.”

“Well thank you. How thoughtful of you. I’m going to love this—both of these things."

"Oh, good! I’m so glad! And Janelle I want to thank you again for taking such good care of Dad.”

“Well, I am happy to do it.”

[The girl is amazing. She fakes it until she makes it...believable. There’s a huge, giving heart in there, too.]

“Aunt Pammy, this is just a small thing but I know you like it.”

Auntie opens to find a small bottle of Chanel No. 5.

“Oh, Charlotte...thaaaank you! You knooow I love this and I am getting to the bottom of the last one you gave me.” 

“Well, perfect! Whenever I smell that perfume I think of you. I love ya’ tons, lady!”

“Grandma, I have a little gift for you, too”. 

“Elizabeth Taylor’s White Diamonds! You remembered, Charlotte! “ 

“I did! I had to smell a few different ones but that was DEFINITELY it when I smelled it. Smells how I think of you, Grandma. So yummy!”

"Listen everyone! Before we leave can I get a picture of all of us? I'd like one that isn't taken at a funeral if you don't mind. Besides, we have all the kids and Jason's family from France. Everyone game?

“Yeah. Sounds good. Good idea. Line us up, Charlotte!”

[She takes charge like she has before. No youngest child inhibitions here.]

"Okay. I think we're ready. Jenelle, would you mind taking the photo?” [Isn't this a surreal moment?] "THANK YOU! I'll text you all a copy." (Charlotte turns to Sidney and sighs. They share a smile, meant for only two.)

“We’re going to take off...6 hours to go. Ugh!" Aunt Pam (5 mins to say good-bye), Kaye and Kari (5 minutes to say good bye) and the same with all the Heywoods. 

[This is just her. This is how she is. I could have guessed this. She has to make each good bye meaningful to each person. It’s fun to watch her so animated and happy. God, I love this girl! Woman! Well, she’s more than that. I'm beginning to realize she's my best friend. She is, isn't she?]


	24. "3 Hours North"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte and Sidney are making their trek back to Minnesota. It's 6 more hours together in the car which has proven to be the best part of the entire trip. No interruptions. One-on-one attention. They definitely are learning about each other and it's confirming their feelings for one another.

After 25 minutes to say good bye again...and again... Charlotte and Sidney were on their way. 

“Is that it? Are you sure?” Sidney asks in a tease.

Charlotte nods yes.

He reaches down to hold her hand. With a sweet smile he asks, “Are you ready?”

Charlotte nods yes again and starts to tear up.

"C’mon." He holds her hand all the way to her car door.

"Can you see anything?" asks Jason.

"Not really. They’re on the other side of the car. I see her back and his head once in a while."

"Let’s go on the other side of the car and put on a show!" Charlotte giggles. "I just know they're standing there."

They hold hands and walk casually to the driver’s side of the car. They start to kiss sweetly and then make it more romantic and intense. Sidney sends a thumbs up to the window and dips her.

He pulls Charlotte back up and she is really laughing. “Whoa! I didn’t expect that! The two of them are laughing and Sidney puts his arms over her shoulders, pulls her in in the crook of his elbow and kisses her forehead. He holds her snuggly with that one arm and he slides down to find her hand and bring it to his chest. He whispers in her ear, “I love you Charlotte. Thank you for bringing me.”

Just then the door opens and Scott yells out, ”Stop that now and get on the road!”

Sidney yells back, “Did you like that, Scott?”

(In a grandpa voice). “Awww, go on now you crazy kids! Don’t forget to call when you get there! Drive. Safe. Okay?”

“Will do!”

“Bye, BRUDDAH! Love you!”

“Love you too, Sissy!”

Charlotte and Sidney take a few seconds to smile at each other over the top of the car before getting in. 

“OOO-KAAAY. Six hours, right?” Sydney asks.

“Yes. Unless I make up time on the interstate,” replies Charlotte.

“Well, let’s do what we gotta do to get there faster. Okay?”

“Don’t worry. I thought we’d break it up at the halfway point in Ames that always helps me. Then I could show you around the historic downtown. Whatever. Let’s just see how we’re doing by then.You want to drive?”

“Okay, rule is here we have to the interstate to talk about the trip. After that it’s only if you want to and you have to stop by Adel. These rules apply because of a couple visits that were so awful I couldn’t stop talking about how horrid everything was on the trip. 6 hours of bitching and complaints and crying. Had to lay some ground rules after that. I think it’s a healthy boundary, actually. So, you have 45 minutes.”

“First! Highway trivia. Always stimulating conversation.”

“Interstate-80”

“Did you know...that I-80 is the first highway to go across the nation? It was commissioned by Eisenhower in the ‘50’s and did not get completed until 1986. It runs from New York to San Francisco.”

“Highway #34 that we are on runs from Colorado to Chicago. It is named after the 34th Red Bull Battalion of World War II. My father-in-law was in that battalion. First ones in, last ones out. Front line. Hand-to-hand combat. Friends dying around you? Those soldiers had no mental health care. No wonder Steve’s dad was an alcoholic. I would be TOO! I could never get him to empathize with any of that.

“Wooo! Don’t get me started. Makes me cry! I bet you’re surprised by that. (Sidney just looks over and smiles. He’s grateful Charlotte shares her emotions freely. It challenges HIM to do so.)

“Aaaaand, how do you think it went?”

“Your family is everything I expected them to be!”

“Meaning…?”

“They love each other in their own way. You’d take a bullet for each other—no doubt about that!! You all resemble each other in spirit—you’re feisty. Especially you, Charlotte. You fight like the youngest. Very fiery. Lively. Very determined. Some of you REALLY resemble each other physically like you and Kari. There’s no doubt you’re family.

“I could listen to you three girls all day. The laughter you three generate is addictive because it was true, heartfelt belly laughing. Your brother said you were the instigator and I do believe that’s true from what I observed. (Sidney smiles and winks at Charlotte.). I can only imagine what you were like as younger girls. In full disclosure, I recorded you guys when we were at Meir’s. I’m going to love it!”

“Awww. That’s so sweet! You’re gonna make me cry! (Charlotte sticks out her lower lip.) Do you s’pose there will ever come a day when you’re around and I actually DON’T cry? That’s a rhetorical question you know.”

“You are so sentimental! Who knew? God! Is there anything WRONG or un-cool about you, Parker?? I’m beginning to wonder!”

(Charlotte stares and Sidney preens.)

“In regard to your comment...Christmas was a BLAST! You’d get the boys there and it was crazy. Three boys and 3 girls. All 2 years apart and I was the youngest. Non-stop laughing. I was so blessed.”

“All the squeeling, the laughter and the whispering...you girls, you WOMEN, made this trip to the US worth it. Among many other things, the laughter will be an easy recall memory. I’ll need that down the road.”

Sidney hesitates. Goes inside his head for several miles.

Sidney is a right-handed driver so Charlotte can’t just reach for his hand. She puts a squeeze on his thigh and then he grabs her hand. 10 mins. later Sidney finds a clearing in the fog.

“Your brothers! Scott is the consummate oldest brother. Pretty much has you and Jason doing what he tells you to do...and then...there’s YOU! The fighting youngest tiger cub. You’re pretty bossy, Ms. Heywood. Or should I say leader. You take charge, that's for sure. I think I saw a bit of what Robin was talking about you having to be heard. You stood up to your brother. Got what you wanted on a few occasions, calling me fiancé and also at Grandma GG’s. He DOES love to tease you. He knows how to get a rise out of you and at the same time you take the challenge to not react. You two are fun to watch.

“Mary made the comment that the boys admitted they ‘teased you like a beatle on its back’.”

“OH, they DID, did they!? Good analogy! That’s EXACTLY what it was like! Relentless! Ruthless!”>

“After meeting them I have no doubt. Relationships with your brothers definitely made you tough, Charlotte. You’re definitely a fighter! You don’t give up!

“Your brother, Jason, is very respectful of you. He has good things to say. Of course you remind him of your mother at times, I guess and you know what that means….?” 

“Not complimentary.” 

“Do you look like her?”

“In the eyes. That’s it. JASON looks like a male version of her. Blond, blue-eyed and dark skin. He looks like the Donalds’ side. Swedish. Scott and I look like the Heywoods. Irish. Same coloring. I actually resemble Aunt Pam not my mom. In features and physique. Don’t say it!” (34DDD)

“Kari and Kaye, neither one, are built like her. I’m Heywood all the way in stature.”

“Your dad is very handsome. I can’t wait to see your mom’s photo. Sounds like he was pretty popular growing up there.” 

“Her photo was on my mantle. She was the girl in the strapless dress. Blond.”

“THAT was your mom?! She’s beautiful!” 

“That’s when my dad met her. In college. She was a classic beauty. Like Robin said. I was always proud to have her attend my miscellaneous events so I could stand by her and show her off. (Charlotte dazes off.) Yes. Very pretty and BRILLIANT--not just a pretty face.”

“Wow, Charlotte. No wonder. You have good genes.”

“Thank you, Sidney. That's very sweet of you to say.”

“So your dad, pretty much a hellian, huh? A troublemaker?”

“AbsoLUTEly! I have stories which I’ll share later. His reputation precedes him.”

“He IS proud of you but likes to compare you to your mom. Do you like that?”

“No. Because any time Dad or the boys compare me to Mom it’s not meant as a compliment. It’s kind of like a really back-handed compliment. I choose to take it as one because I basically learned survival skills! They don’t ever talk about her personal attributes. They paint everything in poor light. She was bi-polar! They didn’t know that and if they did they wouldn’t put any effort in to learning about it! Let alone trying to understand or empathize. They missed out!

I think he means I can get wound up. I know I’m not LIKE her, except in a good way--in terms of making things happen. She was a bulldozer! She didn’t care if people liked her. I’m quite a bit more sensitive than that. Yes, I can get ‘wound up’ but you never get anything done by winning the ‘Most Meek’ contest. That’s how I see it. I feel like I’m a nice cross between my parents. The best of both.”

“You can tell your dad is a learned man. Sounds like you all are smart and well-educated. Your dad is a teacher and has two Masters, Scott has a Masters, you have two Masters and a PhD. Jason has a BS and your mom was a teacher with a Masters. That’s 5 for five and 6 advanced degrees. That’s impressive.”

“Your town is idyllic. Right out of a story book. I love the way it’s laid out on a hill. That gives it so much more allure and interest. I can’t believe the number of historic buildings and houses that are there. It really is impressive. I can see why you would have an interest in architecture. Speaking of….why didn’t you tell me you had a real estate license?”

“Still do. I HAVE a real estate license.” 

“Are you planning on doing something in real estate?”

“It’s on hold with my broker. In case I want to sell or do something in real estate. I’ve had it for like 5 years now. I spent two years in sales when I needed to work after the divorce. If I ever were to sell my house I’d save a huge commission. Hopefully that won’t happen.” (Charlotte turns to look out the window.)

[I hope she’ll share all that with me. I can tell it makes her extremely sad.]

“One of the most telling things people said is what Robin said. You two have a sixth sense between you, don’t you?"

"Yes. (Charlotte laughs.) Yes I believe you could say that. Like twins and their own language.”

“She knows you very well. A lot of what she said was very insightful. First, I’m intrigued you’re like Jesus. I think she was referring to how you treat others. And your foundational faith and your willingness to share that message with others. I would agree. I like that she says you make your decisions that way—based on your faith. I agree. You seem to always consider things carefully. Very true. You’re also highly sensitive to injustice. Uhhh, yeah. I can totally see that being the case. Don’t want to have to find out! But wow, your love and ambition in life is children? She didn’t even HESITATE when she said that! And you agreed. Didn’t you?” 

“I believe I shared a smile with you.”

“I just wanted to confirm what I thought you communicated to me.”

“Why? Does that surprise you?”

“I don’t know...not really, I guess. Not now, knowing you better after this trip.”

“Please take this the right way…? I’m happy! I’m happy to hear that. Like you asked me on the way down. I’m happy we’re in agreement on that. I would be very sad if we weren’t.”

Sidney and Charlotte share a smile.

“Okay...(Charlotte and Sidney seem to take a deep breath at the same time.) I feel like Coke & Pepsi brought up some interesting things between us. Did you?“ 

“Embarrassing things? Yes.” (He giggles.)

“Well, if you’re up for it. Can we do some more?” 

“Yes. I suppose you can. (Sidney hesitates and clears his throat.). First, Charlotte, I need to share something with you.”

”Okay. What is it?

”Charlotte, I owe you an apology—in a big way. (Charlotte looks over sincerely with a sweet expression. [No idea of where this is going.]. More than once during our visit I heard mention of your “girl nextdoor” status. Everyone spoke highly of what you meant to your male friends and basically, how you created and nurtured those friendships. (Charlotte looks out of the tops of her eyes, questioning, waiting to see what’s coming next.)

”I need to tell you how sorry I am for the way I acted that night. I could tell I hurt your feelings—a lot. [That’s the first and only time I’ve seen that expression on her face. She was very hurt by my actions.] I know that and I’m sorry I didn’t give you more consideration. I swear to you, I understand your message about ‘jealousy and anger’ and I will do better next time. Please forgive me.”

It’s times like these when Charlotte falls deeper and deeper in love with Sidney. [He says he’s sorry! Would I ever have gotten that from Steve? NEVER! There would have been some back-handed comment that I caused the situation or...whatever!]

Charlotte reaches her hand over onto Sidney’s thigh. “Thank you, Sidney. That means so much. You truly are surprising me, you know that?” (Charlotte spends some extra time just staring at Sidney—his profile as he drives.) [OhmyGod! I can’t believe I’m sitting here with him. He’s driving my car. He’s NICE! He likes me—the very imperfect me! Oh, God! I’m so lucky! Please don’t take this away.]

Charlotte clears her throat. “Well, let’s see what we have here. Have you ever been in a significant relationship?”

“Oh, that’s in there, is it?” (Sidney laughs out loud.)

“It sure is! With a star beside it!”

“Yes. I was engaged once. A long time ago.”

“Whaaat? You were?”

“Yes”.

“What happened?”

“We broke up,” he says with a semi-smile.

“Sidney! Don’t bullshit me here. You’ve never mentioned it before.”

“It really is insignificant. At the time it wasn’t. But it means zero to me now.”

“Well, can you share with me what it was?”

“Eliza Campion. My Highschool sweetheart.”

“Aaaaand?”

“We went off to college. We made promises. Made it through the first two years so I thought we were really going to be together for life. I was young and stupid. I bought her the ring, we set the date way out in the future—like 2 years or something ridiculous.”

“I came home early one time from college to surprise her aaaaand, I surprised her! In bed with a guy I recognized from a party.” 

“Oh, Sidney...that must have been horrible. Sounds like you were happy up until then.”

“I was 20 years old. What did I know about 'happiness'? I was a kid. A BABY by comparison. That was 15 years ago! That’s crazy!”

Charlotte let some time pass and reached over for his hand. “I’m glad you’re here for me. I would have been crushed if I actually lost you to that bitch.” (She giggles)

“Me, too”! (He gave her a contented grin)

“I love you, Sidney. So weird to be saying that to you in daylight!”

(With a laugh). “True! We do a lot of communicating in dim light, don’t we? Why is that?”

“It’s so romantic. Luuuve it!”

Some time passed in silence.

“Okay, what else is in there?”

“What’s the best gift you’ve given/rec’d?”

“Given? I wrote a song once and performed it for my mom. Received? A sentimental ring from my mom. I got it for my birthday, 3 years ago.”

“So how much of a performer are you, Mr. Parker? I have a guitar. Would you play for me when we get home?”

“Sure! I’d love to. Why didn’t you say you had a guitar?”

“Why weren’t you more forthcoming with your skills and abilities?”

“I’m not THAT good. I just play around.”

“I will love whatever skill level you are. I’ve always wanted a musical boyfriend to serenade me at night.” (Charlotte smiles)

“My best gift received - my kitty when I was 9 years old. I’m not sure on given. I used to hand make all my gifts.”

“Who do you call when you’re upset?”

“I don’t.” 

“Then what do you do? You brood about it, don’t you, Sidney? I’ve seen you.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes and that’s not healthy. Now you can call ME, right?”

“Yes. I suppose so.” [I’d much rather you be WITH me.]

“Sue. I’ve cried on her shoulder more times than I care to admit. She’s a literal SAINT! I owe her my sanity, I’m telling you. I talk to Robin, too.”

“Favorite place you’ve visited.”

“It’s got to be the US, now.”

“Paris and Venice-both are magical. Florence is amazing, too. We need to go back to this one. You never answered it the first time around. What scares you?”

“Losing you, now that I finally found you.”

“Awww, thank you.” (Sidney smiles a contemplative smile.)

“Do you believe in love at first sight?” 

“Obviously! But it’s not just the ‘sight’ thing. It’s EVERYTHING! When they are there, when YOU were there that first time, actually in front of me, it’s like...your smile. Your laugh. Your mannerisms felt really familiar—almost like we had met before. It’s that warm familiarity that keeps you trying to get inside, at least in my case. When you walked out the door that first day I said to myself, ‘What just happened?’”

“I don’t know. Maybe once. He was engaged. We just looked at each other like we knew we were star-crossed lovers. Like in another place and time, maybe. I DO remember there were goosebumps. Weird.”

“I can’t live without…?”

“Seeing water.”

“Sunshine.”

“Apples or oranges?” 

“Grapefruit.”

“Sidney! Dear Lord! Oranges.”

“What are you into and good at?”

“Boxing.”

“WHAT? You box?”

“Yeah. And I’d say I’m pretty good at it too!”

“Why is this the first I’ve heard of it?:

“Because of your reaction. Case in point.”

“Oh, God, Sidney. Let us come back to this.”

“Swimming and teaching swimming.”

“Really?”

“Yes, I was a lifeguard and I was a Water Safety Instructor for the Red Cross - 14 years.”

“I would love to time travel back to?”

“The 1960’s. I’d like to better understand those times. Forward to…? 2030. Where am I 10 years from now?”

Back to? 1920’’s, pre 1929. Forward to? No thanks. Not interested.”

“I love to listen to?”

“You sing.”

“Awww, that’s so sweet, Sidney. You must want something from me?”

“Seriously, I’ve grown accustomed to your voice. It’s comforting for me.”

“Ohhh, you’re DEFINITELY seeking some kind of sexual favor.”

Sidney’s expression is PRRRIIIIICELESS! 

“WHAT did you say??????”

Charlotte is laughing hysterically! Tears coming down her cheeks! She CANNOT stop laughing! Like laughing with her cousins! This goes on a while...when she thinks she’s got it under control and starts to talk she loses it again. The look on Sidney’s face was complete SHOCK! Now he’s just smiling and shaking his head “no.”

“Oh, my God. I can’t breathe right now!” (She’s got her head between her knees...still laughing.) "Kinda like ‘safe word’, right?”

“Except a whole LOT more graphic, Miss Prude! God! I canNOT beLIEVE you said that!”

“Ohhh, but your expression was worth every ounce of my reputation. I’m sorry, I’ll never forget this!”

Sidney turns to her and puts his hand on her forearm and says, “I won’t either” with a little smart a** grin.

“I suppose I deserve that!”

“Okay, I’ll answer the question...your voice. I want to hear it every day. It’s comforting to me. Can I say that, Sidney? I don’t want to presume. It’s okay if it isn’t. God, that’s really fast. I’m not thinking, I guess I feel like its been longer than it has been. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to box you in.”

Unconsciously speaking out loud Charlotte says, ”Ooh, God… Why did I even do that?” Now realizing what she said: “Oh, shit.” And she turns toward the window. “I’m an idiot.”

Sidney smiles. “ I’m waiting for you to add something to the end of that.”

“Oh, good one. GREAT one actually!”

“No. That’s it. I love your voice and I did from the beginning. Maybe that was the familiar thing about you that first day, now that I think about it. For sure a big attraction. (In reflection). I do….love your...voice.” (And her eyes start to glaze over as she looks out the window.)

“You know, I’m going to switch places with you. I don’t think I’m cut out for the Audubon. (He smiles). There’s a rest stop coming up.”

“I’m going to hit the restroom.” (Charlotte takes off. She’s running away, at least to the sanctuary of the restroom. She takes a while and then a while longer. Now Sidney is getting concerned. [Did she take off?] Just then she comes out of the restroom, drying off her face. [Has she been crying?]

“Heeeyy, I was worried about you.”

“Worried that I had run away?” 

“Maybe a little. You have a reputation you know. I can vouch for it.” (Sidney teases) 

“If I wasn’t in the middle of Iowa I would consider it.” (Charlotte awkwardly smiles.)

“Charlotte, come over here. I need to talk to you and you need to listen...if you remember I said I loved your singing voice just before that, right? Just before you shocked the shit out of me! (He laughs!) How could I ever hear it if I weren’t there with you, beside you? In that same vain how could you hear my voice if I weren’t with YOU?

“Look, Charlotte. I think it’s pretty clear we want to be together, right? And we got to that conclusion in just a few days. It doesn’t really matter how long it took, it’s more that we got here.”

“What does that mean for us?”

“When I told you I loved you that night with the baby, that’s my commitment to you. I have never said that to anyone. Just you. Therefore I don’t take that lightly. I should have made it clear for you. That’s my commitment so presume all you want...okay?”

“Do you mean that?”

“Yes! I knew from the beginning, back in Sanditon! I just had to get you to let me in. You’ve made me so happy, Charlotte.” (Sidney opens his arms to hug her.)

Charlotte goes to the snuggle position and Sidney envelopes her. In her ear he whispers, “I appreciate all you said.”

“Thank you for this embrace we have, Sidney. I want you to know how much this means, to be held by you. It feels safe. I had forgotten what 'safe' feels like.” (She pulls back to see his face.). With teardrops slowly falling down her cheeks she says, “It’s been so long. I don’t even know when I last felt safe.”

“I’m here whenever you need it.”

“Thank you”. She wipes her cheeks and then lightly gives Sidney a quick kiss. Then she places her hands at the base of Sidney’s neck and plays with the curls and starts kissing his neck.

“Okay, now you know that drives me absolutely crazy. It gives me shivers. You know that, right?”

Charlotte smiles.

“Oh, of COURSE you know that! (Sidney smiles.) All part of your kissing magic, isn’t it?” (Charlotte giggles.) 

“If your intention is to drive me MAD, you’re succeeding!”

Charlotte jokes, “Meet me in the car.”

______________________________

“My turn…”

“Any nervous habits?”

“I talk too much. (She glances at Sidney and he lifts his eyebrows.) Okay, quite a bit more than usual.”

“I space off—trance like.”

“Favorite article of clothing?”

“I have these 501 Levi’s that are perfectly shrunk to fit my body. They're faded and tattered. I also have a pair of red high top Chuck Taylors that I love. I can’t choose just one.”

“A tshirt that Tom and I got on a trip into London. It’s super soft. I have it with me! I love to wear it because it feels so good on. It’s getting faded and the design is all but worn off but I love it.”

“Favorite writer?”

“Man! I like poetry and non-fiction. I can’t do fiction. It bores me. It isn’t real. It isn’t educational. If I’m going to spend my precious time reading I need to get something out of it. The emotional rollercoaster of fiction is too much for me. ‘Ironic’, you say?” Charlotte giggles.

“The Harry Potter books were fabulous. I like the Bourne series. James Bond. Uhhh...fiction! Thriller novels. I like the escape. I read every day—I try to. You know that’s one of my best visual memories of us together--early on. On the plane we both were reading for hours with each other. I thought that was a good sign, actually.”

[I love this man. I LOVE this man. Sweeeet Jesus, protect me.] 

“What do you daydream about?”

“My future. A better financial picture. My future vocation. (Subconscious babble again.) Oh, boy. Can I say this? You.”

“Yes, you can say that. I’d say the same.”

Charlotte leans forward in her seat to see Sidney’s entire face. "Really?"

Sidney smiles. “Yes.”

[Whoa.]

“What do you do when you’re mad?”

“I yell. Loudly. Former cheerleader. I face off if I’m really pissed. I may choose to leave even. Well, no. Not likely. For the most part I stand and fight. If it’s a matter of injustice or a challenge of my integrity, I won’t lose. What am I saying? I never leave. (She glances at Sidney.) That I remember. Just sayin’! (Sidney nods his head.) I’m a door slammer, kinda big time on that. Unfortunately. Thankfully, living alone it doesn’t happen any more. Weasley gets shut in the bathroom for a few hours or put in his travel carrier if he is particularly naughty and makes me mad. Hard to be mad at him though.”(Charlotte giggles.)

“I saw you react to the yelling on a tv show. I yell, Charlotte. I may slam a hand down on a table. If it’s necessary with a guy I would fight him. God, I sound like a brute, don’t I? There would have to be something in regard to safety or danger in order to do that.” 

“With females I generally yell and leave. I don’t like to fight with women.”

“But Sidney, you can’t yell and take your ball and leave the playground. That’s not resolving anything. I can agree to disagree. I can agree to revisit something later if things are too heated BUUUUT I need to feel heard. In short, I need resolution so it’s all dealt with and we can move on. Make sense? (Sidney is listening but has no expression. Charlotte carries on hoping for some kind of reaction.) Resolution means confirming the point of view of the other person. Validating them. I need to feel heard and hopefully understood. Not 'right'. Understood. You’ll know me well enough that whatever it is we’re arguing about I’m sincere in my beliefs. It’s not about ‘winning’ or being 'right', it’s about validation and feeling heard. Valued. Worthy. And that the feelings of the other person have been considered. Caring for the other person even in times of disagreement. I’m sure you heard that a time or two about me on this visit, haven’t you? Robin? My brothers too, I would imagine.”

Sidney nods. “I get it. I know what you’re looking for.”

“Sidney, my anxiety level just rose dramatically. It’s like right in the center of my chest right now. You need to know, I need physical space around me. A couple feet at least, all around. And please know that I don’t want to have to fight with you. I must feel strongly about the issue in order to fight. I’m not willing to fight if it gets ugly. I’ll leave. I want to be honest about that. I don’t want to be naive and think there will be no arguments but...I have a line that can’t be crossed. If that line is crossed and I leave it means I won’t be back. I have to be honest about that.”

“I understand.”

“We’ll have to figure this out for us.” 

“Yes. Of course we will.”

(Several minutes pass before Sidney asks the next question.)

“A phrase or word you say a lot?”

“Does that make sense? Right? Okay?”

“My pleasure!” (Sidney has a very devilish grin on his face.) 

(Charlotte giggles.) “ Oh, I should have thought of that one!”

“Where do you do most of your heavy thinking?”

“Walking. Driving and showering, too.”

“Swimming.”

“Naked. That helps the thoughts flow, right?”

“Well, let me say this…”

Charlotte shoots her hand up. “STOP! I can’t plug both my ears while driving!” They look at each other and laugh.

“I should say walking on the beach when I’m there, in Sanditon.”

“Earliest memory?”

“I can’t recall the earliest but I do remember the most vivid thing. My parents had given me jumbo marshmallows for a treat (duh!) and I started choking on one. My mom just started crying and holding me. My dad pushed her aside and reached his hand down my throat and pulled it out. That huge hand coming down upon my face is what I remember. His face was above me and was blurred due to tears. I was crying but I could see his dark hair through my tears. I was 3-3 ½.”

"I was very sick once when I was a little child. Whenever I woke up my dog was laying by my bed, day or night."

"Awww, that’s so dear, isn’t it? Pets are the best."

“Name of future children? Boy? Girl?”

“Oh, c’mon! That is NOT in there!”

“Yes it is! I swear! See!” (Sidney holds the book up and points!)

“That’s CRAZY! Not like we need to get into THAT right now.”

“Okay, humor me. What are your favorite names?”

“Uhh, no. YOU first! Have you even thought about that?”

“Actually...I have.”

“What? Really?”

“Yes. I definitely want children.”

“But you’ve been thinking of kids’ names?”

“Does that surprise you, Ms. Heywood?”

“Uhh, YE-AH!! You’re melting my heart right now, Sidney! So, let’s hear it. Are you really down to two names?"

“No. But I like the boy name. ‘Theo’.”

“Oooo, I LIKE that. Not Theodore. Just Theo?”

“Yes.”

“LOVE it!”

“And your girl?”

“Forerunner is 'Rose'.”

“Ohhh, that’s beautiful, Sidney. You are one surprise after another! You’re blowing me away right now!”

“How about you, Charlotte?”

“Well, I have grown above and beyond the names I liked as a young girl. I really want something unusual and memorable. The boy name I really like has stuck with me over the years—Ames. That name stays in first place.”

“As in Iowa?”

“Yes. Hey, Theo Ames isn’t half bad!?”

“I like that! Could it be that easy?”

“My favorite girl name is blown out of the water now. I liked Poppy or Pepper but with Parker?? No. Not happenin’. (They both laugh.) Narrowing down a girl name for me would be torture. I can’t believe we’re talking about this! This is nuts! I’ve dated you for HOW long? 9 days? (Charlotte shakes her head in disbelief.) That’s crazy! Whose life am I living, anyway?”

“You’ve had your names for years?”

“Yes. Uhhh, remember when you asked about the “unusual place” I’ve had sex? I can’t believe I’m discussing this but this is part of trying to remain vulnerable.” 

“Are you going to spill it? I told you I’d get it out of you!” (Sidney is doing his teasing giggle.)

“Aww, God. I don’t know...Sidney. This makes me uncomfortable. Shit.” (Charlotte runs her fingers through her hair and she looks out the window.)

“I’ll stop teasing. I know you. This is a leap for you! It’s okay. (Charlotte pauses and looks around.) Charlotte, you can tell me…”

“It was in my backyard pool.” (Charlotte smiles and blushes.) 

“Oh, wow! Now I’m jealous of the loser! REALLY jealous!” (Sidney chuckles. Charlotte does too!)

“That’s where I conceived my baby. There was no other sex happening otherwise. Believe me.”

“What? Charlotte! You were pregnant?” 

“Yes, but I miscarried. Well a bit MORE than miscarried, I should say.”

(Sidney reaches out for Charlotte’s hand.)

“I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine what women go through. What happened? If you care to share.”

“I had a tubal pregnancy. The fetus wasn’t viable. As horrid as that experience was, God knew what he was doing.”

“That’s surgery, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“Did everything turn out okay?” [Let’s see where she goes with this.]

“Yeah, it wasn’t meant to be. I was devastated. Steve barely acknowledged it and so the story goes. That was definitely a catalyst to the demise.” (Sidney and Charlotte smile at one another and stare at the road.)

[I’m not sure where to take this. I know the whole story but she is not sharing. Do I let her know her brother told me everything? It’s a matter of trust, I think.]

“For real. This is in the book. Do you have a secret you’ve never told someone?”

“No.”

“Yeah, me either.”

“Charlotte literally squirms in her seat. Time goes by and they drive on down the road. [I would have thought she trusted me more by now. But maybe there just hasn’t been enough time together? I don’t know. Too personal? Female stuff?]

“Sidney, you know how you wanted me to be truthful as WELL as vulnerable with you?”

“Yes. Of course.”

“I’m not being totally truthful with YOU and this topic makes me extremely vulnerable. You would be a first, outside of my family. I wasn’t exactly lying just now. I can’t lie. It eats me up. You’ll soon learn that. I did tell someone but I haven’t been totally honest with you.”

“Who have you told this to?”

“My brother, Scott. He spread it throughout the family, I’m sure. I’m guessing, anyway. He has never been one to keep a secret—just remember that! I didn’t really want to discuss it anyway. I didn’t want to have to explain things to everyone and I didn’t want pity. I realized it was for the best. My mom was sick. I just didn’t want to take focus off of her needs. She was quickly declining. I wish I could have had her through that time. Female health issues can be so heartbreaking. God, it was such a lonely time. There’s been MANY lonely times over this past decade. Let’s be honest. I did tell Robin and Sue but we never talk about it. They know it upsets me.”

“Do you want to share this with me? Only if you want to.”

“Well, this comes on the heels of our fun discussion about children so I really don’t want to kill that high. That was so fun, Sidney. Thank you.” (She reaches her hand out to him and he grabs it.)

Sidney just sits in silence and waits. He’s finding that’s best when Charlotte is still ‘processing’ things. Stand back and let her do her thing. She’ll talk to herself for minutes before she decides what she will do. That’s just her. That’s how she rides. It’s kind of fun to watch, actually. She is very thoughtful about her choices. [God, I love this girl!]

“Sidney, you need to be honest with me, okay?”

“Okay. About what?”

“I could have some potential issues getting pregnant. I just won’t know until we want to start our family. I am able to conceive it just may take longer.”

“Is that all?”

“Yes. I mean, technically speaking I lost one of two Fallopian tubes. That should not be an issue overall. I just feel like I need to share that with you. Does that bother you? Are you concerned about that?”

“Is that it? I mean, I’m okay if everything takes LONGER.” He throws Charlotte a glance and starts to giggle. Charlotte slaps at his arm and smiles.

“You brat! (Charlotte is giggling.) Yes. That’s everything.” 

Sidney sits and looks at her. [What do I say to this? How do I make her feel okay about everything? If all else fails, speak from the heart.]

“Charlotte...?”

”Yes?”

”You’re going to be a good Mom."

Charlotte looks at Sidney with tears in her eyes...”Thank you.”

___________________________

“We’re going to take a side trip to Ames. We’re going to try something. Something that I do sometimes to make the trip go faster. I’d like to hang out here until it gets dark. Which is only a little over an hour or so. We’ll take a quick look at the historic, restored downtown. And there’s a beautiful neighborhood adjacent of late 1800’s - 1910 homes. We’ll have dinner at one of my favorite places and then drive back in the dark. When you can’t see the land rolling by it makes it feel shorter. I’ve driven this road for so long that I have landmarks that time the miles back to Minneapolis. When it’s dark I drive right by them so it’s much better. I hate seeing the lake that means I still have 2 hours left--the church that means an hour and a half, etc.”

“Game? We’re literally half way home. 3 hours. Believe me. It doesn’t feel as bad going back this last stretch.”

“Okay. Sure. I trust you. You have more experience than I do.”

“Taking a break. Getting out of the car. That beats the confined feeling of non-stop driving. And these houses are worth it.” 

There are a set of railroad tracks that run through the old part of Ames. Sidney and Charlotte happen to have pulled up with the train running by.

“So, here we are. The infamous railroad tracks. They were in use when I was in college. I can’t tell you how many times I got stopped by the train and a cop was beside me or directly behind me! It was ridiculous! I think they were looking for my car. I swear. It was really distinctive. Dark green with a white rag top. So here I sit, ‘sometimes’ pretty buzzed and they’d keep looking over at me. Nerve wracking! I will say, I got out of every parking and speeding ticket and traffic stop. 

“And how would you do THAT Ms. Heywood?”

“This is what I wore regularly: I would tie a knot in my tshirt that sat just below my breasts and roll up the sleeves a bit. Then I often wore cut off denim blue jeans shorts if it was summer, or a denim mini skirt with a crop top. That’s back when I actually had abs. God, I miss those days! (Charlotte pauses to think and giggles aloud.) Other times of the year I would use my legs. Heels with bare legs in the summer, tights in the winter. (Sidney is smiling and nodding.) [I can totally see this.] Sorry. I digress. But you get it. Guys will be guys.” (Charlotte giggles some more.)

“Anyway, I had this AMAZING southern accent that I would pull out with my dumb blond routine and with my outfit, it worked every damn time! HIlarious! It still makes me laugh! Here’s the key...when you get stopped hop out of your car and walk back to their patrol car, like you don’t know any better. Like it’s the first time ever, that you’ve been stopped! It was CRAZY! The look on their faces when I would come to THEM...? Hilarious! I played every minute of it, including the southern bell flirt!”

“I am definitely picturing this. The Heywood actress doing her best character acting. Okay, how many tickets and stops did you get out of if I may ask, Ms. Heywood?”

“I don’t know. A dozen? At least. Now that’s over 4 years, mind you”!

Sidney starts laughing. “Oh, my God! A DOZEN? That would never happen to me! That’s unbelievable!”

“Of course not! Unless a female cop stopped you! A male cop would take one look at you, feel jealous and intimidated and probably increase your fine! Poor Sidney...too good looking for his own good. (Charlotte laughs.) You need to be on the mediocre team, like me!”

“Charlotte, stop that.”

“You’re a beautiful man, Sidney. I want to be able to say that. You’re going to have to get over it. (Charlotte giggles and reaches over to run her fingers through Sidney’s hair.) I’m not fishing for compliments. It’s just that sometimes I feel like I’m living a dream when I see you. I’m very blessed. I’m very proud to have you beside me.”

“Chaaarrlotte! Ugh! Please.”

“I’m always going to feel that way, Sidney. I’m lucky and I damn well know it.”

“Come here. Stop now.” Sidney puts his hand on Charlotte’s cheek and stares at her. Stares her right in the eye. 

“Which one of us is the most fortunate, I ask you? WE’ve been blessed. I’m reminded every day. Now, would you give me one of your infamous kisses? Please.” Charlotte begins to give him a passionate kiss. 

[I love this.]

[God, I LOVE this!]

Just then the caboose passes by. [Abrupt halt. Charlotte is switching interests. Shit. I hate ADHD.]

“Here we are. Isn’t it adorable? Can’t you just see the wagons and horses going down the dirt street? I LOVE it! Next time I’ll show you the town. It’s quaint, cute and delightful. I was so lucky to go to school here. I really want to live in a place with a college. I’d just love to visit their library or audit a class. ISU’s library is open to the public. OH! And it has a Grant Wood mural! Do you know who that is?”

“Yes. The Iowa farms artist. American Gothic.”

“Oh, my God! Where have you been all my life? You pull stuff like that and I just want to cry! I have looked for you for so long...I love you sooo much, Sidney!”

Charlotte reaches over and gives Sidney a sweet kiss on the cheek. “I’ll show it to you next time.”

“Next time?”

Charlotte glances at Sidney. “Oh, I don’t mean to presume you’ll come back to the US? I could come see you, Sidney. That was rather selfish of me to say that. I’m sorry.”

“Why don’t you park over there.”

Sidney takes her hands and says, “Look at me, Charlotte." (Charlotte shyly turns his way.)

“I’m talking too much aren’t I? I’m just so excited to share these things with you. I’ve never had anyone else interested in this stuff.”

“Charlotte?”

"Yes?”

“Can you take a breath?” Sidney starts to laugh.

Charlotte looks shocked, then ”Oh!” And then she starts to giggle. Sidney lifts his eyebrows and looks for her reaction. 

“There ya’ go…” Sidney says with a crooked grin.

“Oh, stop! You’re such a brat!” Charlotte slaps Sidney’s arm and starts laughing. Sidney feeds into that and pretty soon this is a full blown laugh attack. Charlotte starts crying laugh tears.

“Aaaaand she’s OFF!” [Now she’s trying to talk and can’t do it. There will be a few more attempts. She’ll say she can’t breathe. A little more hysterics and then she’ll come back to the world. There’s a little cycle she needs to go through. God, I love this girl! Hell, Iiii AM the lucky one!] 

“Okay. (Charlotte is wiping tears.) Let’s get out and walk a bit.“ 

[She’s still laughing. This is taking a while…?] 

“The historic homes are just around the corner.” Sidney just stands back and watches. He has found the more reserved HE is the more hysterical SHE gets. 

[Okay…She’s starting to almost talk. We’re getting to the next stage. God! I love this!!] (Charlotte takes Sidney’s arm and they start walking.) “This town was developed by a New Yorker with the last name of Ames but he never actually came here. He just wanted this spot for a depot and when he built it people came and settled around it.”

Charlotte feels Sidney looking down at her but she doesn’t dare make eye contact.

“Charlotte?” (Charlotte reluctantly looks up.)

“You done?”

“Ahhh! Nooooooo! Don’t do this to me!” (And Charlotte starts laughing all over again. She slaps Sidney’s arm.)

Just then a door opens from one of the offices they’ve passed.

“Hey. Didn’t I last see you on the Eiffel Tower?”

Charlotte turns around and looks at the guy and starts questioning…Eiffel Tower? Paris? Brother? And then she remembers and she walks back toward him and then sees the familiar face. “Craig?” She walks quickly the last few steps and throws her arms around him.

“Charlotte.” 

“Oh, my God! This is wild!” 

[Don't tell me. Does she have one in every port? How many is this now? This is NUTS! This is compleeetely nuts! Yes but, Iiiii have her! THAT much is true. Back slap!]

“What? Am I going to run into you every 5 years or so? This is crazy!”

“Maybe!?” (Sidney is walking back to them.) “How are you?”

“I’m good. And you?”

“ Excellent! Business is great! I just bought and renovated that old hotel over there, across the street. Made it into 10 apartments.”

“Craig! Good for you! You always talked about doing that! This must be your office? ‘Martin Associates. Craig Martin, CFP'. I’m proud of you, Craig. Well done.”

“Thank you.” (He smiles a knowing smile to Charlotte.)

“And the family? Beth? The boys?”

“Well, we have a little girl now. A tag-along--years behind her brothers but I’m enjoying the challenge.”

“I’m 8 and 9 years behind my brothers. It all works.”

”Yes, I remember that now.”

”How wonderful! Girls and their daddy? That’s a precious bond. Enjoy her!” (Charlotte smiles.)

By this time Sidney is standing beside Charlotte. 

“Sidney this is my friend from ISU, Craig Martin. Craig this is my friend, Sidney Parker.” Sidney shakes his hand and says, “Good to meet you, Craig.” 

With the British accent Craig takes a second look. “Uhhh, Charlotte did something happen with Steve? I mean, obviously you have a new friend, Sidney. I don’t mean it that way. Wow. I just managed to make that really awkward, didn’t I? Sorry!” 

Everyone casually laughs. “No. You’re all good. Steve and I divorced about 5 years ago. Just a couple years after I saw you in Paris.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Thank you. Stuff happens. Hey, what a wild ride! Running into you and Beth on the Eiffel Tower of all places! That was crazy, wasn’t it?! What are the chances, huh?”

(Craig and Charlotte laugh.) “Well, I wasn’t sure if that was you when you walked by but then I heard the laugh. There’s no one who laughs like you, Charlotte. It was so great to hear that again." 

“You’ll love that about her too, Sidney. Crazy girl. She can keep her own self laughing!” (Craig and Charlotte look at each other and share a memory. They have smiles meant for no one else on their faces.)

“Yes. I’ve already had several laugh attacks with Charlotte.”

“Like just now. Right?” (Craig winks at Charlotte.)

“Yes! As a matter of fact!”

“Are you still in Minneapolis?”

“Yes. 10 years now.”

“You moved up there right after college, right? I could hardly believe it when I heard. You HATE winter!”

“Yes. Still do! (Charlotte laughs.) I followed Steve and we married right after graduation."

“Mmmm. Well, you look good! Happy!”

“That’s sweet of you to say. I’m looking at you and I see you as you were at the TKE house. You could be standing on the porch right now!!”

“That’s too kind. Yeah...wish we would have gotten you as a little sister. Those damn Betas!”  
(Craig and Charlotte laugh and share expressions of recall.)

“Thank you so much for stopping me, Craig. What a treat! Let’s do this again in 5 years, okay?”

“Of course, I look forward to that.”

“Tell Beth, hello!”

“Will do.”

(Craig reaches out his hand to Sidney and shakes it.) “Sidney. Good to meet you. I’m going out on a limb here and assume you two are a couple?”

“Yes. Yes we are.” [Not a "couple", couple, but at this point what guy would ever believe that? Just smile, Sidney. Join the conversation.]

“Enjoy her. She’s so damn funny and laughs like no other.”

“Thank you. I will.” Sidney throws a smile to Charlotte.

“You’re such a sweetheart,” Charlotte says. “Thank you for saying that.”

“Take care of yourself.”

“Always.”

“That’s true! You got it all done somehow! I never liked Steve, by the way. He took you away.”

“Nope. The first Beth took YOU away! The DZ.” (Charlotte smiles a sweet grin to Craig.)

Craig gives a hug and whispers in Charlotte’s ear, “I hope you find happiness this time. Marry him. He obviously adores you.” Then he gives an extra squeeze. 

“Stop that. You’ll make me cry.”

“Oh, yeah, she will cry like no other, too, I’m sure I’m telling you nothing new. She lays it all out there. Plays no games. Very sincere. Pulls at the old heartstrings sometimes, I’m tellin’ ya’! I’m sure you’ve seen THAT, too!” 

“Just a few times.” Sidney smiles and nods to Craig.

"Special one, " Craig says to Sidney and points a finger to Charlotte.

"Yes. She is." Sidney smiles at Charlotte.

“You’re going to embarrass me now, BOTH of you!”

“Five years then?”

“Five years.” Charlotte reaches out for a hug and there’s a squeeze exchanged at the end. They stare at each other for a moment and Charlotte and Sidney start walking. Charlotte turns and waves back to Craig.

He waves and puts his hands on his hips...like a Dad.

[That’s obviously another boyfriend. I should be getting used to this by now.] “I’m...doing better with all this I would say. Right?" 

"Better? Yes. I believe so." 

[How many are there, I wonder? I think Jason could be right.]

“How did you get another boyfriend at ISU, Charlotte? I thought you dated Steve straight through?”

“Well, Steve dropped out one semester, off ‘to fiiiind himself and backpack in Montana’! He made it as far as Des Moines. Craig was there. Perfect timing. He was breaking up with a sorority sister in the foyer of my sorority house; I excused myself to pass by them and go out the door. We made eye contact and he asked me out that next day. We had a wonderful semester together. He was just what I needed at the time. Very sweet. Sooo sweet! Reminded me of a Red Oak boy I knew. TOTAL gentleman. Smart. Conscientious and kind. He appreciated the arts; we attended a couple of musicals, a concert (Bruce Springsteen) and we went to Marcel Marceau. Amazing! So fun to be with. And...he LIKED me! The way I was! What a concept?!”

“Are you familiar with Marcel Marceau?”

“The mime. French.”

Charlotte stops, turns and stands in front of Sidney...“Seriously!? Where have you been and why couldn’t I have met you FIRST?” (Charlotte sighs and reaches up to give Sidney a quick kiss. Sidney wants a greater connection so he wraps Charlotte in his arms, places a hand on her cheek and kisses her passionately.

“Mmmmm, thank you for that.” Charlotte smiles sweetly into Sidney’s eyes.

[I love this man sooo much! God, please don't take this away from me.]

“I wish you would have met ME first, too!”


	25. "The Final 3 Hours"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney and Charlotte are on their way back home to Minneapolis. After this trip things have turned a corner for their relationship. Lots of pledges of love on this trip! How does that play out once they're back in Minneapolis?

“So what did you think, Sidney? Hickory Park. Barbecue and ice cream. Does it get any better than that?”

“Incredible. No wonder it’s so crowded.”

“That was a big treat in college if you happened to save up a few bucks. LOVE it!”

“Sidney, 3 more questions and we’ve finished the book. Are you game?”

“Yes. We might as well do it. I’m somehow feeling like I have to finish it.”

Okay. Here we go. Oh, there’s 4 questions, actually. There’s one on the last page. You do the honors, of course.”

“Who is the most influential person in your life?”

“Okay, I gotta name two. My mum and dad. Without their guidance growing up I don’t know where I would be. I could have easily gone down a wrong path.”

“Jesus - I have so much yet to learn.”

“How do you relax?”

“Ohhh, well...for one thing there are different levels of relaxation. Say, ‘small, medium, large’, okay? Small is reading the paper. No one ever does that anymore. I love it! Medium would be reading a book. Full body massage. Bike riding.”

“What was that? Sidney!”

“I was just seeing if you were paying attention! Would you care to join me?”

“Sidney Parker! The visual of that…? Dear God! Shut. up. ! Good thing it’s dark in here!”

Sidney is getting a good laugh out of this. “Your face! Priceless!”

“Large needs to trade places with that massage now that I think about it. The new medium is swimming.”

“Small - searching for things on my phone or ipad. Stalking people on Facebook. Medium - reading, watching tv. I will admit I have an addiction to medical shows. Large - I WAS going to say massage. Forget THAT! A facial.”

“What could you write a book about?”

“Real estate development. Ho-hum”

“Divorce 101: How to survive. Money, counselors, support groups, how to make 7 meals out of an egg, etc.There would be a whole chapter about how to rob Peter to pay Paul.”

“Wow! I can actually see you doing that. You are a woman of many talents, Ms. Heywood. I’m secretly impressed.”

“Why, thank you.” 

“Last one: Who do you miss?”

“ The ‘old’ me.” Charlotte whispers subconsciously and looks out the window. [I DO miss how my life was back then. I was HAPPY and I had lots of energy and my mind worked. Now, with the medicine I have to take to curb hypomanic episodes, I feel numb. I can fall asleep sitting up. My brain feels like it’s in a fog. If I ever talked about this with Sidney could he even begin to understand? Two words: This sucks. Three words: FML, with a palm side face plant. Ex-CEPT for Sidney.]

“I miss my Gran Parker. All class.”

”Of course, my mom.”

“DONE!”

“Sidney, thanks for being such a good sport about that. I feel I got to know you a lot better by doing that. How about you?”

“There were things I’ve never even thought about. It was a challenge. In a good way.”

“Okay...now I’m going to throw out some words and you need to answer with the first thing that jumps into your mind. No editing. Got it?”

“Vacation?”

“You.”

“Green?”

“You. Green eyes!”

“Ireland?”

“You.”

[What is he up to? I this true or is he teasing me?] Charlotte sends a questioning look that he can barely see with dashboard lights.

”You told me you studied there one summer while you were in highschool.”

“Mazda?”

“You. You’d hate that car.”

“Charlotte starts laughing. You’re crazy. It’s all about me?”

“You said to say the first thing that entered your mind! It’s YOU! A LOT lately!” (Sidney smiles.)

“Let me try it.”

“House?”

“Tudor.”

“Car?”

“Toyota.”

“Childhood?”.

“TomBoy.”

“Female?”

“Capable.”

“Love?”

Charlotte takes a big breath and gradually exhales in disbelief, “You.”

“Commitment?” [I want to know. ‘Commitment’, Charlotte. Will you make a commitment to me? To US!?]

“You.” [Okay. Wow. She said it. I’m going to hold on to that, Charlotte Heywood. You better not run away on me.]

“Treasure?”

“Me.” Charlotte starts to giggle

“Oh, good one. You’re a treasure huh?”

“I think so. My opinion is all that matters.” (Charlotte sticks her nose in the air.) 

“Well, if you’re a treasure, what does that make me?”

Charlotte looks at Sidney in the dim light and notes how much she really does love this man, “Too good to be true. I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

“Interesting. I would say the same about YOU!”

“Sidney, are we one of those couples who lose the world around them and obsess over their partner?”

“Yes. We are verging on that summit.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“I’m obsessed with you.”

(Sidney laughs.) “I’m obsessed with you too.”

“Good! Charlotte says with a smile and then stares at him. Stares at his beautiful profile but mostly the smile on his face. [I think he truly means that! Oh, God! Whose life am I living here? Please, God! Please don’t take this away.) Miles pass in silence.

“We’re almost an hour into this drive. Only 2 hours left. Does it feel better Sidney?”

“Absolutely! Good answer, Charlotte.”

“ Soooo, this last stretch of the trip I’m usually bored out of my mind and start calling my friends. Who can we call? 

“ Not England.”

“Should we call my brother?”

“You said don’t talk to him past 7:00 pm”

“True. Robin! She’s an hour behind us this time of year. She’s under “R” not her last name.”

“Mobile or home?”

“Mobile?” (Sidney puts the phone on speaker phone.)

“Hellllloooo?”

“Hey! What are you doin’?” 

“Laundry. Carter’s 2 boys are in baseball. If you don’t wash their uniforms right away it’s a nightmare to get the odor out.

“Well, I’m glad you called ‘cause I think that Sidney is an amazing match for you! He sounds like that dreamboat list you made? Still can’t believe you did that. I wanted to tell you how ideal he is for you. And you better not screw it up! Don’t be all prudish, now. You’re 32 years old, girlie and I know you, Charlotte. Please give him a chance. Will you promise me that?”

“Uhhh. Uhhh.” (Charlotte can’t get her to stop. She’s on a rant. Sidney is loving this!)

“And he ADORES you! He can’t stop smiling around you. Watches ever reaction you have. Wouldn’t we all love that kind of love and attention? And he ain’t bad to look at either!"

“Thank you, Robin!”

“Char! Where are you?”

“We’re driving back to Minneapolis. I got bored”. (Charlotte giggles.)

“Did I say anything bad just now? I didn’t did I?”

“Listen, you make one more comment about my sex life and I will be hanging up.”

“Well...Char. Someone needs to say it! Who better than me? You know I love you and I mean only the best. Okay?”

“Oh! Stop! Something embarrassing is about to come out of your mouth! Please stop! I KNOW you. I know where this is heading...ROBIN! STOP!

“Don’t be scared.”

“Bye!”

“Here, Sidney. Can you hang this up?”

“No! No! Wait, Sidney! Please don’t hang up on me.”

“Hang up on her.”

“Sidney! Please give me a little more time!”

[I’m torn here. Charlotte is saying hang up and I want to hear what she has to say.]

Can I talk to her, Charlotte? I want to take it off of speaker phone. Is that okay?

“I swear to God. I’ll kill her if she shares my confidences. Are you willing to tell me if she is crossing the boundary?”

“Yes. Of course.”

“Okay...Robin? I’m speaking to you now. We’re off speaker phone.”

“Yes but you can’t really talk. I’ll try to do this one-sided…”

“Sidney, the girl is scared out of her bat-shit crazy mind!!”

“Sidney laughs.”

“What did she say?”

Sidney puts his hand up to Charlotte.

“She hasn’t known you very long. How long have you been dating? 8-9 days. Something like that, right? Plus, 2 months working together. Right?

“Yes.”

“I don’t know really how to ease her fear other than, just keep doing what you are doing! It’s working. She loves you...A LOT. That marriage with Steve sucked pretty much by the second year. And I wish she would have confided in me. Could have saved her a lot of heartache. He’s an a**.

“Listen, she’s a sweet, innocent, lovely soul. I know no one who is like her. She’s always been special. Even as kids. Be patient with her. She’s definitely worth it.

“Do you love her Sidney?”

“Very much.”

“Will you take care of her and protect her? Make her feel loved and valued?”

“Yes. Of course.”

“Then wrap your arms around her and comfort her. I think that’s what she needs most. To feel protected and loved. Safe! There were too many years where she literally had to fear for her well-being. She’s yours for the taking if you’re ready, Sidney. I’m sure of it. I’ve not seen her this happy in a long, long while.”

“What is she saying? I don’t see you doing much talking.”

“She’s been sharing with me.” 

“I’ll let you go, Sidney. She’ll start getting really paranoid in a minute. Hey, keep in touch with me. Copy down my number. I’ll help you two whatever way I can.”

“Thank you, Robin.”

“Good bye.”

“You’re still IN TROUBLE!” Charlotte yells before Sidney hangs up. Sidney smiles. [These two are like sisters, I swear.]

“She’s my sister. We do this sometimes. Little wench!”

“Sidney, can I ask that you drive the rest of the way? I’m not feeling so well.”

“Sure, what’s going on?”

“I think I’m at the start of a migraine headache which would totally suck. I just want to see if I can head it off. Of course I didn’t bring my medicine because I never get headaches anymore. Ugh! (Charlotte starts holding her hand over one eye.) Quite literally, it is straight ahead until you reach the edge of the cities.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No problem. You relax.“ 

“It’s about 45 minutes or so. I think I may have laughed too hard tonight. Shook something loose!  Is it going faster this time?”

“Yes! Soooo much better! Thank you, Charlotte.”

About 30 minutes later the headache has spread across her entire forehead. Charlotte sits holding both hands on her forehead and is moaning slightly.

“Are you okay?”

“I just need to get home. I don’t want to throw up out here on the road.

“I need a dark room, my medicine and I’ll probably throw up. This sucks because I’ve not gotten one in the longest time. Lucky you! You get to see Charlotte sick.” 

“You’ll let me know what to do, right? How to help you?”

“It just needs to run its course. Ugh! This sucks so bad.” (Charlotte is not able to look up so Sidney is navigating.)

“We’re at the edge of the city.”

"Take 35E St Paul exit. We’re going in the back way. It’s a little bit shorter. Take the zoo exit and go north on 77. This will take us past the mall. Just keep going past the mall into the city. You’ll see Lake Nokomis on your right. Do you recognize where you are?”

“Yes. Turn left onto the Parkway, 2nd light. You see it?”

“Yes.”

”The avenues number down. Then turn right onto my street.” I’m so sorry Sidney. This isn’t the way things were supposed to go.”

“Oh, c’mon. Don’t think about me. Think about getting better. What can I do for you?”

“If you’ll bring things in from the car and play with Weasley I need to get my medicine. Please call Scott and let him know we’re home. Typically I handle this myself so I don’t want you to worry. It’s usually vomiting, medicine a dark, cool room and some sleep and then I’m coming back to the world. [I’m hoping I don’t throw up.] You don’t have to do anything.”

“I’m sorry this is happening. I’ll just stay close for a while. How is that?”

“Sure. That’s good. I need to go change so I can cool off and hang out by the stool. Getting hot is a pre-vomiting symptom if you care to learn these things about me. Lucky you! You get to witness Charlotte being sick. I’ll call you on your phone, alright? When I’m doing better.”

About an hour and a half later Charlotte makes the call. “If you’d like to come say goodnight I would love that.” There’s hardly any light. There’s a night light in the hallway but there’s very little light where Charlotte is resting. From the hallway it opens into the large bedroom. [I’ve only been up here once. It’s a gorgeous room. I wouldn’t mind staying…?]

“Heeeey, how are you feeling?”

“Better but not great. The medicine is starting to work—it makes me sleepy. It just takes some time to pull it back together.”

“Your brother has a message for you.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. He says ‘buck up sissy’.” (Sidney giggles)

“Oh. Yeah. Thanks for that, Scott. Dork.”

“Do you mind if I sit beside you here on the bed?”

“No. I would like that, actually.”

Sidney starts to rub her legs. “I’m sorry can you not do that? I appreciate it but when I’m sick I don’t like to be touched. Weird, I know. No offense.”

“Oh, sure. Sorry. I didn’t mean to...upset things."

“Stop. It’s not you. It’s me. I’ve been this way since I was a kid. Counter intuitive, I know. You had no way of knowing. I love you.” Charlotte reaches out her hand. Sidney immediately grabs it.”Now, my HAND you can touch! Strange, I know. I also have to be cool. That’s why I cracked the window.”

“Charlotte. It’s December in Minnesota. Isn’t that extreme?”

“It’s much warmer than mid January, Sidney. (She giggles.) Really. We’re talking sub zero temps. Like 25 below.”

“Below?”

“Below zero. I’m not sure what that is in metric. I’d have to look it up...I can do it quickly here.” [My God. She can’t shut it down.] O’ Celsius is 32’F so, negative…?"

"I can do it, Charlotte. You are to be resting.” [Such a busy mind. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?]

“Oh, God. No wonder your brothers talked about you hating winter!”

Sidney’s eyes have adjusted to the dark now and he sees Charlotte. [I’m definitely staring right now but I can’t help it.] Charlotte is in a satin nightgown with spaghetti straps. Sidney has never seen her in something so revealing and...sexy. 

[I mean. Let’s get real. Bare shoulders, silky nightgown with some slight gapping around the breasts; her nipples are hardened by the cold. Jeee-sus CHRIST?!! That’s something you just can’t “un-see”. At some other time I intend to hold her with love and care and make her mine. This is just another time confirming, being with her is so right. Oh, my God. This is literally killing me. UUUUUGH!]

“Charlotte, my God, you are so beautiful.” (Sidney is running his fingers through his hair and nervously stroking his beard.)

“Oh, uhhh thank you, I’m not feeling so attractive right now.” (Charlotte tugs at the top of her nightgown to cover herself more fully.) “Actually these are the coolest pajamas I own. Well, it's nightgown, actually.” 

“I’ll second that.”

“Uufffff. Leave it to you, Sidney. I just need to stay cool right now. I appreciate your compliment. Maybe we can revisit this some other time?”

“Most definitely!" [Oh, God, Charlotte. Please. I hope you mean that! I have never wanted anything more. And Sidney, YOU have to look elsewhere, my man!]

"Is there something I can do to make you feel better?”

“Actually, I’m one of those sensory overload people. If you could just lay beside me until I fall asleep I would really appreciate it. Don’t touch me. Just lay beside me. Would that be okay?” 

“Sure.” [Don’t touch her? Is she for real? Why did I say yes?]

“Just hold my hand? Is that okay? And a quick kiss? Can you lean down here?”

“Sure.” [Oh, thank God. Believe it or not, that helps.]

It doesn’t take long until Charlotte has drifted off to sleep. [I guessed her as a snorer. I’m still trying to find something “wrong” with her. ( I’m not!) She’s a heavy breather. The snorer is at the bottom of the bed. Dang, Weasley you are so LOUD! That cat could be a human for as loud as he is! I’m going to hang out a little longer to be with her. I can hardly believe what I’m seeing. Her rounded shoulders, the muscles in her arms and her smooth soft skin all barely visible in the darkened room but incredibly beautiful. The outline of her breasts under the sheet is…..well...yeah. I think maybe, yeah...I definitely need to pull this sheet up some.] 

Next thing Sidney knows is he’s been asleep for hours beside Charlotte—still holding her hand. He gets up to leave and she subconsciously pulls Sidney’s hand and arm around her waist and she rolls over on her side. Sidney, not wanting to wake her rolls over into a spoon position but does not touch her. [This is the weirdest night I’ve ever spent with a woman. But, it’s Charlotte. I’ll do whatever it takes to be near her.]

In the morning Charlotte wakes first. She’s surprised to see she still holds Sidney’s hand. In rolling over she sees him sleeping right beside her in his clothes on top of the covers—like a guard dog. [I love this man sooo much. How did I ever get so lucky?]

Charlotte snuggles close and gives him a light kiss. “Happy Christmas Eve day, Sidney!” Sidney pulls Charlotte in close in his half sleep state. “Thank you.” Charlotte lays close to him and whispers, “Good Morning, Mr. Parker. Is this the first time you’ve slept fully clothed on top of the covers with a woman?”

(With eyes closed.) “How do you Americans say it? I plead the 5th as I might incriminate myself.”

“Ohhhh, well I can read that two ways, sir! Are you sure you want to be so vague?”

(Eyes still closed.) “In relation to your impression of me? Yes. I plead the 5th.”

Charlotte laughs and says, “Okay, playboy. So be it. I’m rising and shining. Do you want to sleep more?”

“Just a little longer.”

“Call me. Let me know when and I’ll bring you breakfast in bed. Should I surprise you or do you have something in mind?”

“Really?” (One eye open.)

“Yes, Because I love you and I appreciate your kindness. Thank you for holding my hand all night. That couldn't have been very fun sleeping in your clothes and everything." 

"Actually, I needed my clothes. It is fucking FREEZING in here! (He smiles that little s**t grin.) Ahhh, but it’s myyyy pleasure, Ms Heywood.” Charlotte gives him a peck of a kiss. [Please don’t come too close. I’ll be able to see down your nightgown. Yes, I’m a gentleman, but…] Sidney shares the kiss but pulls back. 

“Well, thank you, Sidney. You know what? Today is a fun day! I can’t wait!” Charlotte gets up and throws a matching robe on top of her knee-length nightgown. (Now both eyes are wide open!) He has a clear view of Grandma GG’s legs! That’s as much Sidney has ever ‘seen’ of Charlotte. [Do I want more? Yes, please.]

An hour later Charlotte sneaks upstairs to see if Sidney is sleeping or rousing for breakfast. He has since stripped down and gotten under the covers. Charlotte ends up gasping when she sees Sidney’s bare chest. [Oh, my God! That is beautiful! He’s got a gorgeous body. Makes me want to cry! I look forward to being with him. Can you finally admit that to yourself, Charlotte? Yes. But that scares me to death! I don’t have the same body I had 10 years ago. HE obviously does! Shit. I need to think this through. Just leave, Charlotte. You’re not helping yourself with all this second-guessing.]

Charlotte crosses over to his clothes and picks up the tshirt. [He’s going to have to put this back on if we’re going to have any type of coherent conversation. That’s just the way it’s going to have to be. Oh, Lordy.] Charlotte returns downstairs waiting a while longer before fixing breakfast.

[Okay, Charlotte...so what does this mean when you have a guy sleeping in your bed? Sidney. The guy you didn’t want to come with you to the US. The guy you said you didn’t want a relationship with yet, here you are. He’s sleeping in your bed! Here you are, in love with a guy you actually barely know. What’s WRONG with this picture? What’s WRONG with YOU? You know better than this, Charlotte. You better guard your heart.]

Just then Charlotte hears the toilet flush upstairs. She yells up the staircase, “Is it okay if I come up?”

“Yes, of course.”

“See that tshirt beside you on the bed?”

“Yes.”

“Please put it on.”

“Okaaaaay????”

Charlotte heads upstairs and crawls across the bed to lay beside Sidney `“Have I told you I love you yet today?”

“No. But I would love to start my day that way.”

“Sidney, I love you. Thank you for all you do for me. For driving home, taking care of Weasley, bringing in the luggage, trying to comfort me, holding my hand all night and for being here, in my bed, so I can wake up next to you. (Semi-consciously and out loud.) I can’t believe I just said that?!” 

“What’s the issue? Me being in your bed?”

It’s not who I am, Sidney. C’mon. I’m not accustomed to waking up with a man in my bed! It’s only been one man at that--in my entire life! 

[True. I’m beginning to see the point. The prude must be freaking out, I would think. A man of any kind in her bed? ‘Scary!’ she would say. Look at her. She’s so sincerely trying to explain herself. You don’t have to do that, Charlotte. I don’t care. I’m going to make you mine. Soon. And I can’t wait to share a bed with you. It will be amazing. Join in the conversation now, Sidney. Nod and smile...]

“It kinda blows my mind, you know? Please be patient while I work through these things—like you have been. I really, really appreciate your patience. I love you all the more for being here this morning because it felt good to roll over and have you there. Next to me. It felt natural. Like, ‘normal’? That makes it feel more real.”

“It?”

“Us.”

“Come here. (Sidney pulls Charlotte closer.) Thank you. I’ve been hoping to hear that from you one day, Charlotte. I hope you know how much I love you.” (Sidney kisses her and pulls Charlotte down to lay her head on his [amazing] chest.)

[Pinch me. Is this really happening?]


	26. "Christmas Eve"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte loves Christmas and is anxious to share her traditions with Sidney. There's a bond developing between these two--loving, trusting and respectful. And Sidney? Voted "Boyfriend Of The Year"!

Charlotte is making chili and prepping for the night. Per usual she’s playing Christmas music and singing along. Sidney is loving hearing her voice. There are so many things he is loving about her.

He can easily hear her as he’s in the office, adjacent to the stereo in the dining room. Charlotte is singing in the adjoining kitchen. He’s wandering off in thoughts as he hears this latest song repeated and a little louder. Sidney can’t make out the words just that she’s singing more.

When the song gets repeated a third time he knows he’s got to go check it out. Sidney stands behind the wall as Charlotte is singing. [I love her voice. I’m going to miss that.] It’s a beautiful, lyrical song that she obviously loves. He sees her standing over the stove, stirring and singing. She can’t get through it without tearing up. When it’s over, Sidney steps back and shakes the doorknob and Charlotte looks up.

“Heeey.”

“Heeyy.” (She wipes her cheeks)

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I just really love that song. It’s so perfect. It’s Christmas—as it should be! It’s what this is all about, ya’ know. It’s very humbling for me.”

“Did you hear the song?”

“No. Not really.”

“I’ll play it for you later. Oh, my God. That line about 'when you kiss your little baby you kiss the face of God'...?. Woo! That gets me EVERY time. (She starts to well up.) Sorry. She cracks a smile. I’ve always felt that when I kiss a baby—any baby! Before I ever heard this song. Babies get me every time! So sweet and precious. Blessings in a bundle. Jesus is that blessing, for all of us. God incarnate.” (Charlotte is doing the hand fan at her face in order to try not and cry.) 

“Am I being too ‘churchy’? That’s what my dad says to me sometimes.”

“That sounds like your dad!” (Sidney laughs)

“Doesn’t it though?”

“It’s all good.”

Sidney just walks right over to her, turns off the burner and wraps his arms around her shoulders and pulls her in tight.

Charlotte gives in and cries. “That’s what Christmas is about. It just gets me. Sorry. Christmas just gets to me.”

Sidney says to her, “It’s okay. I understand. You know, this is what I love about you.”

“What? That I’m a bit of a Christmas snob, I think.“(She smiles at him and giggles.)

“We all got our thing.” Sidney laughs a bit. (THIS is where she lures me right in.)

Mary Did You Know?  
Written by: Mark Lowry  
Music by: Buddy Greene 

Mary did you know  
That your baby boy will  
One day walk on water?

Mary did you know  
That your baby boy  
will save our sons and daughters?

Did you know  
That your baby boy  
Has come to make you new?

This child that you delivered  
Will soon deliver you

Mary did you know  
That your baby boy will  
Give sight to a blind man?

Mary did you know  
That your baby boy  
Will calm a storm with his hand?

Did you know  
That your baby boy  
Has walked where angels trod?

And when you kiss your little baby  
You kiss the face of God?

The blind will see  
The deaf will hear  
And the dead will live again  
The lame will leap.  
The dumb will speak  
The praises of the Lamb

Oh, Mary did you know  
That your baby boy is  
Lord of all creation?

Mary did you know  
That your baby boy  
Will one day rule the nations?

Did you know  
That your baby boy  
Is heaven’s perfect Lamb?

This sleeping child you’re holding  
Is the Great I AM

Oh Mary did you know?

Performed by Kenny Rogers and Winona Judd

_________________________

On East Minnehaha Parkway, on 12th Avenue South, there’s a handmade stone bridge that crosses the Minnehaha Creek. The bridge has openings throughout its stone pattern. In those openings is where Charlotte places a glass globe with a votive candle on Christmas Eve.

“This is really beautiful. How long have you been doing this?”

“10 years. From the first year I bought the house.” 

“What made you think of this?“

“I was driving down the Parkway one summer night and I happened to notice one candle in the bridge and I thought, ‘wouldn’t that be beautiful at Christmas?’ It took me a while to do both sides, there’s 30 each side, but I’m really glad I did it. It’s 60 candles and I think they look AWESOME when you drive both directions.”

“So every Christmas Eve I know where I need and want to be. Even if it means missing Christmas with my family in Iowa—that’s how much this means to me. It’s just such a tradition for me and it means way more to me than just setting out candles. Other people love it and coming to the bridge is their tradition too. That’s the best thing of it all. People will stop me and thank me when I’m down here either setting it up or checking on the candles during the night. I’ll get notes sometimes or wishes placed underneath the candles. 

“But really, I do it as a gift to myself. The gift is the therapy of putting the candles in the holes themselves and seeing them all together. As I place them I say a little prayer about things like my family, my friends, my concerns about my life, my blessings. It’s my gift to me! It just really helps me. In the middle of the chaotic mess of Christmas I get to do some serious meditation and prayer.

“Of course I didn’t always do it by myself. I used to do it with Steve. I think it’s a bit of vindication being able to carry it on by myself without him.”

“Charlotte...it’s beautiful. It’s so ethereal.” 

“Yes, heavenly.”

“This will always be a beautiful memory for me.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty magical, isn’t it? I just want to put a caption under this setting that says ‘Silent Night, Holy Night’.”

They stand and pause. Look around. Then catch each other’s eyes and smile.

“Soooo, I have a surprise for you.” (Sidney takes a few keystrokes on his phone and puts it in his breast pocket…)

“So, Ms. Heywood may I have this dance?” “Dance With Me” by Orleans starts up and Sidney stretches out his hand to have Charlotte join him. Charlotte is so shocked that she stands there with her hands over her mouth squeeling, “OH, my God, I LOVE this song!!”

“I know! I remember that from the first night we were together here in the US! May I?”

“Oh, my God! Of course!“ (She takes Sidney’s hand and he pulls her in tight for the dance.) 

“Dance With Me”  
Performed by Orleans  
Written by John and Johanna Hall

Dance with me, I want to be your partner  
Can’t you see, the music is just starting  
Night is falling, and I am falling  
Dance with me

Fantasy, could never be so giving  
I feel free, I hope that you are willing  
Pick your feet, and kick your feet up  
Dance with me

Let it lift you off the go round  
Starry eyes, and love is all around us  
I can take you where you want to go, ohhh

Instrumental

(Repeat)

There’s an instrumental interlude where they do some twirls and at the end Sidney dips her.

(Lots of laughter.) Charlotte jumps into his arms and he holds her off the ground. She smothers him in kisses and says, “Thank you soooo much! That was great! How very sweet of you! Who knew??” (Charlotte teases.)

(Sidney pauses and looks down for several seconds trying to find the words. Charlotte puts her hands on his biceps and is just looking up at him.)

“What? What is it?”

He looks up slowly at her and says with a smile. “Charlotte I know you know the words to practically every song, right? Well, I want you to carefully LISTEN to this next song. This is all I’ve wanted to say to you for a long, long time. Basically, this says PLEASE guuuh stay with me, Charlotte.” (The next song is by Al Green titled “Let’s Stay Together”.) Sidney starts his phone and again tucks it in his breast pocket. With just the intro of the song Charlotte most DEFINITELY knows the first line and her eyes start to glaze over in tears. So when Sidney reaches out for her she buries her head on his shoulder and he wraps his arm around her waist and holds her hand next to his heart. She’s got tears running down her cheeks when she looks up at Sidney. He wipes the tears off of her cheeks and gently kisses her forehead. 

[That’s my girl! Hashtag in my column!]

“Let’s Stay Together”  
Performed and written by Al Green  
Music by Al Jackson Jr. and Willie Mitchell

Iiiii, I’m so in love with you  
Whatever you want to do is alright with me  
Cause you make me feel so brand new  
And I want to spend my life with you

Let’s say since baby, since we’ve been together  
Loving you forever is what I need  
Let me be the one you come running to  
I’ll never be untrue

Baby let’s, let’s stay together  
Loving you whether, whether  
Times are good or bad, happy or sad  
Why, somebody people break up  
And turn around and make up  
I just can’t deceive  
You’d never do that to me, would you baby?

Stayin’ around you is all I see  
Here’s what I want us to do  
Let’s, we oughta stay together  
Loving you whether, whether  
Times are good or bad, happy or sad

Come on, let’s stay together

[I’m a blubbering idiot right now. I bet I look terrible.] She can hardly believe what she’s hearing. He said on the plane he wanted to be the one I run to. How could he possibly find a song that says THAT?]

‘Let’s stay together...good or bad, happy or sad’. What does he mean by that?? Is he referencing my bipolar?"

“Charlotte there are so many emotions tied up in that song. I mainly want you to know and hear that I love you and I want us to stay together. I don’t exactly know how we do that yet, I just believe there’s a way we can make it work.

“I also know you well enough that you’re questioning the ‘happy or sad’ part of this song. [I know you, Charlotte Heywood. Please hear me now…] Charlotte, there is NOTHING that will diminish you in my eyes. You are the most authentically beautiful person I have come to know. You act and speak from your heart and that’s all I need to know, really. I’ve been looking for someone like you my entire life. The Bi-Polar just means we have to hold on tighter to each other when things act up.

“Understand, Charlotte, I don’t care about that. Bi-Polar doesn’t define who you are, it’s just one tiny part of you. It’s something I know we can make better, together.”`

“So, this is the time I can say ‘I love you, too?’”

“Well, YES! Of course! I had hoped you would, actually.” (Laughing)

“Oh, God...I’ve never wanted to do this again you know. A relationship? A commitment? Trusting someone? This scares the CRAP out of me! I’m just not GOOD at this, Sidney!”

“We’ll work on THAT together, too. I think you’ve protected yourself with those thoughts for a long, long time but now you’re going to have to give them up. You’re going to have to make yourself vulnerable again...to me.”

At that point Sidney has a big smile and puts his hand on her cheek and lifts her face to him and kisses her passionately with 60 candles glowing around them.

They pull away and tears really start to come. 

[God, I cry all the time. I wonder what he thinks of me. I’m so happy. This relationship is so different and I love him so much!]

Sidney looks at her with a sweet, understanding smile and pulls her into his chest and lets her cry.

_______________________________

“So, this is the tradition at my house as well. Pot of chili on the stove, things to make sandwiches and mulled hot cider. You can eat when you want and make whatever drink you want out of the cider. Or, there is vodka for you. At 10:30 pm we go to candlelight services at the church. We will get out shortly after midnight.”

“Oooookay! Sounds like a fun night.”

“Since it’s just the two of us I would challenge you to a game of chess? I’m going to assume the Brit knows how to play chess?”

“Uhhh, yes, I do. I will beat you. You may want to consider another game,” he says with vindication.

“There’s also another tradition in my house, well, my family. You get new pajamas on Christmas Eve! Here, open yours. Now, obviously, I don’t know what you wear to bed but I took a guess.”

(Sidney opens his present to find University Of Minnesota boxer briefs)

“ Ahhh! They don’t box ‘naked’, I see! He says with a cheeky grin.

“Whaaat?? Ohhh, no, no, no! I don’t need to hear this! (She plugs her ears and does the “la,la,la”) I’m 10 shades of red right now, aren’t I?”

Sidney heartily laughs, nods his head yes and says, “Well, thank you for my gift. That was very thoughtful. I shall wear them when I need to make a trip to the loo! Otherwise I wear nothing.”

“Ohhh, pleeease stop with that!” (She touches her cheeks to feel the heat.)

Truly flustered she says,”Okay...well, hmmm. What is in this box? It says ‘Charlotte’ on it. Hmmmm, wonder what this could be?”

“Open it! Maybe we have matching boxer briefs!?”

“T-SHIRT and boxer briefs, maybe?” Charlotte opens her present to reveal her annual gift to herself of flannel pajamas!

“Oh, hey! Now THOSE are sexy! What is that on there?”

“Sock monkeys! With wreaths...driving a car with Christmas lights on it and one of them is making a coconut pie!”

“Oh, of course! How sexy AND festive!!”

“I only sleep in the top.” Charlotte looks at Sidney’s response and starts laughing. (Sidney raises his eyebrows in inquiry, with a small smile on his face.). [Is she serious?]

“Of COURSE I wear the entire set of pajamas! I gotta make it through the Minnesota winter, don’t I?”

She looks at Sidney who looks as if he’s going to say something….”Do NOT say it!”

______________________________

“Okay, WHAT is he doing?”

Sidney is watching Weasley run through the kitchen with his ears down, tail tucked, hell bent for fury. He runs upstairs and then goes through kitchen down the steps to the basement. He’s making laps. The stairs are wood so he sounds like a small person as he hits the steps.

“This is hilarious! I love this cat!”

“He’s running off energy but once he stops racing around he’ll want to play hard with you.”

“What’s ‘play hard’?”

“I’ll show you at the time. It’s hilarious! He hides behind the doors and jumps out at you on his hind legs, like a bear. Then he gets on the dining room chairs and goes spastic trying to tag you through the spindles—too, too funny! Then he’ll jump on your calf when you’re walking away from him. He might jump out from under the armchair and pounce on your feet. You just never know but he is sooo funny! He does this once in a while.”

“Crazy, crazy cat but very, very endearing. Kinda like his owner.” Sidney comes from behind, lifts a section of Charlotte’s hair and sweetly kisses her neck. [Oh, dear God! I’ll give you five years to stop that! UHHH! I could very well lose control here!] Sidney steps closer in behind her and wraps his arms around Charlotte’s waist and whispers in her ear, “Yes, a very lovable kind of crazy.” 

“Thank you for making this visit special, Charlotte.” 

“You’re welcome!” She wraps her arms on top of his arms around her waist and leans back so she can fully feel Sidney’s body. “Probably the best Christmas I’ve had in hmmm, 15 years.” [Would it be too forward of me to ask him to do that again? OHMYGOD!]

_________________________________

The candlelight service is always special to Charlotte. There are great Christmas hymns, a sermon about the promise of Christ’s birth and a sharing of His light via candles among parishioners.

“I love this part. Look at the faces. Aren’t they angelic? And look. Everyone has a smile, at least during this candlelight part. I love it! I just hope they don’t go home and are lonely. That would be me, several Christmases in a row. I’m so glad you’re here with me, Sidney. She reaches her hand out to Sidney and he gives it a kiss and holds on to it.”

[Where did this guy come from? England! Oh, that’s right. He’s from a foreign country! Thousands and THOUSANDS of miles away, Charlotte! What were you thinking there? How is this ever going to work? Can I just enjoy this moment without all this worry? Its been a crazy year but I am so lucky. I am blessed.]

____________________________

Sidney hangs out in the kitchen like he wants to talk. Meanwhile Charlotte is fixing the cheese and egg dish for the next morning. 

“What is that you’re making?”

“It’s an egg casserole for breakfast so I don’t have to get up and fix something. We’ll have this, muffins and orange slices. I also haaave, kippers! For my British boyfriend Does that sound good?”

“Kippers? How special, Charlotte. You’re amazing, you know that? So thoughtful.It.all Sounds great! Uh, Charlotte…”

“Yes? What?”

“Well, I was thinking...uhhh…”

She turns to him. “What is it? Would you like anything before bed?”

“Come here…” (and he reaches out to her) 

He wraps his arms around her waist and tips her chin upwards so they see eye to eye. “Thank you for tonight. All of it. From the bridge to dinner to chess and church. It was just a perfect night. I’ll never forget this. Look...Charlotte...(Sidney does not flinch and looks straight into her eyes.) I want to make sure you understand something...I love you and I want to be with you.”

[I want to be with you, too. Aww, shit...this is terrifying!] She wraps her arms around his neck and leans in to him and shares several passionate kisses and their hands start to wander.

“Sidney, I don’t want to go too fast. We have been together, what? 10 days. We didn’t even touch each other until 5 days ago! That’s not very long for me.” (She struggles to make eye contact.) 

“God! Do people DO THAT Sidney!? It just doesn’t seem long enough. Do they?” (She giggles and looks at Sidney. He puts his hand in cough position over his mouth like, I’m not going to win this one either way I answer. He laughs quietly and looks down. No eye contact on his end either.

“Sidney...tell me!“ She looks up from underneath and makes eye contact. “So??” (NO response from Mr. Sidney.) Now she’s laughing at Sidney. [I’m going to manhandle his arms until he looks at me and answers me!] “ Don’t make me wrestle it out of you! Yes, of COURSE I know how to wrestle. I have brothers and I’m from Iowa*!” Sidney continues to check out...but smiles. 

“Look, here’s MY truth, this prude is so shy and awkward with this stuff. I really don’t know how to handle this. I’ve only been with one man.”

“WHAT?! WHOA! WOW!!” [THIS is what Robin was referring to. “She’s just too sweet and innocent. She’s telling the truth on all that.” [Not just a prude. She truly is not experienced.]

Meanwhile…”Answer me Sidney. Is that your expectation? I won’t judge you, I just want to know. I feel like I’m dealing with a 5 year old that got caught in the cookie jar!” (She giggles and he smiles.)

(She laughs and Sidney does too and makes eye contact.). “You need to tell me because I don’t know. I dated 15 years ago!”

“And don’t say ‘wow’. That makes me feel bad. Like I’m a weirdo or a freak. I know. I know it’s unusual that someone marries as a virgin but that’s just me. That’s who I am. Those are my morals. Those are my values and that’s the kind of person I fight to be. I was only 21 when I married.”

[OKAY...This DEFINITELY changes things. It all is starting to make sense. Charlotte!! This is like divorce. I would handle things differently if I knew. She would say, ”And when would be a good time to mention that?”]

“Remember when I told you back in Sanditon that you didn’t want to have a relationship with me? I said, ‘trust me, you don’t want to go there’. Remember? Back when I told you NOT to come..? Well, this is just one piece of what I’m saying. How do you feel now knowing THIS little piece of my psyche, Sidney? Disappointed?” 

“Disappointed? No! Charlotte, I’m not ever going to be disappointed in you. Now I understand. Now that you have confided in me I have a better understanding of…of...EVERYTHING! Things weren’t adding up. And I couldn’t make sense of it. Now they are. It’s like you not telling me you were divorced. Believe me, I would’ve conducted myself differently had I known. Please believe me on that.”/p>

“There’s just so many layers to peel back if you’re going to be with me, Sidney. I tried to warn you but instead you just showed up on the plane! Really, I’ll understand if you want to reconsider. I think you thought I was something else than what I really am.” 

“Come here (and he pulls Charlotte in to him holding tight around the waist) We’ll work through all this. Please stop being so self-depricating. Did you not hear the part in that song that said, 'I’m so in love with you'?" Sidney places Charlotte directly in front of him and stares her right in the eye, “Charlotte, I am SO in love with you. Let me love you, PLEASE and let that other stuff go.”

Charlotte puts her forehead on his chest and just starts to cry.

“Why are you crying Charlotte?”

“Because I’m frustrated. Because I cry all the time now that you’re around. What the hell is up with that?? It’s embarrassing! I just can’t seem to get a grip around you. Am I being ‘vulnerable’ enough for you, Sidney? These emotions and tears are all right at the surface. I’m still trying to deal with things from my divorce and how all that intertwines with my already crazy emotions. 

“You know, I feel like I dealt with all that at the time, 5 years ago, but when I try to move on to another relationship it all comes UP again! I feel like the divorce could have been last week or something! I’m a mess! I can cry just looking at you, Sidney! YOU are who I want to be with...so much so I cry. I want to and yet I can’t follow thru. I’m scared. Robin said that. She knows me—too well sometimes! Here you are, touching me. Holding me...I just love you sooo much but I’m completely paralyzed. Now, how f’d up is that? I’m bat shit crazy is what that is. [Yup, Robin said that, too. I think she had something there. Sidney chuckles.]

[Scott did say the same thing: “When that [marriage] all broke apart she was shattered. It really damaged her self-esteem and confidence.]

“Throw in Christmas songs and I’m a basket case.” They look at each other and exchange smiles and giggles.

“My self-worth. My self-confidence. It’s all tied up in that shit. I can’t believe you would want to walk into this. My life is so complex. It’s a mess! I don’t know if I want to let someone in to this! It could cause resentment between us. I’m sorry for all of this!” 

“So is mine! Are you kidding me? There really is no such thing as someone ‘having it all together’. There just isn’t and I don’t expect that of you. I kinda like that you’re not as perfect—takes the pressure off of me.” (Charlotte laughs.) 

“There’s an easy tease there but I’ll let it go.” (She laughs quietly.)

“THANK YOU! “ (He laughs.)

“Well, go to bed knowing I love you and you haven’t scared me off. You WON’T, Charlotte! I will never be the one running away.” Sidney kisses her deeply and passionately and looks her in the eyes. [Ugh! Charlotte, look at me. You’re the other half of my heart. I can’t wait to make you mine.]

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Charlotte reaches up and pushes Sidney’s hair back and looks him in the eye. “Sidney, I’m sorry about this. Please don’t give up on me, okay?”

“Never. Charlotte, there’s absolutely NOTHING to be sorry for and KNOW this...you’re NOT getting away from me ever again! This is not going to be a reason for you to run away. (A quick peck of a kiss.) Good night.” 

“Sidney, can you please answer the question…?”

“Doesn’t matter. We’re going to do what works for us. Love you!” (Sidney heads downstairs to the apartment.)

[God, I love that man.]

Charlotte yells down the stairs, “We better go to bed so Santa can come.” (He lets out a laugh about that.).

Charlotte heads out the door to check on the bridge candles. While there she spends time just looking around at the beautiful lights. Relighting some. She wonders about what to think of Sidney.

C> \- "He certainly seems sincere. 

C>> \- But I don’t want to get hurt again? 

C> \- What makes you think Sidney is going to hurt you? 

C>> \- Because all relationships start with starry-eyed love and then can divulge to hatred.

C> \- I don’t think I could live through that again. Especially since this feels like a more grown up relationship already. Screwing up a ‘grown up’ relationship means more. It’s a bigger failure in my mind. 

C> \- Certainly Sidney outscores Steve’s EQ (emotional quotient) in a big, big way.  
Blows him OUT of the water!

C>> \- But I never thought anything was that wrong with Steve, initially. 

C> \- Charlotte, you ignored some major, MAJOR red flags. 

This guy is 10 years older than Steve at the time and you are older as well.  
This IS a “grown up” relationship. 

C>> \- Yeah, well, see previous.

C> \- You know exactly what you want this time around. You’re not going to settle.  
Hasn’t he exceeded your expectations already? 

C>> \- That’s why I’m so scared. 

C> \- You can be scared but don’t let it paralyze you.

C> \- What is greater than loving someone and being loved back?" 

Charlotte heads upstairs to take a bath and relax for bed. She’s preoccupied about what to do about Sidney. He really is turning out to be too good to be true.

She puts on her “sexy” flannel pajamas and decides to sneak downstairs and crawl in bed with Sidney. This isn’t to have sex it’s to just be held and be together. They haven’t done anything like that yet! When she crawls into bed he jumps and is startled.

“Heeeey.”

“Heeyy. Is everything alright?”

“May I join you? I’m not looking for sex. Can I just be with you for now? Can you hold me?”

“Sure. Absolutely. Come here. (Sidney pulls her in to lay on his chest and kisses the top of her head. This is great! Charlotte, thank you. This feels amazing—like I knew it would. And those sock monkey pajamas...those are REAL sexy!”

Now the two are giggling in the dark.

“I’m glad to see you sleep in boxers. THAT could have been awkward!!!” (They laugh out loud.)


	27. "Christmas Gifts"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte and Sidney are growing stronger as a couple. They give very personal "gifts" to one another for Christmas. (Ho! Ho! Ho!)

Sidney wakes to the smell of something baking and the sound of opening and shutting cupboards.

“Good morning! Merry Christmas!” (Charlotte gives him a quick peck of a kiss.)

“Merry Christmas to you, too!” he says with a groggy smile.

“Would you like coffee? Or juice?”

“Coffee. Please.”

“The same as yesterday?”

“Yeah, that’s great. I didn’t realize you got up? When did you leave?”

“Oh, about 30 minutes ago. I needed to get this started.”

“Charlotte. When did you leave? (He asks again, patiently.) Last I knew we were spooning together in the middle of the night.”

“Okay….Sidney….a few hours ago, I just didn’t want to wake up with you and face this uncomfortable good morning greeting stuff. I just don’t know how to DO that! It makes me ungodly nervous.”

“You’re going to need to let those times happen, Charlotte. We have to learn to navigate them together, right?”

“Yes, but I didn’t want this sexual tension thing going on. Not on Christmas. Believe me, I would screw it up somehow. I’m awkward with intimacy anyway.” 

“That was no ‘awkward with intimacy’ kiss you gave in Sanditon. That felt very much like someone who knew what they were doing. What they wanted and how to express it.”

“Stop Sidney. (Charlotte flips hand stop motion from her eyebrows to Sidney.) You’re embarrassing me. I’m sure that’s your intention right?”

“Well, seriously, Charlotte. You KNOW what you did. How you kissed me. That was confidence. Right?”

“In only so much as I know how to kiss well. It doesn’t mean I’m actually confident. I took that too far. I’m afraid things got way ahead of me and I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry for that.”

“Don’t APOLOGIZE for God’s sake! It was amazing! It is what brought me here—to spend Christmas with you. It helped me fall in love with you, Charlotte. I don’t regret that. Are you telling me you do?” 

[It's another ADHD moment.] “Sidney, do you think this is going too fast. I wonder…”

“No. But I can tell YOU do. That’s the second time you’ve said something about it.”

“I don’t know, Sidney. I have this weird feeling, like I start, then I have to stop, then I slowly start again, then I can go full speed, then I need to stop with our relationship. Does that make sense? I just get scared. Overwhelmed.

[Perfect sense! I’ve even said that to myself.]

“I get scared, Sidney. I don’t want to fail. That’s what governs the speed I take.”

“Fail at what?”

“Fail at being a couple. Fail at our relationship. I’ve done that already. You haven’t. It sucks. There’s a stigma there, Sidney. And I would be heartbroken if I did something to screw ‘us’ up.”

“Come here.” (Sidney reaches out and pulls Charlotte in and gives her a long hug.) [I just want to hold you so badly. Feel your body up next to mine. Smell your perfume, touch your soft skin...I’ve waited so long for this.] (He holds Charlotte for a length of time before he lets go.) ”Now, from what I understand, and from my limited experience there are never one-sided issues in a relationship. I would be right there to blame as well.”

“I wish you wouldn’t talk of failure. Wait until you see something happening. No sense in creating a problem where there is none. And I understand being scared but I love you, Charlotte. I want to be with you. You don’t have anything to fear from me. I’m committed to making this work, Charlotte. What do I have to do to convince you?”

Charlotte stares at him. Looking intently at his eyes. [I can tell. He means that.]

“Can I convince you with MYYY kiss?”

“Ohhhh, I like how this sounds!”

“Let me show you…”

Sidney has this all worked out in his head. He starts with both hands around her face, drops one to pull her in tight at the waist and puts in some neck kissing before returning back for a sensuous kiss.

“Oh, my God!" [Talk about giving shivers!] Charlotte’s eyes are open wide and she has a huge smile on her face.

Sidney is standing there waiting for Charlotte’s review and he has a big smile on his face.

“I think I have a graduated student! (She starts laughing.) She holds her embrace with Sidney and leans back to see his face.” 

“Wow! O-KAY then! I will not create a problem before there is one. I will place my trust in us and our friendship. I will continue to count my blessings because I still can’t believe you’re here. Thank you for that AMAZING kiss. I love you, Sidney Michael. I swear, I’m going to start counting how many ‘I love you’s’ we have in a day. Absolutely warms my heart! So, #1.”

“Charlotte slips into snuggle position. Sidney wraps her up, kisses the side of her head and says, “Thank you. I love you too.” [This feels so amazing.]

“That’s #2.” Charlotte says in a muffled voice.  
_________________________________

“That was great, Charlotte. Thanks for doing all this cooking. I can do some cooking if you’ll let me. I have a few specialties from college days—when I had to do some of my own cooking. Not great but edible.”

“Okay, I’ll take you up on that. For dinner today we have a typical American Christmas dinner: ham, my Aunt Pam’s cheesy potatoes, green bean casserole, mixed fruit and dinner rolls. There are millions of houses across the nation that have the same menu. You are getting immersed in American culture for sure.”

“Well, I love it! I want to thank you for all you’re doing to make my visit special.”

“You’re welcome. I want to make sure you have the full American holiday experience. Is there anything you want to be sure to do while you’re here. Anything in Minneapolis?” 

“Well, I was going to talk to you about a few things I had read about. I hope we’ll get some significant snowfall. It would be fun to go sledding!?”

“Oooookay! There’s a sledding hill at the bottom of this hill on the Parkway. It’s pretty wicked, I actually do have a sled in the garage.! Anything else?" 

“I would be interested in getting to the “Christmas Carol” at the Guthrie. That may be impossible but you never know. Do they rush seats? MIA was sooo worth it. Thank you for taking me."

[OMG, he knows about “rushing”. He’s obviously done some theatre. This is too much!]

“Okay, c’mon Sidney. Have you been reading my journals or something?”

“You have journals? [Oh, wow. I’d LOVE to read those. Where are they?] No, why?”

“Because that’s EXACTLY what I would do if I were in the Twin Cities over the holidays. Sidney, how could you pick any more perfectly? What the HELL are you trying to do to me?? First old houses, then Grant Wood, then Marcel Marceau and now MIA and the Guthrie?”

“Ugh! (Charlotte fails back in the chair with a fainter’s hand to her forehead.) I can’t stand it!”

“You asked. That’s what I’d love to do before…”

“Before what?”

“I am going to have to go back at some point, Charlotte! Now who do I sound like, huh?”

“Sidney….Oh, God.”

“Charlotte, don’t go there. I can see your freak out face coming.”

“We are going to have to figure this out. I’m not leaving you. Please don’t start to worry already.” 

[So what did you THINK would happen Charlotte? That this little fairytale would continue on and on? Did you really think you wouldn’t have to say goodbye to him? YOU live in the United States. HE lives in England. THINK ABOUT IT, CHARLOTTE!]

After several minutes in thought Charlotte feigns a smile and comes back to the conversation.

“So, Sidney…..Santa did leave a couple gifts for you.”

“He did? Well how nice of the old chap? He also left some for you.”

“Wow, I must have been a good girl this year, huh? She giggles.”

“Here, you have two so open one of yours. Open this one.”

Charlotte takes his gift and opens it and starts laughing, “Oh, this is GREEAAT! Where did you find this?” 

“At that obscenely massive mall you have in this city. That is somewhat grotesque if I may say so. I do love those gigantic LEGO figurines, however. Those are pretty impressive!”

“This is hilarious! Thank you. I LOVE it!”

Sidney has given her a tshirt that says, “My brain is 80% song lyrics."

“Okay, well how fitting. This is for you." Sidney opens up to find a U of M tshirt. Traditional. Gray with Maroon print.

“Wow! We were thinking the same way.” 

“Yes. Except mine, after last night, takes on new meaning...I’m going to request that you WEAR yours to bed. (Sidney looks confused.) Sidney, your chest is so insane, I can’t hardly sleep beside you. I mean, seriously, you lay my head on your chest and I am a school girl all over again—I just can’t HANDLE it! It makes me nervous and self-conscious. I lay beside you and face you…? It’s massive and...beautiful. At the risk of making you very full of yourself, your body is gorgeous! (Subconscious out loud) And I am dumb enough to just have said that. Shit. What was I thinking?” 

F

“Well...I’m just being HONEST! You asked me to remain truthful and vulnerable with you and well….your body does me in. It makes me feel very vulnerable and insufficient. So...there you go!” 

“Soooo tshirt on, boxers off is what you’re saying?” (He starts laughing as Charlotte thinks that through.). 

“Ohhh, c’mon! I walked right into that didn’t I? Very funny! Good one!”

“I’m pretty sure there’s a pretty insane body under those flannel pajamas, too.” 

“Okay, okay. I can do that for you. [I’ll have it off in under 10 minutes. I get too hot for one thing.] And, WOW! I appreciate all the compliments. That’s very sweet of you—to let me know how you feel. Thank you.”

Sidney opens her gift to reveal a key chain. It’s shaped like the state of Minnesota with a heart on the location of Minneapolis.

“Turn it over.”

On the back it’s engraved and says:

6 hours.  
s & c

“6 hours. S & C. Oh, Charlotte. Leave it to you! I love it.”

“It’s just a little gift. I don’t even know you well enough to know what you like or need!? That’s kinda crazy now, isn’t it, Sidney?” I figured you could have me with you every day that way.

“Yes! When you look at it that way. (Sidney softly giggles and reflects for a moment.) Thank you, Charlotte. I love it.” 

“You’re most welcome.”

“I have one other thing.”

“Sidney hands her a perfectly wrapped box using her paper and ribbon that he would have had to search for. (So sweet!) Charlotte opens the box, sees what it is, closes the box, smiles sweetly and moves over to him and gives him a big kiss. I love you so much, Sidney. THANK YOU! I can’t believe you!? What are you doing to me, Parker? You are KILLING me right now! How can you possibly be so sweet?”

“Do you like it, Charlotte?”

“It’s PERFECT! I love them! And I love YOU, sooo much. Charlotte opens the box up again to reveal 3 sterling silver bangles like her mom used to wear. Sidney puts them on her wrist, she admires them and fully breaks down. That's #3 & #4." [So perfect. What the helllllll?]

“Come here. He reaches out and holds her. You know, you can cry all you want as long as you let me hold you each time.” 

Charlotte giggles. “I’m Miss Waterworks lately. Pretty much all the time, right? I’m so sorry, I don’t know what the hell’s wrong with me.”

“It’s okay. I get it.” 

“Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Charlotte.”

(He pulls her close and she lets go. She misses her mom.)

________________________________________________________

Sidney comes out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist and is using a hand towel to shake out and dry his hair. As he walks to the bedroom he sees through the French doors, Charlotte sitting on the edge of the bed. She has one leg bent in front of her and the other hanging over the edge.

“Heeey,” he says very softly to Charlotte and sweetly smiles at her.

“Heeyy,” she replies back. Charlotte is sitting there with just her PJ top on.

“You’re rockin’ it in those sexy pajamas,” he teasingly laughs. 

She rolls her eyes and throws him a glare—then smiles and nervously looks down. It’s hard to make eye contact for Charlotte. Sidney moves forward, takes her hand and kneels so he can see her face.

“Sidney, will you be with me tonight?” she asks. 

He gives her a sweet smile and in his low and soft (Batman) voice , Sidney replies, “I would like nothing more.” He stands and leans over her, puts her face in his hands and proceeds to give the most passionate kiss. (Even Charlotte is blown away.) He then starts kissing her neck and gently unbuttons her top. 

He lays her back and whispers, “Charlotte, you are sooo beautiful, I want you to know that.”

“Thank you,” Charlotte nervously responds.

“It’s going to be okay, Charlotte. It’s me.” 

“Yes.” (She nods.) 

Sidney whispers, ”I love you” as he strokes her hair.

”#5." (They both giggle.) 

Sidney stands to shut off the light. Charlotte reaches over and releases the towel on his waist so it falls to the floor. Sidney, rather surprised says, ”Well now, that’s not being a prude, is it?.” They laugh, embrace and pull each other in tight.

_______________________________

Charlotte rolls over and watches Sidney until he wakes up. He opens one eye and Charlotte whispers, “Good morning.”

He rolls over to face her, his arm under his head. He pushes her hair back and says, “I love you, Charlotte. I want you to know that...and FEEL that.” He stares her directly in her eyes. He wants to see her reaction. She gives him a loving kiss and says, “Thank you. I love you so much, Sidney. I need to be honest; this is a really scary step for me."

He grabs her in and holds her close. He gives her a kiss. “It’s going to be okay. We’re gonna figure this out together.”

“ What am I going to do when you leave?”

“We’ll make it work. Don’t worry. We have a week. Let's enjoy our time now.”

Charlotte glazes over in tears and Sidney pulls her in close. They end up falling asleep for a little longer in each other’s arms.


	28. "An Old Married Couple"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> December 26th - Charlotte and Sidney have taken that next step toward commitment. It's a regular, normal day post Christmas, and they're already feeling natural and comfortable with each other. Just like "an old married couple."

This could not be more perfect. Charlotte is snuggled in the arm chair and Sidney is laying on the couch reading. It’s snowing outside and there’s a fire in the fireplace.

“This couldn’t be more perfect except, where is Weasley??"

“I put him out a while ago."

“Maybe see if you can get him in.”

Sidney opens the front door, “Charlotte, he’s sitting out here in the middle of the front sidewalk like a statue, with the snow falling all over him. What’s that about?"

“Ohh, sometimes he does that. He doesn’t mind the snow. A neighbor and I think he’s part Norwegian Forest Cat who are bred to withstand harsh winters outdoors. He’ll stay outside for hours in the winter. You can let him be for now.”

“Can I get my guitar for you? It’s nothing special.”

“Sure. Let’s do it.”

"There’s a tuner in the case."

“I think I’m fine.” (Sidney strums and tightens strings. Picks and strums). “Got it. Okay, let’s see…” Sidney proceeds to play the prelude to James Taylor’s “You’ve Got A Friend”.

“You’ve GOT to be kidding me?” (Charlotte’s face is priceless.). [ I can’t imagine my face. I can’t believe what I’m hearing!]

Sidney smiles and chuckles. He then plays a couple bars of “When My Guitar Gently Weeps”

“Oh, my God! Sidney!! What the…?”

He adds the intro to “Norwegian Wood” for good measure.

“Oh, come on!! You play ‘some’?! I can’t believe you’ve kept this from me all this time!? “ 

“You didn’t tell me you had a guitar.”

“You didn’t disclose truthfully! Lying by omission!”

“If you can sing, too I think I’m a goner.”

Sidney proceeds to sing and play:  
\  
“Norwegian Wood”  
Written by:George Harrison

I once had a girl.  
Or should I say,  
She once had me?

Sidney smiles and watches Charlotte’s response. (He smiles that little s**t grin)

She showed me her room,  
isn’t it good, Norwegian wood?

Charlotte’s jaw hits the floor and she sits down.

Sidney then plays the intro to “Stairway To Heaven”

Charlotte then sits in the armchair and sits back and stares for a minute. She props her legs up on the ottoman. She brings both hands up to her mouth and proceeds to cry.

“What? I know I’m rusty but am I that bad?” (Sidney smiles his ornery Sidney grin.)

Charlotte just sits. Tears are falling and she’s wiping them as fast as she can.

“I’ve prayed for you, Sidney. Every part of you!”

Sidney sets the guitar down and goes to Charlotte. He kneels down. “Charlotte Heywood. This is how you lure me in. I can not help but love you.” (He raises up to kiss her forehead and hold her.)

“Come sit with me.” (On the couch.) 

“I’m sorry. I can’t seem to keep from crying around you. I truly cannot believe what happened just now. Okay, I’m going to ‘fess up here. I need to explain. I was in a divorce support group one time, years ago, and we were talking about future mates. You always hear this wive’s tale; make a list of attributes you want in your future spouse. Put the list under your pillow and pray for that person to come into your life. 

“So, I did. Ha! Never happened. I have since put the list in my desk. I haven’t seen it for years and suddenly it’s in my top drawer front and center. I kid you NOT, Sidney! So, what the hell? Let’s see what’s on this list and see if Sidney has some of these attributes.

“Sidney. I checked off the entire list except for ‘musical/can play an instrument.’ Oh, well! To get 22 out of 23 I feel very lucky. You missed the musical part but you just aced the test. Sooo...You show up + the list shows up + you play guitar = Charlotte is an emotional mess. So there you have it. You just fulfilled my “dream mate” list!” (More tears fall and Charlotte leans into Sidney.)

Sidney pulls her in until she settles. 

“I’m sorry you feel you have to hold me”.

“Now, stop. It’s my job and I get paid very, VERY well.” (He laughs.)

“Ohhh! Leave it to you.”

Charlotte and Sidney sit silently on the couch. 

“Crying is exhausting. (Sidney gently rubs Charlotte’s thigh. She and Sidney exchange smiles.) Look at us, Sidney. We’re like an old married couple. (Charlotte giggles). I kinda..LOVE it!”

“Hunh, I guess we are. I fell into that role effortlessly. What would you say?”

“Answer to prayer. And I don’t mean to be all “churchy” with you, as dad would say.” 

Charlotte stretches out on the couch and puts her head in Sidney’s lap. He lightly strokes her hair and wipes the remaining tears. What are we going to do, Sidney?"

“We’ll figure it out, Charlotte. We’ll make it work.”

“Would you want to come here?”

“Would you want to go to England?”

“I’m not sure what job opportunities I would have there. I can work other places in Europe as well. I speak the languages. I’m just not sure of my skill set; like what would my highly variable study and work experience bring me in Europe? And if we go to live in another European country you might as well live here. You’re leaving your home either way. I just don’t know without checking in to some things. I still would like to teach.”

Jason said, “Let her follow her dreams. She had to move to Minnesota because of Steve and she HATES winter climates. She made him her life for 5 years and they dated for 5, too. Basically she put her own life on hold for him, for 10 years! She’s worked really hard to move beyond that heartbreak and I’d like it if she could take care of herself for once. Make decisions of her own for herself, considering her own dreams."

Those words are ringing true in Sidney’s ears. He can see how she fell into a trap with Steve and because Charlotte is who she is she wouldn’t try to disrupt Steve’s plans. [I really feel like I can’t do that to her. Not at this point when she’s come this far on her own. But could I live in the United States? Leave my family? My hometown? Leave everything I know? It’s a whole different culture! Could I even get a job here? And what about children? Which country holds the best opportunity? Our countries are different in that regard! The philosophies are so different! Can I even compare? They won’t know or grow up with their cousins on one side of the family, no matter what the choice is.]

“Penny for your thoughts, Mr. Parker.”

“I’m thinking about my future with you. Where to settle. Where will we work? What does that look like?”

“And when will a little Rose or Theo come along?” 

(Sidney smiles a sly smile.) “ Yes, I suppose so. I have to be honest. They’re absolutely adorable, Charlotte, in my mind. In that familiar kind of way. A blond and a brunette.” (He makes eye contact with Charlotte and they share a knowing smile.) He glazes over with tears and starts stroking his beard. 

[These emotions are getting serious. I haven’t seen him do that before.] What is it he’s thinking? He surely is buried in thought. If I ask him will he give a fake answer or will he tell the truth? I can’t read that look on his face at all.]

“A nickel for your thoughts, Mr. Parker!”

“Oh, sorry! I guess I really stepped away there for a minute. Can I have you sit up?”:

“Sure.”

Charlotte sits up and Sidney takes both her hands and repeats what he said to her in the very beginning. “Like I said before, I want you to take the lead on all of this. I’ll just follow. Whatever you want or don’t want is okay with me.”

Sidney looks her straight in the eye and says, “I’m ready to be a father whenever you are ready to be a mother. It has to be right for you and I’ll be excited no matter when that happens. And I will enjoy all the practicing.” (The prude gasps. He laughs.) 

Charlotte reaches over and runs her fingers through Sidney’s hair. “You just couldn’t resist, could you? “ (They both laugh this time.) “Thank you so much for that. I love you, Sidney. You seem to know just what I need to hear.” Charlotte then turns to Sidney and pushes him backward onto the couch and proceeds to amaze him once more with her meaningful kissing.

[This really is a language all her own. A sixth language! Sidney is joking to himself. This drives me...well, drives me...I...i...i...i...absolutely love it! I absolutely Iove HER!]

Suddenly there’s an abrupt halt. This is life with someone who has ADHD. Perpetual whiplash!

“Sidney, let’s take some time tonight and do a little researching about visas and visiting our respective countries. Rather than speculate we need to be looking into it. Okay?”

[I’m deliberately NOT doing that Charlotte because if it’s bad news and it’s something we can’t change anyway, I don’t want it to wreck our remaining time together.] 

“Yes. I’m not going to freak out yet. Please come back here, Charlotte.”

“I don’t know anything other than what Jason and Frederique went through and that’s a different country. It could be totally different in England, for all I know.”

[When she’s like this she’s not purposefully ignoring you. She just is on to the next thing now. Damn!]

“Okay. That sounds like a plan. We’ll check it out tonight. Can I please get you to come back, Charlotte? Please?”

“I need to get going on dinner.”

[Thats the 3rd topic in less than 20 seconds. Aaaaaand...she’s gone and I’m left reaching. Ugh!] 

Charlotte sits up and looks over the couch out the window. "Sidney, come see this. Watch Weasley...he’s catching snowflakes. Awww, isn’t that the sweeetest!?"

“No way is that cat catching snowflakes!”

“He is! I’ve seen him do it before! He mews each time he catches one! It is just precious!”

“He ACTually catches snowflakes?"

“Sometimes he lifts up on his hind legs to catch them. Other times catches them on the way down to the ground.”

“My God! Where’s my phone? I have to video of this to remember.” Sidney proceeds to video and Charlotte keeps watching Weasley’s show. Sidney turns to Charlotte and says, “I LOVE this cat!”

Charlotte smiles to Sidney and points out the window to Weasley…”Our first child.”

___________________

“So what do you think?”

“Oh, Charlotte. This is delicious.”

“You like?”

“I love.”

“Ohhhhh, goood!” (She claps her hands.)

“Your brothers weren’t lying. You really do have a gift with soups.”

“Thank you. I love soup! In the winter I could have soup every day. Guess that much makes winter more bearable here.”

“Would you be open to a walk after dinner? It’s not bitterly cold. Just kinda cold. Warm for December!"

“Sure, why not?”

“Walking in the dark is sooo romantic. Call me weird. The world shuts down here at night. It’s peaceful. Especially in the winter. There’s a Minneapolis rhythm to life. I don’t know how to explain it—it is drastically different during the summer. People have cabins up north. 10,000 lakes you know. Oh..."

"Do you want salad? Breadsticks?"

‘I’m good.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty filling.”

___________________________

“I love my coat, Charlotte. It really has made all the difference. Perfect for when I’m back in Minneapolis.”

Charlotte stops walking. “Are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Going to keep coming to Minneapolis?”

“I don’t know, Charlotte. Will you come see me in Sanditon?”

“Yes, of course!”

“We’ll check it out when we get home. Okay? We’ll make it work. Don’t worry. [I should have already done this research. I can see her freak out face coming.] Charlotte, look at what we’ve overcome already. Please don’t worry.”

“I wish you didn’t have to go back. I would love to share winter with you. It would be amazing to have you warming my bed. That’s what’s so painful. Being alone. Ugh! Another winter alone. I HATE it!”

“Hey, I’ll be alone, too. We can keep each other company, virtually at least. Keep encouraging each other. Stay motivated. Again, I truly think we can overcome anything. You never give up and I’m a planner. What is it you guys say? “We’re ‘golden’.”

They both stop at the same time on the path and turn toward one another; “I love you, Charlotte.” (Charlotte smiles a huge smile.)

“I love you, Sidney. (Sidney smiles back.) I love US!” she adds, throwing her arms out.

(Sidney moves in to Charlotte and tips her chin to him. Charlotte and Sidney stare into each other’s eyes before they kiss.)

[I’ve got her. She’s right here in front of me. WITH me.]

[How did I get here? I want to look in those eyes everyday. I am so blessed.]

They share a sweet kiss with a tight, loving embrace.

“Thank you.”

“Myyy pleasure.”

“You’re improving all the time, by the way.” (They both laugh.)


	29. "Snow Angels"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> December 27th - She's no dummy! Charlotte and Sidney continue to learn about each other by having a plain old Minnesota day. Sidney however, needs to remember Charlotte knows how to fight and protect herself. And snow? That's just part of living in Minneapolis. Sidney has met his match.

Sidney is sitting on the couch checking out his phone. He’s leaning over with his elbows on his knees, holding his phone. Charlotte is in the armchair doing some needlepoint. Weasley raises up on his hind legs and puts both paws on the phone and pulls down.

“Weasley, wait a minute. I’ll play with you.”

Weasley sits patiently by him, on the floor and Sidney continues to mess with his phone.

Charlotte is sitting across the room and just observing this scene play out. Sidney keeps messing with his phone and Weasley keeps raising up and pushing it out of his hands.

“Weasley, c’mon! Give me a break.”

Charlotte starts to giggle. 

“What?”

“He doesn’t want to play with you he wants you to get off your phone and join the world.”

“Oh, sure.”

“Sidney, I’m serious. Sit back in the couch and see what he does”.

Sidney sits back in the couch, plays with his phone and Weasley jumps up and tugs at the phone with his paws.

“Oh. Come. On. ! Are you for real right now, Weasley!?”

“So, put your phone down on the coffee table. Then watch. He has no interest in playing with you. He just thinks you should be done with your phone.”

Sidney follows directions and sets the phone down. Weasley jumps down and goes to the center of the room and curls up and lays down on the rug.

Sidney raises his eyebrows and looks at Charlotte. She does the same to him. So, go get a book and read something for a while.

Sidney does that. Reads for about 10 minutes and sits up and starts fiddling with his phone, elbows on knees. Here comes Weasley.

Charlotte puts her needlepoint up in front of her face and snickers.  
  
“You’ve GOT to be kidding me! This cat polices your phone usage?

Charlotte pulls the needlepoint down and says, “Yes! I wasn’t joking! You can try the experiment all over again but that is literally what he’s doing! He thinks you’ve spent too much time on your phone and he wants you to put it away. There are some nights he’s so obnoxious with me I have to put him on the other side of the house.”

This is just TOO much! He pulls Weasley up in his lap and pets him. “There’s a human in there. Isn’t there? Come out. Come out, wherever you are!” Weasley reaches up and sniffs then licks his nose.

Charlotte and Sidney both burst out laughing.

“I can’t believe this cat! He’s the coolest cat I’ve ever met!”

“Yup. He is pretty special.”

“Wanna come home with me, Weasley?”

“No. Not happenin’. He’s my incentive for you to come back. (Charlotte giggles.) I’m bribing you. If I’m not enough maybe he is.”

Sidney gets up and goes to her in the chair. He sets down her needlepoint and wraps her arms around his neck. He pulls Charlotte in and gives her a solid “8” kiss and then laughs.

“Wow! That was really pretty good! I will say.” 

“How about we have a kissing contest (she starts laughing) after we scoop the sidewalk?? I need to get that done”.

“Oh, damn. I was hoping I could persuade you NOW!”

“Would you mind helping me with the sidewalk? I promise I’ll make it worth your while.” (Charlotte smiles a little s**t grin of her own.)

“Okay then. Lead the way.” 

Charlotte proceeds to school Sidney in the fine points of snow removal. Every snowfall the public sidewalk has to be scooped clean, side to side, within 24 hours. When there’s a snow of 5” or more the city declares a snow emergency and you have to move your car from side to side for the snow plow. This day there are 12” of snow.

“Wow! This can be quite a job for someone.”

“Yeah. Guess who that “someone” is?”

“Why don’t you get a snowblower?”

“I had one! Steve came one day while I was at work and took the snowblower and every single power tool, nails, screws, screwdriver, hand tools, hammer...you name it! I literally had nothing.--not a hammer! Not a nail! The disgusting thing about all that is he lived in a rental where the snow removal was provided and so was the maintenance! I asked for it back once and he refused. He “loaned” it to me after a 8” snow but he came back that afternoon to get it back. I have too much pride to ask again. That’s just creepy--and childish! I’m not going to play in to that ego.

[Every one of these things that he does makes me hate him even more. I mostly hate him for changing her. That’s gonna stop. But what a pervasive presence! I had no idea. I’m starting to figure that out.]

“Sidney!”(Charlotte tosses a snowball at him and she gets him in the head.)

“Oh! I’m not usually that good of aim! Sorry!”

“Paybacks are hell, Ms. Heywood!” Sidney proceeds to hit Charlotte in the back. He’s obviously a pretty decent aim.

“Wait, wait, wait! We’ve got to get this sidewalk done! I still have to do the back path to the garbage and around the house. When we’re done I’ll kick your ass!”

“You’re on!”

It takes about an hour for two to hand scoop 12” all around the house plus the front sidewalks. You can tell Sidney is fired up for this. Charlotte is kind of pooping out.

“Okay, c’mon. The best you got.” Sidney is tossing his snowball up and down in his hand.

Charlotte is bending down to make her snowball and Sidney nails her in the butt and starts loudly laughing.

“Oh, that is a Jason or Scott move if I ever saw one! Soooo not okay, Parker!” Charlotte proceeds to grab her snow shovel and toss a scoop at Sidney. It connects and Sidney starts howling like a school girl.

“That went down my shirt! Oh. Geeyah! That sucks! Ugh! Thanks, Charlotte!”

“Giving up, Parker? Charlotte is getting a belly laugh out of this.”

“Well, I certainly think I’ve met my equal.”

Charlotte walks over and puts her arms around Sidney. “Ohhhh, equal. I like how that sounds!”

“You do, huh?” [I’m looking forward to this kissing contest.]

“Uh-huh.” She gives Sidney a sweet kiss and then proceeds to push him backwards into the snow. Over the snowbank from the scooping so he’s in an awkward legs over back position. He’s pretty much stuck and will need her help getting up or be an awkward mess trying to get up himself.

Charlotte is crying tears right now and dancing around like “Rocky”! [dunh, dunh, dunh]

“Charlotte.”

“Yes?”

“Can you help me up?”

“No.” (She laughs right at him.)

“Charlotte.”

“Yes?”

“Will you please help me up?”

“No.” (She laughs louder. They just look at one another.)

[I can’t believe she laid me out like this! What the f**k?! Damn. That girl knows a move or two!? She thinks this is just hilarious.]

[Don’t mess with ME, Parker. I have two brothers, remember!? Suf-fah! Besides, I need to get a pic of this.] Charlotte whips out her phone and takes a few shots.

“Charlotte.”

“Yes?”

“Can you help me up now?”

“No.” She keeps a straight face for about 10 seconds and then goes over to help him. 

‘Thank you.” He reaches up and she brings her hand down toward him and then pulls it back last minute. “Are you for REAL right now? Charlotte is back to her laughing fit stage. Didn’t people say you were so nice and so sweet?”

“Okay. I’m sorry. It’s been beaten into me! What can I say? I learned my lessons well.”

She holds out her hand and helps Sidney up and gives him a sweet “don’t be mad at me now” smile.

“Charlotte Heywood. Look at you. Well, we’ll see. Can we go inside now?”

“Yes. But first a snow angel! C’mon, Sidney! You too!”

“Nooo thank you. I’ve had my body backwards in the snow enough today.”

“Are you sure? It’s so fun! Be a kid again, Sidney. Come on!”

[You know what? Why not? I’m already wet with snow down my shirt.]

“Where do you want me?”

“Right here, beside me! That will be such a cute picture with our angels together! Okay? Go!”

“Hi, Charlotte!”

Charlotte sits up. ”Margot! Oh, my gosh, my friend. How ARE you?”

“I’m good.”

“Did you have a nice Christmas?”

“Yes.”

“What was your favorite gift?”

“I got a bunny!”

“A bunny!? I got a bunny, too one Christmas.”

“Oh, aren’t they the best!”

“Yeah.”

“What did you name him? Her?”

“It’s a girl. Audrey.”

“Audrey? What a fantabulous name!! I love it! That is so awesome. What a special Christmas you’ve had. Huh?”

“Yeah.” (Margot is eyeing Sidney.)

“Margot this is my friend, Sidney! We were just making snow angels.” 

“I saw that! Would you like me to take a picture?”

“Oh, my gosh! Would you?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Okay. Give me a chance to get into place. Ready Sidney?””

“Yup.”

“Okay. On 3. 1-2-3!”

“Great!”

“Done.”

(Margot continues to take some candids as Charlotte and Sidney get up out of the snow.)

“Oh, thank you so much, Margot! That’s so sweet of you to think of that.”

“Yeah. You’re welcome I did a couple extra for fun. Hope you like them.”.

“Oh, that’s great! Thank you for that! I don’t need to keep you any longer, my dear. Are you off to Anna’s house?”

“Yes.”

“Tell that girl ‘heeeyy” from me.”

Margot laughs. “I will. Okay. Bye.”

“Bye, my friend!”

“Okay, now that’s the cutest thing ever. You are great with kids. No lie.”

“I love kids! They humble me so much! Ugh! I wish I could be more open and courageous like they are.”

“So, can we go in now? All that snow went down my shirt.”

“Our pants are wet, too. Snow angels are fun but they’re really meant for kids who are in their Minnesota snowsuits! Bring your stuff to me and I’ll dry them for you.”

_________________________

Charlotte is standing in her sweatpants, tshirt, sweatshirt, socks and slippers trying to warm up in the laundry room. Here enters Sidney in his Christmas boxers, carrying his wet clothes. Charlotte turns around.

“Oh! Phhh! Couldn’t wear some clothes? Aren’t you cold?”

[Oh, God. That body is insane. Do something else, Charlotte.]

“I’m air drying my body. All of me got wet. And cold.” Sidney raises his eyebrows to Charlotte. [Oh, if she doesn’t take this hint she’s got one hell of a resolve.]

“Really? Well there are towels in your bedroom. Use those to dry off and you’ll automatically feel warmer. And then clothes. Putting on clothes will help. I washed your sweatpants just the other day.” Charlotte turns around to fold the laundry from the dryer. [Sweet Jesus. He needs to leave. Like, NOW!]

“What are we doing after this?” [This will get her.]

“Maybe go get some sushi for you. You’ve been talking about that. I will take a hard pass on that but I’ll get something else. Whatever you want but it requires clothes.”

“No it doesn’t.”

[Oh, shit.] Charlotte throws her eyes up to the ceiling.

“I walked right into that one, didn’t I?”

Charlotte turns around to face Sidney’s satisfied expression. “I’m not normally that dumb.”

Sidney moves forward and puts his hands around her waist. “What do YOU want to do?”

“That doesn’t require clothes, either.“ Charlotte softly giggles at Sidney.


	30. "3 Out Of Three"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> December 28th - Road trip, shopping and have one person get sick. (This is a wives' tale.) These are the three things that every couple should go through before they get married. It's a good indicator of temperament, patience, problem solving, finances and ability to care for someone and show empathy to others. Try it! It's true!

Is there anything more unnerving than hearing a loved one vomiting in the night? It’s such a helpless feeling. You essentially have to sit back and watch them be sick.

3:00 am Sidney gets up and is vomiting. It takes Charlotte a few minutes to get oriented and awake. This is always the hardest thing. Everyone gets sick in their own way. Handles the process in their own manner.

It appears as though Sidney may have gotten food poisoning from his sushi. So….the first cycle around Charlotte stands behind the door and waits until things subside.

“Sidney, is there anything I can do?”

“No. I think I better just stay in here a while.” 

“Can I bring you anything?”

“No. Thanks.” (And he vomits again)

“The rounds of vomiting continue for 45 minutes or so.

Sidney splashes water on his face and opens the door.

Charlotte is standing with a glass of water and a washcloth.

“Oh, thanks” and he takes a couple gulps of water.

Charlotte yells, “No!” and tries to keep the glass. “That’s for rinsing your teeth. You really shouldn’t be drinking water right now. Here, rinse your teeth and get that stomach acid off of them.” Sidney takes a seat on the toilet. Charlotte crosses over to the sink and wets the washcloth and wipes his forehead and his face. She goes back to make a cooler washcloth and puts the washcloth on the temporal points on the back of his neck.

Sidney reaches over to her and wraps his arms around her thighs and rests his head on her stomach. Charlotte runs her fingers through his hair.

“Is this okay or would you rather not be touched.”

“It’s okay.”

“Take note. I do NOT like to be touched. Opposites.” (They both giggle.)

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. There’s more that I can do for you once we get past this phase.”

“I think I’m done vomiting.”

“No, you’re not.” Within a minute Sidney is back to vomiting but practically dry heaves. It’s the acid and mucus from the stomach. And the water.

“No more water, Sidney. Not yet. Okay?”

“Go rinse your teeth, please. God, I sound like such a Mom! Please take care of your teeth. Thank you.”

“Should we go lay down?”

“Yeah, that would be good.”

“Are you too hot?” 

“Yeah. I should change this shirt.”

“Get your new shirt, we’ll put it on the nightstand for when you want it; lie down and I’ll help with feeling overheated.”

Charlotte goes to get a bowl of water and brings her washcloth.  
“Lay down on your side or stomach.” (Sidney chooses the stomach.). Charlotte proceeds to gently wash his back. It isn’t long until Sidney is resting. Charlotte pulls the sheet up over him. (Too soon to know if he’ll be hot or chilled after this.)

Charlotte lays down next to him and keeps a hand on him so she’ll know when he wakes up. It’s about 5:00 am. 

On cue stage 2 starts. Sidney is spending a lot of time in the bathroom. This is a time for Charlotte to get some sleep.

Poor guy. He’s getting the whole spectrum. Charlotte offers a washcloth rub. This time he chooses to lay on his back so she is rubbing his (beautiful) chest and torso. [OMG this is craaazzy! I’m touching THAT body—intimately? Sweeet Jesus! Really? This is such a different perspective. I am humbled in the most real way. I wonder what he thinks about me?] 

Just then Sidney catches her hand and whispers “thank you.” Charlotte bends over near his face and runs her fingers through his hair. “My privilege. I mean that.” She gives him a sweet kiss.

“You rest. Then we’ll try some water. I love you. I’m sorry you’re not feeling well.” <‘n/p>

“I love you, too. Thanks for taking care of me.”

“Always” and she kisses his cheek. [I know she means that. “Always” here for me. Of course, she feels that way—that’s Charlotte!] ”I haven’t done much. There’s more that I can do once we pass this part. Rest.” (She pushes his curls back off his face and kisses his forehead.)

Sidney awakens a couple hours later and is feeling better but not great. Definitely in the fog. Charlotte has already gotten up in order to get herself set up for the day. She’s going to be in the adjacent room so she can work but also help Sidney if she needs to.

“Hi, there! How are you feeling?”

“Not the best.”

“Still kinda punky?”

Sidney laughs at that. ”What? Punky?”

“Oh, now don’t go making fun of me again." 

"Does that go with ‘potty’ break?” 

“Ohhhhh, I see you’re feeling better, Mr. Parker. Already coming at me. (Charlotte giggles.) Are you ready to see if you can hold down water?”

“Yes. Please.”

“I know, it’s a weird feeling isn’t it. To not be able to drink. Well, here’s the deal. We’re going to do one teaspoon at a time. The mistake people make is gulping down lots of water. You have to take it slow. Over hours of time. If you do this properly you should have no trouble. So - 1,2,4,8 teaspoons on the quarter hour in your first hour. Do you get that? Then it’s double everything in the second hour. (2,4,8,16….every 15 minutes.) Then you’ll feel a lot better. Just to get hydrated again.”

“Where did you come up with this?” 

“ A nurse taught me for children. I’ve nannied now for several years. It works every time if you do the steps. When we get you to 2/3 a cup you should be able to tolerate everything, but go lightly. Always stop if you’re feeling nauseous.”

“I’m going to go get you some Pedialyte and some Tums.” 

“What’s that? Pedialyte is for babies to restore the electrolyte imbalance that happens when you’re vomiting. Tums is to help settle your stomach. Take as needed.”

“We’ll first have some chamomile tea. My British boyfriend should like that. Later, we’ll try some solid foods. I do chicken with rice soup, saltines and flattened ginger ale, depending on how you’re tolerating things.”

“Sounds good. I am kinda hungry. How about one of those rub downs? Can we try that when I’m NOT sick?!”

“Oh, were you talking for yourself? I thought you were talking for me!? Right? You lose! (Charlotte giggles). You’re DEFINITELY feeling better!”

“I have a couple more things I do for PUNKY tummies! I’ll get that started when I get back.”

She pauses in the doorway and just looks at him…

“I love you, Sidney Parker. I can no longer run away from that.”

“Thank you for loving me.”

“You’re very welcome. Myyyy pleasure.”

_____________________

It’s early evening and Charlotte checks in on Sidney. She slips in bed. Sidney is sleeping on his side with his back to her.

[I just want to look at him. I want to memorize these things. The size of his (shirtless) back. The curly hair, the complexion...all of it. I don’t know what I’m going to do when he’s gone. I really can’t imagine it. It’s been 2 weeks. Two weeks today that he stepped into my world. I can’t believe how much has passed between us. It alll has gone so quickly and FULLY once I allowed myself to FEEL things. Pretty much blows my mind. I can’t believe how much I love him. I can see a future with him. I dreamed and prayed for him but I never thought someone would actually show up!? He’s here! And I’m so lucky.]

Sidney rolls over to see Charlotte next to him.

“Heeey.”

“Heeyy.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Better.”

“Can I rest with you?”

“Absolutely! Come on in.”

Sidney takes her in and holds her tight and Charlotte drifts off to sleep. Pretty soon she slips out of bed and proceeds to work on her ipad and watch some “Law & Order SVU”. [Oh, I’ve seen this one. (I’ve seen them all! Charlotte giggles.) Well, that’s okay. I need to concentrate on this.]

The lights are off in the room. Just the flickering light of the tv show is all that’s on and the glow of the ipad. Charlotte is on the couch with her iPad. Her face is lit up by the screen and she is very taken with what she’s working on. Sidney wakes and rolls over to watch her.

[She reads, writes or researches every day. How can anyone keep up with that pace? I’m actually in awe of that—how much she wants to learn. She’s always inquisitive, that’s for sure. Whatever this is she’s reading she’s intent. Could be cancer research knowing her.]

Sidney gets up and goes to the couch to check on her. “Hey. Are you okay?”

Charlotte responds with a smile, “Yes. I’m okay.”

[I hate “okay”. What does that really mean?] “What are you learning now?” Sidney asks with a grin.

“Actually, nothing, I’m playing solitaire. I tend to do that sometimes. Mindless. Boring. I can usually fall asleep—unless of course he beats me several games in a row. THEN I get vengeful and won’t stop until I beat him. Imagine that, right? (She smiles at Sidney.)

[The flash of the tv makes her look bewitching.] 

“Would you like some ginger ale? Gatorade?”

“I can get it for myself. You don’t have to get up.”

“No, I’ll get it for you. Which one?"

"Gingerale. Please".

"I’ll feel sorry for you and pamper you one day. That’s it!” 

Charlotte lays her iPad face down on the coffee table and heads upstairs to the kitchen. Sidney picks it up to see what she really is doing and there’s an email from her lawyer, a page open to her mortgage account and a page open to her bank account.

[Whoa. I shouldn’t know this stuff but I’m glad I do. This is what Scott was talking about. This is very troublesome.]

Charlotte descends the stairs and Sidney lays the iPad down quickly. “Here you go! Are you feeling better? Like fairly well? You should be by this many hours into it.”

“Yeah, I’m actually feeling 90%, thanks to you.”

Charlotte picks up her iPad and realizes she kept her financial windows open so she quickly pulls up the solitaire page. “I’m winning this one so far.” She smiles a lying grin and holds up and shows Sidney the solitaire game on the iPad.

[I can’t believe she does such a good job playing the lying game. Maybe that’s the Heywood theatre training? Like she’s getting out of speeding tickets! Regardless, it’s breaking my heart. Should I say something? God! I hate this! This is like her health issues. Her divorce. Although, if I know her, and I’m beginning to, it’s easier for her to discuss things out of her control versus something like this, her finances, which she feels is her fault and should be in better control than it is.]

“Sidney….are you okay? You’re spacing off. Do you feel okay or is something not right? Are you keeping something from me? Your stomach? Your digestion? If it's a headache that’s likely dehydration. The gingerale should help.”

“Oh, no. I’m really, doing quite well considering where I was early this morning. Thanks again for taking care of me.” 

“Of course. Always.” She reaches over to run her fingers through his hair and then rubs his cheek. She mouths, “Love you.” Sidney takes her hand off his cheek and kisses it.”

“Could I get you to come back to bed with me, Charlotte?”

“You know, I really did a bad thing by taking an early evening nap. I’m afraid I’m going to have to work at falling asleep now. Maybe in a little bit. Okay?"

Sidney looks at her with concern. [How easy is it to fall asleep after looking at one’s finances? Me? Numbers guy? I couldn’t—unless the numbers were in my favor. THIS...is not. Do I say something? If I did it indicates I’ve been keeping a secret all this time and now, I betrayed her trust by looking at her iPad.]

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You’d tell me if something were wrong, wouldn’t you, Charlotte?”

Charlotte lowers her head in order to not make eye contact. “Of course. Why?” She throws her head back and makes eye contact again.

Sidney reaches over for the iPad and turns it face down onto the coffee table. “Charlotte, please come back to bed with me.”

Charlotte laughs, “Now THAT will not help me fall asleep! For guys, yes. For this girl, no.” She smiles a sweet smile.

“I just want to hold you. You seem sad to me. Can I hold you, please?”

Charlotte glances over and here comes that lone tear. [Yeah. That tells me all I need to know.]

“Will you come back to bed with me? Please?” Sidney stands up and reaches out his hand.

Charlotte forces a smile and reaches out to him. “Thank you, Sidney.” 

“Let me.” (Sidney is wiping her tears then whispers softly.) “I love you so much, Charlotte. Why don’t you let me take care of YOU now.”

“I’m okay.”

[You’re “okay", Charlotte? Really? I need you to tell me. “Okay?” Like when Steve doesn’t kiss you or show you affection? No. It’s not "okay." This definitely is not an "okay" situation. If you’re not ready to share, that’s fine. At least I get to hold you.]


	31. "Crackers?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> December 29th - As time goes on Sidney and Charlotte's relationship is getting stronger and stronger. A review of the "tri fecta" reconfirms how compatible they are. They've come so far so quickly. What is the next hurdle?

“We have two chances to rush tickets at the Guthrie today. I think our best bet is the matinee show. You never know. I figure we can try both shows if we miss out on the matinee. Are you game for that? You’ll stand in line a while.”

Sidney nods yes. He’s being quiet right now. Charlotte babbles on.

“I’ve gotten some great seats doing this though and much cheaper. The trick is finding two together.

“You’re going to love it. It is their annual show. They’ve got it down to a science. A lot of people return to their parts. It’s fabulous! I feel so lucky to be able to see theater like this.”

“Yes, the Twin Cities have a lot of things I want to try. Museums, festivals, shows, music. There’s a lot to do here”.

“You’ll be coming back. We’ll have time for things then.”

“Yes.” Sidney looks at her with tearful eyes.

“I’m sorry. I’m talking too much.” Charlotte lets go of his arm and stands in front of him and hugs him and looks him in the eye. He looks down to keep from crying. Charlotte puts her hands on his shoulders leans in and says, “It’s my turn to tell YOU it’s all going to be alright? (She takes her hands off his shoulders and wraps her arms around him in a hug.) “It is, you know. Everything is going to be okay. I promise.” Sidney grabs her and holds on tight, “I love you so much, Sidney. Don’t ever doubt that.”

“FABULOUS as always! I think that’s the third time I’ve seen it. Did you enjoy it?”

“This is one of those shows where I’m dumbfounded. It doesn’t flow like theatre—it’s seamless like tv. They make it seem effortless.”

“Aren’t the actors amazing? That Ebenezer has come back for years. He’s awesome.” Charlotte keeps talking away and doesn’t realize Sidney isn’t conversing.

Sidney stops on the sidewalk and turns to Charlotte. He reaches for both her hands and says, “Charlotte. Thank you for this. For everything you’ve done to make this visit special. I can’t thank you enough for that.”

Charlotte leans in kisses him sweetly while still holding hands. “Truly, Sidney, it has been my pleasure. (She pops a smile.). This has been the happiest 2 weeks I’ve ever spent with another person. It’s all because of you, Sidney. I thank you.”

Sidney wraps his arms around Charlotte’s waist and she wraps her arms around Sidney’s neck. What she thought would be a kiss ended up being a long, precious hug. They’re on the streets of Minneapolis with snow falling down. It’s perfect.

_________________________

“So, would you like to go on a walk with me? We have yet to go around the lake. Since you’re a weenie I might suggest going around the lagoon for this first time.” 

“Right now?”

“Oh, Sidney it is so beautiful out when the weather is like this. It’s magical, I swear. But only if you want to…?”

“Sure! When in Minnesota…”

“So, I feel like I should point out to you that we have successfully completed the pre-marriage tri-fecta.”

Sidney chuckles. “What is THAAAT? You’ve got me curious now.”

“Well, every couple should do these three things together before they get married cause it tells a lot about the relationship itself. Or foreshadows the marriage.”

“So what are they?”

“Go shopping together--we got your coat. I think we did pretty well. I won’t be picking your colors for you Sidney! Or making the final decision. That’s all up to you, my man!

“I WILL do the research for you and guide you but final decisions are yours. [Or mine or ours.] Isn’t that interesting. I think that is EXACTLY what I would do about things in our relationship. In terms of purchases and decision-making.”

“Hmmm. Curious. I never thought of it that way. Maybe there IS something to this tri-fecta thing."

“Well, I like the fact that you listened to my needs, researched based upon that and came up with only two options. Two works for me. More than that I have a hard time deciding sometimes. And I agree on buying the best you can afford. So… (Sidney raises his hand for a high five.) Good teamwork!”

“And you look very handsome, Mr. Parker.”

“Why thank you, Ms. Heywood.” (Sweet smiles exchanged.)

“The second part of the tri-fecta is to road trip together somewhere. I think we should give ourselves EXTRA points cause we took a road trip HOME! That’s gotta count for something! Right?"

“So in terms of the road trip, how do you think it went? The road trip itself.”

“I felt like we did well there. We stayed on time. We took breaks--some of them very meaningful. We talked the whole way without any awkwardness. Join in when you want…”(Sidney snickers)

“You were a baby about the distance and for some reason didn’t listen to me about that. (Charlotte giggles) The coat worked well! I didn’t hear you whining anymore!”

“That’s fair.”

“Gracious enough to drive and not make me feel guilty when I had the migraine.” 

“Of course I’d do that. I wanted to keep you safe.”  
.  
“Couldn’t handle the Audobon. (Charlotte winks) Participated and liked the Ames stop with night time driving.”

“Yes. You did do a good job trouble shooting that for me. It was sooo much better coming back. And I will do a better job of it next time to Red Oak. I wasn’t aware of just how long it took.”

“We’ve touched on the visit itself so I’ll leave that out of the equation.” 

“Yes. We did pretty well.”

“For ME! We did GREAT on the time thing! That’s not my strong suit.”

“So I’ve heard!”

“So we come away with... you helped with the on-time stuff. And you were polite about it because I don’t ever remember it being an issue. Do you?”

“No. I felt you did well! I heard you tell your brother you’re ‘doing better’...?”

“I am in recovery, let’s say! Always punctually challenged but work daily to maintain my ‘sobriety’. I’m not sure what you’d say there! It’s just always been a struggle. I recognize it and I try to change that in myself. That’s an ADHD thing. I get distracted by things instead of getting out the door.”

“I know. Arthur is the worst. Diana is a close 2nd. Tom is not the best, either. I guess I’m the only one who is on time. I wasn’t for many, many years. And I wouldn’t be just minutes I could be hours late! That was a past lifetime. I’m 'rehabilitated.' Sidney smiles at Charlotte. Let’s say, I can relate to your struggles.”

“Good! Thank you for telling me that. So, overall I think the road trip itself went off very smoothly considering we hadn’t done ANYTHING that long of time  
together. That was the 5th day of being together.

That’s crazy. Wow! That is kind of amazing, isn’t it?

We did really well, I would say, Sidney, considering!” (Charlotte raises her hand for a high five and they slap.)

“The last one is have someone in the couple get sick. See how they act when sick. See how they’re taken care of by the other, that type of thing. In our case we BOTH got sick! Yea, us!!”

They high five and laugh!

“I was amazed how you took control of my situation, Charlotte. You knew what and when to do things. I felt confident you would take good care of me. You were encouraging and loving. Your touch was amazing. I remember that. It felt warm, like you had a healing power in your touch. Really, really comforting. I felt loved.”

“Awww, Sidney. You are so sweet! ‘I felt loved’ is the most important part when you’re not well. And that brings me to MY sickness experience. You were amazing to stay the whole night and hold my hand. I’ve always wanted to sleep with someone and just hold hands--not from sickness, out of love. But to wake up with you beside me for the first time and you’re still holding my hand…? Really? That was a breakthrough moment in terms of falling, I should say, falling MORE in love with you. And that was Christmas Eve day. I felt like I had a very beautiful gift delivered when I saw you there.” 

“Mmmm. That’s nice, Charlotte. Thank you. Hmmm, so I just have to back up to this ‘more in love with me’ comment.”

“Oh! You do huh?”

“Yes. Just when did this INITIAL loving me thing happen?”

“Oh, Sidney. C’mon. Do I need to stroke your ego?”

“Yes. (Straight-faced) Yes, you do. And then he smiles a big smile.”

“Okay, I don’t remember exactly WHEN it came upon me. It just was more and more as we spent time together. It was so easy that I didn’t realize it was building until things like just now happen. Rolling over to find a guy in my bed? I would have been appalled if my behavior brought a man to my bed. With you it was more like, ‘Oh, I know him. I love waking up to him.’ Can I do this tomorrow? And the day after that? And the day after that…?”

“I don’t have a specific start day like you--the first day you saw me, type of thing. I just have a gradual 'burn' one would say. I started liking you back in Sanditon. Which I wasn’t about to give in to--and then I weakened and kissed you and yeah, you know that story. When did I start LOVING you…? I don’t know? From when you snuggled with me? When was that??”

Sidney starts to smile a slow smile. [I thought she might mention this.] ”It was the very next day after we arrived.” 

“Was it really?” 

“Yes. I remember. I felt it was a turning point for us.”

“The very first day together?” 

“Yes.” (Sidney nods.)

“The MORNING of that first day. The FIRST HOUR of that first day.” 

“Oh, my God, Sidney. I didn’t realize that? I’ve loved you since the first day we said “good morning” to each other?! No wonder I didn’t know when. It was from the very beginning! Wow!” 

Charlotte is crying (surprise, surprise) and holding on to Sidney’s hand. He reaches over to wipe her tears. She whispers, “I love you so much.”

“Yeah, well...I’m pretty sure I love you more.”

_______________________

“Then, I suppose I owe you a “Gunsmoke”, don’t I?”

“Yes. You most definitely DO!”

“Okay. I think I’ll do my needlepoint, okay?”

“I can’t believe you needlepoint, too? I’m learning so much about you Ms. Heywood. Your skills are as varied as your degrees!” 

“Yes, well I’ve been on this Christmas stocking for Floyd this whole year! He’ll be grown up before I get it done at this rate.”

“Well, it’s nice.” 

“Thank you. It’s fun! I just can’t find the time. Well….out of school I may find some time.”

________________________________________

Charlotte is cleaning up the kitchen after dinner. She notices the Saltines keeper is on the counter. Sidney was eating saltines all day yesterday. Charlotte gets an idea. She grabs a sleeve of crackers and goes downstairs to Sidney. 

“Here ya’ go” and she tosses the crackers to Sidney.

“I don’t need these now, thanks. I’m feeling pretty good thanks to you.”

Charlotte just stands there with her hands on her hips and a smile on her face ….waiting….waiting….AND waiting.

Sidney is looking at Charlotte. He puts the crackers on the coffee table and then LOOKS at her!? He’s starting to get it. Maybe. (Charlotte is giggling.)

“Charlotte, can I eat crackers in your bed?” (With a little s**t grin.)

Charlotte, from the back side of the couch, wraps her arms around his shoulders and whispers in his ear, “Please do.”

“Gunsmoke” goes off and Weasley gets dumped out of his lap

[Thanks, Grandma GG!}.


	32. "The 4th Test"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> December 30th - There actually is one more "test" that every couple should do before marriage and that is have an argument. You can tell a lot about a person when they fight and how they resolve conflict. This ain't no mouse in the house type of disagreement.

“Sidney?”

“Yes?”

“Would you be willing to take a walk with me? Around the lake?”

“Why do you say it like that?”

“Cause you’re a weenie and it’s the farthest we would walk. (Charlotte smiles) Just sayin’!”

“Okay, Heywood. Yes! Yes, of COURSE, I would love to take a longer walk! What are you up to?”

“Oh, nothing.” 

“You’re not going to push me in a snow pile, are you?”

(Charlotte giggles.) “No. But that was hilarious! You underestimate me Mr. Parker. You need to be on your toes--at all times!”

“No kidding!”

“You’ll want a hat and scarf, too. The wind whips off that lake and it is damn cold. Beautiful, but cold!”

______________________

“So. What is it you want to talk about?””

(Charlotte grabs Sidney’s arm and looks up to him.) “Am I that obvious?”

“Uhhhhh. Yes. I’m learning more and more about you all the time. Walking you love to do because getting out of the house alleviates distractions and, it's peaceful. You like your peaceful time. So...YES, you are that obvious. What is it? If it requires a longer walk, it must be serious”.

(Charlotte slaps his arm.) “C’mon. Don’t come with an attitude now!”

“I’m NOT! You’re obviously going to share something important. And if it’s important to you, it’s important to me.”

Charlotte looks up at him with a disbelieving expression.

“Damn! That was boyfriend perfection right there. Back slap for me!”

(Charlotte can’t help but giggle!). “Yes. Well, I’m learning about YOU, too. I question your sincerity.”

“Sidney turns Charlotte to him and says, I’m very sincere, Charlotte. Sometimes I just don’t know what to say. I’ve never walked this path of life before. Let alone bringing someone along with me…?”

“Oooo, I like how that sounds. ‘Bringing someone along with me.’” Charlotte looks him in the eye and smiles. “You have beautiful eyes, you know that? I can see you’re telling the truth about being sincere. (Charlotte smiles and gives a quick peck of a kiss.) [Are you serious with that “bring along” comment?] Thank you for that.”

“Well, Sidney, I can see you’ve been insecure or you are questioning some things so I wanted to share my idea with you. It certainly has helped me throughout my life. When something is going wrong I just have to revisit this and I can figure out how to make things better. Quite literally all of my angst can be traced back to this. Grandma GG taught me this. It’s been invaluable to me really.”

“What is it?”

“Well, there’s this thing called “the seven deadly sins” and I wanted to share them with you. Now, “sin” connotes Christianity and that you’ve done something wrong. I don’t want to turn you off. Consider this a concept or a theory—whatever you want. ‘The 7 deadly sins’ is what I was raised with but name them what you wish. You can choose to call them ‘temptations’ or ‘enemies’ or whatever. When you let one or more of these 7 take over a ‘regrettable moment’ happens. A time when, with some practice and working AGAINST these 7, doesn’t have to happen at all and you’ll find yourself a whole lot happier.

“I came across this term recently. ‘regrettable moment.’ Isn’t it a great description?! Not shaming. Just sayin’ it like it is…’regrettable’, like ‘I really wish I hadn’t done that.’ I have had so many ‘regrettable moments’ over my lifetime that it’s embarrassing. Very humbling. I LOVE that term! It describes things perfectly. I’ll be using that term in the future. 

“Anyway, you figure out what you want to name the 7–are they sins? Temptations? Enemies? I just want you to make the name be something easy for you to recall because when distress happens often it needs to be a split-second decision. We don’t have to share the same name, as long as we get to the same place in the end. That’s what matters! Okay? Am I making sense?”

“Yes.”

“I’m going to have to ask you that as we go because this can get confusing without a piece of paper to write on. Bear with me.

“Okay, Sidney, I see you wrestling with some of these 7 temptations. I just want to HELP you, if I can…? This could’ve taken a lifetime for you to find this or you may never have found this “concept”or “theory” at all. I want to save you some valuable time and effort because the sooner you get control of these 7 in your life the sooner you will feel happier and become more confident. 

“I’ve shared this with other people and I’d like to share it with you. I feel you need to hear this now and I feel compelled that I am the one who should share it with you. You’ve got to be ready to receive it and I think you’re emotionally ready now. If you’re questioning things and you’re getting scared or frustrated, that indicates to me you’re ready. You’re searching, Sidney. I can see that.

“I’m going to do this with my children starting from a young age. Maintaining control over these 7 builds up good character which in turn leads to all that’s GOOD in your life--morals, values, integrity, etc. (Charlotte and Sidney share a knowing smile.) This concept or theory really pertains to building solid character. I use a teaching method that actually involves building blocks with children. They grasp the concept SO much faster than adults, of course. I’ll try any kind of method it takes to reach those little ones. I’ve already done this with some of my nanny kids and I think it works well. 

“You can never start too early! ‘Now, Johnny, how do we deal with anger? Now, Susie, I understand you have feelings about that girl having a doll you like. That’s called, jealousy. Let’s figure out how to handle that.,.’ Ugh! I sooo could have used that at that young age. I was a tween before I learned this. Charlotte giggles and makes eye contact with Sidney. They stop and stare for a minute, then smile.

“Anyway, the 7 deadly sins/temptations /enemies are: Gluttony, Greed, Lust, Laziness, Pride, Jealousy (Envy) and Anger (Wrath). Now this isn’t about guilt. It’s about avoiding costly mistakes in the first place. I grew up with the ‘sins’ and that designation works for me. Because when I let one (or more) of these 7 get the better of me, I feel “dead” inside. You create what works for you.

“As Christains we are asked to go beyond condemnation to understanding what truly drives people to... their more ‘regrettable moments.’ As HUMANS we need to do that--not just Christians. This isn’t an exclusive club. I was looking for some song lyrics and came across a YouTube video (1) that went into depth on everything and is far more eloquent in delivering the message than I will be. I’ll have you watch it because we’ll surely need to discuss all this further. I’m not going to say all this as beautifully as the video but I’m sincere in my message and my efforts for you. Okay?”

“Yes, Okay. Of course.”

“Are you okay listening to this or is it too ‘churchy’ like my dad says?” 

“I forgot that about your dad!” (Sidney gets a good laugh out of that.) 

” Is it okay? I don’t want to turn you off. It’s just the way I learned it.”

“It’s good. I’m fine with it.”

“Basically, it all comes down to choices we get to make. First you have to recognize what’s going on. Then “choose the high road”, as it were. Believe me, the recognition is the hardest part—especially for adults! We have a convenient way of denying things and talking BS to ourselves.

“Sound character becomes your “moral compass”--the difference between right and wrong. The north and south of your life. That compass keeps you focused on doing good for others and it affects everything in your own life.”

“Am I making sense still?”

“Actually, yes. And I appreciate the lesson.”

“Anyway...We, as humanity, as a whole, need to go beyond condemning others and help others to see what is tempting them to their ‘regrettable moment.’ That’s where I’m stepping in because that ‘regrettable moment’ results in finding yourself in a sad place. Unhappy. You know you’ve made a mistake and you’re unhappy about it! I like that term, too. I can relate to “sad”—in more ways than one, right?” (Charlotte looks over at Sidney and he looks at her momentarily and nods.) [I think I know what she’s talking about—the manifestation of sadness in one who has bipolar. I've seen her sink very low once.]

“Sidney, I want to keep you away from the ‘sad place’ . I saw it in you while in Sanditon. My ‘sad place’ is that ‘death’ I was referring to earlier. I see you sad sometimes, Sidney. I want you to be as happy as you deserve.”

“Okay...now, Ugh! I was afraid I would do this at some point. ‘Sad place.’ That did it! I have recently been to my own type of ‘sad place’--but a different meaning. [Yes, as I thought. She was referring to her struggles with depression as it relates to her bipolar disorder.] I said I wouldn’t do this but my eyes are starting to burn and my throat is tightening. I apologize ahead of time, for what’s to come…”

“Of course.”

“So, you know me, Sidney. What am I about to do?”

“Cry.” (He softly giggles.)

“Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding! Ugh! You are corRECT, sir!” (Charlotte jokes, throws her index finger in the air and smiles.)

“I know what you’re thinking! She’s going to cry? What a surprise!? What does her constant crying have to do with this?” (Charlotte slightly giggles.) “Well, I’ll tell you. I am TRULY a sinner with all this but I’m trying, Sidney!! This DEFINITELY is a ‘teachable moment’ as I say when I nanny. This is a perfect teachable moment and Iiii am the example! I don’t want to have a ‘regrettable moment’ so I first have to acknowledge my sin/enemy/temptation. There are 2. Jealousy(Envy) and Anger(Wrath).” (Charlotte tears up.)

“Oh, shit. Here I go! I wasn’t going to even talk about myself but ever since this happened I have not been able to shake it.” 

“Shake what? What is it?” 

“Oh God! (Charlotte throws her head back in the air and turns half circle to put her back to Sidney; she throws her head back as if that will stop gravity and the tears that are rolling down her cheeks. Oh, God. Dammit! I guess I can share this as a learning tool for YOU. Right?”

‘“Charlotte, you’re scaring me right now. What do you mean?”

“Sidney, you know when we were in the Mexican restaurant and you were having trouble with jealousy (and subsequent anger!) about my RO and Beta friends? I really tried to comfort you and reassure you that night but you weren’t settling down. You were jealous. You were angry. Basically I brought up the easily identifiable jealousy thing that Iiii feel which is the women you’ve slept with. Do you remember all this?”

“Yes. I deserved that.”

You gave me the straaangest look. I didn’t know what it meant at the time.

“Well, I truly never thought about it again until the other night. I mean, I knew you made some wrong choices in the past. We all have. In the middle of the night I put together your expression with what I remembered Crowe and Esther cryptically telling me. At 1:56 in the morning I realized what that meant! That means that the number of women is a LOT! Much, MUCH higher than I ever imagined!? They were trying to tell me nicely but I swear, sometimes you have to hit me with a two by four! I think I’m basically blind to the bad in people because I want to think good of others. I figured it out Sidney and I don’t know what to do with that jealousy and that anger that I’m feeling. I have to be honest. It’s getting the best of me.”

“What are you saying, Charlotte?l”

“I’m saying I am so PISSED at you, Sidney!! (She starts crying harder.) How could you DO that?? To yourself? To those women? To your future partner in life? Is that not me after all? I don’t know if I can accept that!? What the HELLLL, Sidney!?” Charlotte is big-time crying now. Sidney is wondering if this is the end.

“Did you ever stop, even for a tiny second, and consider the long-term repercussions of your behavior? Are you sure there aren’t any children out there?”

“Charlotte, please.” 

“Answer me, Sidney! (Charlotte snaps and speaks with anger.) Don’t divert attention!”

“No. Why would you ask such a thing?”

“Sidney, please. Don’t insult me! WHY would I ask such a thing? Are you following the conversation here at all? Sex creates pregnancy. Pregnancy creates children. PLEASE don’t play ignorant with me again or you will have a full on, all out FIGHT on your hands!”

“Charlotte! Wow! Really? Your mind goes there?”

“AbsoLUTEly! Let me guess...yours...DOESN'T!"

[I know she’s for real, asking this question. I guess I need to do...what? I don’t know WHAT? I need to validate the question, I guess.]

“No. A definite ‘no’. Yes. I made bad choices and I’m sorry.”

“How about STD’S?? Would you even tell the TRUTH on that one? “ 

“Jesus Christ, Charlotte! Are you serious?

“YEEESSS! Dozens upon dozens of women? Are YOU for real right now, Sidney? Playing the innocent? It’s WAAAAY too late for that!” 

“An STD?” 

“YES! Are you familiar with the acronym?” (Charlotte throws her chin up in indignation.)

“God, Charlotte…”

“ANSWER the question!” (Again Charlotte snaps)

“No! I don’t like where this is going.” [God here comes the feisty fighting tiger cub! Shit! She likely knows just how to nail someone to the wall.]

“ME EITHER! You know, last I knew STD’s can lie dormant for years! Am I misinformed? Or am I considered ignorant--with 4 college degrees?”

Sidney looks at Charlotte with exasperation. “This is irrelevant. I would always take care of you if there ever were such a thing. Gaahhh, Charlotte!”

“That isn’t exactly a ‘no’ Sidney!” How about considering that I don’t WANT any disease and I don’t DESERVE one just because of your lifestyle choices. They 're not MYYY lifestyle choices because Iiii would never go there! EVER! Can you see my frustration and hurt? I could get a permanent illness because of YOUR choices. That's not FAIR, Sidney."

“Charlotte! Not that I know of. C’mon.”

“You’ll see where I’m going with this a little later. Fill me in on your sex life, Sidney.”

“I stopped when you arrived.”

“Are you for real, right now??”

“Would you STOP asking me that! Of COURSE I’m for real.” 

“Sidney, damm-mmit! I know you've TOLD me that but...? What? Conveniently forgot a few? Don’t LIE to me! PLEASE, let’s not start off from the beginning lying to each other and insulting the intelligence of the other--basically belittling the other person. I can’t take that. I WON’T take that! Been there done that! Iiii will ALWAYS tell you the truth, Sidney, at any time you ask for it. I can PROMISE you that right now."

[I know that will always be the case. It’s not like I’m lying. I’m telling the truth as Iiii re..mem..ber... it.]

“You slept with women while I was THERE! Practically every time we all went out together. I know that for sure! I WITNESSED that! Three! I saw three hookups. You didn’t ‘stop’ when I got there! Sidney, c’mon! That’s such BS and you know it!" 

"I didn't follow through."

“You know what, Sidney? You and I made eye contact one time when you were at the door. Didn’t we? (Sidney is looking down and just listening to Charlotte.) [Yes, we did and I said to myself, “I wish this was you, Charlotte”.] When that happened I just wanted to run and grab you before you walked out that door. I just wanted to GRAB you and HUG you and BEG you to not go. Please, don’t do this. Why didn’t I? It breaks my heart thinking about that now. Why didn’t I follow my instincts? Why? Because I thought you’d be mad at me for interfering. That the hug wouldn’t make a difference. Would it have stopped you?”

(Sidney is definitely dropping a tear now.) “I don’t know...coming from you? Maybe? Yeah? That would have at least made me pause.” [Charlotte, I “felt” that hug and it DID make a difference. I didn’t do anything that night.]

“Sidney, you’ve got to be damn lonely and think little of yourself to have behavior like that.”

“I didn’t sleep with them Charlotte.”

“Oh, Jesus Q. Sidney! You expect me to believe that? I’m NOT dumb! STOP it, will you? You’re insulting me now! I have brothers, remember and YOU have a reputation that FAAAAR precedes you. Even your friends expressed concern to me! You showed no reference to sound, unselfish thinking when I was there. None!” (Charlotte glares, mercilessly.)

“Charlotte, I swear to you I stopped before anything happened. I literally thought of you and I couldn’t go through with it. That very night we looked at each other. Nothing happened and neither did anything after that." 

"And the other two...were they before or after the eye contact deal?" 

"They were AFTER. You saw me. We didn't make eye contact but I could tell you were watching me. I couldn't do it. I went through the motions but in the end I thought of you and I just couldn't do it. I loved you from that very first day, Charlotte, I just...didn't know how to handle that. I've never truly loved anyone before. I don't know how to convince you, Charlotte, but you walked into my office that day and my life started to change. I've made some really, REALLY bad choices. I'm sorry for that."

[WHAAAT? Is that really true? That would be nice if that were true but Sidney...dozens upon DOZENS of women? You're killing me right now!] 

"You certainly have been referring to that fact but that's not what others say.”

"What others?"

"That doesn't matter. Let's just say your behavior calls you out to make a fool of yourself and others DEFINITELY notice! They wanted to be sure I knew. WHY?? I don't know! They acted like we were a couple and I should know. Sidney, were you telling people we were a couple?"

[I may have joked about something in the office. Compleeeeely joking! God is THAT where this stuff is coming from? Would they spread some rumor like that?] 

"Look. Just like all of this I didn't pay much attention. I had no say over you and the choices you were making. I tried to gently tease you and suggested better choices but I didn't get involved in this at all. It's heartbreaking for one! I didn't pay attention then but now, after the fact, it's upsetting! Why!? I thought we are considering more. Why did you tell me you stopped when you hadn't ? 

“I did! I don't know how to prove that now!? Charlotte, I was nothing to you at that time. Remember? You weren’t even acknowledging my expressed interest in you.”

“For God’s sake, Sidney. DON’T use ME as an excuse for YOUR promiscuous behavior. With or without me on the continent, YOU are solely responsible for your OWN actions. Don’t make ANY of this about me!”(Charlotte is fuming!)

“I understand.” [She nailed me. No more needs said.]

“And don’t make things worse by LYING, Sidney!”

[Oh, shit...I don't like where she is going with this.]

“I’m waiting…”

“For what?”

“Sidney, please be kind enough to tell the truth.” [She has tears coming down but isn’t showing her usual amount of fury. Calm before the storm?]

“Sidney I didn’t go out with you guys all the time and you didn’t go out with the others all the time. This happened on nights I wasn't there. Right? When none of us were there! 

"I don't know your sources. They're wrong." 

"Look, I know I have no right to 'claim' you for those six weeks and I'm out of line asking about anything before my arrival but something just isn’t right. I know it! It's more that you lied about it! Currently! Like two days ago! Again you said you abstained because you were so in love with me. You didn't and that's not the truth. That's a current lie. Right? 

“Look, I’m not fooling myself on any of this at ALL! I was insignificant in your life then but I'm not NOW and you want me to know about your celibacy during that time. You've made a POINT of it! Recently! I just want to know and I’m hoping you care and respect me enough to tell me the truth. You've pulled me in to this lie. Make it right.” 

First off, the lie is that you're "insignificant" to me. You have ALWAYS been "significant" to me, Charlotte. I recognized it then and NOW...? I'm so in love with you, Charlotte. C'mon. Surely you know that. I don't know who your informants are but I believe the other two were actually the ones you saw AFTER I turned away the first. I couldn't look at you in the office and do that. And I mean that Charlotte, the other stuff was all before I met you.”

“When then?” 

“The night before I arrived? Ohhhh...I see. THAT’S probably the truth! You actually mean the first day I met you too, don’t you? (Sidney looks away.) DON’T you? Because in your mind I had just been introduced to you and we hadn’t started working together. Right? But wasn’t that the very day you said you loved me from first sight and you knew your world would change forever and I would be in it? Really, Sidney? Did it ‘change’ all that much?”

[Oh, God. She can stand up to any injustice, I swear. People warned me!? How does she think on her feet like that? I’m definitely 10 steps behind!]

”Are those the two times? Is that what they’re referring to? I saw you leave with two others, Sidney!” 

Charlotte, I have to interject here that I'm not going to be able to answer everything. Some of this stuff I have to back off and think of things before I answer. You know me, Charlotte, that's what's going on with me here. Right? You are just a better communicator. I'm not avoiding. I WILL and want to discuss things I'm just needing to think things through. I don't want to make you MORE angry. Right?

"Yes. I do know you. [Literally 10 steps behind, always.] Please keep up. You don't have to answer--I get it! I do. Just observe then. I can call out injustice VERY quickly. So you mean BOTH nights, right? Before AND after I arrived? That’s a LIE then from what you said earlier, correct? [Yes but...no. Off by one day...I guess.] You know, Sidney...understand THIS! I will NOT tolerate lying! I can take the truth so please do that instead of lying to me. I find lying to be an ultimate form of disrespect. I will never do that to you Sidney. I just want to be treated with the same respect and consideration. Okay?

“Sooo, how many more?”

[Here is the fury. I already know how relentless and determined she can get. This is truly scaring me now. I'm scared she has already decided we're over. Please don't do that, Charlotte. We're "this" close.]

“Charlotte...I was confused. I didn’t know what was happening. I was scared.”

“But, not the night BEFORE I came. Right? That was a typical night for you? Sidney, I just want to understand how this happens. Yup! I want to truuuu-ly TORTURE myself!

“Let me get this straight...you answered those special first-time-ever emotions that you supposedly took so to heart, where you said you knew you wanted to marry me, by getting into bed with someone? Really? What will that ever do? How the HELLLL does that ease your ‘fear’? Are you in HIGH school? COLLEGE? NOOO! Sidney, you’re 13 years beyond that! You’re THIR-TY-FIVE years OLD! WHAT. THE. HELL!?? I just don’t get that!

“So, did you lie to me just then, Sidney? YES!!” (There’s no eye contact now. Sidney won’t dare look up.). Look, it’s not like I can change any of it so why don’t you just tell the truth?!”

[I deserve this. I KNOW! I deserve every part of this. She has a right to be mad. Yes, I lied. No such thing as being "a day off".]

“So is that the pace, Sidney? Two nights in a row….a week to 10 day later, another one or two? Or is it more women and more frequently? Is that what it was? More and more frequent? Can you see where I’m coming from? 

"4,6,8...(?)...TEN WOMEN A MONTH, TIMES x 12 months! That's 48-120 WOMEN, Sidney!!? Even 2 women a month that's TWEN-TY FOUR WOMEN A YEAR! (Charlotte breaks down crying.) For how many YEARS?? [I’m not that good a Christian, I swear. This is literally impossible for me to understand. How am I supposed to forgive if I don't understand?] Is that riiiight? Is that the pace? Are those the numbers we're looking at here?"

(Sidney lowers his head and sighs.)

[You say it like that and I'm ashamed. I have no words and no excuses. I've been selfish.]

“So, is THAT the pace, Sidney? Give me a 2 week average!

[I'd be guessing. I don't really know. It never was a notch in the bed post kind of thing. Awwww, shit! What did I think? This would never catch up to me?]

“DONT LIE TO ME!! (She snaps!) I swear to God, I’ll know soon enough!! You’re a gorgeous man, Sidney. Who would turn you down?” No one! Ever! Right?! Have you ever been turned down?”

Sidney looks up at Charlotte and bows his head again and shakes his head “no.” 

“Well, at least you’re telling the truth by your body language right now.”

“God, I feel so bad doing this, Sidney! This isn't ME!? I don’t normally totally lose it! I’m ashamed of myself right now. But, maybe my regrettable moment right now is actually going to help you more?”

“Look, I’m just not a passive person when it comes to this stuff--to morals. To people using or hurting each other! THAT’S NOT FAIR!! That’s not just and it's very self-serving all the way around. Please see that this is our future, Sidney! I know most of this behavior was all before me entering the picture--except for those two elusive trysts. You did NOT turn away those women because of me and I RESENT you lying! I REALLY resent you lying to me! That hurts so much, Sidney!”

"But Charlotte, I'm not lying." 

"Shit, Sidney, we could debate that all day. That isn't really the biggest issue, is it?? The REAL issue is the 50+ women...? C'mon. I am physically SICK over this, Sidney! 

“I understand, it’s not my place to comment on your behavior prior to our trip home but don't I have a right to say anything? Sidney, I love you so much and I am the lifetime partner. Right? Or am I? I shouldn't speak for you. I don’t know, frankly!? Things have GOT to be better than THIS! I wish you would have shared all this with me. Come to me on your own. I’m hurt and I’m confused and I’m MAD! I'm GOD-DAMNED MAD and I’m UPSET! Can you understand why I’m upset? Can you understand where I'm coming from? It's really about the QUANTITY! I just can't wrap my head around that. It's not those particular 6 weeks, its ALLLL of this! The whoooole picture. Does that make sense?"

[I don’t like the way this is playing out.] “Charlotte, how could I share this with you?” 

“I don’t KNOW? Just be honest! I don’t know, Sidney, but that was YOUR responsibility to figure that out! Here's the question--did you think this would never come UP!? Get! Real! No sins of the soul go unaccounted for--another life lesson! Just speak from the heart! Isn’t that what you always say? Am I your lifetime partner or not? Do I deserve to know? I just wish I hadn’t “discovered” this. This SUCKS! I’m heartbroken!” (Charlotte is fully crying now. She's walking around in a 4' circle--wiping tears as fast as she can.) 

“And furthermore, I’m downplaying RED FLAGS here and that NEVER works. Lying is a big red flag, Sidney!! So, am I the lifetime partner? I don’t know. NOT if you’re going to go around LYING to me! I’m literally sick to my stomach right now.

“I don’t know if I can do this again, Sidney. I really don’t. You know where I’m coming from! You know my story. I have misgivings! I did with Steve! This SCARES me! Iiii know where I’m coming from! I’m not ready to enter into any relationship that looks anything like my last one. Does that make sense? Would YOU do that?

“You know my sexual history. I’m just having a REALLY hard time with all this. How does one person do all that? Gahhh! Your body is a sacred temple, Sidney! Yours is a literal specimen of perfection! That body was never meant to just be GIVEN away--MUL-TI-PLE times, no less!? I swear to God, Sidney, that prude inside me is DYING right now!! The images are HORRIFIC!”

Charlotte reflects on the levity of her statement. “OH, shit! I can’t do this! This feels very wrong. Charlotte throws her arms up. I’ve gotta walk away a minute. That just pushed me over the edge. Do NOT follow me! Do NOT come get me!”

Charlotte walks several feet away and hugs herself by crossing her arms. She cries. And then she cries some more. [I really question what to do here. I truly struggle with situations involving lust. Lust scares me more than any other of the 7 and here is my boyfriend knee-deep in this ugly, ugly behavior. I don’t know if I can do this. I really don’t.]

Charlotte walks 50 yards or so more and sits on someone’s front sidewalk steps. (They haven’t even gotten to the lake yet.) Sidney can’t see her. She’s gone out of view.

Charlotte has a conversation with herself…[Why? Why does something so perfect get ruined? I begged you, God to not “take it away from me” the relationship I was building with Sidney. I was so excited to meet him and welcome him into my life. Now I’m battling with the same old disappointments. The same old concessions that Iiii’m supposed to make, because of someone else’s behavior. Why can’t something just be GOOD in my life? I’ve never loved a man like I love him. But is that enough?]

Sidney is leaning against someone’s retaining wall and stands up when Charlotte comes back.

“I’m sorry.”

“Thank you for that. There needs to be more substance to that apology. I know you like to think things through. I understand.”

[There’s no amount of apologizing that will fix this. I need to DO something.]

Charlotte has walked back with completely wet gloves where she’s been wiping the tears from her face. 

[Given the emotional importance of this, to ME not necessarily others, I could very likely fail...]

“Tell me WHY everything good in my life gets ruined? I didn’t expect this!! SIDNEY, this is so hard to imagine! Are you so addicted to sex?”

“SHIIIIIIIT!” (A revelation?) Charlotte walks feet away and then turns and starts crying again while Sidney is standing there with a confused, helpless look on his face. 

“Is that what this is, Sidney? An addiction?” Charlotte looks him squarely in the eye with intensity and says, “Hey, where I’m from you call it like it is. Is it an addiction? You need to tell the truth! I need to know on this!”

“Charlotte, please don’t even go there. This is no-win questioning. Isn’t it?”

“Sidney, this is a no-win situation, isn’t it?” (She glares.) 

“I wish I could stop crying long enough to breathe. See, now, isn’t this stupid!? I’m letting anger and jealousy get the best of ME and I look like a stark raving bitch! I feel stupid because I know better. I could make the most regrettable decision of my life right now. Sidney, be kind enough to tell me. I’m not going to judge. I’m not a judgemental person. I just need to know.”

“Charlotte, no. Please believe me. I FOR SURE cannot put my thoughts together right this minute to answer to your satisfaction. Can you please give me time to organize my thoughts? I just don’t want to mis-communicate with you and potentially make everything worse. I don’t think off the top of my head like you do. I cannot make things as clear as you do. You're very clear and straightforward about your communicating. I've always said that.”

[Is she talking about me when she says "regrettable decision"? Please no. We are "this" close, Charlotte!] Sidney starts to move toward her.

“Stop, Sidney! I don’t want you near me right now and I can’t have you mess everything up for me here. I need to think!”

[What does she mean by that?]

“God, I’m just so PISSED OFF at you!” She stomps her foot and talks with her hands. “And see, here Iiii go, I am feeding into the sin (or temptation or enemy or whatever you wish to call it!) of anger! I identify this as jealousy AND anger! BOTH of which lured YOU in the other night, right? I swear, this is one of the most difficult combinations. This behavior is detrimental all the way around, isn’t it, Sidney?" (Charlotte just starts crying harder and bends over and puts her hands on her knees like a runner after a race.)

“And the forgiveness piece? SHIT, that’s YEARS away. Don’t even MENTION it for a decade! (Charlotte does a push-away wave to Sidney.) You ruined something sacred to me, Sidney!”  
`  


“Charlotte, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying I am so F**king PISSED at you right now, Sidney!! And I don’t know what to do. THAT’S what I’m saying. This behavior is killing me! I aDORE your body—yet many people have been all over it! That’s so sad. You’re WORTH so much more than that!

“Argh! Okay. I need to ‘fess up here. I need to be honest with myself--and you! I need to identify the specifics of my sin/temptation/enemy. So, "jealousy" and "anger". Okay, here we go...

#1). I’m JEALOUS of all the women that were able to touch you before me. I would have wished to be at the top of a VERY SHORT list. 

#2) I’m ANGRY there ARE so many women!! That seems very irresponsible and dangerous for YOU! And potentially dangerous for me. I don’t like the repercussions of that choice being forced upon ME. You know they say, “when you sleep with someone you sleep with their partners, too.” Thanks, Sidney! I want to THROW . UP!!! As a thoughtful person I have ONE partner for you. That SHIT isn’t fair! I fell in love with an insincere person? Oh, God. Please help me understand. Why, Sidney?

"#3). I’m JEALOUS of the fact that they are more experienced than I am and can therefore please you more

[Oh, Charlotte. Please…]

#4). I’m JEALOUS of the fact that they knew the relationship was pretty shallow to begin with and they can walk away more easily than I can

[What do you mean by that, Charlotte?]

#5). I’m ANGRY...that I ever had to discover this in the first place. I would have done better being told. [As a person who practiced safe and considerate sexual relations, this is my WORST nightmare!]

#6) I’m ANGRY to be put in this position AGAIN! I’m the person that makes the relationship “work” and makes the relationship move along and makes us be accountable. To do what I have to do to keep things honest even if it requires me to be confrontational. I don’t WANT to be confrontational and left so wanting. Why aren’t YOU putting in the effort? Why should I even have to confront LYING! Like I said...I call it like it is! I really resent being put in that position, Sidney.

#7) I’m ANGRY AND sad that my time with you, Sidney, has been compromised. I literally have considered our intimate time a blessing. Get this, I actually allowed myself to feel like I DESERVED a sacred place given the hell I’ve been through! It was peaceful in your arms. It was SAFE. I reeeaaally need ‘SAFE', Sidney!! YOU know that! And now that’s gone! You probably have been easily comparing me with any number of those women, right?“ 

[Charlotte? No. My thoughts are with you only.] 

#8) I’m ANGRY that YOUR behavior reeeeally doesn’t help my confidence! Thanks for that, Sidney! I’m already insecure enough and you know what? I’m going to think about that for years? I’m already nervous and scared without THAT being flung in my face. 

[Oh, shit. I get it. I really do!]

#9). I’m ANGRY because I’m behaving this way and that I feel I should do so in order to protect myself and to be heard—do you understand what I’m saying? PRO-TECT myself?? Really?? I’ve had to quite literally PROTECT myself so much in the past, Sidney! I thought I had put that behind me.

“#10). I’m ANGRY about my behavior, and how it plays into all this. I’m not being kind to myself or you. That’s because I am INCREDIBLY hurt, Sidney. I mean seriously, can’t I just have SOMETHING for myself that's nice and not have it ‘taken away from me’? I begged God to not take my relationship with you away. Just once? Can I get and KEEP something nice and pure.” [There she goes again. What do you mean our relationship is taken AWAY? What is actually going on here?] 

That’s all I’m asking. I thought I had it. I truly was not giving your background much thought. I was enjoying “discovering YOU bit by bit” and what I assumed about your past didn’t matter--but I was obviously skewed by the sheer QUANTITY and the reality of it all.”

[I can see that. There is so much pain there.]

“My actions here, right now with you, are getting the best of me. And that literally kills a bit of my true self each time I do that. This isn’t the kind of person I want to be, Sidney. Does any of this make sense?”

Sidney nods. [Yes. I’ve needed to hear this.] 

“Acknowledge the unhealthy temptation that’s trying to creep in and rise above it—win the battle, Sidney! Iiiiii am NOT winning this battle. Clearly.” (Charlotte breaks down and cries.)

“Oh, shit. Am I even making sense right now?” 

“Yes.” (Sidney nods.) [You’re scaring me to death, Charlotte! What are you trying to tell me? I did none of that validating and acknowledgement and I need the chance to tell you I’m sorry. Where is this leading? We’ve come this far! Do you think that, too? We’re so close. Don’t tell me you’re sending me away.”]

“This is why I’m talking to you tonight and I apologize for MYYY behavior right now--I’m being self-indulgent. Look, Sidney, if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s if you don’t speak up there is no chance of change in the other person’s behavior and thus affecting the entire relationship. I call this Relationships 101: 

If you don’t speak up when something bothers you about the other person or the situation, things WILL NOT change. If you do say something, at least there’s a CHANCE for change. If you DON’T say something you have yourself to blame for the outcome. Because saying nothing is a GUARANTEE that nothing will change? Remember, the other person can’t read your mind. Remember that. Conversely, praise and appreciate all that is right and good. That’s my baseline advice for all new couples and I‘ve needed to heed that advice myself right now. I’m TRYING to do that the best I know how!”

“I failed today, Sidney and I’m sorry. We’re put on this earth to HELP others! And to love each other. I didn’t even think I would talk about this stuff. It’s just eating me up inside, Sidney, and I didn’t know what to do about it! Do you understand what I’m saying? 

”Yes. I understand and I’m trying to find the right thing to say. I KNOW you’re very hurt and I caused that pain. I’m sorry.”

“Maybe I did help you by failing and that is my good thing to come out of all of this??? I don’t know…”

[Okay. This is breaking my heart. She’s obviously VERY hurt and has really not wanted to say anything. She’s following her own advice--you gotta speak up. Iiiiii am such an idiot! A selfish jerk! Is she telling me I already lost her? I can-not read this! I need to understand this message, however it’s delivered.] 

“Please keep listening. I don’t mean to turn you off but there’s a little more.”

“No, it’s all good.”

“I have one piece of my ANGER I haven’t claimed and I think this is the biggest reason for my reaction. I need to own it; I have been morally compromised before and I don’t want to be again by your past conduct. I know what that’s like and I’m not sure I can do it again. Immoral discretion is a personal choice. I make good choices! Let’s ‘call it like it is!’ I think long-term on EVERY significant decision. I just do and I can be very righteous about that. Iiiiii don’t like things thrust upon me just by being associated with you, Sidney. Does that make sense? I think I’m most angry because it reminds me when I was morally made a FOOL of, essentially, before. “Steve made a girlfriend have an abortion, that semester he quit school, and didn’t even bother to tell me that until AFTER we were married. Newlywed. First month of marriage. THRILLED to be starting a new life together--full of promise and hope.” 

“Remember me telling about how he put his fist through a mirror and (drywall) wall beyond that? THAT was the argument. (Charlotte is crying harder again.) He basically trapped me. He KNEW I wouldn’t tolerate that! He also knew I wanted to be married and start a family more than anything so I wouldn’t leave. He knew I wouldn’t leave out of humiliation—how could I explain why I would leave to others? What did I know? I was 21! I hadn’t lived enough life to know it was okay to leave under those circumstances!? I just didn’t want to let go of my dream so I held on...and it wasn’t worth it. If someone compromises your being like that, it’s simply not worth it. I just didn’t know.

“Oh my God, Sidney! Please tell me that’s not the case for you!?”

“God no!”

“You have to be HONEST with me! I can’t take a lie again. I can take the truth! I’ve done that before.”

“No. And I mean ‘NO!’ ”

“Charlotte, again, don’t compare me to Steve. Talk about poor character!? I HATE him more and more! You know that, right!? Everywhere I turn the guy has done something else to diminish you. I understand where your anger is coming from now. My sexual misconduct coupled with Steve’s immorality and abusive behavior...I get it now.”

“I had a right to say something, Sidney! Right? To stand up for myself. [Right?] He’d pull those violent, over reacting outbursts just to shock and intimidate me so I would back down. I’ve shared some of those things with you! YOU know where that violence and intimidation manifested in my marriage. ALL of these things here, between the two of us, makes me ANGRY! And SCARED! How many times do I talk about being scared? I'm just not able to separate things out anymore, Sidney. It sucks! It all sucks!

It's all psychologically aggressive to me; we’ve talked aROUND aggressiveness? We’ve never addressed any part of that. We need to. I'm feeling the need to "protect" myself in more ways than one. This is ALL TOO MUCH for me right now, Sidney! I’m feeling the same anxiety. I just never thought I'd turn and head backward, ya’ know? I thought my life with you would only move me forward. Up and away from all of that sh**.

"Where do I go with all this, Sidney? 

“There are just some things I don’t want to learn, you know? I certainly don’t want to learn them OVER and OVER!? Like nothing beautiful lasts. Like I don’t deserve it or something. It’s all so exhausting!”

“Charlotte, can I hug you now?”

“Yes. Please.”

Sidney pulls her into a bear hug. She just sobs. [God, you’re the only one who can help here. What? I’m talking to God now? Really? I don’t believe this. I don’t believe HER! Truth and vulnerability in its rawest form. I’m hurting seeing her like this and knowing it’s my fault.]

“I’m sorry! Please believe me. (He kisses her forehead and holds her tight.) I’m sooo sorry, Charlotte. Please forgive me. Please don’t make me go.”

“I don’t know what to say, Sidney. This behavior breaks my heart—more so for you. How LONELY, Sidney! You must have felt very alone even with someone there…? Ugh! God! I can’t stand it! Breaks my heart! I can't handle that, and I'm not going to pretend I can. Like you, I need to put my thoughts together.” (She pushes backward gently off of Sidney’s chest and steps away.)

“I just need to breathe. I cry this hard and my breathing shuts down, practically.” (Charlotte stands up straight, pulls back her shoulders and walks around breathing deeply.) 

Suddenly Charlotte turns and walks swiftly back to Sidney and just throws her arms around him and hugs him tightly. In his ear she says, “This is the hug I wish I would have given. (Sidney starts to cry.). Please don’t go. Please don’t walk out that door. 

“‘I wish I could have stopped you, Sidney.” (Charlotte squeezes tightly again.) 

Sidney wraps his arms around her torso and says. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“I know. Thank you for saying that.”

“I love you sooo much, Sidney. Don’t ever forget that.” (She puts her hand on his cheek and makes eye contact.)

Charlotte and Sidney exchange a sweet small kiss.

“I love you, Charlotte.”

“I know you do.” Charlotte smiles at Sidney.

“Are you ready to walk home?”

“No, I need to walk by myself. I need to settle my heart and get some quiet prayer time in to figure out how I’m going to handle this. This is very hard and it’s a personal decision. I need this time. I hope you understand. 

“Sidney, does what I said make sense? Do you understand at least part of it?”

“Charlotte, give me a chance to write things down. Yes. That’s the most valuable life lesson I’ll ever learn, probably....and it came from you.”

“Thank you for saying that. I’ll be home in 45 minutes or so. I have my phone with me. Don’t worry. Okay?"

“I’m so sorry.“

“I know that, Sidney. I just need to sort some things out. We’ll talk when I get back. I love you so much. I’m just at that ‘sad place’ right now, you know?” (Charlotte leans over to kiss his cheek and squeezes his hand.)

____________________________

Charlotte’s front door opens right into the living room where Sidney is sitting in the armchair, waiting. Weasley is curled up in the middle of the rug between them.

“Heey?”

“Heeyy”

“No. Don’t get up. Just stay there.” (Sidney sits back down. Very tense.)

[I can’t have him touch me. I need to think. I can’t think AT ALL when he touches me!]

(Charlotte takes a seat on the couch.) “You know, I once asked my mom how you know when you’ve found the right one. She told me, ‘When you can’t imagine your life without them then that’s who you need to be with.’ (Charlotte is choking down tears and trying to still stay focused.) Sidney, I’m crazy jealous, I’m incredibly angry and I’m more hurt than I think I’ve ever been by someone, but I can’t imagine my life without you. (Sidney and Charlotte tentatively smile at each other.) 

(Sidney sighs and sits up.) “I’ve dreamed about you since I was 13 years old. At 21 I was convinced you didn’t exist and I settled. At 26 I started dreaming of you again, and this time I prayed.

“I believe in the power of prayer, Sidney, and I believe that’s why you are finally here. The circumstances and events that brought us together and brought us to this moment are beyond reason. Right? It’s craaazy! Isn’t it?

“That's how I know you are the person for me. I love you, more than I’ve loved anyone. That’s my reality. I’m not willing to give you up.” (She’s staying strong but the tears are slowly and silently falling. She and Sidney stare at each other across the room.)

Sidney takes a big sigh. “I’m sorry, Charlotte, in so many ways.”

Charlotte raises her hand to stop him from talking. “I know you are, Sidney. Thank you for that. I’d like to come back to that, if I may?

“Right now...crying so much has exhausted me. I need to rest. Sidney will you come rest with me? And hold me? I want you near me.”

“Really?”

“Yes” (She reaches out her hand and smiles.) 

“Okay! Yes, I’d love to!”

The two of them lay in spoon position. [ I don’t know that anything else feels more loving than spooning with someone. I love being held by you, Sidney.] “I’m going to fall asleep.”

“It’s all good. Just rest.”  
‘  
A few minutes later Sidney asks, “Was that your ‘mad’?"

“I’d say that was my damn near ‘FURIOUS’!”

“We haven’t resolved this, Sidney. I’m just too tired right now.”

“I know.”

“The rage is done, I think. But that much hurt? It’s going to take time. Thank you for holding me.”

After a few moments comes a whisper, “Myyyy pleasure…?“ (With a quiet giggle.)

Charlotte rolls her eyes and sharply shoves an elbow into Sidney’s ribs. Sidney groans. (HER turn to giggle.)

(1) YouTube - "The Seven Deadly Sins" by The School Of Life


	33. "What's That Like...?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's New Year's Eve! Cheers! 
> 
> Sidney and Charlotte are working things out. They've "found their way back to each other" if you're one who likes that silly/sentimental saying. Sidney is really forgiving. He basically feels like he needed to hear those things and most importantly--he knows he needs the life lesson. Sidney learns another lesson...
> 
> Again, sorry if I insult anyone with political talk!

Sidney is in the kitchen starting up the Keurig.

[I have to go talk to him. I need to apologize. I need to tell him how much I love him and want to be with him. I never know what to say when I harm others. Maybe I should cut to the chase; "Sidney, I'm a stark raving bitch with a broken heart. Please forgive me. Ugh"!]

Charlotte walks into the kitchen and comes up from behind Sidney and wraps her arms around his waist and lays her head on his back.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Thank you for spooning with me last night.”

“Humph! I think I need to thank YOU!”

[He’ll take every opportunity to embarrass me. Little shit.] Charlotte slaps his back and says, “Can you EVER let an opportunity go by and not embarrass me?" 

Sidney turns around and grabs her around the waist and pulls her in. “No.” He laughs fully. He puts his hands around her face and gives a sweet kiss and grabs her waist again.

Charlotte puts her hands on his chest and starts rubbing. “Sidney, I’m sorry for last night. I made it out to be that you’re the whole problem and I certainly play into this as well. I pretty much warned you and people told you I won't lose an argument about injustice. Well, you saw me in action."

They stand and stare at each other and then smile.

"This has 'injustice' written all over it--as Iiii see it for myself. I'm sorry I'm so intense but I'm passionate about people getting treated fairly. ‘Do unto others’ type of thing.

“As you know, my marriage SUCKED and I felt constantly subjected to injustice. Also, I picked up bad habits in terms of arguing and communicating when under distress. This morning that was the first thing I recalled. I'm sorry for being emotionally and verbally abusive toward you. I can't believe I act that way--it's humbing to look back on that. That's not my place and I really regret that behavior. I'm sorry if you felt compromised.

Sidney leans in and rests his forehead on Charlotte's. “I appreciate what you're saying, Charlotte. (He stands up) I accept your apology. (He plays with her hair and then pushes it behind her shoulders.) You told me last night this was not resolved yet. You also said it would take time to get over that amount of hurt. Right? I agree!! I don't expect to quickly fix something this important.

“Listen, I love you. I understand where you're coming from. You got a lot of shit in your background. (They giggle.). We BOTH do! Right? [My “pile”, speaking personally, is especially deep. Ugh!] (Charlotte nods) I never thought we'd be let off the hook. Between the two of us? I want to play that roulette s**t table! (Charlotte giggles and looks down.)

“I still need to put my thoughts together. I went from chair to bed last night, so I’d like to have time to do that. Then we can talk more. I want and need to do that. I owe you an apology a thousand times over, Charlotte. I know THAT! All of this is good.

“Thank you. (He kisses her forehead and pulls Charlotte in for a hug.) Thank you.”

Charlotte walks into snuggle position and says, "I appreciate and love you. Very much." (Sidney laughs.). "Ditto." Sidney gives a squeeze. [For ONCE I'm not crying! Woo-hoo!]

Charlotte pulls back and just looks at him. “So does this mean we're going to be okay? That we'll "find our way back to each other" as the idealistic romantics say?

Charlotte has a smile on her face but is smiling with a questioning look.

“I believe we already have. You’re speaking metaphorically, right?”

Charlotte steps back, “Gah, Sidney! Seriously??

Sidney gets a big laugh out of that.

“I think I need to leave this room.”

[C'mon I have a hard enough time with intimacy. I just needed comforting. I would NEVER do that with Steve. He'd be on the couch! I actually still want you near me and touching me. I had to at least try it, right? Ugh! Never. He never gives me a break. He knows this, of all things, makes me want to run and hide! Maybe I should talk to him about this, too?] 

Sidney grabs her arm as she’s walking out the door.

“No, don’t. Come back. Sorry. I'm sorry.” (Charlotte scowls.)

Charlotte puts her arms up around Sidney’s neck and looks Sidney right in the eye. The sunlight in the kitchen offers a rare opportunity to really see into those dark eyes.

[My God, I can get used to this.]

[Look how green those eyes are. I could get used to this.]

They smile at each other. “Penny for your thoughts, Ms Heywood.”

“Do you want to know what I’m really thinking? Somewhat embarrassing you asked just now. Here’s the truth, I get embarrassed about intimacy and I wish you wouldn't give me such a hard time. You know what happened between us. Can you just let that be? That's first. (Charlotte looks at him dead on.) (No acknowledgement.) “As promised. Truth: I’m also thinking about how the children in my dreams have always had beautiful dark eyes. I wasn’t sure where they were coming from. ( Steve had blue eyes--not to keep bringing him up! That’s just for example.). My mind is flying everywhere! It just does and you know that! I love that I'm looking into those dark eyes now. Imagine that?! That's kinda crazy, ya' know? I’m picturing waking up with you every day and having those dark eyes on the pillow next to mine. Standing in the kitchen with you and talking over coffee in the morning. Driving someplace with car seats in the back. It's all a big fat dream. Like most of my thoughts are.

“Getting waaay ahead of myself. We aren’t married! No babies from across the ocean! Right?”

“Charlotte, I'm sorry if I tease you too much. It's not that I'm trying to embarrass you. It's more of a compliment, really. You are amazing. I mean that. (Charlotte immediately lowers her head). [Oh, Gawwwd! Please. This is painful. Gah!] I know you don't like to talk about things so I do it in the form of teasing. It's just the two of us. It's only me.” 

"Can you cut it back? I'm just new into this? I'm self-conscious. I'm dealing with a lot of ‘OTHER’ stuff regarding our intimate times. (No acknowledgement.). C’mon, Sidney! Are you doing that on purpose? Sidney?” 

Sidney reacts when she speaks his name, “No, I’m thinking of you and how I’ve hurt you.I’m just putting some pieces together. (Sidney makes eye contact.) You know you DID say a lot last night. Right? You unloaded and let me have it. Not that I didn’t deserve it! It’s that I’m putting together pieces of what you said last night. I’m so sorry I hurt you, Charlotte. (He takes her hand and looks to HER for an expression.

“I’m hurting and incredibly pissed at you! [I cannot cry! Charlotte!] The visual!?? Oh! God! I’m trying to stop my mind before I become paralyzed. It’s so hard for me, Sidney! Can you not see that?

"I get it—some of it. The rest I need time or need to clarify with you. You're right about all of it. I love you, you know. Know that being with you is the highlight of my day. [For her that's a huge step. A huge thing for her to admit and won’t be verbalized, I’m sure.] I'm sorry. I’m truly sorry, Charlotte. (The two stare at one another for a long time.)

[I want to put you in a choke hold, Sidney Parker, until you...what, Charlotte? (He’s not your brother.) How is anything he says now going to make a difference? It’s not. I need action behind that apology.]

”If you don't mind, can I back up to what you said about 'babies across the ocean?'" Would you want children now, Charlotte?”

[Oh, I thought he would latch on to that. He did.]

“I don’t know. That’s (air quotes) ‘negotiable’.”

Sidney raises his eyebrows and looks closely at her.

“There are too many variables right now, I think. It’s not that I want to postpone things on purpose. It’s more, I don’t see becoming a mother in the middle of chaos. I also have to consider the bipolar and how that plays into things. Would I need to prepare for pregnancy? Change meds? What if you got stuck over there for some reason? I need you HERE! I need you to rub my back, massage my feet and tell me I don’t look as ugly as I feel. Could you stand me as a whiny whale woman?” (Charlotte giggles)

“Sure! Especially if it takes longer to get pregnant! That would be worth it!”

“Uhh! Okay. That’s it! You’re punishing me for last night or something. I don’t know what your deal is!?”

“Why would I PUNISH you for last night, hmmm? You mean spank?"

“Oh, Sidney...sweet Jesus!” [ I gotta get outta hear without losing it. He's getting crude now. Funny! I will say.]

Charlotte is pulling on her coat and grabbing her keys.

“Do NOT do this to me all day!” She points a finger at Sidney.

“Awwwwm, c’mon!”

“No! Stop it! [I have to get out of here before I laugh and that encourages you. Damn that was good!] Shame on you, Sidney!”

"Damn, that was GOOD!"

She walks out the door and yells back, “Paybacks are hell, Parker!”

______________________________________

“We have a tradition at our house at New Year’s time. It’s called the “Top Ten” list and what you do is tell the person what you love about them. Now...because you’re a rookie, I’ll allow 15. We let Mary have 15 every year. She gets too flustered otherwise."

___________________________________________

“I'm fixing pretty much the only thing I know to cook. Javiaria. You bring the wine and relax."

"This sounds too good to be TRUE!! My man in an apron ruling the kitchen. Yup! I’ll leave that apron joke alone.” (And she giggles.)

“I don’t mind following through on that one…? Oh, and by the way since I rule, what’s your safe word?"

Charlotte, who is sitting on the rug in front of the fireplace just tilts and leans over sideways. AHHH! And just lets out a belly laugh. Sidney loves that reaction.

“I think I might go with a comic hero’s name. Thor!”

“NO! STOP! (She puts her index finger toward him.) And she puts her fingers in her ears, “la, la, la, la”. I can NOT go there, with you!”

They both laugh.

“Soooo, what are we going to do with ourselves tonight?" Charlotte asks coyly.

“Mmmmm, I don’t know. We’ll come up with something, right? Jello bath, maybe?”

(Charlotte gasps and jumps up.) “Oh my God, Sidney! You’re embarrassing the SHIT out of me right now!” She glares and heads to her office.

“Hey! Come back! I’ll behave!” [Maybe.].

Meanwhile, Charlotte is in her office. Hand over her mouth trying not to laugh hysterically. Just the visual of them together in her claw foot tub makes her weak. [Jello? Whaaaat? Sweet Mother Mary protect me from my mind.] She stands there, rolls her eyes a few dozen times and purses her lips so as not to smile and heads out of the room.

“Do NOT do that to me again!“ (Charlotte holds up a finger and points it to him.) “That’s not fair.” (She’s trying not to smile.)

“Hey, I warned you. Said I could go there, so….” (He shrugs his shoulders and sends her a devious smile.)

“Jesus Q., Sidney! So not fair!” She sits down, drinks some wine and starts shaking her head “no” and smiling. [No. No. No. No. Is this for me talking about sexual favors?] Pretty soon she’s laughing a belly laugh. Sidney is just loving this!

____________________________

“Okay. Do you want to go first or should I?”

“I can’t wait! I’ll have YOU go first!”

“Alright, in no particular order, here are 20 reasons why I love you:"

"TWENTY?? And you called ME the rookie!" (Sidney smiles and raises his eyebrows.)

\- "You have song lyrics filling up 80% of your brain and you like to sing. I LOVE to hear your voice.

\- Your face lights up when you’re near water

\- You’re steadfast in your beliefs and quality of character

\- You are just-minded [And seriously. No lie. I wrote that before last night!]

\- You’re the best cryer I know. (Eyebrows up!) [I have to agree to that.] (Nods.)

\- You are loyal

\- World’s Greatest Kisser!

[I have to agree to that, too!]

\- You love Christmas and all that is within it and about it. You also know 100% of the words to all Christmas songs

\- You’re a problem solver

\- You’re persistent and resilient

\- You’re a great driver—I don’t know about your underwear but I’d like to!

\- You talk to yourself, constantly!

\- One just knows when they are loved by you because you love deeply and true. Like a blanket put over one’s shoulders. [Oh, my God! Thank you for that!]

\- You laugh out loud whole heartedly to things on tv or the radio. You also talk or shout BACK. Like just last night,

“God help us ALL! This is like having Jesse Ventura as your Governor but he has a national forum as the President! Please! Someone! I’m begging you! Make America not embarrassing again!"/p>

“Did I say that?”

“YUP! Jesse Ventura must have been a joke?”

“Longest 4 years...Those two remind me of each other. He was a past professional wrestler; he wore a fringed leather jacket and headbands like he was still in costume. Long hair. And he had this big booming voice like he was announcing the next wrestling match! You never knew what was coming out of his mouth! Completely embarrassing! He did't represent the class of Minnesota residents at all. Made us look foolish. Ugh! It sucked!"

\- "You make time to read, write or research every day. That motivates me to do better.

\- You’ve got the world’s greatest snoring cat

\- You love educational tv and publications. You’re constantly seeking out knowledge.

\- You are nice to the people who serve you; waitresses, store clerks, the postman, etc. That tells me a lot about your character.

\- I love that you gave me a chance

\- I love you because I always have. I just needed to find you.”

Yup! Charlotte is crying. Through tears…”Thank you.” She gives Sidney a sweet peck of a kiss.

“Okay. Here are mine. Sidney, I love you because:

\- You hold me when I cry (they look at each other)

\- You’re the epitome of a Renaissance man, in England. I’m sure you would blow away an American male

\- You “get me” or at least try to—I am forever grateful for the effort

\- You’re persistent

\- You’re willing to take a risk

\- You’re respectful

\- You hold my hand during difficult times. So endearing. No one has ever done that before..

\- You’re resourceful. You found your way here.

\- You practice what you preach.

\- Time and time again you exhibit beauty inside and out

\- GOOD kisser but not great like me ;-)

\- You have a great sense of humor so you’re so fun to be with

\- You’re my best friend

\- You do PDA tastefully, I love that!

\- You’re so British it makes me swoon

\- I‘ve never been loved in the way you love me, thank you”

Charlotte is sitting on the rug and Sidney is sitting on the ottoman. Charlotte raises up on her knees and grabs Sidney’s collar.

“Thank you for that.”

“Thank YOU.” She kisses Sidney. Tame by Charlotte standards. “Did you shut your burner off?"

"Yes. I just happened to remember that.” Charlotte giggles and delivers a much more passionate kiss—by Charlotte standards. "Come with me." Charlotte pulls Sidney down to her on the rug…”

_________________________________________

“Well, Parker. That was damn near edible!”

Sidney giggles. “Really? Why, thank you. I think.”

“I do think I need to wash it down with another glass of wine, however.” (Charlotte winks and holds out her glass.)

“May I Mademoiselle? That's about as much French as I know. Can you teach me how to say 'where is the bathroom?' I can do that one in Spanish! You're impressed, I know."

Charlotte giggles. “Mais oui! S'il vous plait, Monsieur. Merci beau coup.”

“Happy New Year, Sidney! Here’s to US! To our first year together. I want to be with you this time next year and many more to follow. I love you soo much!”

“Here’s to US, Charlotte! May our next year be as good, or better than, the end of this one. I love you.”

“Cheers!”

“Cheers!” (Clinking glasses.)

“Charlotte, I thought of a Coke/Pepsi question that I wanted to ask you."

"Okay. I’m curious.”

“What was your favorite toy as a child and as an adult?”

“I don’t know how to answer the childhood one. I think the safe bet is my kitty, Nefertiti. “Ti”. I absolutely LOVED that cat. Siamese with Queen Nefertiti's profile. Just beautiful! My soulmate. She lived to 21.”

“I would say my favorite adult toy is my pool. I love that thing! Floating in there is a huge attitude adjustment for me. Hi noon. Full sun. Freaking amazing! Big memory from childhood and our family pool. God, what would I do without water therapy? “ (Charlotte giggles.)

“So….interesting. My childhood toy was my dog, Max. English setter. Spastic but fun. A great hunting dog for my dad. We lived on a small acreage so we had run of the place. He was “my” dog. You know how they always choose someone who is their primary person? Well, that was me.”

“Adult toy would be…? I don’t know. My car? If I’d get that Desert Sled running I can see that being a great toy!”

“So, why did you ask that?”

“I don’t know. Since we did that Coke/Pepsi thing questions pop up in my mind now and then. I felt like that one was innocent enough I could ask it.”

“So, you have NOT so innocent of ones to ask?”

“Hmm, no.”

“Sidney! What? You have some indecent questions or what?” (Charlotte giggles)

“No. Maybe a little harder to answer…?”

“Ohhhh. Hold that thought. Charlotte scurries off to the kitchen. I have dessert for us”.

“You do?”

“Yes. An American tradition--especially in my family. Charlotte drops all the ingredients in Sidney’s lap. Marshmallows, chocolate and graham crackers.”

“ Oh, I love these!”

“S’mores.”

“Yes. That’s right.”

“This is great!! Good answer!”

“Since we have a fire in the fireplace I thought this would be fun.”

“Absolutely! Do you want me to make yours?”

“Yes. Please. NO burnt spots! “ (Charlotte smiles sweetly at Sidney and he returns the gesture.) [Honestly, I’m living someone else’s life. Stuff like this just does NOT happen to me. Did that gorgeous man just smile at me? Is he actually roasting my marshmallow? Is he really in my living room? Do I really get to lay next to him tonight and wake up with him tomorrow? Someone...PINCH - AND - SLAP ME!"

“Is it okay if I ask another question?”

“I have to back up first. Is that 'desert sled' a Triumph motorcycle?”

“Yes. How did you know THAT?”

“A TR6 Trophy? Early 60’s? “The Great Escape”?”

“Yes. How the HELL do you KNOW that? “

(Charlotte looks out the top of her eyes.) “Really?”

“Ah, well. I guess it figures you would know!”

“Where is this bike, Mr. Parker?”

“It’s Grandad Michael’s. It’s in his carriage.”

“You’re really not making that up?”

“I’m really not making that up.’

“Sidney, that’s not “if” that’s WHEN you get it running.”

“Okay. Good! I take it I have your permission to ride it?”

“Now THAT I did NOT say! (Charlotte giggles) We’ll revisit this once you get it running.”

“I have a few things I want to ask. Would it be okay if I ask you about your Bipolar?”

“Yes. I guess.”

‘It seems like you’re doing well with things. Are you? “

“Yes. For the most part and no, I fake it very well. You know, 'fake it until you make it believable.' Fake it and get out of those parking and speeding tickets.” (Sidney looks at her sincerely. He does his wince smile).

“I dread when I slip any further down the pole of depression than my normal “4” on the scale. That’s 1-10. “10” being full blown hypomanic. I'd like to be daily at at least 5 but that doesn't ever happen. If there's a hypomanic episode I get to 6 or 7. I tend to always have a low level of depression. “The cloud”, I call it that hangs above my head. Like Eyeore! I can go from there on down the pole. And ironically enough, it’s not an 'if', it’s a 'when'. Oh, 'lucky me'! "People with bipolar (type 2) tend to be on the depressive side of things. Sometimes I get so low I can’t pull myself up. I just have to wait for my body chemistry to change and I never know how long that will be. Sometimes it’s a day, sometimes it’s weeks. A few times its taken months. No amount of medication is going to fix that when it happens. I just have to wait and try and not upset myself by setting unrealistic expectations. Like, just start pulling back on things and not making commitments which is NOT my personality. You don't want to introduce new meds because what you had was working. If you do...? Could screw up the effectiveness of what you had going for you and lengthen the recovery. Damned if you do. Damned if you don't. I just try to not take a ton of medicine."

“So, tell me what your symptoms are.”

“Well, a couple are consistent. When I start needing less sleep or I screw up my normal sleep pattern I generally will need you to observe me. Sometimes nothing happens. Other times…? How hypomania is manifested doesn’t always have a consistent pattern. I feel incredibly happy though, especially after being down so low for so long!”

“If things start going southward, check my medicine. I’m likely missing doses of my medicine. That’s the first thing that needs addressed. I must have the medicine to stabilize. That’s how fine-tuned it is.”/p>

“When I’m hypomanic I start taking on a lot of extra things and expect to get them done. Like organize my 8' x 5' x 4' pantry! It's amazing when done! I start making a lot of lists! Things that never got done while I was sick or 'down', I call it; I think I'm going to get ALL of it accomplished now. Not! The hypomania wears off long before progress is made on that list. Remember the guys from college mentioning that I "could always get it done somehow." No sleep! Which usually triggers hypomania in me. 

"When I'm hypomanic it's like my brain is on overdrive. Imagine THAT, Sidney! OVERDRiVE!? (Charlotte smiles and giggles softly to him.) I can't shut it off which perpetuates my inability to sleep. A vicious cycle but I'm creative! Oh, BOY am I creative!! My best stuff happens when I''m in a state of hypomania! Remember Van Gogh and Emily Dickenson? Tortured lives but incredible talent. I can very much relate to the torture.”

“Can we NOT talk about this right now? My self-esteem can’t fight the battle today. I’m acting today, Sidney. Could you tell?”

“No. Not at all!”

“You might want to ask me at times if I'm really doing okay or acting. I'm good at it but it sucks. It takes a lot of energy for me to play the game. I get exhausted. Remember being at the Chatauqua pavilion and I told you how exhausted I was? That's because I was trying to get through a difficult day. Difficult trip. The Mom thing sucked. And boy was I ACTING! Literally, on stage, and also in front of friends and family. Some don't even know. Others want me to appear to be doing well because they would worry otherwise. Acting. Lying. All of it. My second skin. I hate it. It’s not like me to be dishonest—in any part of my personality. Anyway, that’s why I’m not up for this. Its been a rather trying day? Trying 24 hours!!! “ (Charlotte smiles at Sidney.) [I feel so hurt and defeated about last night but how do I tell you that? Further, how could I ever tell you without violently breaking down in tears?? That is not a good state for me. You would be startled. I hate being that weak.]

“Of course! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to start something?”

“I like the days where I don’t have to remember and compensate (as much) for it. The days that feel closer to what was 'normal' for me, in my 'before' world.” (Charlotte slips away from the conversation and starts looking at the fire. Her whole face falls.)

“Charlotte. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. Please. Just ignore it. We don’t have to talk about this.”

Charlotte sits so still and then tears just come from her eyes. It’s weird. Her eyes don’t fill up and yet the tears fall. They fall from her eyes, taking turns. One by one. Rolling down, streaking her face. The left eye, then the right. They come rolling down her cheeks--she's 'silently' crying. If you weren’t looking at her you’d never know she was crying. [Is this how she "fakes" it? She goes off and cries where no one notices?]

“Oh, God. I’m so sorry. Please don’t cry.” (Sidney reaches out and holds her hands.)

Charlotte turns her face toward Sidney and she gives a slight smile. “I just wish I didn’t have to think about it, you know? I always have to. At least twice a day for sure, when I have to take my medicine! You can literally say, not a day goes by that I’m not reminded I’m not like other people. Just add that to my already lengthy list of issues. Yeah, makes me feel so proud of myself, ya' know?” (Charlotte sighs deeply.) 

“Charlotte, I…”

“I just wish I didn’t have to talk about this at ALL. With you--with anyone! It’s humiliating! I already have a lot of issues, let’s face it. This one is...well, waaay beYOND an “issue” now, isn’t it? It's a deal-breaker for most. For friends not just significant others.”

“Not for me. I’m sorry I said anything. Really”.

“Like many things in my life, I didn’t do anything to cause this yet, here it is. Deal with it, Charlotte! Kind of like last night, Sidney. I didn’t do anything to deserve that [except fall in love with you] but yet I have to deal with it. Pay for someone else's bullshit behavior! 'Make it work, Charlotte! Pat-pat on the head. Run along now, Charlotte!'" (Charlotte looks over at Sidney and he has a stunned expression.) I don't deserve that, Sidney. I didn't DO that. How can I deal with your shit when I can barely handle my day-to-day?" (Here come those silent tears.) 

[I didn't think that through. I didn't know! I'm asking more than she can give right now.]

"I don’t want to have to talk about mental illness at all but that’s not realistic once you're diagnosed. What do other people do that don’t have to deal with this stuff? Sidney, what’s that like?”

“Oh, God, Charlotte, I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“What I wouldn’t give to have all that TIME B-A-C-K! Time taking medication and trying to soothe and comfort my soul after having to take 3 different meds--10 pills a day! I never even took Tylenol or Advil before! Time I spend feeling sick because of my meds, time spent actually getting sick and vomiting because of my meds. Time to recover from the vomiting can shoot a whole day or keep me up at night. Time spent at doctor appointments, picking up prescriptions, counselor appointments and getting bloodwork done. Time waiting for changes to happen, and secretly inside you're experiencing a state of complete panic when you've been down for a while. Ennndddless amounts of time spent trying to make deals with God.

"What’s that like? All that time? Freed up and not having to think or worry about all this? What’s that like to be well, Sidney? I’m so sick of being ‘sick.’”

“Charlotte. [What the HELL do I say to THIS! Way to go Sidney!] I can’t even beGIN to understand what you go through on a daily basis. It certainly wasn’t right of me to bring this up and I will never do it again. In the future, when you want to share, I’m always here to listen. I won’t ever do this to you again, Charlotte, I promise. I’m so sorry. We were having such a nice time and I blew it for you. Forgive me.”

“It’s okay.” [There she goes with that “okay” shit again. It’s NOT okay for me to do that!]

“It’s NOT okay, Charlotte, and you have every right to be mad at me.

"I want you to know that you having bipolar disorder is absolutely NOT a big deal to me, that’s why I asked that question in the first place! I’m basically blind to it. I don’t see symptoms of any kind with you. You seem to do very well. I was asking more in terms of caring for you. Like, what do I need to watch for and what do I do to help you?”

Charlotte smiles and reaches for his hand. “Yeah. I know that. First thing you’ll need to know is how to recognize when I’m acting. Essentially lying. Learn and then recognize when I’m faking that it’s alright and under control when I’m actually dying inside. [I do that a lot Sidney. Like almost every day.] (Charlotte smiles to Sidney.) We’ll work on this, I’m just not up for this today. Just like for everyone, some days are harder than others. With bipolar all of that mood swinging is intensified. Depression is intensified. ‘Hard’ for those with bipolar is harder than for most. I’m already down. Do you understand? I’ve learned I have to preserve my energy. Hold back at times, so there’s some reserve there when I really need it--when it all goes to hell. And it WILL! That’s inevitable for Type 2, like me. And with no pattern or logic to it. (They smile at one another. Sidney pulls her over and she puts her head on his shoulder.)

"I'm so sorry, Charlotte. (They stare at the fire in silence.) Please don’t say it’s 'okay.' It isn’t.”

“Wanna make it up to me?”

“Can I? Please?”

“Two things...this badass woman owes you a slug--THAT was a real Scott or Jason move right there.”

“Oh, God. I know, Charlotte. I’m sooo sorry. You can certainly slug me TWICE!”

“Ohhh, I really WANT to, Sidney, beLIEVE me!“ [I’m acting right now, Sidney. Can you not see that? I’m really not doing well today but I don’t dare tell YOU that. You’ll think you caused it and you haven’t. It’s just been one of “‘those’ days. I'm struggling--significanty. So do I tell you...? No. Maybe another day. I’ve pulled us down enough for one night.”]

“Can you play guitar for me?”

“Absolutely!”

“What do you want to hear?”

“First. Parker. How well do you play? I mean, really? What kind of performing did you do? Tell the truth.”

“Well, let’s see... I sang for weddings."

"WHAT!? Don’t you think you could have mentioned that when Iiii did? Sidney, you’re pissing me OFF right now!“

“And I was in a cover band during University.”

“Dammit, Sidney! Do you realize how many nights I missed out on this because you weren’t sharing truthfully with me? And this means so much to me! I absolutely LOVE it! A dreamy guy singing to me in front of the fire?? C’mon now. That’s true love stuff.“ (She giggles.)

“Charlotte, I had no idea you had a guitar.”

“Otherwise, you would have told the truth? You could have mentioned the wedding thing when it came up! Why?”

"I don’t know...now that I know it completes your list, I would have! (He smiles a little s**t grin.) I didn’t know it was a big deal."

“C’mon. Sidney. I don’t know ANY girl who wouldn’t be completely enchanted.”

“Enchanted?”

“Yes, Enchanted. Siri, define enchanted. ‘Fill someone with great delight. Charm.’ “

“Enchanted it is then! (Sidney lifts his eyebrows to her.) I'm going to enchant you, I guess! You teach me something every day, Charlotte! You amaze me." (Sidney smiles and winks at Charlotte.)

"I do have something worked up for you."

“Really?”

“Yes. And you know it, of course. I like the words.”

"In My Life"  
Performed by The Beatles

There are places I remember  
All my life, though some have changed  
Some forever, not for better  
Some have gone and some remain  
All these places had their moments  
With lovers and friends I still can recall  
Some are dead and some are living  
In my life, I’ve loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers  
There is no one compares with you  
And these memories lose their meaning  
When I think of love as something new

Though I know I’ll never lose affection  
For people and things that went before  
I know I’ll often stop and think about them  
In my life, I'll love you more

Though I know I’ll never lose affection  
For people and things that went before  
I know I’ll often stop and think about them  
In my life, I’ll love you more

In my life...I’ll love you more

“Ohhhh, thank you, Sidney!” (Charlotte is clapping and then leans in and gives him a kiss.) “Thank you sooo much! Okay, so like I have to just sit here, stare at you and absorb this moment. I want to take it all in.”

Charlotte starts to giggle and so does Sidney. Sidney plays through the song again. (No vocals)

“I’m sorry. I know this is weird but seriously, Sidney, I have dreamed about this for so long. I have prayed for you.”

Sidney lays down the guitar and goes to Charlotte. He rubs her cheek, “I know. I have no doubt that you did.”

“Thank you for coming after me, Sidney.” (Now nose to nose)

“You’re welcome. Thank you for letting me in.”

“Do you ever wonder where you would be otherwise? You know what I’d be doing tonight?”

“Hmmm?”

“I would probably take a bath, drink wine, eat a microwave meal, drink more wine (giggle) and when the ball dropped I’d listen to Same Auld Lang Syne and shut the tv and lights off and roll over. I’d make some kind of promise to myself that I’ll have a better year than last and I’d go to sleep believing that was possible. In less than 60 days it’s always quite evident that it’s not going to be a better year; the bipolar disrupts my daily life and so on it goes. It IS going to be a better year this year, isn’t it?”

“No way it can’t be. I can’t wait.”

“Are you really here? I swear, I’m waiting to wake up...that’s how unreal and impossible this is to me. (Charlotte reaches out to touch Sidney’s cheek.) Are you really here?”

“Yes. I’m here. I love you, Charlotte.”

“Oh, my God. I do love you, too. Ahhhhh! (Charlotte does a quiet groupie yell and shakes her hands by her head.) This is just cuhraaaazy!”

[This is EXACTLY why I need and want her in my life. No one makes me smile more.]

“This is so a-maaa-zing! I love it! I have been so blessed, Sidney. (Charlotte leans in to give an enticing kiss.) Would you like to start the new year a new way?”

“Yes. Please.”

“Me too.”

“But FIRST, I want to dance with you on the bridge again?”

“What? My, my, my….such a sentimental guy. Who knew?”

"Will you?"

“Of COURSE! That would be awesome!”

____________________

Here they were. Down at the bridge. No candles this time but still very romantic. There’s a street light that sheds some dim light—just like in Sanditon. Sidney and Charlotte get out of the car and are just amazed that this night there’s a little snow falling. Big flakes like out of a picture book...It.couldn’t be any more perfect.

“Look Sidney. Isn’t this PERFECT?! Like out of a children’s book. I LOVE it! Thanks for thinking of this!”

“Yes. It’s a perfect night.”

They stand in the shadows and spend time sweet talking and kissing.

Sidney says, “So Charlotte. May I have this dance?” He does a couple key strokes on his phone and up comes “Unchained Melody” by The Righteous Brothers.

Yup! Charlotte starts to cry. “Awww, you KNOW I love this song! [That’s so sweet. How can I not cry? My God! He's blowing me away right now!]

Sidney meanwhile is listening and living the words:

“Unchained Melody”  
Performed by The Righteous Brothers

Oh, my love. My darling.  
I’ve hungered for your touch  
a long lonely time.

And times goes by so slowly  
And time can do so much  
Are you still mine?

I need your love.  
Iii need your love.  
God speed your love to me.

Lonely rivers flow to the sea, to the sea  
To the open arms of the sea  
Lonely rivers sigh, wait for me, wait for me  
I’ll be coming home

Wait for me

The song ends and they share a passionate kiss. When they pull apart. Charlotte is wiping her tears off of her cheeks and just staring at Sidney. [Wow. That’s all I can say. Wow. I love this man so much.] She’s finding his eyes with a sharing smile. [I will not cry. I will not cry.] “Thank you, so much.” His eyes are glazed over and he’s stroking his beard and running his fingers through his hair.

Charlotte looks puzzled at Sidney.

Suddenly Sidney grabs her hand, and just droppps down on one knee, and asks her to marry him.

“Charlotte Heywood...I want to spend my life with you. You’re my best friend and I love you more than I even know yet? Will you share your life with me?“ He’s really starting to cry. Charlotte just looks at him and can hardly believe what she’s seeing. The big, tough guy that can joke and tease like no other is being serious and crying?

Charlotte just looks at him, the tears are falling down his cheeks and she bends down on Sidney’s level and wipes each cheek and kisses each cheek and then kisses his lips and says, “YES! Of course. Yes!” When they stand Sidney wraps around her back and whispers “thank you, thank you” in her ear. She just stands in place, shocked (!), holding him until she feels his breathing calm down.

When they pull back he’s wiping his tears and rubbing his stubble beard. He looks at her and cracks a smile. “That got me.” Charlotte laughs and smiles. "‘Bout time you cried! Did you notice? I did pretty good, huh?” ( He laughs, wipes his face again and says, “Yeah.” And looks a tad bit embarrassed.)

He nods and sniffles and looks down.

She turns him to her and says,”Sidney Parker, that just made me love you more and I would not have thought that possible. I love you sooo much. Don’t ever doubt that. Okay? This is going to be hard but don’t ever doubt that of me. I’m waiting. I’m going nowhere.”

Sidney sniffles a little more and reaches out to Charlotte. “I have something for you, and he pulls out a little ring. “I figure we can pick out a diamond later but I wanted you to have it. I don’t know if you can see it, It’s a twisted platinum band with small leaf engravings. There are some diamonds but small. The best thing is it’s engraved”:

From Lambert to May  
August 9, 1928

“What year was your house built?”

“Whaaaaat?” Charlotte just reaches up and throws her arms around his neck. “I love you so much, Sidney.” And she kisses his cheek. “How and where did you get that?”

“My mum gave it to me a few years ago and said it could be for my wife some day. It’s my great grandmother’s wedding ring.”

“What??? (Now Charlotte starts to cry.) [Watch out.] You brought it WITH you?”

“Yeah, and he sniffles. “I was really hoping I would be able to use it.” He glazes over and sniffles again and takes a step out. “Uhhh! Excuse me.” Sidney walks across the bridge and leans against the wall. He needs a breather. Charlotte decides to get some Kleenex for him out of the car. After several minutes he walks back to Charlotte and says, “Sorry. I’m just so happy." [I can’t seem to keep it together.] Charlotte holds out the toilet paper she had in the car. From behind her back she presents it to Sidney. That was the levity they needed. Sidney started really laughing. “Leave it to you.” (He raises up the tp.) Charlotte buries her head in his chest and wraps her arms around his torso.

“Okay, the ring...yeah, I need to focus, Sidney jokes. It’s pretty small and we can’t size it because of the design but I thought you could maybe wear it on a chain or something until we can get something official.”

“I have really small fingers, Sidney’”says Charlotte. She sticks her fingers out on her left hand.

Sidney slides it on her left ring finger and it’s a PERFECT fit. (Size 4.5)

“It fits perfectly!” Charlotte whispers and Sidney takes a gasp and glazes over again, for real. “I’m sorry. I’m just really happy." He pulls her in tight and says, “Wow. That’s just crazy. (Sidney holds up the tp.) Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He puts his arms over her shoulders and pulls her into his chest. “It’s just that I never thought I’d find you. I’ve been looking for you for a long, long time. It’s amazing you’re finally here.”

Charlotte reaches up and puts her hands on each side of his face and says, “I love, Sidney Parker “and she lays a kiss on him like she did in Sanditon, including taking more liberties with rubbing his chest. Sidney was so shocked it took him a minute to fully embrace her. Charlotte leaned back from him and he said ,

”Oh sure. Just go and pull out your best weapon.” Charlotte leans back into him and giggles. Sidney says, “You know, I am just as shocked right now as I was that night.” And they both laugh.

“Thank you.” They assume snuggle position..

“Believe me, myyyy pleasure!” and she smiles.


	34. "Tomorrow 4pm"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> January 1st - These two are exhausting! So much is happening with Sidney's revelation and the fact that he's leaving day after tomorrow. What's happening tomorrow at 4 pm?

Sidney is drinking coffee and going over things in his mind about last night.  
[Sidney, she said “yes!” She said “YES” to you! You’re bringing someone along the path with you!]

“Heey.”

“Heeyy.”

Charlotte comes walking across the kitchen in that silky short nightgown and robe. [Now THAT’S a fond memory.]

“‘Good morning, my future husband.” Charlotte giggles. She puts her arms around his neck then she lays a beautiful “I love you” kiss on him.

Sidney wraps his arms tightly around her torso. “You have no idea how wonderful that is to hear. I can’t wait to marry you, Charlotte. I want nothing more.”

Sidney pulls her in and holds the side of her head against his heart. ‘I love you soo much. Can we please be done with the fear you’re going to take off at the last minute?” [That was rather desperate, Sidney. Well, I ammm desperate. It’s not like that couldn’t happen.]

Nice nightgown, by the way? 

“Oh, I knew you would have to say something. Shoulda guessed!” (She swats at his arm.)

“Ever notice how silk rubbing silk is so incredibly sensual?”

[I’m going to compleeetely ignore that and carry on. Not skippin’ a beat.]

“I’ll never leave you. YOU would be the one running away, I would imagine.” 

[Aaaand?]

“So...what do you want to do today? Please, let’s try and keep it ‘normal’. Fairly 'normal'. Our other discussions have been really difficuIt, don’t you think?” [More like a nightmare! Let’s call it like it is!] I know we still have things to discuss but maybe between “Gunsmoke” and the “Biography” channel. Is that okay? 

“Yeah, sure.” [Aaaaaand?]

“I thought a daytime walk today. You game? Am I burning you out on all these walks? I love having a walking mate but you don’t have to come if you don’t want.”

“No. It’s fine. I love doing that with you.” [Among other things. She’s playing this so well. Damn.]

“Okay, well a bite of breakfast and maybe head out? You had breakfast yet?”

“No.”

Charlotte opens the fridge and bends down to look at the options. “Okay. Well, don’t make comments like that unless you’re ready to follow thru.” [Wait for it…]

Charlotte is peering over the top of the refrigerator door, watching for a response. [I think he checked out when I mentioned fixing breakfast.]

[Aha! There we are! Thank you, Ms. Heywood. I LOVE it! Volley into my court!] (Sidney takes another drink of coffee,) “I’m sorry. What’d you say? Eggs? Yeah, that sounds fine to me.”

Charlotte stands up and shuts the door of the fridge. She leans her arm against the fridge with the other hand on her hip.

Sidney takes another sip of coffee and sets the cup down quickly. He tries a fast reach out for Charlotte and she giggles, dodges and runs into the dining room behind the table. [That girl’s got some moves! She dodges like a boxer! That’s having brothers for ya’!] They do ring-around-the-table a few times with massive grins on their faces.

“By the way...this is another thing I never lose.” (Punctuated with a little s**t grin.)

[She’s good. Yup, pret-ty good. I forget about all her brotherly training.]

“Might as well give up.” 

[She’s referring to the other night. Yeah, I don’t see her losing much at all, frankly. She’s smart. She’s strategic. Didn’t someone say that about her? Who was it that said that?]

Another go around on the table…

“So you’re giving up?”

“No.” Sidney makes one more round of the table and Charlotte stops. She waits for him to catch up and squeals.

LOTS of giggling and LOTS of silk on silk!

__________________________________

Sidney stands up from the edge of the bed. He pulls on his jeans and zips and buttons them and turns around to face Charlotte who is still in the bed.

[Oh, my God. That chest gets me every time.]. Charlotte pulls the sheet up over her head and dives under.

"Whhaaaat are you doing?" Asks Sidney in a laugh.

"I’m sorry. I can’t. Gahhhh! Your chest is insane. Shiiit!"

"Charlotte?" 

[My own fiancé and I’m having a school girl moment! What the hell is wrong with me? You’d think I’d be over this stuff by now.]

Sidney crawls across the bed on his stomach to the edge of her sheet that she’s holding with both hands.

"Charlotte?"

"Yes." [Oh, shit. If he’s on the other side of this sheet with no shirt on, I’m done for!]

"Charlotte?"

[His face is near me.]

"Yes?"

"What are you doing?"

"Having a Charlotte moment. I guess." [What else do you call this idiocy?]

(Sidney laughs.) "And what is that, exactly?"

"I can’t believe how gorgeous you are and that I get to be with you. I don’t usually get to see you in the daylight. Your chest, It overwhelms me. Always has! God, I sound like such a school girl."

"Can I see you?"

"Do you have a shirt on?"

"Yes."

Charlotte pulls down her sheet and Sidney indeed does NOT have a shirt on!

"OhmyGod!" [I fell for that! Argh!]. The sheet goes flying back up to cover Charlotte’s face. She is now very embarrassed and flushed.

Sidney is belly-laughing over that! [THIS is why I love her! She tugs at my heart and I LOVE those “Charlotte moments!” What a good name for all of this]. He reaches up and pulls the sheet down slowly. Charlotte peaks out and says, “Heey.”

“Heeyy.”

(Charlotte has a small tear on the outer edge of her eyes.) “Those are happy tears. I’m just so happy to be with you, Sidney.” She smiles sweetly to him.

Sidney holds the side of her face and imagines this kiss in his head before he delivers it. [That’s what my instructor told me to do.]

Charlotte is speechless. [I think that’s his best kiss yet!] “Ohh, Sidney...”

Sidney IS pretty proud of himself. “We don’t have to be anywhere, do we?”

______________________________________ 

“Breakfast Of Cham-pi-ons!” Charlotte yells out from the kitchen. 

She puts her muscle man arms in the air. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Well, this is like the world’s most unhealthy breakfast, isn’t it? A&E (Iowa dairy) french onion dip, Frito’s scoop corn chips and a Dr. Pepper. Oh, Lordy, Lordy! I’m not 18 any more. I really should not be doing this. Not only is it unhealthy I don’t burn 3000 calories a day, any more, either.

“Breakfast Of Champions” refers to a cereal and their sales slogan they’ve had since I was a kid!! Wheaties. Just like it sounds. Flakes of wheat cereal. And it’s quite the honor to be chosen to be on the box. Olympic champions, winners of the World Series, etc.

“Anyway, my ‘breakfast of champions’ moment here is pretty ridiculous and I say that when I have made unhealthy choices for breakfast. But hey, I have to use up my imported dip before it goes bad. Want some? It’s sooo good, Sidney. I swear. There’s nothing like A&E dairy products, THAT’S one thing I miss about RO. Of all things. Dairy products.” 

“Mmmmm, okay. Now that is GOOD!”

“Yeah, right!? Ama-zing! Huh?? I swear, there’s nothing like it up here. Not even close! And no one can touch their chocolate milk--incredible! Did you try that? (Sidney shakes his head no.) You missed out. Here, you help me eat this.”

[See, now I look up at her and I see love, support and friendship. Completely innocent as to where our discussion needs to go. I don’t know how to get into this again with her today. I know she was trying to help me that night. Ahhhh! When she has a purpose….? Someone said that about her too, didn’t they? She takes on a cause like no other. It’s very clear that I am her “cause” and she wants the very best for me.]

“Help yourself, now! It needs eaten. Want a Dr. Pepper? “

“Doctor what?”

_________________________________

“Charlotte!” He walks into the kitchen. “What does it mean if Weasley is sleeping in the bathroom sink?”

“It means he wants to sleep in the sink!” (She smiles and winks.)

“Well, can I use the bathroom?”

“Of course! But since you’re at his height he likes to bat at you. For fun. He’s just playing. Well, at my height for sure. That didn’t come out right. You know what I mean.” 

“So, it’s okay if I use the bathroom?”

“Yes, but you may not get to wash your hands in there.” (Charlotte winks at Sidney.)

“I think he gets hot and likes the porcelain. It’s okay. He won’t hurt you, Sidney. He’s totally teasing. Besides, he loves you. He will just be ornery if anything.”

“This is the craziest cat! I LOVE him!”  
_____________________________

“I made one of your favorites for dinner!”

“I see that. Baked macaroni and cheese! I need to learn how to make it so I can have some back home.”

“Yes! Do let me know what else you would like…”

.”..before I leave?”

“Uhhh, yes. Before you leave." 

“Sidney, let’s go for a walk on the Minnehaha Parkway. It’s so beautiful! And you have your new coat to keep you warm! It snowed recently." [Charlotte when has it ever NOT snowed “recently”? Try ”currently” is more like it!] 

"It must be low 30’s. Do you want to go?”

“Absolutely! Good idea!”

Charlotte and Sidney hit the beautiful Parkway trail that has been covered with around 2” of snow. They’re the only ones out here so they’re making footprints in the snow as if it were a sandy beach.

Charlotte reaches over and grabs Sidney’s hand and they smile to one another. [I really like it when he holds my hand. I can count only two times when that happened in my marriage and that’s because I initiated it.] They walk along, swinging their hands and laughing. It is so wonderful to be together. No distractions.

“You look quite handsome in that coat, Mr. Parker.”

“Oh, yeah? Thank you.”

“Yes! Very handsome. We’re going to make a Minnesotan out of you yet!”

The next street is the bridge—on 12th Avenue. They walk and look at the creek which is flowing over ice. It’s beautiful. Dark. Looks like flowing ink. “I’m never going to forget this, Charlotte. What a special place.” He draws Charlotte in to hold her. They stand there with the snow lightly falling down. They both know what happens day after tomorrow. There’s silence between them. They are thinking about all that has happened here, on this bridge.

After several minutes they get back on the trail, heading west. “So, Charlotte, will you marry me?”

Charlotte giggles, “I already said yes!”

“I mean now, in a simple ceremony with your Pastor. It will be a legal ceremony, recognized by the State of Minnesota. With that we can qualify for a whole different Visa. We can do something ‘official’ with friends and family later. The Visa stuff can take 18-24 months. I just don’t want to leave without some kind of commitment.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’ve been checking...Remember that CR-1 Visa? The “spouse’s Visa”? I did some more research last night after you went to bed. It’s for those that didn’t intend to marry an American while visiting the US—which is our case.” [No intent to marry? I definitely WANTED to! But with you, Ms. Heywood, we both know that wanting and getting are two different things.] (Sidney smiles.)

I think I’d rather do that than the usual K-1 Fiancé Visa. It might take a little longer but it includes green card approval. I can arrive and be able to work immediately. The K-1 requires an additional 8 months once I’m here before I’m able to work.

As you know, Babs is a lawyer—he’ll be a great resource. We can travel back and forth. In fact, it’s encouraged! The more we see each other the better and more legitimate our union appears to the Embassy. We need to do things like combine finances and such. I could help you with your house payment!” [Why does he jump right to house payment? Did Scott say something? I’ll kill that traitor! He just cannot keep a secret!]

“I don’t want to lose you, Charlotte. I don’t want to be the one leaving without having a tie to you. I don’t want you to get away again. I couldn’t handle that again—it killed me to walk into Tom and Mary’s and your room was cleared out. I feel like this is the best choice for us. Do you understand what I’m saying? We need to be married before I leave. Do you think we can get ahold of Debbie?”

“Yes, but...whaaaaat?”

“Will you marry me? Please?”

Charlotte stops and searches his eyes. [Whaaat? Is this for real?] They are right near an open baseball field and very visible to the passing cars but that doesn’t matter. NOTHING matters! Charlotte jumps into his arms and says “YES”! Oh, my God! Yes! Can we do that?” 

Sidney lets her slide down but is kissing her along the way. Lips are still locked as she hits the ground and he still passionately kisses her. One motorist goes by and gives a “beep beep” horn honk. (They continue to kiss.). Another motorist goes by, honks and yells out the window, “kiss da’ girl” (Disney’s “Little Mermaid”) and Sidney fist pumps in the aIr. Charlotte pulls back and gives a simple kiss with a huge smile on her face.

“Sidney, we better move on before they call the Park Police on us!”

“There is such a thing?”

“Yes. There is. They’re kind of a joke but they’ll say we’re distracting the traffic or we’re a bad influence on children or who knows what?. Let’s go hit the woods down there. It’s very fun!” (She winks to Sidney.)

“Charlotte grabs Sidney’s hand and starts to giggle. “There are woods down there and a bridge with a paved path underneath over there that is very private.“ 

Charlotte and Sidney exchange smiles. They mouth to each other…

“I love you.” 

“I love you, too.”

_____________________

“Sidney we need to call our families and let them know the news!”

“I suppose. It’s 8:30 over there right now. Pretty perfect.”

“Well, should we start with your folks?”

“Yes. We can.”

“Sidney rings them for Facetime. I hope they know how to do this! Probably not--just watch!”

“Hello? Sidney? (The phone is upside down.) Am I doing this right? Can you see me?”

“Hi, Mum! Turn it over. You’re upside down right now.”

“Oh, there you are! Hello! (Mum waves) My goodness, is everything alright?”

“Yes. Most definitely. Is Dad there with you?”

“Yes.” 

“Can you go get him please?”

“Sidney what is this? Are you okay?”

“Yes! Very! Just go ahead and find Dad.”

“Okay. It will be just a minute.” (She sets the phone down but it falls to hardwood floors. Loudly.)

“Hello, Sidney? What’s wrong?”

“Well we wanted to call and let you both know that I’m marrying Charlotte tomorrow!”

“Really? Tomorrow? That didn’t take long!”

“All I needed to do was spend more time one on one with her and the guard went down. I was able to convince Charlotte I am worthy of her love.”

“We’re getting married at 4:00 tomorrow.”

“Well, honey that’s wonderful news! Isn’t it Phillip?”

“Yes! Of course! I didn’t know if you’d ever settle down, Sidney Michael! Good for you! I look forward to meeting her.”

“Mum, I gave Charlotte Gran’s ring as an engagement ring. It fit perfectly!”

(Mum puts her fingers up to her mouth.) “Oh, honey that’s wonderful! She would love that! (She’s getting teary eyed.) So you took it with you? That’s the sweetest thing, Sidney.”

“Yes. I was hoping I’d get a chance to use it.”

“That’s very romantic Sidney. Isn’t it Phillip?”

“Yes.” (mumble, mumble)

“I also get a cat out of the deal. His name is Weasley!”

“Oh, does he have red hair?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, that Charlotte. I love her already! Didn’t I tell you Sidney?”

“Yes. You did. You were right, Mum.”

“I’ll actually be home soon. I’m flying out day after tomorrow.”

“So soon?!”

“I’ve been here for 3 weeks, Mum.”

“Oh, I guess so. I was thinking honeymoon. I didn’t realize. Well, we’ll be happy to see you whenever. Is Charlotte coming with you?”

“No. Just me. We’ll get her over later in the year.”

“Okay. Well, I should let you go, honey. Thank you so much for calling and letting us know your good news! We’re so happy for you two. Aren’t we Phillip?”

“Yes. Yes, of course. We’ll think of you tomorrow at 11:00!”

“We love you so much, honey! Don’t we Phillip?”

“Of course, dear. Much love, Sidney!”

“Thank you. Love you both! Bye now.”

“Bye honey! Travel safe now!”

“Will do.”

______________________

“Hey, how ya’ doin’? Happy New Year!”

“Sidney!? Ahh! The same to you! What a surprise! Wait, what’s wrong? Why are you calling me?”

“I’m calling to tell you I’m getting married tomorrow at 4pm.”

“No WAY!? Are you serious?” (Babs lets out his delightful laugh.)

“Yes. Very serious.”

“Well, I’ll be damned! You did it Parker!? “ 

“Yes. Yes I did. I’m pretty proud of myself, too!“ (Sidney starts laughing and slaps his own back.) 

“How? What? Why?” Esther yells from the other room then she comes running in to share the screen with Babs. 

“Are you for real right now, Sidney? If this is a joke, I’ll kill you!”

“No joke. I’m getting married at 4:00 tomorrow and I couldn’t be more excited. She was meant for me so we’re making it official.” 

“I can’t believe THE Sidney Parker is going to settle down.” (Says Marcus Crowe from somewhere in the room.)

“Oh, I’m glad you’re there! Saves me a phone call.”

“Someone finally tamed you. Well, that’s good news, Sidney. Congratulations!”  


“Thank you! HEY! You’re next!!”

“Not if she’s a runner like Ms. Heywood—I don’t have the drive you do, Sidney. Obviously.”

“Oh, you’d be surprised what you will do for the right person, Marcus.” 

“Yeah, this is kinda surreal. I can’t wait to be done with the ceremony tomorrow. I think she’s done running. (Yelling to the other room.) You’re done running from me, aren’t you?”

“YES! (Charlotte jumps in and waves.) Hi, Guys!”

“Oh, Charlotte, I’m so excited for you! Look how happy they look, Mr. B!?”

“I see it. You two are ‘glowing’. He laughs a jolly laugh. “I can’t believe you did it, Sidney. You were so confident you would make this happen and you did. I’m happy for you, my friend.”

“Well, thank you. I won’t keep you guys, just wanted to share the news.”

“We’re sending our prayers your way. Enjoy your special day,” says Esther.

“Thank you! Oh, Daniel, I’ll be home day after tomorrow and I want to talk to you about this CR-1 Visa I’m wanting to get started. Allow some time for me that following day, will you?”

“Of, course.”

“Alright then. I’ll see you all soon.”

“Bye, guys!” (Charlotte waves.)

“Bye.”  
“Later.”  
“Much love!”

________________________

“Well, I’ll be damned. He did it!  
That man gets what he wants, that’s for sure.

Charlotte is PERFECT for him!”  
_______________________________________

“Now I get to call my family. How much do you want to bet they mention pregnancy?”

Laughing, “I think that’s a given from your brother, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, we’ll see. I think it will be my dad. All class that one is. Argh!”

“Well, Dad has a flip phone so let’s start with him.”

“It’s ringing. He is really hard of hearing. Sometimes I have to ring 2 or 3 times.”

“Oh! Hi, Dad! You answered right away.”

“Charlotte who?”

“Yup, it’s me.”

“What’s happenin’?”

“I’m getting married, Dad. Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?! What? You pregnant?”

(“Didn’t I tell you?”)

“No, Dad. You know better.” 

“Oh, that’s right. You’re my daughter that can’t do stuff like that. You’ll break out in hives.”

“Dad! Stop! Sidney is here.”

“Hello, Sidney.”

“Hello.”

“Are you sure you know what you’re getting into? She’s a handful! I’m warning you!” (Laughing)

“Thanks for that, Dad. Appreciate it.”

“Yes. I’m up for the challenge.”

“You’re a braver man than I. (Laughing.) So why is this happening so quickly?”

“Sidney is leaving day after tomorrow. We decided we want this done before he leaves. It’s not that quick, Dad. We worked together in England. That’s enough when you’ve been married before. I know what I DON’T want! I love him, Dad and Sidney now tells me that it was love at first sight for him It didn’t take us long once we got time together with no interruptions.”

“Is that right? Well, that’s going to be hard now, you know. Jason and Frederique had quite a time.”

“Yes. We know. By being married in the US we qualify for a different visa that hopefully will go quicker. We’ll see. It encourages frequent visits. That’s good.”

“Well, don’t get discouraged. It just takes time. You do it once and then you’re all done with that stuff. Which continent are you settling on?”

“Sidney is coming here.”

“Oh, well that’s good.” 

“Yes. He likes arctic winters.”

(Laughing) “Oh, is that right? Well good, ‘cause he’ll get one each year!”

“No, really he’s in love with my cat almost as much as me.”

(Laughing) “ Oh, you mean Weasley?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I can see that. He is a pretty neat cat. So good, you have a prize to bribe him back to Minnesota. You may need it.”

“Daaaad. Well, we have some more phone calls to make so I should get going. You were my first call, of course.”

“Of course I am!” 

“It’s tomorrow at 4:00, Dad. If you want to think of us.”

“4:00. Yes. I can do that.” 

“Say hello to Jenelle for me.”

“Will do.”

“Okay. Love ya’, Dad!”

“Yup, bye - bye.”

“Bye-bye.”

“No ‘love you’ back. I don’t know if I've ever heard that from him, actually.”

“Never??”

“By mistake once...? Maybe.”

“I’m sorry for that.”

“Yeah. Sucks kinda. We can discuss that in another year. I’m kind of burned out on that right now--as I’m sure you are.”

(They both smile.)

“I’m going to text Scott and let him know I want to Facetime. He’s always ‘so busy’, don’t you know. Do you want to Facetime Tom & Mary while I’m waiting for him to get back to me?”

“Yes. I can do that.”

________________________

“Hello, Tom!”

“Sidney! My goodness! Is everything alright?”

“Yes. Everything is fine. Is Mary home?”

“Yes.”

“Can you go get her? I need to talk to her as well.”

“Certainly. One minute while I go find her.”

“Hello, Sidney! Are you okay?”

“I’m very well, thank you.”

“Charlotte and I are calling to let you know we’re getting married!”

“Hello!” (Charlotte jumps into the screen and waves.)

“Married? Oh, that’s wonderful news. Isn’t it dear?”

“Great news! Congratulations! My, Sidney, this is fast, isn’t it?” 

“Not really, I knew I was going to marry her from the first day you introduced us. Remember us talking about that and you thought it was a bunch of _____. Well, it isn’t. It was very real. It just took Charlotte to allow me an opportunity to know her better. We pretty much brought our true feelings all together once we were here in the US. We both felt the same about each other all along. (Sidney squeezes Charlotte’s leg.) We’re friends!”

“When Is all this happening?” 

“We are planning a celebration with family and friends at some point but our wedding ceremony itself is tomorrow. 4:00pm.”

“Tomorrow??? Oh, my! That’s quick!”

“Well, I’m coming home day after tomorrow. We found a way to get this done before I have to leave. We just want to get this Visa process started as soon as possible and if we’re married here that could speed things up. All the paperwork needs to be filed there, in England. So, I don’t want to waste a day. Being apart is going to be very hard on us.”

“Of course it will. We’ll try and make that better, Sidney. Somehow.”

“Thank you, Mary. Now, Tom, I’m arriving day after tomorrow but I’m going to be jet lagged, big time. It’s a 7:00 pm plane so I will be completely backward. What I’m saying is I’ll be back to work the following day after I get in. Not sooner.”

“Yes. Yes, whatever you need. It’s our slow time. As you know.”

“Well, this is such wonderful news. We’re so excited for you both. Aren’t we dear? “ 

“Uhhh, yes. Yes we are.” (He clears his throat.)

“I’m so excited to have a new sister-in-law!”

“Me too, Mary! I am so blessed. I know that.“

“We have a few more calls to make. I, WE, just wanted to share the news.” 

“The ceremony is tomorrow at 4:00pm, our time, if you could just keep us in your thoughts and prayers.”

[Did I say, “prayers”?]

“Well of course we will! We love you two and we’re so happy for your union. Do enjoy! It’s such a special time.”

“Thank you! I’ll be seeing you all soon. I have lots of pictures to share of my time here.”

“Oh, I can’t wait!”

“Travel safely, Sidney!”

“Will do.”

“Byyyyye! Love you!” 

“Byyyye! Love you, too!”

_________________

“Well, I guarantee you Tom is piecing together my discussion about Visas and he’s wondering what I meant and where I’m going to end up.”

“I did lie a bit, Charlotte. You weren’t all keen on me initially and you didn’t already feel the same way. I hope it’s okay to twist the truth a little bit…? Big brother would have been very concerned had I not said something reassuring.”

“I understand. I’m sorry about that. I wish I would have felt more confident during that time. I just struggle with self-esteem issues, as you know. I’m just not…”

(Sidney places his index finger on her lips.) “Shhhhhhh.”

He leans over and gives her an, “I love(d) you anyway” type of kiss and they pull back and smile at one another.

“Thank you, Sidney.”

“Myyyyy pleasure.”  
___________________

“What do you think he means about the Visa, Mary? The 'we want to get this started and it’s easier if we are married over here?' Does that mean he’s moving to the United States? What do you think that means, Mary?”

“I don’t know, Tom but he’s not just your little brother. He’s a grown man with a wife now. He needs to make decisions on his own for the good of his own self and Charlotte. He has a relationship--a WIFE, that he has to take care of. Don’t you agree? He’s 35, Tom. I would imagine he would like a family within the next 5 years or so. He needs to make decisions about what’s best for them.”

“Yes. I suppose so.”

“There are planes, Tom.” (Mary giggles.)

“Yes. I know.”

“It all will be okay, Tom. Sidney is such a planner. You know that. He’ll make it work. Besides, we don’t know anything. Let’s just talk about it with him when he gets home.”

“Thank you, Mary. I know you’re right. I’ve always supported him. Even with that witch, Eliza Campion. He’s miles and miles ahead without her, that’s for sure. I hear she’s divorced after her second marriage and has two kids. I guess she’s gotten pretty fat.”

“Oh, Tom. Stop it now!” 

“I love, Charlotte. She’ll fit right in--she already DOES!”

“Yes, she does. Like it was meant to be. Come, let’s put the kids to bed.” 

___________________________

“What did your brother say?”

“He said, ‘Can it wait until later?’”

“I texted back. ‘Yes. But before 7:00’”  
He sent a thumbs up.

(Sidney snickers) “Okay, good. Anyone else to call?”

“Well, I’d like to call Aunt Pam but we would need Kari’s smart phone to Facetime so that would be this evening probably. I would need to get ahold of Kari. I’ll put a text in to her and see if she’s available. Sue, the same, it will have to be later this evening.”

“Come lay with me, Charlotte. This is starting to feel real, huh? That’s crazy!”

“Don’t you freak out on me, Sidney Parker.”

“No way! That all goes the other way around, you know that! I’m glad I’m driving tomorrow and there are childproof locks, right?”

“Yes there are! You’re too funny! I’m not leaving, Sidney. No reason to run anymore. I think you ‘get’ me, even in the f’d up state I’m in.”

“Do I ‘get’ you? I’m really trying. Do I love you more than anything I’ve experienced before? Yes! It’s overwhelming, really. I could cry half the time.”

Charlotte sits up on her elbow to see him. “What? I don’t see you losing it like I do all the time. What do you mean by that?” 

“I mean, I lay down at night. I revisit our day and there are times when you are so honest and innocent and authentic that it does get to me. I don’t know how you do that to me? You get into my heart, Charlotte Heywood, and it’s the most amazing thing. It brings tears to my eyes when I consider what you’re teaching me. [There was talk about her being a good teacher. She is. Subtly teaching. Blending the lesson in with her personality.]

I feel like I’ve grown three fold since being here with you. What will that be like when we’re together every day.? I’m so excited for that, Charlotte!”

“Awww, Sidney. That is so sweet. You are such a kind man, do you know that? Having you here has been a good thing. I needed to work through some things and I wouldn’t have done that without your presence and persistence. You don’t give up, Sidney. I like that in a person." 

“No, I don’t give up. Not if I want something." 

"I hope I prove I’m worth your effort.”

__________________________

“Hello, Bruddah!"

“Hey! Good timing! We got an offer on the cottage and I need you to look over the Purchase Agreement.”

“Go ahead and send it to me. That’s great! How much?”

“$65,000.” 

“Well, that’s pretty decent. How does Dad feel about that?”

“Well, of course he thinks it’s too low.”

“But you and I know it’s a fair offer. We agree. Correct?”

“Yes! I’m happy with it.” 

“Did you get an earnest money check? We’ll need 3% minimum.”

“No, but I will.”

“Scott, you need to always get a check. You have to be professional. No small-town real estate practices, okay? When do they want to close?”

“30 days.”

“Awe-some! Well, I’ll do a Comparative Market Analysis and then you can sit down with Dad and put me on speaker phone. He needs the triangle speech! (Location, Condition and Cost.) Now that’s going to have to be no earlier than the 4th.”

“Oh, really? Why is that? I’d like to get back to these people if Dad is going to make them a counter offer.”

“It will have to wait. I’m getting married tomorrow.”

“What’s that??? (Sarcastically) Say again? I don’t think I heard you.”

“I’m getting married tomorrow!”

“To Sidney?”

“Yes, of course, to Sidney! Oh, ha ha.”

“I thought he was smarter than that! He gave me that impression, anyway. I’d ask if you’re pregnant but we all know THAT'S not a possibility!“ (Scott laughs, thinking he’s being so funny.)

“Well, I do have to ask, what is the hurry?”

“We want to get the ceremony done before Sidney leaves for England, day after tomorrow. By being married in the US we can get a different Visa that can maybe be approved faster. We know what happened to Jason and Frederique. We want to try and avoid that if we can. This Visa encourages visits between our countries, combining finances to some degree and the like. Being apart is going to be hard.”

“Well, I hope you know I’m very happy for you and I think Sidney is a great guy. I think you guys compliment each other well and also seem alike in terms of interests and goals. That’s important--as you well know.”

“Yes. As I’ve told everyone, I plan to get it right this time. Put it this way...I know what I DON’T want!”

“I wish you guys the best. As Grandma says, ‘Take care of each other.’”

“Yes. What a difference that makes, right? Could you let Grandma know? I thought I’d call her on the 4th. I’ll have pictures by then.”

“Yeah, I’ll do that. She’ll want to hear from you.” 

“Can you do that with your smart phone? Or Zoom on the ipad and I’ll send pics ahead to your phone. I’d like to Facetime, at minimum.”

“No problem.”

“Why not call her around 5:30 tomorrow?” (Scott starts laughing--at himself and Sidney is loudly laughing in the background.)

“STOP. IT.!! God! Leave it to you! Did you have to do that?? Seriously?” 

“And YOU!! Don’t encourage him!” (She turns to point at Sidney.) 

“Of COURSE I had to do that! I’m your big brother! You’re my “little sissy.”

“Ugh! Jesus Q., Scott!! I swear!” (The boys take off laughing. Tears in both their eyes!) “Okay. Okay. Geesh, you two! I just wanted to let you know my good news.” (Charlotte is getting flushed.)

“I think talking to you might have helped. Right, Sidney?”

“I think my certification helped most of all!” (Sidney gets into the frame and waves.)

“Well, congrats, you two! We are all very happy for you.”

“Thank you. Appreciate it. Tomorrow, the 2nd of January, 2020!? That’s craaazy! 1-2-2020 A wedding date! Keep us in your thoughts and prayers, okay? 4:00 pm.”

“Of, course.”

“Okay. Talk soon! I’ll look over that contract on Thursday and have a CMA done.”

“Sounds good.”

“Love you!”

“Love you too! And Sidney!”

“Hey, thanks, man!” (They both wave.)

“Oh, good Lord! He knows how to embarrass the shit out of me any and every time! God, you BOTH do! I just cringe, you know that, right? Like, I pray there's no one eaves dropping!”

“Gotta admit. That was pretty funny.”

(Charlotte thinks about it and belly laughs.) “Yeah, I guess!” 

_______________

“I need to call Robin. She’ll never forgive me if I don’t let her know. Although SHE didn’t tell me when she married Curtis until afterwards. Her third marriage. Maybe that was why, ya’ think?”

“That's right, Robin has been married three times.” 

“Yes. I can’t even go there with you right now. (Charlotte smiles.) Maybe on another road trip to Red Oak.” (They both laugh.)

“I’ve never FaceTimed her before. She’ll know something is up.”

“What the hell, why are you Facetimin’ me?”

“I KNOW! I’ve never done that before, have I?”

“Better be important! I’m at a baseball game. It’s fine. Take me away from here.”

“Walk away from the bleachers so I can talk to you a minute. This IS very important.”

“Okay…well,.wait….excuse me….thank you...pardon me...Okay, what’s going on? Is something wrong? Are you okay?”

“Robin, I’m marrying Sidney tomorrow.”

“You’re WHAAAAT?! Well, I’m shocked you’d do anything like that so quickly but I’m PROUD of you for not thinking things to death. You need to stop doing that, you know. Charlotte, congratulations! I just LOVE him! He’s so perfect for you and SO MUCH BETTER a match than Steve EVER was. Isn’t it amazing how much we learn from our dissolved marriage.” 

“You mean marriage(s), plural, right? (Charlotte giggles.) You know me, I couldn’t resist.”

“Yes. Oh, ha ha! Every marriage break up brings a wealth of self-discovery. That’s what I’ve learned.”

“Robin, I feel so lucky to have him. My heart just wants to burst. I can’t stop crying, I’m so happy. I keep hoping this isn’t a dream and pray I don’t wake up right back in the sad, pathetic life I had before. Before I left for England.” 

“Charlotte, you deserve every bit of this happiness. You endured hell on earth and now is your reward for keeping faithful.”

“Awww, thank you. That means so much. Well, I just wanted to share my news!”

“When is this wedding?”

“Tomorrow, 4:00 pm.”

“We want to get the ceremony done before Sidney leaves on Tuesday. If we’re married here we can be candidates for a different kind of Visa that gets approved with a green card.”

“I’m sure you’re on it. You always are. I’m sending all my love to you guys tomorrow. Know that I’m thinking of you and sending you prayers and good thoughts. 

“4:00 pm. I’m there in spirit!” 

“Thank you, Robin.”

“Okay. I love you!” 

“Love you, too!”

“Have a great time! Call me when things settle down. I want to hear all about it.”

“Okay. Bye-bye.”

“Bye, now.”

“Okay, Aunt Pam and cousins, then Sue and Jason? It’s getting late over there now. Let’s call him tomorrow. Then I think we’ve got everyone. Right?”

_________________________

“It’s funny to see their reactions, isn’t it? I know! It seems fast, doesn’t it? Is it too fast? Do you feel like it’s too fast, Sidney? You don’t have to rush because of the Visa? I can wait. I’d just rather it all be comfortable and loving.” 

[Don’t take off on me with a frenetic episode, Charlotte! Please. This is such a nice moment.]

“Suhh-loww down, Charlotte!” (Sidney smiles.)

“Am I doing that again?”

“Unh-hunh.”

“I’m sorry.”

“My turn…”

“Charlotte...Heywood.... I do NOT want to wait! I want to make you MINE. My WIFE! The one I’ve longed for for MONTHS now. Actually, for YEARS! Don’t ever doubt how great my love and commitment is for you. Don’t over think this Charlotte--which you have a tendency to do! [I believe someone said that about you.] This can never go fast ENOUGH for me!” 

Sidney reaches over and strokes Charlotte’s hair. “I love you, Charlotte Heywood and I want to share my name with you.”

“Oh, my God, Sidney! That’s so sweet. You’re making me cry! I know you’re surprised by that.” She leans in and gives Sidney a sweet kiss. She then stands up and holds out her hands. I love you sooo much, Sidney! Don’t ever doubt that.”

Sidney grabs her hands, stands up and pulls her into his chest for a snuggle and kisses her forehead. “I love YOU sooo much, Charlotte.” 

[Hmmmmmm, I love this.]

_______________________________

“Dinner is ready for the oven whenever we want to put it in.” 

“I can’t believe you’ve done this for me. I’d like to thank you for things like this that you’re doing for me—this whole trip! This is very sweet of you.”

“You’re welcome. Let me know if there’s something you want that I can do.”

“Hmmm, wellllllll…”

“Ohhh! I walked right into that didn’t I?” 

“I’m going to jump in the shower. Can you do me a favor and print out that info on the Visa?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“While I’m in the shower get your thoughts together and we’ll take another shot at things. I’m not trying to be adversarial, Sidney. There just needs to be some resolution. I have to have resolution so I/we can move on. I don't like things lingering. We’ll stop when it gets too hard. Okay?”

“Yes, of course.” (Sidney does his wince smile.)

“I’d love it if you could watch that video on YouTube while I’m in the shower.”

“Yeah, sure. What’s the title?”


	35. "Two Time Loser"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> January 1st - Our couple is trying to come to grips with Sidney's past. Charlotte is thoroughly heartbroken. Sidney is trying to be sure she doesn't up and run again. In less than 24 hours they're supposed to be exchanging vows!

[Stop stalling, Charlotte. I’m just so nervous to start this part!]

“Should I start? (Sidney nods). I went back and watched the video. In particular I paid attention to the Lust sin…”

“Let me say right up front: Charlotte...this isn’t a fight as far as I’m concerned—it never was! This is about me and my accountability. I’m ready. I’ve never felt mad. And I wished I could think on my feet like you do--you should be a Lawyer, Charlotte! [Who else said that?] You do an excellent job explaining things. I’ve just got to write things down first. Now I’m ready.

“First off, what did you think of the video?”

“It was dead on. Kinda a slap in the face to watch that, actually.”

“It talks about how you are actually seeking comfort from strangers, because sex is the ultimate in acceptance. That it’s a form of communication that’s an actual, identifiable connection with another person--for obvious reasons.” (Charlotte lowers her head and sighs.) [This makes me so incredibly sad.]

“It also says you’re lonely, Sidney. I said that, didn’t I?”

“Yes, you did and that night was the first time something made sense. That was a bewildering night, Charlotte.”

“Were you lonely, Sidney? Were you lonely even with someone there? “ 

“Yes.” (Sidney looks down and doesn’t make eye contact.)

“Wasn’t that painful?"

“Yes. Especially as time went on and I wasn’t feeling better about things. I was feeling worse, actually.”

“But the sex made it okay? I’m just not wrapping my mind around this. I mean a stranger is a stranger is a stranger--sex or otherwise. I’d think you’d clue in to that pretty quickly. No such thing, huh? Because it involved sex? And that’s enjoyable, stranger or not? A stranger makes it easier maybe? And because you’re a good looking man and you didn’t have to work for it…? Am I right?”

“You know how I’ve said I’ve been looking for you for a long time? I really mean that. I was looking in the wrong places. And the older I got it made me anxious. Like, I knew I was running out of time--according to MY life plan.”

“Therefore the frequency picked up? Explain to me why you would think a woman you picked up in a bar was marriage material? Oh, my God, Sidney...how long has this been going on? You said “looking for a long time” and “the older I got.” (Charlotte starts crying and rubbing her forehead.)

[Multiple years!?! OH, HOLY SHIT!]

“I don’t mean to cry. Please continue. Tell me the truth.” (She makes eye-to-eye contact with Sidney but is nonetheless, crying.) [I’m dying right now. I am literally falling apart inside. What is he going to say?]

“Two and half to three years. But not as much.”

“You’ll have to excuse me, Sidney.” (Charlotte gets up quickly and runs to the bathroom and turns the sink water on full blast and really starts crying.

[She said to tell the truth. There’s no way she was ready or able to handle that. Not Charlotte. She’s too good. She’s too good for me.]

[Telling the truth and accepting it as MY truth are two different things. I’m sorry. I’m disgusted! And I feel filthy. What the HELLL! WHY? Why does this shit happen to me over and over!? I’ve gotta get out of this. It’s already too hard. Waay, too hard. I don’t want to betray his trust but I simply cannot continue right now.]

Charlotte returns to the table but is shaking. [I have to get out of here.] “The video goes on to say that really all you’re looking for in those partners is someone who will accept you. Part of what you were seeking is to find 'someone who will accept your messy, complex, all too human self.'”

“That’s me, Sidney. And I didn’t sleep with you. Why couldn’t you have made that choice sooner?"

“Yes. I know. And I’m grateful, Charlotte, that you let me in. That you’re staying here. YOU were always special to me. From the beginning. You know that? We’ve talked about that. I knew you were the one and I didn’t want to screw it up. Those other women could never be compared to you. You were different. You were unique. Your own person. You mattered to me so the choice was easy. And I did NOT sleep with anyone after you arrived. Your sources are wrong. I know it appears I had hook ups but I didn’t follow thru.”

“You couldn’t have waited for me, dozens upon dozens of women ago? For me or whomever, couldn’t you have gone without making such DRASTIC, destructive personal choices?”

“Charlotte, when I saw that video it really hit home. Truly, I wasn’t thinking ahead. It was all about the moment and I am ashamed of that. That's the warped thinking of that behavior. I don’t know where I’d be without you coming to Sanditon. You need to believe me, I did stop when you came. And you know what? I fell in love with you and everything good slowly started coming to me and things were making sense. Things seemed possible. I never felt that before.”

“I clearly communicated with you every day--there was no need for sex. There was actual give and take in our discussions. You were genuinely nice and caring and interested in my well-being. I didn’t impress you. Meaning, you weren’t giving me any favors based on my looks and I hope that comes across the way I mean it to. I don’t mean to boast. It felt good to be with you Charlotte. It still does, obviously! I started to see how a ‘grown up’ relationship works. I really had no significant, meaningful relationship since college.” 

[“Grown up relationship?” I said that, too.]

“It’s being immature and selfish, Charlotte and I see that now. Thank you for doing this with me.”

[Probably, low end, 50-65 partners worth of immaturity, over 3 years? I feel like I could throw up. Would he ever give me a straight answer on that? Does it matter? I can’t fathom, really. This could end up bothering me indefinitely.]

“Sidney. I need to stop there for now. Maybe later today or sometime tomorrow we can pick this up again. Play it by ear, okay? It’s already too hard for me. Charlotte grimaces and doesn’t make eye contact with Sidney. So, I’m going to go start some laundry. I need to just get my mind busy.”

“I love you and I’m sorry.”

“I know that. Thank you for reminding me.” (She pats his shoulder and passes through the dining room and kitchen to the basement steps.)

Charlotte takes off to the laundry room but what she really is going to do is shower. [I feel so filthy.] Who the hell knows how many MORE there are NOW!. 2.5-3 years’ worth?!? Are you f**k-ing KID-DING me!? I can’t think so poorly of my fiance but I feel dirty. I feel betrayed even though I didn’t know him at the time. Why? Because, dammit! He may not have known the REASONING behind his behavior but he goddamn KNEW what he was doing was WRONG!! THE QUANTITY ALONE IS UN-BELIEVABLE!! WTF??

No way you COULDN’T recognize your actions with THAT many women! Give me a f**king BREAK! He knew he would eventually find a mate and why would you do that to a life partner? How could you do that to anyone? I mean, hey...how can someone DO THAT, period?? I don’t get it. I truly don’t. I don’t want to be ANY PART of that sick behavior. [ I gotta get this off of me.]

Charlotte gets in the shower and of course, starts to sob. Sidney has come down to the laundry room to ask her a question and hears the water running and her crying. (Sobbing. Call it like it is. She’s sobbing.) 

Charlotte takes a long shower. (She already took one less than an hour ago.) Sidney hears the water shut off and decides to lean against the opposite wall in the hallway, directly across from the door.

She opens the door…”Oh! What? Why are you here?”

“You felt you needed a shower? Because I TOUCHED you?” 

Charlotte is trying not to cry but of course she is.

“No. Uhh...I felt like I didn’t rinse my hair out well enough from my previous shower.” (She’s not making eye contact.)

She proceeds to walk down the hallway and Sidney catches her--grabs her arm. "Please tell me the truth."

“Let go of me. I DO know how to break your hold on my arm in 1 second or less. So, make that choice on your own.”

Sidney lets go and stares her in the eye. [ I don’t doubt that. I didn’t even realize I held her arm.]

“I didn’t mean to have touched you that way, Charlotte. I’m sorry. I just wanted you to wait.”

“Then DON’T touch me that way! Like I say to my 3 year olds, ‘use your words’. (Charlotte glares.) I can’t have that, Sidney. No one gets to lay hands on me. EVER!” [I hate being in hallways with men. Hallways, period. The only way out is to get past him. Awwww, shit.]

“I understand! I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. Forgive me.”

[I can’t believe her. She blows me away! What makes her “tick”?]

“I run on a low level of fear, Sidney. I will fight if needed. It’s called “Survivorship.”

[I guess that answers that. She blows me away at every turn. She’s so strong yet vulnerable. Driven but reserved and strategic. No SHIT, no shit gets by her.]

"Wait...what does that mean, Charlotte? He wasn’t just aggressive toward you, he abuuused you?” [I do remember her saying on our drive down that she would tell me later some things that happened but she was still too mad to discuss. I forgot about that. Now I think I see that fear on her face.] 

[I’m so on edge. I really don’t want to be in a hallway right now.]. "Don't deflect, Sidney. That's a whole different topic..” 

[I’m just now remembering that. Like your divorce and your virtue, Charlotte, it would have been nice to know these things in advance! I’ve scared you, I think!]

” The point is, no one touches me like that ever. The slightest touch of aggression will meet my wrath. That's a guarantee. I'm not ever going back."

“Uhhh. I understand. I do. I totally get it, Charlotte. I’m really sorry.” [That’s what I thought. So help me God, I would handle these things differently if she’d clue me in.]

“Now...truth...I promised to always tell you the truth. So, Sidney, be prepared to receive it. And as you’ve witnessed in the past, I don’t mess around with my message:

“I don’t want to feel this way, Sidney. I’m not comfortable in my own skin right now. You touched all of them before me and then you touched me today..and be honest with yourself, in a very similar way! Think about it. Right? I find it that disGUSTting! 

“I’m trying to work with you on this, Sidney, but I need to take care of myself, FIRST!! Taking a shower is my first step in removing this layer of SHIT on me. Does it come from your touch? YES! It does! You just told me there are THREEEE years worth of women, Sidney!! I’m being honest...I don’t know what to DO with that?! (She directly stares Sidney in the eye.) Charlotte steps back and brings her fingers to her forehead, then gestures to Sidney. "What did you think? That this would never catch up to you? That the one at the end of the line wouldn’t give a damn? Ohhh, you were going to just keep a secret, huh? Is that it? 

“Let me inform you, it wouldn’t end up being a secret with ME anyway, as you can now see! Stuff like this doesn't get by me...just sayin'. My intuition kicks in and I will persist until I figure it out. I told you something wasn’t right. I had no idea it would be THIIIS! Guhhh!” ["Persistent." That came up repeatedly as I spoke with people. She IS persistent! And SMART!]

“I care. I give a damn, Sidney! Maybe other women can take this but Iii can’t! I would imagine those that think this is no big deal have a similar lifestyle. Multiple (meaningless) partners. We have a name for those women in my family. Basically known as sluts which connotes “less than desirable.” At some point you're going to have to EXPLAIN TO ME how some woman, some less than desirable woman you picked up in a bar, is potential marriage material? Sit down with me sometime and HELP ME UNDERSTAND that BULL-SHIT!? You want a woman like that to be the mother of your children? Really, Sidney? 

Sidney bows his head. He now understands the shower. He understands her disgust. He understands her tears.

"Did you know that STD’s are damaging more to women than men? Three of them have no symptoms and they can cause sterility, birth defects or can kill a baby. Men have one thing and it’s detectable. HPV can cause cancer and kill either the man or woman but it’s clearly visible on a man. Not so for a woman.” 

So your dismissive and shaming response to me the other night is especially infuriating. If there's nothing there after that many women, Sidney, it’s only by God’s grace and abundant mercy, I’m telling you! And you WILL be getting tested! I should have insisted before or YOU could have offered! Like I said before, not all things are detectable. [God, I am getting sooo mad! I don’t want a “regrettable moment” here.]

“I DON’T happen to run my life that way, Sidney, and I have made personal choices along the way in my life to steer clear of that behavior. It’s by CHOICE, Sidney! A personal, deliberate choice. EVERY person can make that CHOICE, Sidney! Where and why did you fall off the podium of having class and character?

“Yes, I‘m righteous and I have every reason that I CAN be! I was faced with difficult choices, too--many times! I don’t deserve this…”

“Charlotte, listen I…”

[Am I going to lose her after all?]

“No, YOU listen...If I want a shower because I am overcome by your touch, then I’m DAMN well going to DO it! I don’t need - or want - your permission! Is that clear? I’ve said it before and I mean it! If I don’t take care of ME I can’t possibly help YOU. Does that make sense? I really do want to help you... (tears) 

“Gaaaahhh, Sidney! You’ve touched all those women and now you’re touching me? C’mon. Please!! The visual? GODDD, Sidney!! You’re KILLING ME here! 

[I can see that. Please don’t make me go! Believe me, I need you and I want you in my life. Just wait. Give me one more day. One more...kiss. Like I said before, one kiss at a time.]

U

“I’m trying, Sidney! I really am! I don't know what to do with all this yet!" (She's crying harder now.)

“What if this were reversed and I gifted YOU this present? I need to get rid of this filthy feeling. I need to separate myself from all that. It’s GROSS, Sidney! THAT’S what it is!! It’s GROSS!”

“Charlotte, I’ve been carrying a lie around, in front of you, for too long. You wanted the truth. I told you the truth. I’m sorry and I’m ashamed but that person doesn’t exist any more. You’ve changed me, Charlotte. From our first day together in the office to now. By being together in your home? By going home with you. My life has completely turned around because of you. Don’t you see that? The player is gone, Charlotte. It’s me and I love you. Please look at me...(Charlotte stops pacing and makes eye contact). [There you are. No fear anymore.] Can I please make it right by you? I KNOW it’s time and effort. I’ m willing to do whatever it takes to be with you. Please... 

“Look, I’ve got to work through this and it takes time and we don’t have time anymore! Sidney, I’ll break it down for you; this is a grieving process. I lost the person I thought you were and I lost the vision I had of our idyllic life together. Compare how happy I was, when we were in Red Oak. I was amazed at how good that felt! It had been such a long time since I felt happy. YEARS! I couldn’t stop smiling. I was just SO happy and optimistic about our future, Sidney! Contrast that with now.

[Am I going to lose you after all, Charlotte? Please, no.]

“Sidney...this is a grieving process. Are you familiar with the ‘7 Stages Of Grief’? It’s so on the mark it amazes me every time I have to deal with loss. Like when my mom passed. When I was diagnosed. THAT is a big loss for me, Sidney! I’m at stage #2 (denial) with us although you just backed me up to #1 (shock/disbelief) with this last pass at things. I may be there for a while—gotta be honest. Stage #3 (anger) is prepped, waiting and ready to go! Believe me! 

“I’ve grieved my bipolar diagnosis and I can tell you this, it takes time! I’m still stuck at stage #4 (bargaining) and it’s now SEVEN years later! Every day I try and make a deal with God. That’s the amount of heartbreak and loss that my Bipolar diagnosis is for me. It's a death, of me and my previous life; it’s a very slow grieving process.

“Please give me some space now. I have to figure out what the HELL I’m going to do.

“You’ve seen me now when I’m mad. I rage/blow up for a while and then I need time to regroup and then I come back for resolution, fairly quickly. That’s a pretty consistent pattern. This is obviously the rage. Just let me think things through, okay?

“Okay…” [What else CAN I say? She communicates so well. It physically hurts. She just lays it out there. Who else said that about her? All of those people were right on when they spoke of her. It's all truth. Many diverse traits with a common theme. That’s Charlotte! No pretense. What you see is what you get. What I “get” is that I’ve hurt her horribly.]

Charlotte turns to walk away, but stops and turns back around…[I’m losing 2 ways. He's leaving in less than 48 hours. I don't get this time back. I don’t deserve to be kept away from him because of HIS "secret"! Iiii didn't do that!]

“Sidney?”

“Yes?”

“Will you hold me, please?” (Charlotte breaks down and sobs.)

“Oh, God. Yes! Of course!” (Sidney goes right to Charlotte and pulls her in. He kisses the top of her head and pulls her in tightly. A wonderful bear hug.

“I’m so MAD at you!” (She's back to sobbing.) “Why ME? (Between sobbiing breaths), I’m PISSED! Why would you do that! God! I’m just so MAAAAD at you!” She continues to cry. 

[This is heartbreaking—-for BOTH of us.]

Sidney is crying…”I know. I know. I understand why you’re angry, Charlotte. I can’t say enough how sorry I am. Please don’t leave me?’ Sidney pulls her into snuggle position.”

Charlotte wraps around his torso and Sidney envelopes her and kisses the top of her head and forehead. She’s burying her head in his chest.

“I’m just so MAD at you, Sidney! How COULD you?” Charlotte is hitting his back and crying hard.

“I know. I know. Shhh. It’s going to be alright. Give me a chance. I promise you, Charlotte, I’ll make it right by you. Just please don’t leave me.”

___________________________

Sidney is downstairs watching “Gunsmoke”. Weasley is lying on his back, all four legs stretched out like a flying squirrel--snoring. Everything is laid back and very casual. Thankfully, somewhat normal. Charlotte comes down, sighs from fatigue and curls up on on the other end of the couch. She is drifting in and out of sleep. Sidney is watching and admiring from the other end of the couch.

[I can’t believe she’s sticking around. She certainly doesn’t have to. I think that's unbelievably generous on her part. “A lot of grace”, as she would say. Understanding. Loving. She must really LOVE you a LOT, Sidney. She says it all the time. Now, she's showing it.]

Sidney gets up and goes to the other end of the couch where Charlotte has fallen asleep. He puts one hand up on the back of the couch and leans over and kisses her. Charlotte snuggles into her pillow and then realizes what that was. She wakes, sweetly smiles up at Sidney and touches his cheek.

Sidney leans closer, “Heey.”

“Are you really here?” Charlotte smiles sweetly and keeps gently rubbing Sidney’s cheek.

Sidney giggles and says, “Haven’t we been over this before? Say, aren’t you my kissing instructor?”

Charlotte reaches up and places her hand behind Sidney’s neck. She pulls his face down to hers and lays a sweet, loving kiss on him. “Yes, I believe I am. What do YOU think?”

“Uh-humm” Sidney smiles, softly laughs and nods. “Most definitely.” (He softly and sweetly Eskimo kisses Charlotte.) 

“I still can’t believe it,” and she rubs his cheek again. “Will you come spoon with me?”

“Of course! I’d love to! Charlotte, you’re tired today. Are you acting?”

“Yes. Its been a hard couple days and the next couple days won’t be any better. Kind of scary to be heading into all this when I’m low and let’s face it, struggling.”

“Can I do anything to help?”

[You mean, besides the obvious, Sidney? Ugh! Anger is definitely winning this one. Can we go back to 3 years ago? Shit.]

“Please be patient with me. I’m at an awkward place with what’s happening to us. And my stamina is waning. Let’s just take this a little bit at a time. When it gets too hard we take a break.” 

Sidney nods. “I understand. I appreciate you letting me in, Charlotte.” 

“Please lay with me. I need to feel you. I love you, Sidney. Don’t ever forget that.”

“Hmmm, I’m pretty sure I love you a whole lot more, Charlotte.” (Both giggle.)  
___________________________________

>> 7 << Stages Of Grief (Modified Kubler-Ross Model)

Shock/Disbelief → Denial → Anger → Bargaining —>Guilt → Depression → Acceptance/Hope


	36. "Pray"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> January 2nd - Sidney leaves tomorrow so the wedding has to happen today or not at all.

Charlotte gets up early and takes a walk by herself in the neighborhood. It’s beautiful outside. (Cold, of course.) It’s early enough people aren’t out yet--she doesn’t have to chit chat with the neighbors.

I swear, walking these blocks and blocks of stucco tudors is so peaceful for me. They’re all different and each one has a unique exterior feature. A brick pattern on the fireplace. A tile mounted in the stucco, terrace windows, wrought iron, etc. I’ve been in most of these houses as a neighbor and a Realtor. Gorgeous. No better era. 

Charlotte. What are you doing about this? (I am so overwhelmed. I’m having a real hard time being a “grown up”!) I love Sidney. Could I ever be a friend with him? No. It would hurt too much. Are you going to overthink things and run away again, Charlotte? It’s a thought now, isn’t it?! Absolutely NO running away!! What does that prove? You’re weak? Uhhh, no! You’re not! You’ve proven that time and time again.

Why run? Because Sidney would come after you again and then what would you do? I’d melt and fall into his arms. There just is something there! I can’t even explain it. Where to start? Well, Charlotte, a week ago you were madly in love with this man. He was your world--the center of your Universe. You smiled so easily. You clearly saw a future and you were excited about it! You weren't questioning anything then. These past 3 weeks have been leading up to this moment….and then this happened.

What are you going to do, Charlotte? This will test your faith farther than anything else you’ve experienced. “Farther than anything else?” No. Absolutely not. The bipolar has and continues to challenge my faith “farther than anything else.” As a matter of fact, it’s that (semi) success that I foolishly think I can take this on…?! “Success?” Do you REALLY think you’re “succeeding” there or are you lying to yourself? At least I’m getting up and out of bed! There was a time when I couldn’t. So just shut up. I don’t need another defeating thought--it’s hard enough on a daily basis. Are you up for this? Do you feel physically well enough to take this on? Again, shut up! You KNOW there’s no guarantee day to day. It’s the forgiveness piece, isn’t it Charlotte? 

YEESS!!!

Charlotte tears up and looks up and down the street to see if anyone can see her. No one. She walks on full out crying.

I just don’t get it!? So MANY women!? WTF! Can you forgive Sidney? For being stupid and self-serving? Actually I am already moving ever so very, very, (a millimeter?) slightly that way because I know guys are so DAMN DUMB when it comes to sex. (Thank you to my brothers on that one.) I think the hardest thing is it’s HARD to forgive something I don’t understand?! I can’t forgive it yet. NO WAAAAY can I forgive that right now. It’s only been 3 days?! Gimme a break?! 

I’m pissed because there’s just so many conveniently ignored truths there. There should have been plain ol’ common sense in all this! And then lying about it? C'mon, don’t play ignorant with me. It really insults my intelligence. I truly believe that is the ultimate form of disrespect. Don’t play ignorant or try and keep secrets from me. There is no such thing with me! I’ll figure it out soon enough! That’s just me! Why didn’t he tell me himself? “Discovering” this makes it that much worse. Why? Whhyy? Because he thought he would lose you if you knew. You’ve given him what he’s wanted. Love. Hope. A future with a friend... When you came into his world it changed for the better. He simply cannot lose that! That’s why I’m here! Walking! I’m sorting my thoughts. I need to remember, as painful as that was to hear, about the additional years, he could have easily lied. But he didn’t.

Ever wonder what it’d be like if you weren’t so intuitive and smart? If you didn’t care so much? Other people simply aren’t smart; or they play dumb and turn the other cheek all the time! In all sorts of circumstances. Why can’t I? My intuition won’t let me! Because when it doesn’t feel right there’s a reason. Keep searching. Be persistent. Follow your inner voice/the Holy Spirit! It's never wrong. Ever! As horrible as those outcomes may be. How does it feel with Sidney?

Right.

Why? What makes it “right?" There just is nothing else wrong with him! I love it when he holds me. I feel safe. I feel like he can protect me. He’s sweet. He really makes an effort to make the relationship work. He’s open and willing to learn. I’d go so far as to say he’s a “man’s man." Masculine. But not rough around the edges. He’s very classy. (But that’s why this is so disappointing, isn't it?) He loves children and so badly wants to be a father. That’s pretty rare to find let alone admitting to it and talking about it. I think he’d make a fantastic father--and spouse! He’s loyal and loving. He’s so damn funny. He makes me laugh every day. Compared to what I had…? That is an amazing gift.

It comes down to I don’t see my life without him. That’s wise advice from my mom. It makes me want to try that much harder. I realize I need to meet halfway here. Am I making sense? Who are you asking that? The other piece is he’s my answer to prayer. He IS the guy I prayed for! In every way but one! (Yea, me! There’s always something! You don’t deserve complete happiness.) I know it in my heart and, per usual, God is answering my prayer but is challenging my faithfulness. I KNOW this to be true. God answers every prayer. It just might not be the answer you expected or wanted. That’s kinda how this is. I swear, every single thing on that list is there. I prayed for him. “Mr. Dreamboat” (as Robin would tease) is flawed, Charlotte. Not only is he ‘flawed’ he has made a mistake and damaged his character--in a big way! It happens to be an aspect of life that means a great deal to you. What are you going to do about it, Charlotte?”

Pray.

“It feels good to get this step done! Who would know you can get a marriage license in Hennepin county in the morning and get married in the afternoon? That’s good, ‘cause I didn’t take that into consideration when we started planning all this. Charlotte, you’re being awfully quiet.”

Charlotte is looking out the window as Sidney drives. “I’m just thinking of how unlikely all of this is. Unlikely but feels right. You gotta know. This is VERY unlike me. I typically rethink things many times over. But it’s right somehow.”

Sidney smiles and reaches over for her hand. “Thank you for saying that. That means so much. I love you Charlotte Heywood.” (He smiles at Charlotte.) They pull up in front of the house and look at each other and laugh. “Charlotte we have our marriage license!”

“I know! This is really crazy! We’re really doing this, aren’t we?”

“Yes. For sure!”

“Remember when we barely knew each other and yet spent 6 hours together in this car--twice!” (They both laugh.)

It was so great talking with your friends and family about you. All that time spent with them and watching you interact with each other really gave me a good insight as to your spirit. That driving force that makes you so unique. Truly, Ms. Heywood, you have always intrigued me. From the very beginning. You have a different spirit or soul than most. That really comes through when you’re in your element, in your hometown.

It was curious that I did get some consistent comments about you: dear, sweet, loving, just-minded, smart, strategic, feisty, persistent, talented, loyal, innocent, capable, resourceful, resilient, sensitive…

“Who said ‘sensitive’? I’d say that flew out the window with the divorce! Gotta toughen up following that experience. Who said that? Sue?”

“Your brothers.”

“Whaaat? Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber?? In-ter-est-ing. I’ll have to check in on that. That’s reeeaaly interesting. [Sensitive?] I’m surprised they didn’t say “weenie”? They know better. [“Sensitive?” Yes! Duh! I won’t ever acknowledge that. Leave it to those two to point that out. Of COURSE I’m “sensitive”. You gotta feel pain to know pain. It all sucks!/p>

“Charlotte Heywood, you’re a conundrum! And you’re dearly loved by people. Of course you are a loving and giving individual so that comes back to you.. You deserve those people in your life. What greater gift is there?”

“Sidney Parker, I do believe you are improving your communication skills--the way you express yourself. I am IMPRESSED! I could listen to you all day. You love my kissing. I love your voice. Perfect pair! Of course we'd have to take turns!” 

“Yet another thing you’re teaching me, Ms. Heywood Parker--almost!”

“Ahhhhh! That’s craaaazy!”

“I’ll never forget those 6 hours (x 2) in the car. Definitely some of the best memories of the trip. I felt like I knew you, Charlotte. Not just all the specifics of the Coke/Pepsi questions but in terms of familiarity. I told you that. That was there the first day with you. I did love you from first sight, Charlotte. Please believe me.”

'

“Oh,'okaaaaay. I’ll believe you. I thought you were incredibly handsome and that was danger for me. My 'admiration” was there from the beginning, too but I couldn’t ‘go there'. [Hell, no! Can you imagine 6 weeks of this?] You were very hard to resist, Mr. Parker. [But I did!] And persistent! You were starting to wear me down. Dinner at your place nearly did it. That was so sweet of you to ask that night. You had such puppy dog eyes. I just couldn't. Way too risky.”

“Oh, really?”

“I did give in, in the end, didn't I?”

“Oh, that’s right. You kissed me. I forgot. You absolutely FLOORED me, Charlotte!”

“Yeah, I tend to do that to people.” 

“Charlotte, let me ask you this. Scott told me that the reason you ran is because I already meant something to you. That you take off when things are too emotional and you can't deal with it. When things are too close and uncomfortable. Is that true? Did I already mean something to you after after all?”

”How insightful of the egghead. Oh, man. I've never disected that behavior. It's survival in it's most basic form. Retreat and don't deal with it. That goes way back to my childhood. I was powerless then. As an adult I can choose for myself. I have power.

"I knew I gave away that ‘power’ and control when I kissed you. Six weeks of keeping it together and then I blew it. I was scared. Yes, you mattered to me! About 4 weeks prior to that I realized it. I had to reign it in. I was having waaay too much fun with you at work. There was a breakthrough moment for me. Things started to feel different so I had to shut it down. Of course, you mattered to me!"

"What was that 'break through moment', Charlotte?"

"Making eye contact with you that night that you were leaving the bar. That hurt me to watch you do that, Sidney. I shouldn't have even paid attention or looked at you but when I did and we made eye contact, I had to admit that it mattered to me, a LOT, what you were doing. The look in your eyes broke my heart! Why did it matter to me? I had to admit it was because I cared for you.”

”You changed my life with that glance, Charlotte,” as Sidney is tearing up he glances down. He raises his head and looks eye to eye with Charlotte and sweetly says, “Thank you.”

"Thank you for coming after me, Sidney. You’ve changed MY life." (She sweetly smiles and reaches over for Sidney's hand. She kisses it and cradles it next to her heart. Sidney is blown away.) 

”Come here."

(Charlotte leans in.) “Give me your best.”

[Oooooo that always makes me nervous! Picture the kiss first.] Sidney pictures Charlotte and his desire to reaffirm her that marrying today is the biggest gift they can give each other. He places his hand on her cheek and then does what he’s pictured.

“Sidney…! My God! You will rival me soon!”

“Yeah, that was pretty good, huh?”

“Very good! I love you so much, Sidney. Don't ever doubt that.”

“I love you, too, Ms. Heywood. Not for long!”

_____________________________

“Okay...are you putting these toys in here?” (Sidney is packing his suitcase.)

“What toys?”

“These!” He holds up a stuffed banana. And this...he holds up a stuffed ice cream cone.

“Oh, my gosh! Weasley! Oh, isn’t that funny? Awww, he’s gonna miss you. He wants to give you a present to take home with you.”

“Woh, c’mon now Charlotte. You know that isn’t the case."

"He DID do that, I swear. Be honored! Iiii never get anything when I leave town! That’s so sweeet. Take one with you and bring it back when you come back. Take the ice cream cone. He has two of those. (Vanilla and chocolate.) The banana is kinda a favorite, You are extra special since he dropped THAT one off for you.”

"Wait. Hey, what's this?" (Sidney pulls an envelope out of the suitcase.) z’It says 'Sidney' on here.” (He slyly grins at Charlotte.)

"Hmmm? Interesting. Wonder what that is?"

Sidney opens the envelope to find a series of 5 black and white photos from the day they made snow angels. Margot told Charlotte she took a few extra photos and they ended up being great candids. First is a pic of the angles themselves. Then Charlotte and Sidney sitting up and looking at each other. The next 2 are Sidney pulling Charlotte up out of the snow and then the last one is of them hugging with big smiles.

"Whoa, these are greeeaat! Where did you get these?"

"My friend Margot kept shooting after our snow angels. Aren't they precious? I'm having a collage made for you and sent to you in Sanditon. I just thought you might like the prints in the meantime. You weren't supposed to FIND these until you got home. Thanks, Weasley! (Charlotte pets the very loud purring kitty.) There's a note. Save that until you're home."

"Thank you, Charlotte. You give the greatest gifts!" 

"You're welcome. Just a little something while we're apart. We’re going to miss you, Sidney."

“Is that right? Are you going to miss me Weasley? (Weasley rubs on his legs tracing a figure 8 pattern.) No one to pounce on from behind? [Sign of endearment. Seriously.] I hope she feeds you! [I did that purposefully so you two would bond.]. And changes your litter box! [Oh, yeah. I AM going to really miss that! And Sidney…? This is going to go waaay beyond just missing you. Back to the moment…]

“I love that cat. You wouldn’t miss him if I brought him back with me, would you?"

He’d hate your climate! He’s got to have lots of snow. Sorry!”

_____________________________

[Yup! Here is another reason why I love this girl...she’s having a “Charlotte moment” (I love that term) and is dancing and singing in the kitchen. Now, she’s “danced” before which was calm, gliding across the floor moves, cooking food, but THIS is bonafide groovin’. I gotta video this.]

[“Uptown Funk”. [Bruno Marrs] She takes off electric sliding then ends up “running” with “Saturday night goin’ give it to ya’. Saturday night and we in the spot…” (Then one 'grab the sunshine' hand in the air with her other hand on her hip) 'Don’t believe me just watch! OWW!' Oh, my God! Priiiiiiiiiceless! God.I.love.this.girl!] 

[Her second song is “You Don’t Know You’re Beautiful” (One Direction) She’s watching the YouTube video on her ipad.] “God, you are CU-UUUTE! Oh, shit! That one’s niiice, too! Woo! I don’t even know what to call YOU? Get out-ta here! YOU are gorgeous, too! Gimme a break! Is there not an ugly one in the bunch? Oh, yeah. You have a baby, I hear. Oh, I get it. Good God. Damn! Why not, huh?” [Did she just say that? I have it on video!] 

She ends up imitating the group’s choreography. She’s hopping on her toes, arm in the air…  
“You light up my world like nobody else…..you don’t know you’re beautiful. That’s what makes you beautiful.”

[THAT, right there, is what makes her beautiful. I’m going to LOOOVE these videos!!]

She lures me in! Everyday! And I LOVE it! And I love HER! So much!

_________________________ 

“Hi, Charlotte!”

The neighbor boy across the street (age 10) yells greetings to Charlotte as she and Sidney get in the car to head for their ceremony.

“You look pretty! Are you going to a wedding!” (Charlotte is carrying flowers. Creme-colored dress.)

“Thank you, Becket! Yes. I am.”

“Are you the bride?”

(Charlotte giggles.). “Yes, Becket. I am!”

“Who is your husband going to be? The guy in the car? “ (Sidney waves.)

“Yes.”

“He looks nice.”

“He really is. You will like him. I have to leave now, okay? Thank you for yelling 'hello!'”

“You’re welcome. Congratulations!”

‘Awww, thank you, buddy.’ (Charlotte waves and gets in the car.)

‘You ARE amazing with children, Charlotte. I am in awe of you, you know that?

“Thank you. I love kids. So sweet and innocent. They have a lot to teach me!” (Charlotte reaches over and plays with the hair on the back of Sidney’s neck. It’s really curly when it’s long.)

“Okay. Enough distracting me back there. I’m already anxious.”

“Okay. (Charlotte giggles and brings her hands back to her lap.) I’ve got some things in mind for afterwards.”

Sidney pulls into the parking lot, puts the car in park and looks at Charlotte. “I bet you do.”

Charlotte gives Sidney her own version of his little s**t grin.

_____________________________________

Trying to get a Pastor in one day would be damn near impossible but Charlotte is personal friends with hers. Pastor Debbie found them a time to use the sanctuary and two witnesses. All they needed to do was show up with their marriage license. An early morning trip to the courthouse and they were ready for a 4:00 candle lit ceremony. Those friends of Debbie’s came to get the 60 candle globes and set them out around the altar and at the front steps of the church. It was beautiful.

“Debbie started: Charlotte we have talked about the strength and power of love since I’ve known you—for a decade! We have struggled with the disappointments in relationships but have always prayed together that you would find TRUE love, God’s love meant for you, in another partner. Today you have found that love in Sidney.

Sidney, Charlotte has waited a long, long time for you. Someday she or I will share that journey with you. She has loved you even before you showed up in her life. She prayed that you were out there somewhere and now you’ve come. She had faith in God that his plan would happen as intended.’’

Throughout this time, Charlotte, we have often referred to Jeremiah 29:11 for inspiration and solace over the years. At times of hopelessness, when we cried over your losses, in this passage we found promise.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.  
Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  
Plans to give you hope and a future.

Today IS that future, Charlotte and Sidney. I am privileged and honored to be a part of this blessed day. I couldn’t be more excited to see you two together and I’m grateful to be part of this celebration. Please, turn to one another as you share your vows today and pledge an unending commitment to one another...

Through the power vested in me by the State of Minnesota, I now pronounce you husband and wife.

Sidney you may now kiss your bride.” 

[Picture it.] 

__________________________

“Whaaaat??”

“It’s my duty to carry you over the threshold, is it not?”

“Awww, thank you but Sidney this is such a sharp corner on the porch. You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to! Let me get the doors ready. (Just then Weasley goes darting out the door.) Well, he’s going to miss all the fun!”

Sidney leans down and easily picks Charlotte up into his arms. “I had no idea what you weigh but it isn’t much. I pick up Diana now and again and she most definitely is heavier than you. Not that that’s bad or anything.” (He smiles.)

Charlotte holds on around Sidney’s neck and lays her head down on his neck and shoulder. Charlotte is soaking this all in. And starting to cry.

Sidney sets Charlotte down on the other side of the threshold and kisses her passionately. “That was a step into our future, Charlotte" as he softly wipes away her tears.

Charlotte literally dives for his chest and wraps her arms around his torso.

Sidney laughs and wraps his arms around her. “I love you, Charlotte Heywood Parker.”

Charlotte sniffs and laughs. “I love you, too.” Her voice being muffled by the clothing. She squeezes Sidney. He can feel her posture let go. The stiffness goes out of her back. He pulls her in to cry.

“I’m sorry I cry so much. I’m trying to do better.”

“I noticed.” (Sidney starts snickering and then an outright laugh.)

(Charlotte steps back in order to see Sidney’s face.) “Awwww! You! “ She slaps Sidney’s chest. “I’m just so happy!”

“I’m not trying to make you feel bad about crying. That’s perfectly fine and I want to be there to hold you. But Charlotte, you laid that out there for me. I couldn’t resist! I know what you’re saying. I’m really happy, too! I can hardly believe that girl that ran away from me is now my WIFE! How can that be?”

“Wow! My WIFE!? I really found you!”

“Yes. It’s me. My HUSBAND! I am so blessed.”

“Come here, my bride, let me dry your tears.” Sidney puts his hands on either side of her face and his thumbs stroke her cheeks to wipe her tears. He holds her face like he did on their first night together and kisses her like he did then. Even Charlotte is blown away.

“Wow! Thank you”! Charlotte starts to giggle. “How’d you learn to kiss like that?” 

“I’m still seeing that instructor for a few lessons now and again.” And here comes his little sh** grin. 

“5:20 pm. A little early for dinner. What should we do?”

“Gunsmoke”? [He’s half serious and I’m not kidding!]

“How about we call Grandma!”

They look at each other, smile and start laughing with one another. 

[See! So easy to joke with! So easy to love! So much easiER! Period.]

.  
______________________________

I wish time could stand still. I want another night with him. I want more mornings with him. I want someone to tell me he can stay here until we are ready. But this is it. This is what life will be like for a while. Yet somehow I put that in the back of my mind like if I ignore it I won’t have to deal with it. But...I inevitably end up having to deal with it. And it’s as painful as it ever would have been.

[I depend on him every day. How am I going to do that? How am I going to “fly solo” again?]

[This is sooo ideal! I am going to cherish every moment. I have him all to myself. The phones are turned off...]

After dessert Charlotte says, “Sidney, I have a surprise for you.”

“You do?” 

“Yes.”

“I need to get some more things ready so I need you to go downstairs and stay until I come get you. Okay?”

“Oh, wowwww! This is a big deal!? Huh?”

“You’re golng to love it and yes, it’s pretty special.”

“Okay. I’m off.” (He gives a peck on the cheek.) “I’ll watch another episode of “Gunsmoke”. 

[Thank you, Craig!] (Quick kiss.) ”I’ll see you soon.” 

Sidney has left his phone on the sidetable near the door per usual, with his billfold and change. Charlotte has to do this now or likely never will without him noticing. 

This is Sidney’s extra surprise for when he’s back in Sanditon. Charlotte has cued up a karaoke version of “To Make You Feel My Love” by Bob Dylan. She sings and records the song into his voice memo app. so he can replay it as he’d like. (You can go without knowing you have a voice memo because the app doesn’t tell you there’s one there. Depending on Sidney’s usage it could be one day or months before he finds this!)

“Heeeeyyyy. You found me, Sidney! Surprise! This is a little something for you to remind you how much I love YOU. How much I love US! When I was looking for the right song I felt like this one worked both ways. The lyrics are perfect! Please close your eyes and feel me with you. That’s where I want to be right now. I love you soooo much, Sidney. Don’t ever doubt that. I’m here. I’m never running away again. Promise! I hope you like it…”

To Make You Feel My Love  
Words and music by: Bob Dylan

When the rain is blowing in your face  
And the whole world is on your case  
I could offer you a warm embrace  
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear  
And there is no one there to dry your tears  
I could hold you for a million years  
To make you feel my love

I know you haven’t made your mind up yet  
But I would never do you wrong  
I’ve know it from the moment that we met  
No doubt in my mind where you belong

I’d go hungry I’d go black and blue  
I’d go crawling down the avenue  
No, there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do  
To make you feel my love

The stars are raging on the rolling sea  
And on the highway of regret  
The winds of change are blowing wild and free  
You ain’t seen nothing like me yet

I could make you happy make your dreams come true  
Nothing that I wouldn’t do  
Go to the ends of the earth for you  
To make you feel my love

To make you feel my love

Charlotte goes upstairs to her bedroom to make sure everything is all right. Towels, candles, red wine and bottled water. Instrumental music only, no lyrics. Otherwise. She’d be singing lyrics in her head! [I certainly don’t want to be distracted!]

She proceeds to draw a hot bath and adds the bubble bath.

Charlotte is secretly laughing because she KNOWS this will blow Sidney away. [Time with my husband. “Husband”. I love to hear that! I’ve waited for a friend and partner for sooo long—we both have!]

Things look beautiful. Right out of a movie. Now it’s time to get Sidney…

Charlotte yells down the basement stairs, “Okay. You can come up.”

“Can I just finish this episode?”

“Sidney Parker, do you want to have a fight right now”?

You hear the fumble of the remote and the tv goes silent. “Okay...okay.”

Sidney bounds up the stairs two at a time. Charlotte laughs when he’s reached her on the landing. She gives him a sweet, loving kiss and whispers in his ear. “This is sooo much better than 'Gunsmoke', I guarantee you.”

"Okay, now you have me curious.”

“Follow me...give me you your hand”. The two ascend the staircase and you can see a glow ahead. Sidney is still clueless.

Charlotte takes his hand and leads him to the bathtub. Sidney is STUNNED. He looks at the tub. Looks at Charlotte. Looks at the beautiful setting. Looks in her eyes…

“Really?”

Charlotte nods. [I’m going to remember this moment forever. His reaction is priceless!]

[This is so beautiful! Perfect bubbles. (Of course, right?) Amazing candlelight and a woman, my WIFE, who is smiling and waiting for me. This has GOT to be a dream!]

“Do you like it, Sidney? It’s not jello, but…?” They both have a good laugh.

Sidney reaches over, grabs her waist and pulls her in to him; he holds one side of her face and kisses her long and passionately. “I love you so much, Charlotte. Thank you for doing this.”

Charlotte turns to him and starts unbuttoning his shirt.

“Myyyy pleasure.”


	37. "Charlie Rose"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> January 3rd - It's time for Sidney and his peach to go back to England. (Forgive me!) Sorry for any political offense! Charlotte definitely has an opinion as we’ve seen in the past.

This is the day Charlotte and Sidney`have dreaded. The plane isn’t until 7:00 so it’s almost a full day together.

“Let’s stay in bed all day.”

“Mmmm, I would love to but I do have things that need done today. I’ll put them off for a little while, though. Maybe come BACK to bed?”

“Come here!” Charlotte giggles and squeals as Sidney starts tickling her.

After several seconds the tickling stops, they look at each other and sigh.

Charlotte starts to glaze over with tears and Sidney pulls her in close and says, “It’s okay. We’ll figure it out. Please don’t cry.”

She can’t even respond. She just starts crying harder. “What am I going to do without you here?”

“We’ll make it work. You know we will. We’ll talk every day.” 

“I know. But I mean physically here. I need to feel you.”

“We’ll just have to hold on tight to each other from wherever we are. That’s all we can do.” Sidney pulls her in very tight.

After some time Charlotte settles down. No tears for now.

“Sidney, I have a girl name.”

(He laughs). “Really? I thought you had lost interest.” 

“No. No way. I’ve just been trying to find something I liked. It’s Charlie. Kind of like Charlotte.”

“Charlie. Charlie? Charlie Parker. I like it, Charlotte! It’s different AND sentimental.”

“I like that people will assume a boy. And just wait until SHE walks through the door! Like, ta-da! She’ll be smart and beautiful and confident.”

“And very, very feisty ! You just KNOW she will be. (Sidney laughs and Charlotte giggles.). Charlie Parker. Charlie (Rose) Parker. (Sidney pulls Charlotte in and kisses her forehead.) Mmmmm, I like that.” 

“I like ‘Charlie Rose’ together, too! Is it weird that we’re talking about children? A LOT!”

(Sidney laughs.) “Well, I think most people, once they’re married, entertain the thought of children and a family. I don’t think it’s weird. People do this BEFORE they’re married, too, you know!” (They both smile.)

“Do they now?”

“They most definitely do.” (Both giggle.)

“I’ve been thinking about children since I was a teenager!? I had it all figured out in my own little mind. A boy and a girl. A brunette and a blond. Charlotte giggles. That’s why I found it so sweet what you said about your vision. I absolutely believe in visions. I had a vision of YOU, Sidney!”

“Yeah, well...I need to talk to you about that.”

“Can we come back to that? There’s something I want to share and I need to say it before I lose my nerve. Regarding the baby thing...I have a request.”

“Ohhh, I like the way this sounds.”

“Please stop. You’re ridiculous, Sidney!” 

Charlotte takes a big breath and looks at Sidney. “I need to talk to you about something. (The tears are welling up in her eyes.) 

“Oh, boy!” (Charlotte has to look down. She’s getting flustered. The first drop comes down.)

[She’s staying pretty composed. Usually the flood gate opens. I’m not sure what’s going on here.]

“Charlotte? Are you okay?”

She nods “yes”. (Another tear comes down.) “Okay, this is hard for me to talk about, Sidney. So...umm…”

“Are you okay, Charlotte?” 

(She nods yes. The tears are slowly dropping one at a time.)

“Yeah. Ummmm…Do you remember my story about the pool?” [ I can’t even talk about this. It disgusts me. Me, having a prude’s mind I jump to the visual image and all I can do is cry. Everything about that encounter was sooo wrong! Even having conceived a baby it was so OPPOSITE of what I dreamed that moment would be. I wish it had never happened. Compare it to my time with Sidney and it just makes me incredibly sad. I wasted that experience on an ugly soul. I was a fool, in every sense.]

"Pool?"

“Yes. My back yard pool?” (Charlotte lifts her eyebrows.)

“Oh, my God! Pool. Yes. I’m on the page…”

“Next summer, will you help me make a new memory there? I love my pool but I have to say, I can’t get in without thinking of that. It haunts me. And it makes me incredibly sad...and...MAD, frankly! He didn’t deserve that part of me but I wanted a baby. I wanted a baby to love and distract me from my daily nightmare of a marriage. Conceiving or otherwise, everything about that experience felt wrong. I want to make it go away, Sidney. Please?”

[Charlotte’s eyes just went dead--another tear dropped on her cheek. There’s no life there. She’s so sad! Discussing that marriage at all is devastating to her. Changes her whole demeanor. I can still hear Scott say:

”There’s a lot wrapped up in that pretty little package and a lot of it is just below the surface. She’s really trying to keep it all together. She’s doing a really good job. There are just some things she’s still trying to sort out.”

“Charlotte, you’re breaking my heart right now! You don’t have to ASK me...or say ‘please’. Obviously, I’ve been teasing too much here and I’m sorry. Please look at me…(Charlotte drips another tear) I want to say this with sincerity because I know that was difficult for you to bring up. I even felt you tense up just now. 

“Charlotte, there’s nothing more beautiful than making love to you. I’m still in awe about us actually. About how we came to be. How our intimate times are so beautifully innocent. Thank you for that. (Sidney sweetly kisses her and finds her eyes.) Charlotte, I would like nothing more than to make love to you in the pool. And I’m saying, maaake loooovve. Completely. Only you and me, Charlotte. That would be amazing and incredibly special for me. Erasing Steve’s hold over you is my mission. So, yes. The answer is yes. I’m there! I will be grateful to be the one with you!” 

“Okay. (Charlotte wipes her last tear.) Thank you.”

“Charlotte you don’t have to THANK me! My God, if anything it is the other way around! 

"I don’t know how you do it, Charlotte, but you make me love you more and more—just by being you. Thank YOU for speaking up and being willing to share. I know that’s very difficult for you. I love you so much, Charlotte.” (The two exchange a gentle kiss. And Sidney pulls her in tightly.) 

“Thank you for understanding. I love you so much, Sidney. Don’t ever forget that.”

“I won’t. There is never a chance to forget you, Charlotte. I think of you constantly. I’m always wondering why I ever got so lucky to have found you. There’s no part of you I will EVER forget. I guarantee you.” 

“That means you have to come here next summer, you know!” (Charlotte giggles.) 

“Ahh! I see. This is a bribe! How very smart of you, Mrs. Parker! I love it! I’ll gladly participate! 

“I will most definitely be there. I promise!” (Sidney smiles and now there’s a passionate kiss.)

“Can I discuss last night and how amazing it was? What a wonderful gift, Charlotte. Thank you. Do you care to share your thoughts?”

“No.”

“Charlotte, are you serious? C’mon.”

“Did you not hear anything of what I’ve been saying? Please, Sidney. I can’t do that. It all was just too much! Unbelievable, really. I was overwhelmed.”

“Unbelievable in what way?”

“Please. No. I can’t do this.”

“I’m your hus-band! Can I not talk sex with you?”

“No you cannot! Please stop. I’d rather you demonstrate or something, than talk, frankly. The narrative makes me cringe.”

“Hell, yeah! I’ll demonstrate!” (Sidney raises on one elbow and leans over Charlotte.

“Mmmm...maybe that isn’t what I meant to say? (Charlotte laughs.) Well, Sidney! What I mean is talking about things makes me cringe. You do know what I mean, right? Talking about things embarrasses me. The prude lives on! Married or otherwise. It’s not appropriate conversation now, is it? So I just don’t talk about it! Why do you insist on talking about it anyway? It’s far more alluring to imagine what the other person is thinking. Right? It somehow makes things ‘dirty’ in my mind if you talk about it. My hangup, I totally own that.

“Once you talk about it, my mind conjures up an image and I feel like a peeping Tom or something. Or in our case, like someone is observing us! Those times are private, Sidney! For everyone involved! I’d just rather not talk about it. It feels invasive. It makes me nervous, actually. Maybe that’s a better way to describe it. Nervous? Anxious?

“Maybe in 10 years time I won’t blush when I talk about sex with you but for now? Leave me out of it!”

“Kinda hard to do that.”

“Oh, God! Please stop!”

“I could take that further.”

Charlotte lies still. Ponders. “Oh, that’s it!” She throws the covers off and grabs a tshirt to put on. Sidney pulls the t shirt out of her hands and kisses the back of her neck.

“Okay. Okay. Okay. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I won’t keep teasing. I promise. Come back to me. Please?" (Charlotte cringes and Sidney laughs and pulls her in tight.) “I love my little prude!” He sweetly kisses her forehead.

With comedic timing….”God, that was SUCH a good one, too! Well done! I need to brush up!” (Charlotte smiles to Sidney and winks.) Then she breaks out laughing! Laughing really hard. Tears. Like Grandma’s house. 

Sidney joins in. “SHOULD I take it further? Are you ready?”

“NO! You PROMmmmiised!”

After they come up for air…”Charlotte. It’s confession time, okay? I’ve got to back up to what I said before. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.”

“Yes?”

“You remember your wish list for a future husband?”

“Oh, you mean yet another time I cried over you?”

“Yes. Well, I am the one who put that list in your top drawer of your desk.”

“You did!? Here I was thinking that was Divine Intervention or Kharma or something.” 

“Well, it was Divine Intervention to find it in THAT desk!”

“And just what were you doing snooping in my desk, Mr. Parker?”

“I really was just looking for paper to write something down and that list like leaped into my hand. I’m not kidding about that.

“I read the title and figured I’d check it out. I read it twice and said, ‘Damn! This is me!’ I so desperately wanted you to marry me that I thought reading that list again would help my chances. Did it?”

“I must admit. I was pretty shocked. I had not seen that list for years! I had 23 things on my list and you had 22 out of 23 things. The only one you lacked was the ‘musical/play an instrument’. That’s why when you played the guitar I broke down. How could someone have all 23 things? And how could he have found his way to me?”

“Well, let's just double check that list." (Sidney rolls over and pulls the list out of the nightstand.)

"Ohh, look at you," giggles Charlotte. (Sidney gives a smug smile and giggles.)

"I had...HAVE...all of it! I honestly couldn’t believe it. Right down to brown curly hair—check. Dark eyes—check. Darker complexion—check. Between 5’11 and 6’2 in height—check. Plus other personal attributes. I think I have those, too.”

“Well, they told us to get specific so I DID! I knew what I wanted the father of my children to look like because I knew how my children looked. I had a “vision”. It’s weird, isn’t it? That whole thing went full circle back to here? To this moment.”

“I love your other requirements: Good sense of humor. OBVIOUSLY! Kind to self and others. Sense of loyalty. Serves others. Family man—maintains a relationship with his own family. Inherently Intelligent. Civic-minded. Has long term friends.”

“I remember they told us to put down physical desires. Some women got VERY specific! Very, VERY specific! I got as far as hair and eyes. The rest was a bit much….you know me! The prude. One was nice butt!?” 

“That was on there?” (Sidney holds up and reads the list.)

“No. I’m just kidding. It should be!?“ Charlotte looks up at Sidney and giggles.

“Sound character and solid sense of integrity.“ Sidney stops, realizing what he just said. He looks at Charlotte for her reaction. (She’s caught off guard. There IS NO reaction.) Sidney sighs and rolls over to lay flat on his back. Staring at the ceiling holding the list on his chest. 

Charlotte rolls toward him and holds the side of his face and goes cheek to cheek with him and whispers. “You don’t have to stop. I know that’s there. You are such a kind man. In order to be that kind and selfless, integrity and character have to be there. Okay?” She pulls back to see Sidney's face and a tear run sideways down his face, from eye to ear.

She wipes his tear, kisses his cheek and whispers, “We’re both hurting. It just takes time. We’ll figure it out.” Charlotte feels wetness on her cheek again. A second tear has come down. Charlotte wipes his tear and kisses his cheek again. “I love you sooo much, Sidney.” She holds her cheek next to his and her hand rubs his cheek on the other side of his face. There still is no response.

Charlotte turns and lays on her back, too. With perfect comedic timing, ”We’ve already found our way back to each other.” Charlotte giggles. Sidney lays there a few seconds longer and rolls over, softly laughing. ”I love you, my bride!” He then starts kissing her tenderly around her face and her neck and gets to her ear, “Yeah. That was a good one. Pret-ty good.” He starts softly laughing and Charlotte giggles along. [What am I going to do without her?] 

“This one: “Loves children and family. Maintains a relationship with his own family. You excel there, Mr. Parker.”

“ Educated. Check.”

“Wears clothes well.”

“Yeah!!! What is that? As opposed to whaaat...?”

“There are people who wear their clothes and others who the clothes wear THEM. I always appreciate a man who wears clothes well. They fill out the shirt proportionately. The body is in proportion torso to length of legs. Width of shoulders to waist. The pants hang well and straight. The clothes come limp off the hanger and they come alive on the body. It's having the proper posture. Confidence. You most definitely 'wear' the clothes, Sidney. I don’t know how to explain it. It's an attitude, too. Like Jason. He is a PERFECT example of that. He can put on jeans and a tshirt and he looks like a GQ ad. He was a model for 10 years.”

“What? Really?”

“Yeah. In Paris. He’s a good looking guy but don’t tell him I said that.”

“That’s funny. He said you were beautiful and no one was to tell you he said that.”

“Awwww, he did?? Really? Well, bless his heart. The dink!” (Charlotte giggles.)

“You know, I miss him. He’s very mellow. He balanced out me and Scott. And he’s MUSICAL! Did I ever tell you what he does?” 

“No.”

“He’s a musical artist for Disneyland Paris. He performs in their biggest, most popular show. He plays banjo."

“No kidding? That’s unreal! I guess you Heywoods all are involved in the arts.”

“Yes! And that was on the list! Participates in and appreciates the arts. Music lover. Dancer. Loves movies. Loves to read. Loves animals. Caregiver for sick or elderly.”

“Yeah, that one was interesting.” 

“It was because of my mom. That’s such an essential need. You have to grow your heart in order to sustain that care. I wasn’t happy with my dad. He left my mom alone. Often. Even in the advanced stages of her illness. She definitely was a danger to herself at that point! If I would have been in town and saw that personally all hell would have unleashed on him...I guarantee you! I kept asking Scott to do something but Mary didn’t want to get involved. ("Dad would ignore us anyway, probably.") There would be no ignoring me, that’s for damn sure.”

(Sidney hugs Charlotte and kisses her forehead.). “I have no doubt oh feisty one. My tiger cub.”

“When we’d talk on the phone and he would complain or belittle my mom I would say 'for better, for worse/in sickness as in health'. She can’t help it, Dad!' Sometimes I’d get pissed enough to say, 'Dad, you’re all she has! Scott isn’t her husband!' Another conversation I reminded him 'if the roles were reversed she’d be right there, wiping the drool off your chin'. That shut him up. He knows that’s true and a guarantee because of my mom’s devotion. No wonder he had that attitude and said those things. Those solemn, sacred vows had already been broken—long ago. 

“Did I ever tell you his girlfriend’s house is like 100 yards from where my mom lived? You can see from front door to front door. Wanna guess where he’d go when he’d leave her alone? I wonder? Someone would have to prove it to me otherwise. Ohhh, shit. I’m sorry. I never should have gone there. Oh, God. I’m so sorry, Sidney. This time should be about us. (Semi-conscious, talking out loud, “He’s such an a**hole!”).”

“No. It’s okay. We’ve never discussed these details and I’ve wanted to know. We’ve been too busy talking about CHILDREN!” (They both laugh and Sidney tickles her again. He rolls over on top of Charlotte.)

“Ahhh! No! Please! Stop!" (Charlotte giggles) Charlotte finds Sidney’s eyes and smiles. "Thank you for that, Sidney.”

“For what? Tickling you? I can do more.”

“No! No! That’s not it! Stop now!” (She’s moving from giggling to outright laughing.)

“For making me laugh. For taking the sting out of things. That’s one of the MANY things I love about you.” Charlotte rolls Sidney onto his back and proceeds to kiss his (beautiful) chest and moves to his neck and lips...and Sidney shivers. (Charlotte giggles.) 

“Charlotte, that is incredible! I swear to you, that’s almost as good as sex! Well, almost. Kinda. Sorta.(Sidney's giggling) Maybe. Nah. But you know what I mean. (Sidney sighs. Charlotte giggles some more.) You’re amazing and I am so glad you’re mine now. I never thought much about God until I met you. You’re teaching me, Charlotte. Like Robin said you do for others. I now truly understand what a blessing is. A gift from God when you don’t actually deserve it. You haven’t earned it. He’s personally giving you that gift and it's yours to adore and take care of.”

[I can't believe what I'm hearing. I am constantly surprised at his depth of caring. I love being part of that self-discovery.] “Thank you for that, Sidney.” Charlotte reaches up, kisses Sidney’s neck and cheek and then nibbles on his ear. 

“Ahhh, shit. No waaaay! Is this really happening? Charlotte, my God…” (Sidney shivers.)

She whispers in his ear, “You love it?”

Almost breathless, “This is amazing. Of course I love it.”

“Well, it’s myyyy pleasure!”

______________________________________

“Okay, we need to get something to eat and print your boarding pass. Check on your flight. Wouldn’t it be a shame if it were cancelled or late? Where’s that good ol’ Minnesota blizzard when you need one?”

(Charlotte heads off to the office.) Sidney half smiles. “I’ll make lunch. What do you want?”

“I’m going to go with a salad. Pretzel chips and hummus. Maybe split some fruit with you?”

“Sounds good. Italian dressing?”

“Yes. Please. I LOVE that you know that!” (She smiles at Sidney and he winks.) [Oh, God. What am I going to do without him here?]

[I don’t know how I’m going to get through this afternoon. When she cries I just want to give in and cry, too. I’ve never had to say goodbye to someone before. Not like this. Can I even do this?]

“Thank you! I’m sure going to miss you every morning and mealtimes. I’m going to miss seeing you in the kitchen. I’m going to miss YOU, Sidney.” They just sweetly smile at each other as Sidney drops off the food at her desk. [I’ve got to start facing this. We have just hours left until who knows when we are together again.]

“So, I wanted to talk to you about the airport deal. You know, I can’t go with you very far in the airport. I was wondering if it might be better to have you Uber over there.”

(Sidney laughs) ”YOU? Fall apart?”

“Don’t laugh. You know I will be a blubbering idiot.”

“THIS is true!”

“Sidney!”

“Well, let’s say….things get you going. Is that fair?”

“Yes. Fair enough. I’ll try to be good though. Okay?”

“I want feel you next to me and touch your silky hair and smell your perfume when I have to say good bye. I’ll take you in whatever state of consciousness that may be! (Sidney laughs). Actually, I think Uber might be a good idea.”

“Then you can FaceTime me as you’re waiting to board, or something. Send me some selfies or texts?”

“Yeah. I think that’s a good idea. Less confusion.”

Sidney and Charlotte just look at each other.

[I can’t believe I have to say good bye? For how long? Oh, God. I am so nauseated right now.]

Charlotte heads straight to him and goes straight for Sidney’s chest and wraps her arms around his torso. Sidney does his usual and surrounds her with his arms and his love. And they hold each other. For a long time. There’s such peace in this ritual. There’s so much love in this ritual.

After several minutes they let go and look at each other. There’s an unspoken longing. Already.

“Sidney, I thought maybe we’d take a walk after lunch. Are you interested? Maybe challenge that coat a bit. It’s 8 degrees out there.”

“Uhhhh, sure!” [The next time I come it’s going to be warmer months. This cold is insane. How do people do it here?]

[I’m sure he’s calculating celsius. I’m laughing 'cause I see every bit of me in him from when I moved up here. It’s horrid! I wish I could leave from January 1-April 15th. One of these days we’re going to get to do that...I pray.]

“Not far. Maybe just down to the bridge and back?”

“Now THAT makes the tundra walk worth it!” (Sidney laughs and sends a wink to Charlotte.)

_________________________

“So you’re blending in as a Minnesotan with that coat. Now just don’t open your mouth and blow it! "Charlotte giggles.

“Charlotte, I want to thank you for making this visit so special. Of course, marrying you was my ultimate goal but had that not happened THIS time, I had such a wonderful time here! You were a gracious host. I loved what we were able to do and I’m already prioritizing what I want to do when I come back.”

“When will that be, Sidney?” 

(Sidney faces her and holds her hands.) “Ohhh, that small detail. I don’t know, Charlotte. I think we can set a general goal of seeing each other maybe quarterly…? Every 3 months or so? LIke March?l April? Think how wonderful things will be once this Visa is figured out!”

Charlotte drops her head and looks at the ground. [I can’t cry. Just because I don’t like the news it doesn’t mean I can cry about it. Sidney is doing what he can.]

Charlotte looks up with a smile. “I can’t wait for those visits!”

Sidney looks in her eyes and says, “Yes.” (He smiles sweetly at Charlotte and his eyes start to glaze over with tears.)

Charlotte opens her arms to give Sidney a hug. “I wish I could hug you as good as you hug me! Which is amazing by the way.” (Charlotte throws her arms around Sidney’s neck and whispers, “I love you Sidney Parker...from Mrs. Parker.” And she giggles. Sidney tightens his grip on Charlotte.

When she steps back she sees Sidney has been crying. Like before, she wipes the tears and kisses each cheek and then gives him a sweet loving kiss.

“I know. It’s killing me, too.” Charlotte says, ”As if defeated. But I refuse to be a victim here, Sidney. Maybe we can speed up the process? I can’t wait until Babs gets his fingers into it. He’ll know what to do. And we can come and go between countries. That’s good! Now we just need to find time off from work.” (Charlotte shrugs her shoulders.)

“Promise me one thing.”

“Sure, what?”

“No nude Zoom calls. The prude couldn’t handle that so don’t even ask!”

Sidney is laughing. He reaches to put his hand on Charlotte’s cheek and then just looks in her eyes. [This...is my WIFE! How did I get so lucky? I love her more than I thought possible and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life! It’s all because of her.]

“Charlotte, it’s times like these when I’m so glad I went after you. To think I would miss out on you and this relationship is unfathomable. What would I be doing right now? Working in the office. Hanging out with Babs, Esther and Crowe and hopelessly wishing for “the one”. I’m not young anymore! I want a family by 40 and a good mother for my children. I wanted an equal partner to share my life with. There was never anyone like you that crossed my path!?

“That’s how I knew. It was you. You were unique--funny and charming. Smart and sensitive with a beautiful smile and addictive laugh. And nice legs, too! (Sidney grins at Charlotte.) You’re perfect for me and I thank you for letting me in under such strange circumstances. I love you, Mrs. Parker.”

“I am NEVER going to get tired of hearing that. ‘Mrs. Parker’. I am never going to get tired of seeing your beautiful face and eyes on the pillow next to me in the morning.” [Oh, God. Tomorrow morning is going to suck!]

They both smile at each other and lock arms and continue walking.

“I’m not going to regret my decision to move here, Charlotte. I look forward to exploring these beautiful cities with you. Making it my home. I’m going to have sweet memories of this bridge.”

“You should get a picture of it.”

“I have! Came down a few days ago!”

“What I want are some selfies.”

“Oh, God! I am the WORST at selfies.” 

“I’m allergic to them. Still want some, though.” Sidney looks at Charlotte and smiles. “So here we go!” The usual side by side, kiss on the cheek, goofy face and sultry pose.

“These aren’t half bad. Look!” 

“YOU look fabulous! You’re very photogenic, Sidney. Tall, Slender. Great hair! Beautiful complexion. And you wear clothes well. Maybe YOU should model”

“Charlotte. Please.”

Charlotte giggles and wraps around Sidney’s arm. [I’m only half kidding. He IS....well, like that Hugo Boss model, frankly!] “If my brother can do it...I think you’re every bit as handsome as the Hugo Boss man. [You look like the Hugo Boss man. Incredibly so! Now, he’s always my golden standard. Jason did runway shows for Hugo Boss and other designers. He was a regular. Beautiful men’s wear--especially on my brother. Let’s give him some credit, I guess, even if he is a dork. American women can definitely relate to the intrigue and sensuality of the print models and most know about the Hugo Boss ‘Babe”. Woooo! Dreamy! Yes! Please!" 

“So that’s why he’s on your bulletin board?" 

"Exactly. And I personally cannot say more without giving myself hives. (Charlotte looks at Sidney and giggles.) OH! I’m going to have to break it to him that I’m off the market now. I was always going to marry him. He just didn’t know it. Look now. I ended up marrying his cousin!”

“Did you know Hugo Boss designed the uniforms for the Third Reich? They WERE beautiful, I will say.”

“Charlotte, how do you know this stuff?”

“I keep my eyes and ears open I guess you could say.”

[She amazes me. That’s so true. She’s soaking up info all day long. That’s her ADHD working in her favor. She can cover a lot of ground.]

“Sooooo, how do you feel? Warm enough?”

“Yes. So much better now!”

“I’ll let you make the hot chocolate while I finish up my work. I need YOU!”

“Oh, man. Don’t go there. I've already lost it once.”

They exchange knowing smiles. Sidney squeezes Charlotte’s hand and kisses it.

1:30 PM

Sidney is watching “Gunsmoke” when Charlotte walks into the room. “What time do you need to leave for the airport?”

“Well, they want you there 3 hours ahead for international flying I should leave no later than 3:30 probably.”

“Well, I have something for you. Hold out your hands and close your eyes and you will get a big surprise!”

Sidney dutifully holds out his hands and shuts his eyes. Charlotte places the gift in his hand. “Okay! Open them!”

Sidney looks at the fish cracker in his hand and starts laaauuughing. “Are you sure? Did you get your stuff done?”

“VERY sure!” Charlotte nods “yes” and smiles a huge grin.

“Yes, please.” [“Gunsmoke” goes off! Weasley gets passed to the floor. Pending engagement.]

Sidney picks up Charlotte and walks her to the bed and lays her down.” (Charlotte is giggling.) He crawls across the bed, lays next to her and says. I want to just hold you first. (Fully clothed.) Okay?

Charlotte turns to him and says, “You are the sweetest man. I’m so happy you’re mine.”

“When I’m done holding you I’ll take one of those Charlotte kisses!” (Sidney giggles.)

“It will be myyyy pleasure!” [Oh my God, I love him soo much. My heart is breaking.]

_______________________

“Shhhhhh. It will be alright, Charlotte. I’ll be back soon.”

“Not soon enough. How far away is he?”

“According to the Uber map, 6 minutes.”

Charlotte leans back to see Sidney and he has one hand on her face. Her face is completely wet from tears. Sidney happens to have kleenex in his pocket. Imagine that…? He slowly wipes her face and looks in her eyes. [They’re beautiful. Green. I want to look in those eyes every day. I have to get back to her. I need to be near her.]

At that, Sidney starts to cry. He hugs her tightly and leans down to give her his final kiss. (Charlotte gets the very last one.)

Oh, my God. We ARE actually doing this!” Sidney breaks down. Tears upon tears. Sidney never shows this much emotion. He just pulls her in tight and teardrops fall into her hair.

Charlotte leans back and reaches to him and strokes one side of his hair. The other hand remains on the side of his face. “I love you, Sidney Parker.”

“I love you, Charlotte Parker.” They share a passionate kiss and Charlotte goes to hold his face and gives Sidney a “Sanditon kiss", maybe with a little extra passion.

“Oh, that gives me the shivers, Charlotte. When you do that I’m right back there. I was so excited to get to touch you that night. I was more excited that a door opened and I could try and reach you. Thank you again, Charlotte, for letting me in. For just being you and loving me through all of this. I know, things haven’t been easy. I understand that.”

Charlotte puts her index finger on Sidney’s mouth and says, “Huuusssshh. I want to hear your heart. Please cuddle with me again.”

They get two minutes of cuddling in before the Uber pulls up

Charlotte looks out the window and says, “They’re here. Oh, God.” She turns to Sidney and here come the tears.

Come here. Sidney pulls her in. He’s glazed over but trying to keep his composure for Charlotte. “I love you so much, Charlotte.” 

“Sidney, I love YOU sooo much!. Don’t you ever forget that. Did you ever realize we say “I love you” a 100 times a day? Why?”

“Because I do! And those words relay the message quickly!” (They both giggle.)

“I’ll be in touch when I land and let's have our first ZOOM call tomorrow. Okay?”

“Okay”. Charlotte is barely keeping it all together. They smile through tears at each other.

Sidney puts his hand on the doorknob and that triggers something in Charlotte. A realization that when he walks out the door he isn’t coming back for an undetermined amount of time.

“Oh, my God! Sidney! She puts her hand to her mouth and just lets go.” [This is too much emotion going on.]

Sidney hugs her. “It’s okay. Shhhh. It will be okay. It just sucks right now. We’ll be okay.” He brings Charlotte over and gives her a kiss on her forehead. Charlotte grabs the collar of his coat and buries her face in. “Charlotte, I promise you, we’ll see each other again, soon. I’m sorry but I have to go.”

Charlotte stands back and wipes her tears with her sweat shirt. “Okay. Okay.” [Get your shit together, Charlotte. This isn’t fair to Sidney.]

Charlotte and Weasley head out the door and she grabs Sidney’s arm as he passes.

The driver pops the trunk and Sidney puts his bag in, shuts the tailgate and turns and looks at Charlotte. “I’m sorry I have to go. We’ll be back together soon, Charlotte. And at least with this Visa we can come and go between our countries.”

“Well, I tell you, if Trump is re-elected, I’m coming your way.”

“Whaaat?” (Sidney is starting to laugh.) [Aaand she’s off! She just fills my heart with so much joy. What can I say? This is when she lures me in. It doesn’t make leaving any easier.]

“Seriously! I’m totally serious! I can’t put up with 4 more years of his juvenile behavior! Someone needs to hack and shut off that ridiculous twitter account of his! Why doesn’t someone take that away from him. Sooo unprofessional.” 

“I have to go, Charlotte. I’m sorry.”

“Oooops! Sorry, Sidney. Of course you do. I went off there.” (Charlotte smiles and Sidney smiles a huge grin!)

[God, I love this girl! I love her so much! And I got her to stay! She’s my WIFE—after all that stuff we went through.]

“It’s okay. I love your fiery outbursts. As long as they aren’t meant for me.”

One more snuggle held very, very lovingly and a sweet, loving kiss.

“I love you so much, Sidney.” Sidney crawls in on the seat and places his carry on bag in the footwell behind the driver. “Hey, nice butt! I’m going to add that to my list!” (Charlotte gives a swat and smiles a devilish grin to Sidney.)

(Sidney reacts to the slap.). “Well, I love you, too. (Then he starts laughing.) Now THAT I didn’t expect, Ms. Prude!”

“I just want to tease you one more time. I’m going to miss that. I’m going to miss YOU, Sidney. Travel safely and give me updates along the way.”

Sidney smiles, “Of course.” (One last quick kiss.) [We would have satellite radar tracking devices on each other if we could. I hate letting you out of my sight, Charlotte Parker.]

Sidney shuts the door with a small wave and off he goes, down the hill.

Charlotte waves as the car descends the hill. [Just like that…? Just like that he’s gone; I tried to be light-hearted and fun….? Was I? That’s my husband leaving me! Oh my God! Ohhhh, I really don’t do “alone” very well.] Charlotte walks in the house, heads for the armchair and lulu-looooses it!

__________________________

About 30 minutes later Charlotte pulls it together enough to text Sidney. “It’s on the list!”

Sidney texts back the thumbs up.

Following that he texts the heart.

Charlotte responds and sends the PEACH emoji!

The text back says, “Awww, c’mon! You’re killin’ me here!” He sends the smiley face laughing with tears back to Charlotte. [People are looking at me I’m laughing so hard.] “I love you so much! Thank you!” [ God...I love this girl SO much! Thank YOU!]

"Myyyyyyy pleasure!" (Smiley face with hearts around face emoji) 

(Heart) <3 U. [Oh, my God. How am I ever going to get through this?]

(Heart) <3 U2 [I underestimated how much this is going to hurt.]


	38. "Dr. Charlotte Parker"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I love you. I've missed you. Can we do lunch?" There's nothing like our couple together. They truly do love one another deeply. When are they going to be together for good?

Charlotte has been enjoying her new job at the University of Minnesota. She’s an interim professor and will be teaching through the end of the semester as a Linguist. Today she’s a guest lecturer for the Psychology Department. It’s a beautiful spring day on campus and per usual there’s no parking near McGinty Hall. One more loop around the lot and there’s a spot. In her peripheral vision Charlotte sees a figure dressed in dark clothing standing in the courtyard of the building.

When she’s pulling in, with a look through the windshield, she determines it’s a man in a suit. [He’s just standing there. That’s kinda creepy. Should I get out? Yes. Be brave, Charlotte. It’s broad daylight! Don’t be paranoid. Make eye contact. Do not back down.] Talking to herself, “I’ll keep one leg in the car, just in case.”

Charlotte steps out of the car, one leg in the footwell and peers confidently over the top of her car in order to make eye contact with the stranger. She looks at the eyes then the face and... it’s Sidney! “Sidney?“ He smiles that little s**t grin and Charlotte doesn’t even close the door on her car. She takes off running and leaps into his arms.

Sidney laughs and holds her very tightly and buries his face into her hair and smells her perfume. [My God. That’s it.] With her mouth pressed into Sidney’s neck she muffles, “I love you. Oh, my God! I love you soo much!”

“I love you, too.” (Sidney chuckles)

Sidney lets her down and she’s off on a rant...

“Oh, my God!! Are you really here?” (She stares at him in disbelief.) “Why are you here? Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” Sidney wastes no time and interrupts her. He holds her face in his hands and kisses her with passion and with 4.5 months of unrequited love.

“Well, o-KAY then. Those lessons paid off!” (Charlotte and Sidney both start to laugh.). “I can’t believe it’s YOU!”

Then Sidney speaks and there’s that familiar, beautiful voice…”Charlotte, can we eat crackers in bed tonight?” 

[Ahhh, that voice melts me!]

“With peanut butter,” Charlotte giggles. Sidney reaches out for her and wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her in. All Charlotte can do is smile and look over his beautiful face.“ Oh, Sidney. I have missed you SO much!”

“This whole thing has been a nightmare, Charlotte. You have no idea how amazing it is to hear your voice in person now. I don’t know what I would have done without your recording. I’d listen to it every day and on bad days, multiple times. Thank you again, Charlotte, for thinking of that. You wouldn’t believe how much that helped me.” 

“Awww, you’re so welcome. I’m glad it helped you. YOU need to make ME a recording, Sidney. Help me get to sleep at night. I can’t go this long again. That was so, so difficult to not have you laying with me. I need you to spoon with me tonight.”

“Of course! I need that too.” (Sidney pulls Charlotte in, in a tight hug.)

“I couldn’t WAIT to get back to you! I don’t want to let you go again, Charlotte. We’re going to have to do SOMETHING different. Okay? Promise me we’ll make a change. Multiple trips or something?’ [Maybe come to Sanditon for the summer?]

Bottom line, I need you with me. Sooo, Charlotte, that’s why I’m here. I’m being called back for a final, face-to-face interview, for a job that keeps me coming to the US.”

“What! Are you serious!?“ (Charlotte has both hands at her mouth.)

“Yes!” (Sidney laughs and nods his head.)

“Really?” (Charlotte’s eyes light up and she’s squeeling.)

“Yes!” (Sidney is laughing now and admiring Charlotte’s reaction.)

“Your school is out next week, right?”

“Yes! I’ll have summer time free. But I really should pick up a job if anything becomes available. And don’t forget! You owe me a summer visit, Mr. Parker! Remember?” (Charlotte winks.)

“Ohhh, that’s riiiiight.” Sidney pulls Charlotte in close and goes cheek to cheek with her. “We’ll make it right. You and me. I promise you. I love you. God, I can’t say that enough! I missed you sooo much! I’m here for 3 weeks, Charlotte.” 

“You ARE?!” (Her hands go back up to her face.)

“Yes!” 

(Charlotte leaps into Sidney’s arms again.) “Oh, my God, are you serious!?” (More squeeling)

“Yes! I absolutely HAVE TO be with you, Charlotte! I have missed you more than I even realized. Seeing you now I realize how MUCH I missed you. I love you, Mrs. Parker. I have to have you with me. Not optional. (He’s loving Charlotte’s excited response.)

“Here we go--the I love you echo! I love you too, Sidney Parker. I have missed having you near me. Maybe I should challenge you to a match of who missed whom the most!? I’d WIN! I’m sure of it!”

“I doubt that. Let’s exchange horror stories tonight, shall we?” 

"That sounds so romantic! Sooo....fill me in on this job. What is the full story? I have a lecture in 35 minutes. Please help me watch the time. First, how did you find me?”

“You said you were giving a lecture today. Psychology Department. Freshmen. I figured out when freshman psychology students have class today and where!”

“You ARE resourceful, Sidney Parker. Like figuring out flight schedules.” (Charlotte giggles.) “Tell me more about this job. Do you think there’s a chance, Sidney?”

“Yeah, I do. I think there’s a REALLY good chance. I think this trip is a formality. We’ve been talking virtually up until now. I didn’t want to say anything because I wasn’t sure which way things would go. I didn’t want to raise hopes until I jumped through some hoops. I’m meeting with some people today about doing real estate development here in the US. The company is based out of London and they specialize in resorts and hotels. I’m interviewing to be their project manager and liaison between the US and London offices.”

“This sounds GREAT! How did you ever hear of such a position?”

“Guess? The friend who always has my back.”

“Babs?”

“Yes. He’s been incredible with all this Visa stuff, too, Charlotte. I think we’ll knock off at least a 4 months in processing time, if not more, because of his help. Thinking more like 14 months rather than 18 months. We’re 4 months into things so maybe a year from now? March? April? On the outside? Maybe he can speed it up even more.

“Oh, my God. That would be sooo great!”

"He’s got contacts all over England due to his family’s philanthropic work. He happened to mention me in conversation and the miracle of networking responded. He made some inquiries and sent me the info. I contacted the company and it took off from there. I’m a perfect fit. I’m hoping they see me that way.”

“That’s amazing. HE’S amazing! How fortunate you are, Sidney. Everyone needs a friend like that.”

“Yeah, he ‘did me a solid’. Is that right? That’s a US term.”

“Yes. That’s right and YES this would be incredible!! When would you know?”

“Within the week. This is so ideal, Charlotte. It would be incredible for us."

"We need to put this in our prayers, Sidney."

”Of course.” [Let’s see this power of prayer business.]

“Give me more details.”

“There would be lots of travel between the two countries, paid by the company. We’re talking at least once a month and I'd stay for several days each time. According to Dan, that’s what the Visa people like to see. Frequent visits together. He says we also need to get some joint accounts, too. Can I PLEASE join you in making your house payments?”

[Why did you jump right to the mortgage? Scott’s definitely called you, hasn’t he? He won’t ever keep anything to himself. The situation is pretty scary again I will say. I’m actually very worried.]

“Well, we can talk about that. I haven’t really been truthful about that stuff. Let’s talk later on.”

[I know. I can’t imagine that burden, Charlotte. I’ve been waiting to hear all about that from you. Let me help, PLEASE.]

“Anyway, I could bide my time while we’re waiting on this Visa/green card. I won’t be violating any conditions of a visa because the company is in London. With any luck and with my visa and green card approved, I can be hired by the US headquarters, here in Minneapolis and start work right away when I move here. My green card will already be approved with this CR-1 Visa. The fiance visa has 8 additional months to approve the green card. I think we made the right choice there.”

“It has been an unforGETtable experience, surprising you! I will never forget the look on your face. I love you so much, Charlotte Parker. Watching you run toward me with that smile on your face is something I will always recall, whenever needed.” Sidney has his hands around Charlotte’s face and is stroking her hair back away from her face. [Look at me, Charlotte...do you see? Can you tell? You are literally my world now.]

[Sidney is staring. Why? What did I do?] “I’ll never forget it either! I thought you were some kind of creeper!" (They laugh. Charlotte notices he’s looking at her.) [Is he looking at me in admiration? Why is he looking at me like that? Aww. I hope he knows how much I adore him.] “So, tell me more. This US company is here in Minneapolis? This sounds waaay too good to be true!” 

“I’ll never be able to thank Dan enough. He has always been good to me, you know it? I owe him. Yes, US headquarters are here in Minneapolis. What are the chances, huh? There are several branches around the US. And of course, the main headquarters is in London.”

“Can I just say, because I’m compleeeetely distracted right now and I can’t pay attention; you are so incredibly handsome, Sidney! My GOD! ‘Be still my beating heart.’ I’ve never seen you in a suit before!! Ve-ry HAWT!! Tsssss.” (She puts her hand in the air and taps an imaginary stove burner.)

[That’s my girl!] 

“I can’t say anymore or I’ll embarrass myself.” (Charlotte leans over and gives a quick kiss.). “HOH, my God!” (Charlotte’s stomach flips and she’s kissing her own husband!) “That’s crazy!” (She is most definitely turning red so she lays her chin down on her chest to hide her face and starts trying to catch her breath.) [This is so weird! I just had a schoolgirl moment with my OWN husband! What the???] “I’m sorry, Sidney. I’m sleep deprived and I haven’t had breakfast. [What is wrong with me?]

“What...? Are you okay?”

Charlotte giggles and lifts her head. There are slight tears coming out of the corners of her eyes. “I don’t know! (She smiles and laughs with Sidney.) I’m having a Charlotte moment. I can’t believe you’re mine!” (Charlotte throws her arms around Sidney’s neck and just stares into his eyes.) “Remember when you cried when you proposed because you were so happy. I think I’m there! I’m just so happy to be with you.” (She smiles and laughs. Aaaaand, here come the real tears. Charlotte can’t even look at him.) 

Her hand goes up to her mouth...“I’m sorry. This is awkward. Really, Sidney, I’m going to try not to cry the whole time you’re here. I promise.” (Charlotte smiles through the tears.)

“Hey, hey, hey.” (Sidney puts his hands on the side of her face.) “Shhhh...that means so much. Really, it does. I totally understand. I remember what that’s like! Thank you, Charlotte. I’m very flattered.” (Charlotte continues to cry.) “Shhh. It’s okay.” Sidney pulls her in.

“I’m just happy, you know…? (Wiping tears.) I’m happy to see you. I’m happy to be your wife. I know I am so blessed.”

“I get it! I’ve felt all those same things. I love you, Mrs. Parker!” (He makes eye contact, smiles the sweetest smile and pulls her in closer.) 

“I love you, too.” (They exchange an “I’ve missed you” [a lot] kind of kiss.)

Charlotte signals for a snuggle and takes position. Sidney wraps her up. They just stand and hold each other. They’re getting good at this silence thing. No need to talk. They know what the other is thinking. Several minutes pass. [Oh, my God. I love feeling his body against mine. Uhhh! Its been so long.]

[How can I ever leave this again? (I can't.) I need to be able to feel her.]

“Well, I should probably be going so I can get ready. What are you doing? When is your interview? 

“Not until 3:00 so maybe we can ‘do lunch’...? Would you like that?”

Charlotte reaches over and runs her fingers through his hair. “Lunch with my HUSBAND sounds amazing! I’ll be done around 12:00 noon.”

“Ohhh, I intend on sitting in on the lecture.”

“Noooo! Please don’t do that!”

“Oh, yes. I’ve seen you ‘perform’ before. You KILLED it! Besides which, you have those silver bangles on.”

They both look at each other and smile.

“If you’re coming in you must sit in the center, ⅓ down from the top. I don’t want you in a corner. You’re DEFINITELY a distraction for this ADHD girl and I want to float the whole room as I speak.”

“Can do. (Sidney takes her hands.) Charlotte, I want you to know how really PROUD I am of you. Of all that you’ve accomplished in a short time. Of how far you’ve come since your divorce. And how you had a dream and made it happen. You need to really give yourself credit for that.”

[Like Jason said: “She worked really hard to move beyond that heartbreak (divorce) and I’d like it if she could take care of herself for once. Make decisions of her own, for herself, considering her own dreams.”]

“Thank you, Sidney. That means so much.“ (She smiles with sincere gratitude.) She puts her hand on the side of his face and says, “I’m going to say this a million times over because I know how hard this all is. I love you so much, Sidney. Don’t ever doubt that. Remember that you always have me on this end. So hold on for me, okay?”

Sidney puts his hand on top of hers while still on his face. “I will never doubt that, Mrs. Parker.” Sidney then kisses her hand and then raises her chin and gives another outSTANDing kiss.

“Ohhhh, myyyy. (She and Sidney start to laugh.). I can’t wait for those crackers tonight.“

“Charlotte...LUNCH!”

Charlotte looks at Sidney quizatively and says “Yes. Lunch. Oh, OHHHH! LUUU-UNNCH! Sorry! The prude. (She points at herself.) My mind didn’t go there.” (She blushes and smiles back. It’s hard for her to make eye contact now.)

Sidney just smiles. [I have sooo missed you, Charlotte!]

(Charlotte and Sidney REALLY start to laugh about that! Charlotte can hardly stop laughing—the instigator! They both are laughing with tears.)

“O-kay...well then...um...wellll a...this is a unique lecture. (She smiles at Sidney, she bites her lip and winks.) I’m hoping to make it memorable. Someone saw this presentation when I did it at a local NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) meeting back in January and asked me to do it here for freshman students and miscellaneous faculty. That’s a little nerve-wracking!” 

“You told me about this! You thought it went well.”

“Well, that’s almost 4 months ago! I’m hoping I can recall.” (Sidney raises his eyebrows like ‘You? Have trouble with recall?’)

“I think it was different. That’s why they liked it. I have no idea what the reception will be with this type of audience. Students can be a tough crowd. This is four to five times the size of my original audience. I’m expecting 120+ people. That’s pretty scary.”

“You’ll kill it! Can’t wait!”

“Thank you. I can’t wait for LUNCH! (Charlotte giggles and has a HUUUGE smile on her face..) Gotta run.”

Sidney grabs her arm, turns her back around. [Picture it first.] He delivers another aMAzing kiss. 

Charlotte steps back and smiles. “I LOVE it, Sidney! Wow! Thank you! Ritz crackers for lunch, saltines tonight!” (She’s giggling like a school girl.)

They both laugh.

Sidney holds her at the waist and teasingly asks, “You like?”

“I LOVE! (Charlotte whispers in his ear) Thank you. You’re my prize student!”

“Myyy pleasure!”

_____________________________

Charlotte is at the white board as people are filing in and writes, “Dr. Charlotte Parker” on the board and writes her email address and office phone number. She also writes the main message of the lecture on the board: “Bipolar manifests itself differently in each individual. Lifestyle & Medication!” She turns around and Sidney is sitting dead center and sends her a big smile and a nod. She smiles back. [That is the last time I better look at him or I’ll be the ADHD, inattentive type, poster girl.] 

“Good morning, everyone!”

(Mumble, mumble ) "Good morning." (Spoken softly)

“Let’s try that again. Good morning almost lunch time, everyone!”

They take the bait. The audience repeats “Good morning almost lunch time” louder this time.

Charlotte laughs. “Thank you for that! I love it!” She starts up her power point presentation and is grateful it’s working! [Now if only the audio works we’re in business--please God.]

"Welcome, everyone! Today I’m talking about Bipolar Disorder. Formerly known as Manic Depression. THERE ARE 5 TYPES OF BIPOLAR DISORDER. We will go over each type and the defining characteristics of each one. We will talk about how a Bipolar diagnosis is determined. We will thoroughly discuss symptoms of mania. We will also talk about symptoms of the depression side of bipolar.

"In full disclosure, I was diagnosed Bipolar Type 2, seven years ago at age 25. I’ll share more on that later.

"First, I want to point out my information on the board. Copy it down and please feel free to email me or call me whenever you’d like. I also want to ask you to forward my contact information along to whomever you feel needs to talk with someone--anyone you feel needs help. Family, friends or an individual who may be experiencing bipolar symptoms. This is a personal mission for me so I would love to be a resource.

"I’ve left you space on the handout so hopefully you’ll take some notes. PLEASE! Pretty please! (The room laughs.) On the board is what I want you to take away from the lecture today and we will revisit this many times. ‘Bipolar disorder manifests itself differently in each person. Lifestyle & Medication!’” (She reads both statements out loud.)

"One more thing I want to clarify is I’ll be intermittently exchanging between 1st person (I, me, my’) and 3rd person, (you, your, they, them) throughout the talk.

"Now...first I’d like to demonstrate the disorder with a visual aid. (Charlotte takes her two hands and puts the finger tips touching each other.) This is the brain of those who have any disorder, such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or Bipolar Disorder. The neurotransmitters are simply not lining up in order so there is miscommunication in the brain. Charlotte clasps her hand closed with her fingers in order. (Like for praying.) THIS is the brain of someone who doesn’t have a disorder. It’s DIFFERENT, but NOT better. This is why I’d like you to refer to BP as a “DIS” order because the transmitters are simply out of order. It is not an “illness”. These people are not sick.

"About 2.5% of the US population has some form or bipolar disorder--nearly 6 million people. Let’s identify the 5 different types of bipolar and their specific characteristics. They are Bipolar types 1 and 2, Rapid Cycling, Mixed Bipolar Episodes and Cyclothemia."

"Bipolar 1: 

"Involves manic episodes lasting 7 days or longer. Or there’s severe enough mania requiring hospitalization. They may also experience a major depressive episode that lasts 2 weeks or more. Specific to Bipolar 1, there is the potential for a psychotic break. What is a psychotic break? Simply put, that’s a break with reality--with the real world. 

"Bipolar Type 2: 

"This is the hardest one to diagnose but is becoming the most frequently diagnosed. Part of the reason it is difficult is that the disorder can fit right into a person’s personality--that “quirky old uncle” or that “eccentric” Auntie. Perhaps people say, “Oh, they’ve always been like that.” Well, they may have always been bipolar type 2. Characteristic of BP2 is that they do NOT have full blown mania they have what’s called “hypomanic” episodes. Milder episodes than mania. Distinguishing BP2 is that it has more and/or longer periods of severe depression than the others. Also, there is no psychotic break.

"Rapid Cycling (as a course [of the illness] specifier or descriptor)

"This disorder is a pattern of distinct episodes in bipolar order. ( Up, down, up, down) In rapid cycling a person experiences four or more episodes of mania or depression in one year.

"Cyclothemic Disorder

"Is a chronically unstable mood state in which people experience hypomania and mild depression for at least 2 years. In children that is one year. People with Cyclothemia may have periods of normal mood state but that lasts typically less than 8 weeks. 

"Bipolar Disorder (“other specified” or “unspecified”)

"Is when a person does not meet the criteria for Bipolar 1, 2 or Cyclothemic yet still experience periods of clinically significant abnormal mood elevation. This can be associated with drug and alcohol use as well.

"Now, there are also TWO LEVELS OF MOOD IN MANIA. Euphoric and Dysphoric 

"With Euphoric mania the person appears and feels happy and joyful, in reality the behavior is over the top and the mood is generally narcissistic and perhaps predatory.

"Dysphoric, also called a mixed episode, is the opposite. This is energized depression, anxiety and irritation. It’s our most dangerous mood swing as it leads to the most violence and has a high risk of suicide as well as accidental injury or death.

"Now, a cluster of at least two symptoms is what makes the diagnosis and there MUST be a manic episode. The actual symptoms can come forth in any number of combined ways. 

"There can be two or more ways the symptoms of mania or hypomania present. They can show up in varying degrees of intensity. This is what makes Bipolar 2 hard to diagnose. Sometimes it is very obvious and others it is very subtle. I’m back to what’s written on the board. It would be great if you take at least one note today--pretty please. (Laughter)

"Once properly diagnosed everyone has their own 'usual' identifiable symptoms that indicates a pending slide up to mania or hypomania. It does take time to identify those behaviors but with some journaling and the help of outside observers those things become familiar then it becomes easier to manage the disorder. Once you are able to recognize the symptoms you can have a management plan in place. The plan benefits you as well as your loved ones when you become symptomatic. The bipolar person most times does not realize they are symptomatic. As always, it’s better to be proactive than reactive. On the back of this sheet I have a form to get you started thinking about that plan.

"The NUMBER ONE method to manage bipolar is manage your lifestyle. Medication is secondary and essential. Manage sleep, positive relationships, diet and exercise. Get counseling help and support as needed.

"MEDICATION is the second line of defense and is key to managing the disorder. Write that down--pretty please. (Laughter) And write this down and underline it. Do not seek help from anyone other than a Psychiatrist! I can’t emphasize that enough! This disorder needs specific management and is beyond the experience of an MD. Find a Psychiatrist you know and trust because that relationship will hopefully be a long-standing one. There needs to be trust there. I’ve had the same one for nearly 9 years now. 

"My main message, everyone has their own unique indicators of a mood change and medication can make those episodes fewer and farther between. (Charlotte sneaks a peek at Sidney and he’s smiling.)

"What do I mean by that? With medication the desire is to control manic episodes. The “ups”. Why? Because if you control the highs you can control the lows better and won’t swing “low” meaning, to the opposite end of the pole. We want to prevent the “low”, the depression. The reason this disorder is called “bi” polar is because you don’t have one without the other. Make sense? 

"Now, there already is a lot of self-shaming with this disorder. There also is some kick back from the general UNEDUCATED public in regard to this disorder but I can’t emphasize enough that bipolar disorder is a very small part of who you are. It simply is a health issue you have to manage like you would diabetes. Yes. It’s constant. Yes, it’s daily. So is diabetes. It involves a daily medication but don’t let it define you. And seriously, don’t waste your time and effort on those who don’t or aren’t willing to take the time to know you on a personal level. 

"ABOVE ALL, don’t apologize for something that you have inherited and have no control over! Truly it’s like those who have high blood pressure or diabetes. You have to manage it! It’s you! It sucks! I’m not going to lie because, once diagnosed, this is ‘get real’ time. It’s not going away. You don’t have bipolar and it’s suddenly gone, like a cold. It doesn’t work that way. How-ev-er, you can manage it and not let the disorder manage YOU! And please disregard ignorant people that say such STUUU-PID things! You know the type; they spout off and tell stories that aren’t even true in order to join the party. I have a saying, “These people are dumb. D-U-M.” (The room laughs.)"

"But in reality you deserve:

“R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me. R-E-S-P-E-C-T, take care of TCB, OW!  
A little respect. (Sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me) Oh!  
A little respect (Sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me).” (1 - Aretha Franklin) 

The audience is laughing now. A couple guys in the front row are imitating Aretha. [Oh, thank God they like this!] Charlotte sneaks another look at Sidney and he’s laughing at the guys and throws his head back in a nod. He leans back, crosses his ankles and arms and has a huge smile.

[I know EXACTLY where she’s going with this. This is great! God, I love this girl!]

"Those with Bipolar disorder tend to be risk takers and visionaries. They are able to think outside the box. They become entrepreneurs, musicians and actors. There are famous poets, authors, artists….comedians! Some famous people who also have/had bipolar disorder are (pictures flash on the screen)

\- Jimi Hendrix, Musician  
\- Frank Sinatra, Singer/Actor  
\- Sting, Singer/Song Writer  
\- Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia/Star Wars)  
\- Mariah Carey, Singer/Songwriter  
\- Abraham Lincoln  
\- Winston Churchill, British Prime Minister during WWII  
\- Marilyn Monroe, Actress  
\- Russell Brand, British Comedian  
\- Vincent Van Gogh, Artist (Starry Night)  
\- Earnest Hemingway, Author  
\- Demi Lovato, Actress/Singer  
\- Amy Winehouse, Singer  
\- Kurt Cobain, Musician/Singer (Nirvana)  
\- Kanye West, Singer/Song Writer  
\- Brittany Spears, Singer  
\- Selena Gomez, Singer

"Let me share a few stories: I had a member of a support group I attended speak of how on his first break, he was walking in the snow barefoot, with no coat on, in the middle of winter on a busy street because he thought he was Jesus. He was walking to get to the party where he could turn water into wine. This was his first episode and he was 22 years old and a college student. College equals poor sleep habits. What type of Bipolar is he? (Someone yells out “Type 1”.)

"Yes! He is BP1 because he had that psychotic break. There is more to this story a little later on.

"Bipolar 2, Cyclothemic, and rapid cycling occurs more commonly in women otherwise there is no difference in frequency of occurence between men and women. The disorder occurs the same percentage of time between males and females.

"I can almost pinpoint when my hypomania started. It was 8th grade. Charlotte flashes up her school pictures for comparison from 7th grade to 8th grade and there is a HUGE contrast. (The audience is snickering.). She flips between them.

"So here is 7th. 8th. What? You think that’s funny? (She laughs.) U-G-L-Y you ain’t got no alibi. You ugly! Say, hey you ugly!” (The audience bursts out laughing.) 

"My 7th grade photo has these lovely plastic rimmed glasses, a bad haircut I did myself and a hand me down shirt of my brothers’. Then there’s the 8th grade photo. New stylish haircut. Wire rimmed aviator style glasses and a very fashionable female (!) shirt. Truly it’s like night and day. And note the expression on the face and the gleam in the eye. I’m really feeling happy and self-confident there. Then she has them together on one screen. Uhhhh, yeah. There’s a good example of Bipolar in action. Now I rode that hypomanic wave all the way until age 23. 

"Now, let’s start with facts. Fact: Bipolar is hereditary. It’s in your DNA. You either have the gene for bipolar disorder or you don’t. 

Born This Way : “I’m beautiful in my own way ‘cause God makes no mistakes/ I’m on the right track baby I was born this way/ Don’t hide yourself in regret just love yourself and you’re set/ Ooo there ain’t no other way, baby i was born this way/ I’m on the right track baby I was born this way…” (2 - Lady Gaga) 

(The audience is catching on and smiling. They are anticipating and looking for the next song.)

"My mother was bipolar and so was her father—a self-made multi-millionaire. Does this mean you will automatically have bipolar diagnosed in your lifetime if your relatives have the disorder? No. It can skip from grandparent to grandchild it does’t have to be parent to child. It means you happen to have a switch in you that at some point MAY get tripped and turned on. You are born this way and you are a beautiful person regardless! Don’t EVER let someone say otherwise.

Beautiful: “Right now I’m looking at you and I can’t believe / You don’t know oh oh, you don’t know you’re beautiful / But that’s what makes you beautiful/ Nana nana nana nana (x3)” (3 - One Direction)

"It’s the uneducated and ignorant people that think that way. Why would you be lesser because you have bipolar disorder and it’s not diabetes? After today we can educate those people unless they’re TRULY ignorant. Again, D-U-M is just that. THAT is not our problem. Just do what you can do to share the facts. Okay? 

"So what flips that switch? STRESS! Stress almost always causes the Bipolar break. So let’s look at the top 10 most stressful life events, in order but first! Take note! What typically happens FIRST when you’re under stress? Your sleep gets whacked out, right? In order of severity:

1\. Death of a loved one  
2\. Separation or divorce  
3\. Getting married  
4\. Starting a new job  
5\. Workplace stressors  
6\. Financial problems  
7\. Moving to a new home  
8\. Chronic illness or injury  
9\. Retirement  
10\. Transitioning to adulthood

Pressure: You have to learn to pace yourself / You’re just like everybody else / Pressure  
You only had to run so far, so good / But you will come to a place where the only thing you feel / Is loaded guns in your face and you’ll have to deal with / Pressure/ No where to look but inside where we all respond to / Pressure (4 - Billy Joel)

"My diagnostic was that I was depressed for a long period of time and just could not shake it. I had miscarried and was incredibly depressed. (#8 - my miscarriage was an injury and involved surgery). I was also on the verge of divorce (#2) and a full time student with no income. (#6) LOTS O’STRESS! I had never felt sadness for an extended period of time and my anxiety was through the roof. We tried several medications for a year and a half for depression and I was not getting better when my doctor decided, this started with hormones, let’s try this. I had my first hormone shot and had a manic episode. The next shot, the following month resulted in another manic episode. I was diagnosed. I do believe the BP was there the whole time since I was that middle schooler and maybe even since childhood, I just happened to ride a wave of hypomania up until then. For over a decade.

"Typical onset for bipolar is in the late teens and early 20’s. 

TEENAGED: “Stood there boldly, sweatin’ in the sun/ Felt like a million’, felt like number one/ The height of summer, I’d never felt that strong/ Like a rock  
I was 18, didn’t have a care/ working for peanuts, not a dime to spare/ but I was lean and solid everywhere/ Like a rock…” (5 - Bob Seger)

"They haven’t quite nailed down why that is but it likely pertains to hormonal changes and final development of the brain. As I referred to the neurotransmitters with my hands demonstration there are many final connections in the prefrontal cortex that happens in your brain at those ages. Complete development of the brain does not occur until age 25 and the theory is things just don’t line up in order in the end.

"Now this is important, so I’m going to repeat myself. Always consider Bipolar as a DIS-order of the neurotransmitters because that’s what it IS. Neurotransmitters are simply out of order. BP is NOT an “illness”. These people are not “ill” or “sick” or less than in any way. Yes, it falls under the umbrella of “mental illness” but specifically BP is a DIS-order. Also note, #10 on the list of stressors is when the disorder typically shows up. That is not a coincidence.

"So what does Bipolar look like? I’m going to give you some typical symptoms associated with mania BUUUUUT be aware (Charlotte points and refers back to the white board) the BIGGEST thing I want you to remember is that BP manifests itself DIFFERENTLY in each person and to varying degrees of intensity, therefore, it can be hard to diagnose. Especially Type 2. The disorder can present itself with one or more of these symptoms showing up.

"Things can be subtle like the person is talking fast or they move quickly and can’t sit still. I used to call those my 'busy days'...”I have too much to do. I can’t possibly sit down and take a break.”

"I need to point out, right up front, SLEEP BEHAVIOR is one of the MOST COMMON triggers for manic episodes. One of the first indicators of a manic or hypomanic episode is the person needs less sleep than others and can sometimes go withOUT sleep. In my case this is pretty much my first symptom. Now, I am a natural night owl anyway so sometimes it can be hard to tell. But if I wake up EARLY, willingly and smiling after a late night then that’s suspicious. I have never claimed to be a dew-kissed morning glory, glistening in the dawning sun.

(Charlotte throws a glance to Sidney who is smiling and shaking his head and mouths “noooo”.)

"So, if I wake up and function on 3 hours sleep for too many days in a row, watch out!”

“Raven hair and ruby lips/ Sparks fly from her fingertips/ Echo voices in the night/ She’s a restless spirit on an endless flight/ Oooo, witchy woman/ See how high she flies/ Oooo witchy woman/ She’s got the moon in her eyes” 6) The Eagles

“Who? Meeeee…?” (The audience laughs.) (One more glance at Sidney and he pulls up to sit forward in his seat, elbow on desk, hand under chin. He’s smiling his proud grin.)

"You can be all but sure I’m heading into a hypomanic phase and there will be an equally dramatic swing to the lower pole, where I will stay for longer. That is typical for the disorder. I constantly battle the depression as a person with Bipolar Type 2 does. BP2 often gets misdiagnosed as unipolar/regular depression until that manic episode shows up.

"Here I want to interject a story from that same support group I mentioned earlier. One member spoke of how he pulled his car into his driveway and kept the lights on so he could paint his garage door in the dark. It was 2:00 am.

“Hello darkness my old friend…” (7 - Simon & Garfunkel) The audience laughs a lot and shifts in their seats.

"Again, in full disclosure….this would be me!! Doesn’t everyone paint their garage door at 2:00 am? In hypomania that would not seem strange to me. I usually make tons of lists that include all the things I wanted to get done while I was down and depressed. So during my hypomanic episode while I’m feeling good I’m trying to catch up on all the stuff I didn’t get done. If the garage door was on the list…? Why not!? 2:00 am works for me--especially since I’m not needing much sleep!

"Now the gentleman mentioned here and the other mentioned earlier, both from my same support group, are father and son. One Type 2 and the other Type 1, believing he was Christ. That’s an example of how this disorder manifests itself differently in each individual. 

"So what are typical symptoms of a manic episode? There are several actually and they occur to varying degrees. One is RISKY OR RECKLESS BEHAVIOR. There are symptoms such as engaging in dangerous and/or risky behavior and it is out of character for the person. Such as driving one’s car at high speed and driving recklessly. Or experimenting with drugs or alcohol.

WILD BEHAVIOR: “Get your motor runnin’/ Head out on the highway/ Looking for adventure and whatever comes our way/ Yeah, I gotta go make it happen/ Take the world in a love embrace Fire all of your guns at once and explode into space / Like a true nature’s child/ We were born, born to be wild/ We can climb so high/ I never want to diiiiiie/ Born to be wiiiildI / Born to be wiiiiild…” (8 - Steppenwolf)

"Part of that wild or irresponsible behavior can be around money. Gambling or giving away money is not uncommon. GAMBLING: You got to know when to hold ‘em/ Know when to fold ‘em/ Know when to walk away/ Know when to run/ You never count your money/ When you’re sittin’ at the table/ There’ll be time enough for countin’/ When the dealin’s done (9 - Kenny Rogers)

"Or having a much more active SEX drive thusly partaking in risky sexual behavior, often with strangers.

“I made it through the wilderness/ Somehow I made it through/ Didn’t know how lost I was until I found you/I was beat, incomplete/ I’ve been had, I was sad and blue/ But you made me feel/ Yeah, you made me feel/ Shiny and new/Like a virgin/ Touched for the very first time/ Like a viiiirgin, when your heart beats/ Next to mine./ Like a virgin…” (10 - Madonna) 

“NOT!” Charlotte yells out and the room erupts in laughter.

"Fairly often a person will spend too much MONEY or money they don’t have incurring large amounts of debt.

“Money, money, money, muuunnnney...I know that money is the root of all evil/ Do funny things to some people/ Give me a nickel, brother can you spare a dime/ Money can drive some people out of their minds/ Got to have it/ I really need it/Money, money, money, muuunnney...” (11 - The O’Jays)

"There can also be a SELF-CENTERED mania where the person thinks they do everything right and others are all wrong. They think they are better than others, in a big way. They readily alienate people. 

“I’m too hot (hot damn) Called a police and a fireman/ I’m too hot (hot damn) Make a dragon want to retire man/ I’m too hot (hot damn) Say my name you know who I am/ I’m too hot (hot damn) Am I bad ‘bout that money/ Now Uptown Funk gonna give it to ya’/ Uptown Funk gonna give it to you/Don’t believe me just watch, don’t believe me just watch/ Don’t believe me just watch, don’t believe me just watch/hey, hey, hey, hey/ OW! Up-town funk you up, up-town funk you up...” (12 - Bruno Mars)

“I go a little longer on that one; I love it!”

"There are those who have GRANDIOSE IDEAS and can’t see why others aren’t willing to go along with their vision. Such as buying a dilapidated property and envisioning how it will look following massive amounts of labor, lots and lots of time and even MORE amounts of money. That doesn’t seem like much to the bipolar person experiencing grandiose ideas and having self-centered symptoms. 'Why can’t they see what I see?'

“Our house is a very, very, very fine house/ With two cats in the yard/ Life used to be so hard/ Now everything is easy ‘cause of yoooouuu… I’ll light the fire while you place the flowers in the vase you bought todaaaay… (13 - Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young)

Charlotte continues on this way for the remainder of her scheduled 45-minute lecture and then takes 10 minutes of questions.

“In closing, I do want to add that I hope you’ll share this information you learned here today when things come up. Bipolar does seem to be the buzz these days. Please share these FACTS with friends, relatives, work colleagues and ESPECIALLY with those you feel need help. Please pass along my contact information. ABOVE ALL! Please...spread the facts from today and share the hope.

"Well, this has been wonderful, everyone. I’m Dr. Charlotte Parker. Thank you for being here with me today."

The room erupts in applause and students stand up to leave but stop to give a “standing o”.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.”

Charlotte is smiling. She has her hands clasped together and brings them to her lips. [I did it! Oh, my God! I did it!] She looks up at Sidney who is standing, applauding and smiling a huge, proud grin. [Ohhhh, that handsome creeper in a suit is my HUSBAND! Ahhh! I am so blessed! I still can’t believe it sometimes! I love him sooo much!] Sidney stops applauding in order to make eye contact with Charlotte. He puts his hand on his heart, pats it three times and winks.

<< AUTHOR'S NOTE FOLLOWS RESOURCES/FOOTNOTES >>

_________________________  
_________________________

Helpful Resources:

“Bipolar Disorder Demystified: Mastering the Tightrope of Manic Depression” by Lana R. Castle

“Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder” by Julie A. Fast and John Preston, PsyD  
(A 4-step plan for you and your loved ones to manage the illness and create lasting stability)

“Two Bipolar Chicks Guide to Survival: Tips for living with Bipolar Disorder by Wendy K. Williamson and Honora Rose

NAMI.org (National Alliance on Mental Illness)

Footnotes:

1). “Respect” - Written by Otis Redding

2). “Born This Way” - Written by Lady Gaga and Jesper Larson 

3). “What Makes You Beautiful” - Written by Savan Kotecha, Rami Yacoub and Carl Falk

4). “Pressure” - Written by Billy Joel

5). “Like A Rock” - Written by Bob Seger

6). “Witchy Woman” - Written by Don Henley and Bernie Leadon

7). “Sound Of Silence” - Written by Paul Simon

8). “Born To Be Wild” - Written by Mars Bonfire

9). ”The Gambler” - Written by Don Schlitz 

10). “Like A Virgin” - Written by Billy Steinberg and Tom Kelly Gamble and Anthony Jackson

11). “For The Love Of Money” - Written by Gamble and Huff, Leon Hoff, Kenny Gamble and Anthony Jackson

12). ”Uptown Funk” - Written by Bruno Marrs, Mark Ronson and Jeff Bhaskerk 

13). “Our House” - Written by Graham Nash

Dear Reader,

Thank you so much for reading my story about Sidlotte! Oh, I couldn’t be more happy for them. Married and a whole new life ahead of them: 

Plans in place to be together. (Sidney in Minneapolis for 3 weeks. Charlotte visits Sanditon for 6 weeks in the summer. [Swimming season!] 

Sidney's new job allows them to see each other at least once a month when he comes to Minneapolis for business.

Charlotte scores a full-time job with the U of M in the fall.

Visa gets approved right at Christmas time.

Sidney gets the Minneapolis job. How could it be better? I think they would answer, “Once settled, start our family." 

This is what fairytales [and stories on AO3) are made of, right?! Love at first sight and pursuing the one you love no matter what with a happy ever after ending. [Wow!] I wanted to depict that Sidney and Charlotte always “found their way back to each other” in spite of some big [huge!] issues and circumstances that happened to their relationship.

Sidney, I wrote him acting and saying what Iiii would like to have from my mate. As the author, what would I want (my ideal) Sidney to say and do. I liked how he anticipated the needs of Charlotte and how he was always willing to work and learn about the relationship. I liked that he was playful and ornery. Sooo funny! What would I ideally want my mate to say and do in any given scenario? That’s how I developed his character. I adored his “snuggling”, his spooning, his sweet hand holding and kissing and his amazing bear hugs of comfort for Charlotte. [Ones that say, “Let me hold you and I’ll make the world go away."] So sweet and endearing. Protective. Patient. Kind. Respectful. He never lost sight that he would “do whatever it takes to be with her.” He was FABULOUS, wasn’t he?? [If only!]

As you have likely guessed this story was somewhat autobiographical. I have Bipolar Type 2 but was diagnosed 17 years ago. [All of what I shared here in terms of feelings and emotions are real. Some days it just gets hard, ya’ know!?] Nothing about the illness is steady, stable or predictable so for a control freak who was used to succeeding (like I feel I was) it’s truly a test of my faith. A bigger test is dealing with the perpetual depression.

I am divorced from an abusive marriage but I was married nearly 20 years. [Not just 5 years, like Charlotte.] There was/is a lot more damage done. Writing of Charlotte's psychological damage surrounding her divorce came easily to me--imagine that? [My children were 8 and 4 at separation/divorce time--7 and 3 at the time of diagnosis.] I raised my children as a single mother with primary custody due to abuse from my husband--he hurt the children, too. (My "final straw".) Single parenting children/teenagers was by far the hardest time I've ever lived through with consideration of my illness. (Charlotte having children from her first marriage would have been a whole different story.) I liked to think of her and Sidney as having no commitments and completely able to start afresh, together. I deliberately put them in their 30’s. They’ve lived a little. There’s some maturity there.

There's so much of myself in this story that I probably could have made this letter a whole lot shorter by pointing out the 3-4 things that are NOT true! 

I most definitely have “Charlotte moments”. Sidney’s chest for example, in real life, would do me in, I’m sure! [Ahhhh!] She’s a spontaneous “spirit”, that’s for sure! [Maybe doesn't think it all through?] I like to think I am as well. [But is that ADHD? IDK!] I live in South Minneapolis in a lovely tudor just steps from the Minnehaha Parkway and mere blocks from Lake Nokomis. YES! That candlelit bridge (over Minnehaha creek) on 12th Ave and the Parkway DOES exist! Every Christmas Eve we light 60 candles. This will be our 26th year. [Anyone in the cities please come by! A couple of you responded here.] And yes, I have a quirky red-haired cat that snores, named Weasley!! I do have a real estate license and I do nanny.

I did lose my (bipolar) mom to Alzheimers and she was a BRILLIANT person. [Smartest person I ever knew.] I was always astounded at what she knew and how capable she was. She did make many contributions to our town over the years in the areas of historic preservation and the arts. I’m very proud of that. Red Oak is my dad’s hometown. He does have a long-term girlfriend [no one gives a straight answer as to how long] and my one brother lives there in a historic home. Cousins and Aunt also live there--the sisters I never had! [We’ve lost Grandma GG but giving her more great-grandchildren (“making babies” and “crackers”) was her constant comment. Bless her! I miss her so much!] My other brother does live in France. He was a model in Paris for 10 years and did do runway shows for Hugo Boss regularly as well as other designers. He is a musical artist for Disneyland Paris. I have lived in Minneapolis for 35 years now and I HATE winter! I do touch on some of the highlights of living in the Twin Cities. This has been somewhat of an ode to Minneapolis given the horrific summer we’ve had. 

What I wanted to do with this story was to touch upon things that mean a lot to me; such as death, grief, bipolar disorder, character, integrity, forgiveness... Meanwhile approach topics like domestic abuse, the 7 deadly sins and faith. There's so much more to be said here. Thank you to the many who praised my depiction of the illness. That was very real. It’s all autobiographical. I found it painful to write at times but it made me think about things like, “where am I 17 years later?” I’ve moved beyond “bargaining” (most days) and I think I've settled into the stage of depression. I may end up staying at that stage 'cause I don’t know that I can ever fully accept things--even after all this time.

My mission, as stated here in this last chapter was to raise awareness of bipolar disorder and pass along factual information. “Bipolar” is all the buzz these days. It’s in the news, it’s gossip at the water cooler and the topic du jour at the dinner party. [Metaphorically speaking.] My hope here was to spread some FACTS and hope; I also want to make people aware of the symptoms so you/they/others can recognize someone who may need help. NAMI is a useful resource for family support. [Hopefully the music helps you recall those symptoms more easily.] This illness sucks! I’m not going to lie! I do believe that a large amount of the "suck-i-ness" comes from judgment of others which in turn causes self-shame and blame. Those of us with bipolar hold a secret in order to not be judged! It's hard to live your life that way. Basically telling lies throughout your day. Why? Because we don't want to be further isolated or alienated. We already live on a secluded, emotional island. Trying to deal with the illness day in and day out is hard enough. With more understanding all the way around the current situation for those with BPD can be much better. This is the purpose for this story. [Educate a few and teach many—I hope!]

Through research, soul-searching and meeting others I am realizing that positive personal relationships are key. Everyone needs this support. This is huge need in my case--I've lost friends and a marriage! Modification of lifestyle and medication there is a best chance at stabilizing the symptoms. Personally, I get one or two of these done but never all 3 at the same time--at least not sustained. [Wouldn’t it be great to have a Sidney in my life to make me accountable! Someone who can objectively monitor one's behavior...yes, please! Ha!] The “acting” and fatigue for me are very real. Acting is done 90% of the time of my every day. [I try to fool the ones who don’t know better. Thank God I do have a back ground in Theater and acting!) I spend a lot of time depressed as Type 2 does. In 17 years I HAVE learned that I just can't pull the sheet over my head or I’d be spending much of my life in bed! It doesn't go away. [It's not a "bad dream" that you'll wake up from.] I want to live and beat the hold that this illness has on me, even if it's just one day at a time. [All of us with BPD can relate to that sentiment.] It makes me very grateful when I have a string of good days in a row.

I incorporated music into the story because it has always been a great way for me to communicate and to “switch gears” on a bad day. If you don't know the songs already, maybe listen on Pandora or YouTube. They’re great! Lastly, I tried to infuse humor and mutual admiration into the story. Sidney and Charlotte genuinely LIKE each other which carries over to their LOVE for one another. Wit and sense of humor saved Charlotte and Sidney's relationship at times. [If all else fails, take a breath and laugh.] I hope my jokes and sarcasm brought a smile to your face.

In closing, I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did bringing it to you! (6 months to the day! Wow!) It was cathartic! I needed that right now—it definitely helped me through the isolation of the pandemic. Thank you again for all your support--kudos, comments and bookmarks. I am flattered and very humbled.

Wishing you a safe and joyous holiday season!

Keith 22

PS - There was no sex in the pool (Dang!) ;-)

PPS - I am most DEFINITELY a prude! (Writing about sex? Ahhh! Painful! Hahaha!)


End file.
